We don’t exactly know the date we launched the Cantina, or we’re still trying to find it, but goddamnit it’s a year old and we need to have a celebration. Bikernet just had the biggest month in our history as January closed with 1.9 million hits. It just goes to show that if you can get the boss to leave the country, you can make considerable progress.
Anyway, since we launched the Cantina it’s grown so much I can’t even remember all that we’ve put up. Hell the Soap Opera is up to 22 Chapters. There’s three books up and two more coming. There’s games that will keep you going on a day you can’t ride. Shortly were launching a whole new line-up of girls, and we might even go topless. Okay, so let’s get to the news:
Excelsior-Henderson Lives
www.superxowners.com
A Brothers’ Story
. A ‘brother’ of mine was nearly cleaned off the slate by an 80 year old leaving a bar (1 1/2 miles from her house). She took out him, his gal and his scoot. We were at MMI in Phx at the time. I took care of his per-verbal shit for 6 months till he got out of the hospital and rehab. This ol lady never lost a quarter in the deal! He didn’t finish school for another five years because of the legal bullshit that voc-rehab put him through. Now at 45, he’s starting all over again. (ever been to Lakeland H-D, Fla?)
–Bagger
THE CODE OF THE WEST– We here at Bikernet believe in the Code of The West, like stopping to help another rider with a busted chain in the pouring rain. It’s like a brother shelling out his or her last fifty bucks at a fund
Cincy V-Twin Dealer Show Report–
Talked to Billy Lane, he had cool bike there. Saw the “Edge” from the Horse. Talked some with the people from Joker Machine. Samson had some cool pipes for the V-Rod at their display.
Told Dennis Manning about Trock. He was very worried as the same type of surgery took his mom’s life. Also ran into Lee Clemens Met up with Rogue. By the way he flashed his “Bikernet” press credentials. We had a good conversation about stuff.
My buddy from Montana/Idaho made it out. The owner of the of the Easyrider store in Idaho where he works came along for the show. I found John Nassi for them at the awards show. He works at Big Dog. They sell Big Dog and Iron Horse bikes at the store. I found him thru. the crowd. I never forget a face. John use to work at Titan driving their truck around.
Weather was shitty here today. Freezing rain. Other than that SOS.
–Paul
Shotgun Hold-up
A Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, Because I don’t believe you are over 21. The robber Said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn’t believe him. At this point the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM “AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL”
– Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Beijing (AxisWire.com, 1/31/02) – Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the “Axis of Evil,” Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the “Axis of Just as Evil,” which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.
“Right. They are Just as Evil… in their dreams!” declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. “Everybody knows we’re the best evils… best at being evil… we’re the best.”
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
“They told us it was full,” said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
“An Axis can’t have more than three countries,” explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. “This is not my rule, it’s tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool.”
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush’s Axis of Evil declaration was swift, and within minutes France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a high stakes game of geopolitical chairs.
Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil. Meanwhile, Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren’t the Worst But Certainly Won’t Be Asked to Host the Olympics.
In a related development Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
“That’s not a threat, really, just something we like to do,” said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren’t perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in “Guay,” accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn’t want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that’s only because no one asked them.
That Is All, Back To Your Posts
My list of projects is growing. I need to plan the Cantina Anniversary Celebration, build a bike for Sturgis and finish a couple more books. More book projects are looming in the distance. Goddamnit, where’s that big titted agent when I need her.
Go for a ride and have a Jack on the Rocks for me.–Bandit
