I?ve received some shit about the girls at the headquarters. Hell, were just havin? a good time. Sensing it was a jealously bi, we?ve decided to share the girls with the Cantina Members. The real reason is that last week was the Chinese New Year which was established to coincide with the anniversary of Bandit?s Cantina. Wasn?t that nice of China to do that?
The Cantina has grown tremendously over the last year. You are going to see more books launched, more games and now women without clothes.
We?re looking forward to delivering a portion of the site that will give you a break from the rest of the world and yet you?ll always have access to the free section and all it contains. Fuck it. I sound like a goddamn commercial and you?re already members. Here?s da news:
Victory?s Plans For Bike Week Unleashed
. Victory has lots going on at Daytona, including exhibits on Beach Street and at the Speedway, where we?ll offer demo rides. Among the products we?ll feature at Daytona are:
The new Freedom V-twin and the complete 2002 Victory lineup.
The new Stage 2 Big Bore Kit for the Freedom V-Twin.
The Stage 1 performance kit for the Freedom V-twin.
The new flamed bodywork for 2002 V92TCs. This custom-painted bodywork is available through Victory dealers and replaces stock sheet metal. (Flamed bodywork for 2002 V92Cs is currently available; is will be available for the TCs in July.)
Arlen and Cory Ness. They have expanded their working relationship with Victory and are doing bike development work as well as producing Victory accessories. Their California shop is a Victory dealership, and the new store they?re about to open in Daytona will also be a Victory dealership. We are scheduling interviews with the Ness?s and Victory GM Mark Blackwell to discuss their roles and plans. Their primary availability as a group is Thursday, March 7, at the Victory display.
The first-ever Victory Riders Association (VRA) ride. The annual Victory owners ride at Daytona will be the first group ride for the new owners group, the VRA. It will take place Wednesday, March 6.
Victory Customs and Concept Bikes. Bikes from master builder Don Hotop and RC Components will be on display at the Beach Street site.
Deer Hunter Report
Bandit, I feel your pain! I mean the part about hittin’ the deer…….I, too, had a bambi experience that left me shaken. All those years of ridin’ and close calls caught up with me, so I got to looking for some sort of deer whistle so they’ll know it’s me. We all know that the stick-on type that depends on the wind blowing thru it doesn’t work, but I think I’ve found something that does work!
I saw an electronic deer whistle marketed by Kuryakyn at a Harley dealership and it sells for around $75. I bought one and put it on my ol’ StuporGlide shovelhead to give it a try. It’s a 12volt unit that emits a very faint high-pitched whistle when turned on.
One night, late, I was ridin’ home when I came around a corner and saw three deer standing right there in the middle of the road! Now, around here the deer will just stand there and look at you as if to say, “Who the hell are you?” But as soon as I came around the corner where they could hear the whistle, they bolted! They took off like they were scared shitless! I couldn’t believe it, one of these things actually worked.
It’s called the Hornet Deer Avoidance System. Recently I bought a Victory V92SC, SportCruiser and went looking for another. I found the exact same thing in the new Cabela’s catalog and here it sells for around $35. I have a whole new feeling of confidence when I ride here in the hills of Tennessee.
By the way, Bandit, you and I met when the Easyriders streamliner was on the Bonneville Salt flats. I was the one that had the watch that gave readings on the relative air density that helped the tuning.
Needs Tech Advice
I put a S&S 502 cam shaft in a 99 heritage springer .With only 9000 miles on it . And I only got 6 more horse power out of it . Before I put the cam in I had a dyna jet kit put in the carb , K&N filter , drilled the air box out and put a 46 slow jet and a 180 main jet . Plugs look good and it produced (54.9 horse power) with Samson straight fishtail pipes on stock head pipe and stock cam . Now it runs better with a 190 main jet but it still only produces 61.5 horse power on the dyno with this new cam . That is only a six horse power increase and I am very disappointed .
Also I changed the gearing from a 32 tooth pulley on tranny to a 29 tooth and also changed the wheel pulley from a stock 65 tooth to a 70 tooth pulley . Now the over all ratio is a 348 .Also have bumped the timing up and down till it starts and runs with out dead spots or hesitation. And screaming Eagle ignition module was installed. (was for a FLT originally has a tighter timing curve I was told from Bob Wood performance carbs . Pistons are stock 8.5 to 1. The S&S 502 cam was supposed to work with any head and Compression up to 9.25. It has a lift of .500 and an intake duration of 248 deg. at .53 and an exhaust duration of 254 deg.
If you have a solution please help me . Because my ol’ man is ready to set the motherfucker on fire he says and piss on it and take it to the scrap yard and have it crushed in to a block. So he can throw an orange and black checkered table cloth on it and have a pick nick on it. Help me before he goes and buys another bike he has not been happy since he sold his ?99 Road king Classic. I knew he was working backward when he went from 88 cu. inches twin cam motor to an 80 inch Evo.
