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Hipster Biker Bashing Done The Right Way

By February 11, 2014General Posts

tumblr_inline_n0hnnaDBiC1qm0scgHave you grown tired of seeing these highly stylized motorcycle videos crafted by film students with high-end SLR cameras yet? I am talking about these heavily-processed short films that feature bespectacled bearded young urban lads in crepe-soled boots who drink fair trade coffee and ride anything from a café racer-inspired sportster with knobby tires to a late-model Triumph Bonneville with clip-on bars, wrapped head pipes and a pair of glass-pack mufflers.

In some of the videos, you can see riders waxing their mustache and squinting—there’s always a lot of squinting—as they contemplate the meaning of life while a fine mist plays in the faint morning light, revealing the outlines of an old Honda CB 750. The next shot or ‘vignette’ is likely to feature a shower of sparks emanating from an angle grinder and some banging on metal, or a collection of vintage hand tools artistically arranged on an oil-stained workbench… Hey, we think that’s cool to some extent, as it displays another aspect of people’s passion for motorcycles.

But if these videos make you cringe, you’re not alone. Apparently, a group of anonymous motorcycle derelicts has decided to do something about it. In their own words, they’re dedicated to “Dismantling pretense by bustin’ balls”. They say that the motorcycles are the victims, so they’re going after pretentious hipsters. Anyway their web page is good for a few laughs and here’s an idea of what you can expect from these smug bastards… —Ben Lamboeuf

”I don’t know what this knob does but I’ve seen other people fiddle with it.  

Pro tip, cafe dudes. I know it looks cool and all, but don’t ride around on the street with your headlights taped up. It makes already shitty lights on old bikes even worse. The tape is usually a requirement race tracks have so when you crash, tiny shards of glass don’t end up all over the place. I know it looks super authentic and you wouldn’t want to look inauthentic but trust me. You look like a tool.

More here.