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INSIDER HORSE TRADING–Recently, our Web master and bad guy sleuth, the Digital Gangster, began to sneak links into bike mag e-mail portals so we can scoop up insider information on several magazines. Here?s a report on the outlandish chopper mag HORSE:Although I write from this address (military), it’s not the address I want bookmarked for obvious reasons. The recon account is being cancelled, so it will be no more! Just wanted to pass that on.
I’m working on issue 23 right now. I’d like submissions by the 15th, or at least let me know what you’re planning on submitting, so I know how much space to allow. I already have something from Englishman, some great stuff by the way. I also have something from Indiana Bill. Rod, let me know if you’re going to do a short write up on Tony’s Knuck.
Shows are right around the corner: Cincinnati, Indy and Daytona. I will try to make Cincinnati, but am in doubt about Indy and Daytona for reasons related to commitments on Feb. 28, which may take the wind out of my sail. Otherwise, I’ll make them all.
WI was thinking about having the twins attend Daytona and Cincinnati. That may be more than we can afford, so any recommendations would be appreciated. I want to start putting them out and see if it’s worth having a recognizable model every year. I think it is, and will draw people to them and our magazine.
I need someone to work with Ed Martin to do a write up on a bike we’re using on the next cover. Any takers?
Matt…I like your humor; use it and do some spoofs or takes on current trends, etc. The posts on Backtalk regarding the issue with the reverse photo was good.Jon Towle, you’re a genius, regardless of what Geno says behind your back.Anyway, that’s all I have for now. -Hammer.
RUN FOR BREATH UPDATE–As often as we can, we will publish information on the 4th annual Run For Breath, sponsored by Charlotte Harley-Davidson. I was invited to be the master of ceremonies last year and rumor has it that I may have the honor of attending again this year.
This event is designed to collect contributions for a kids? asthma facility. Mike Pullin, the parts manager at Charlotte H-D, lost his son to an asthma attack five years ago and he kicked off this event in his son?s name. Last year I invited Lee Clemens from Departure Bike Works in Richmond, Va., to attend as he had recently lost his son, Travis. When Lee and Mike met, a new and lasting friendship bond was formed, and Mike has attended a Departure Bike Works event in Richmond.
The event takes place in July and we?ll give you reports from time to time including news such as: HORSE magazine will be involved through staff member and one helluva writer, Edge. He?s working with Mike and a woman called the ?Meanest? from the dealership. I don?t dare touch on this woman. If I say one nasty word about that lady, she?ll kick my ass into the middle of tomorrow.
Speakin of Mike Pullin—-
Check out his latest creation??Skeletor
Hey Bandit,Here are some pics of my 91 Springer, aka Skeletor. I changed the bars,exhaust and seat. I think it came out pretty cool! A little info on thebike. I bought the bike new in 1991. The engine has an Andrews EV46 cam,Screamin’ Eagle ignition module, S&S E carb and Samson rip saw exhaust. The rear fender is all steel — twoFat Boy fenders made into one!
Later!
Mike
ANOTHER INSIDER MAG REPORT–Here?s a snatched e-mail from the editor of Cruising Rider, Josh Placa, who hides in a cave in Sedona, Ariz. ?To twist your melon further, over, I have included the new names for thespring, summer, etc. issues, which we think make more sense. I mean, afterall, what da fuck is “Peak Season?” Readers, advertisers and even fatheadfreelancers can now know what de fuck they’re working on, over.
Spring (new name for ’02 will be March/April) — done
Summer (new name for ’02 will be May/June) — deadline 1/15 (on sale4/3/02)
Peak Season (new name is July/August — 3/15 (on sale 5/29)
Fall (new name is Sept./Oct. — 5/1 (on sale 7/24)
BIKERNET INSIDER REPORT–Since I?m halfway around the world, the only way I can maintain my heavy-handed control over every goddamn aspect of the site is to have the Digital Gangster check outgoing Bikernet e-mails. This e-mail is to some new broad Sin?s chasin?.