I tried to tell him. We really like this bike. But it just will not perform like he feels it should. Upper 70`s to 80 horse power would make him happy I know. So if there is anything you can recommend that might help please let us know.
I responded and made some recommendations, but if you readers can add something, don?t hesitate.–Bandit
Special Report From Charlotte Agent
Check out www.easyridersroadhouse.com. My buddy “Montana Red” works for them. Check out the service dept. We are all getting together in Cinc’y next weekend. Be hangin out with Trock and also Tone from Green Bay, Wis.
Not much happing here. The Easy Rider show is at Charlotte this weekend. Not going though. Not into it. Working on my heads for the Buell. Got hold of some S3T saddle bags. Trying to get the Buell together for a summer trip out west. Montana/Idaho.
This is slowing the progress on the Flow Bench project. I do a little bit here and there on it when I can. Soon as you put a deadline on something like this, you fuck it up. I get a lot out of something like this just thinking it out and then making the parts for the damn thing. Brain therapy I figure.
Weather has been good here. The crew at the shop is doing well. New H-D dealership opened up by Lowes Speedway. Big place lot’s of money spent on this one.
My buddy K.C. Larry turned me onto a cool Norton site. They are out of Oregon?? Really cool stuff. Damn lost the address!!! I’ll get it later for you.
— Charlotte Paul
Bikernet Virus Alert
THE GEORGE BUSH Virus… (Causes your computer to think it won the election, even though the mother-board and father-board bought it.)
THE AL GORE Virus… (Causes your computer to just keep counting.)
THE CLINTON Virus… (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.)
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus… (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.)
THE LEWINSKY virus… (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.)
THE RONALD REAGAN virus… (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.)
THE JESSE JACKSON virus… (Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.)
THE MIKE TYSON virus… (Quits after two bytes.)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus… (Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200mb.)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus… (Deletes all old files.)
THE PROZAC virus… (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus… (Only attacks minor files.)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus… (Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.) and last but not least……………
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus… (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.)
Match Mate
Just imagine sitting in your car on your way to work and hearing this.
Many Ulladulla folks DID hear this on the Coast FM morning show in Ulladulla.
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called “Mate Match”. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone.
If the contestant answers “yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several days ago made the Town drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I’ve heard yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
DJ: “Hey! This is Graham on Coast FM. Have you ever heard of ‘MateMatch’?”
Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”
DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to , The Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.”
Contestant: “Brian.”
DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”
Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”
DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”
Brian: “Sara.”
DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”
Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”
DJ: “Okay, first question – when was the last time you had sex?”
Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
DJ: “Question #2 – How long did it last?”
Brian: “About 10 minutes.”
DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”
Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”
DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock this morning?”
Brian: (laughing hard) “I, ummm, I, well…”
DJ: “This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?”
Brian: “Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks…”
DJ: “Uh huh…”
Brian: “…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: “On the kitchen table.”
DJ: “Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.” (3 minutes of commercials follow.)
DJ: “Okay audience, let’s call Sara, shall we?” (touch tones…. ringing….)
Hello: “Kinkos.”
DJ: “Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?”
“That is me.”
DJ: “Sara this is Graham from Coast FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”
Sara: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”
DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘MateMatch’?”
Sara: “No.”
DJ: “Good!”
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”
Brian (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.”
DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions,Sara. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to The Gold Coast for 5 days on us. Movie World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic’s Castle. The whole deal. Get it Sara?”
Sara: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex,Sara?”
Sara: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”
DJ: “What time?”
Sara: “Around 8 this morning.”
DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”
Sara: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”
DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question,Sara. You are one question away from a trip to The Gold Coast. Are you ready?”
Sara: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Where did you have it?”
Sara: “OH MY GOD, Brian!! You didn’t tell them that, did you?”
Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”
DJ: “What is bothering you so much,Sara?”
Sara: “Well, it’s just that my mum is Staying with us and…”
DJ: Come on Sara…..where did you have it?
Sara: “Up the ass…..”
After a long pause, the DJ said, “Folks, we need to take a Commercial break…..”
Sunday Ride
It?s that time to get out if it?s not blowing snow all over your day. If it is get bundled and jump in the truck and go find her. Get a fire going in her fireplace, some candles lit and a couple of drinks bouncing around on frosty cubes. If she?s on top of it, that?s the way her place will be when you arrive with a bottle of her favorite booze. Get naked next to the fire and stay there all afternoon and evening.
Believe me, when your Monday begins you?ll wonder why you don?t spend every cold weekend like that. Now git!
Bandit.
