February 8, 2002 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH – BIKERNET GETS 1.9 MILLION HITS

Bikernet has consistently been cutting edge, at least we’d like to think so. This weekly report is no different. We post it whether anyone likes it or not.

The flash for this week is that we are planning a bike for the Sturgis run this year. The first unique aspect of it is that I don’t have any idea of what I’m going to build. I need some input. Is there something I should be considering, or do I ride my dual-carbed ’48 Pan to the Badlands? That’s been a thought for a couple of years.

Bike building is just one of the unique things we do here at Bikernet. The other is that I’m planning this ride while on a rusting tramp freighter that just left Jakarta for Vietnam, then China. I promise not to buy any parts in China. So for the next couple of months, between rowing like a sonuvabitch to get home and chase Asian women, I’ll be planning the 2002 ride to the Badlands. Let’s see just how different we can make this ride.

Let’s get to the news:

THE CODE OF THE WEST–
We here at Bikernet believe in the Code of the West, like stopping in the pouring rain to help another rider with a busted chain. Or like a brother shelling out his last $50 at a fund raiser for a downed rider or another brother whose kid’s got cancer… and then stickin’ around with them long after the sponsored ride, to share the pain and emotion, the ups and downs, the frustration and visits from bill collectors.

These are the rites of brotherhood. This is the fabric that binds true brothers and sisters together… ties that can’t be broken for any reason.

Though hard to find, keepers of the code are still out there, drifting through the morning fog across farmlands to the north or occasionally in the high country to the east. The lighthouse keepers of the code know that when life catches up to us too fast, that wind over the handle bars is the best cure… and that those who can’t ride are still with us, in our thoughts and memories, as we roll out the miles.

The code is in the wind, for the downed riders to feel with every breeze that finds them…

The men who made the code are the ones who know chipped paint and scuffed clear coats are just another excuse to call a brother or two for a long putt… The paint can wait for January’s overhaul…

The custodian of the code knows that a dinged chrome headlamp ring can tell more stories than most books. In the code it is written that fresh air, fresh coffee and the love of a good woman can relieve that crick in your neck caused by a brisk ride in the fog; that the best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome, and that rolled up chaps make a fine pillow in a dewy meadow.

The code says that a match book cover is a plug and points gauge, when used correctly… That beer cans could be used to pass gas from a full tank to an empty one and that cable ties and baling wire are as much a part of a tool pouch as a crescent wrench. In the code it is written that freedom is always in jeopardy… Only riders with heart will keep it alive.

It’s all part of the Code of the West, the never-say-die mentality that keeps us going no matter what.

Keep yer eyes along the skyline and yer nose in the wind!

–Bagger762

barmaid

NEW SPEED TRAP ADVICE– A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained anotherpicture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Bikernet Caribbean Report

The trivia will be postponed until next week. I’ve got a wisdom tooth coming up and I really don’t feel like writing much. I betyou guys understand.

It’s been same old, same old on the island. Coamo came and went, most of theriders enjoyed the tropical weather and unforgiving showers. Such is lifein the Caribbean. It can rain for 5 minutes or five days. A friend of ours from Sweden sent me an e-mail asking about the Weasels andthose little notes I leave at the end of these reports.Like I’ve said before, it has nothing to do with the club. Weasels are thosesketchy characters who own shops and live by lying and putting down othersand their work. (I do this because I know some of our local Weasels checkthis out for info. On this tiny island there?s enough weasels for alifetime. Lucky enough, most of them vanish into history pretty quick andtheir lies are nothing more than lies.) By reading Your Shot I havelearned of Weasels from all over, and I have a message for them…Fuck off

caribbean

I?m gonna kiss some major butt here but I think that Layla and Digital aredoing an awesome job while Bandit is living the world- traveling life.Congrats to the Bikernet crew.

Keep your eyes peeled, there’s talk of some new projects by Discovery andJesse James for Summer….remember you heard it here first.

Next week the Indy dealer show will take place, so that means that we willbe able to report on all the new goodies out there, plus see some oldfriends. If Bandit were here we would surely meet to have lunch, at least,but he’s not so lunch is on me.

Maybe I’m not making much sense right now (let’s blame it on the painkillers). The projects are delayed a bit and I keep promising to post them;maybe for next week we will be able to do so. Also, the nakkid chix photosare not flying thru the censors, but we will keep trying. Oh well…..seeya guys next week.

Jose Bikernet Caribbean

ARTIST PROGRESS REPORT– We’re going to have a booth at Laughlin. Chris Kallas justfinished another painting and we’re going to get it printed for sales therealong with everything else. I’m not sure if he told you, there was an articleon him in the January issue of V-Twin. Got a couple calls from it, one from a guywith an online motorcycle art gallery and another from a woman who wants her husband’sbike painted for a Valentine’s Day gift. We’re doing hot rod culture showstoo, but still working hard on the bike stuff. Chris and Nancy

Check out the man’s fine art right here on Bikernet, under Special Reports.Custom Chrome

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Who Said Rednecks Ain’t Too Bright?

“Hello, is this the FBI?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

“I’m calling to report about my neighbor Billy BobSmith. He ishiding marijuana inside his firewood.”

“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, the FBI agents descend on BillyBob’s house. Theysearch the shed where the firewood is kept. Usingaxes, they bustopen every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They swore at Billy Bob and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob’s house.

“Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?”

“Yeah!”

“Did they chop your firewood?”

“Yep.”

“Merry Christmas buddy.”

berry & rogue
Rogue the roving Bikernet reporter and friend. Rogue is responsible for a lot of the jokes and images you see on Bikernet. If you see him on the streets, give him a good swift kick for us, will ya? Just jokin?, we love you Rogue!

This is a great “true love story”…..

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy was busily working when a new voice came over the public address system asking for a carryout at checkout register 4.

As he approached the check-out stand, a smile caught his eye; the new check out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26; he was only 22).

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card: Brenda.

Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough so she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn’t possible. He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn’t afford a babysitter. He offered to pay for the babysitter. She reluctantly accepted his offer for a date the following Saturday.

That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The babysitter had called and canceled. Kurtis replied: “Well, let’s take the kids with us.”

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Finally, Brenda brought him inside to meet her children. She had a cute older daughter. Then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic, with Down’s syndrome.

Kurtis told Brenda, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us.”

Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one was disabled. Her prior husband, the father of the kids, had done that.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids and went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything, Kurtis took care of him. When he needed to use the rest room, Kurtis picked him up out of his chair.

Brenda’s children loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children.

Since then they have added two more children.

So what happened to the stock boy and check out girl?

Mr. and Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in St. Louis, where he plays quarterback for the St. Louis Rams. Kurt won the NFL Most Valuable Player Award this year. He was quarterback for the Rams in Sunday’s Super Bowl game.

I love this story!

Continued On Page 2

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