?YOU ARE SO NASTY…….UMMM! I do want to know more about you. Is this goingto be just a cyber thing or are you seriously wanting to know me? If so,then tell me about you and I will most likely let you wash my hair, latherme and rub lotion anywhere you desire. Sin.?
Help me out. What the hell does she mean?
ALTERNATE BIKER WEB SITE– I haven?t checked it out because I?m creeping into the middle of the ocean and it costs me mint to go online. What the hell, check it out and let me know what you think: Beauty of Speed – A state of the art power quest http://www.beautyofspeed.com/.”Dedicated to 1940s Harley-Davidson, Indian and Crocker Motorcycles speedand racing.”
Among sections noted…Updated Oct. 26, 2001Now up: a complete index ofwhere to get 45 performanceparts. Get more power!
-John
FORBES MAGAZINE NAMES HARLEY-DAVIDSON AS COMPANY OF THE YEAR
Performance, passion and outlook cited in story
MILWAUKEE — (Dec. 20, 2001) Harley-Davidson Inc. has been named Company of the Year by FORBES Magazine, one the world’s leading business publications. The honor and accompanying article entitled “Love Into Money” appears in the Jan. 7, 2002, edition of FORBES and on the magazine’s Web site at www.forbes.com.
Key factors cited for the FORBES Company of the Year award include Harley-Davidson’s record sales growth and earnings, along with strong overall financial performance. In addition, the article notes the company’s long and storied history as well as the devotion of its enthusiasts as deciding factors. “Harley-Davidson stirs passion in its riders, its dealers and its employees and translates that passion into profit,” the article states.
The article also focuses on Harley-Davidson’s new V-Rod motorcycle and its development, the Buell line of motorcycles, the Rider’s Edge New Rider Course, and the Company’s history and technological advancement.
Harley-Davidson Inc. is the parent company for Harley-Davidson Motor Company, Buell Motorcycle Company and Harley-Davidson Financial Services, Inc. Harley-Davidson Motor Company, the only major U.S.-based motorcycle manufacturer, produces heavyweight motorcycles and offers a complete line of motorcycle parts, accessories, apparel, and general merchandise. Buell Motorcycle Company produces sport and sport-touring motorcycles. Harley-Davidson Financial Services, Inc. provides wholesale and retail financing, insurance and credit card programs to Harley-Davidson dealers and customers.
DEGREES OF BLONDNESS
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blond), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here,” and hung up.
The husband said, “Who was that?”The wife said, “I don’t know; some woman wanting to know ‘if the coast is clear.”
TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.”
The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!”
THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.”
The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”
FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.”
A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?”
The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy W.”
FIVE
Q: What the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant.
A “Is it mine?”
Surrogate Father
The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and elected to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.”
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I’ve come to…”
“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.
“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies.”
“That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.” After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.”
“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”
“My, that’s a lot of. . . ” gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.”
“Don’t I know it,” Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.”
“Oh my God!!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”
“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.”
“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
“Yes”, the photographer said. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.”
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “You mean they actually chewed on your, um…equipment?”
“That’s right. Well, madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.”
“Tripod?”
“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?…Good Lord, she’s fainted!”
A Slab Of Rocks
A team of archaeologists were working in Jerusalem when they found slabof rock with five figures carved on it. In order the figures were:
1. A Woman 2. A Donkey 3. A Shovel 4. A Fish and5. A Star of David.
After months of studying the rock and figures on it, the leader tookthe rock and went on a lecture tour. He said the carvings were severalthousands of years old but even so they revealed a lot about the peopleof that time.
1. The woman being placed first in the line of figures indicated thatwomen were held in very high esteem. It was most likely a familyoriented culture.
2. The donkey indicated they had domesticated animals. They probablyused the donkey to till the fields.
3. The shovel shows they were highly intelligent as they knew how tomake tools.
4. The fish shows they knew how to augment the crops they raised byalso reaping from the sea.
5. The Star of David of course indicates they were a very religiousgroup of people.
A little old man in the front row finally got the attention of thespeaker. When acknowledged he said………….I’m sorry to blow yourconclusions, but you were reading it left to right. In Hebrew we readfrom right to left. That way it reads……… “Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that woman!!
Rogue-
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