Hey,
Another strange day in Paradise. I’m shifting gears trying to find Nirvana and two wheels. Good life is all a state of mind. You can get pissed that she ran off, or celebrate your freedom. You can be upset when something happens to your bike, or celebrate. Now you can build something new and super cool.
I’m trying to figure out how to eliminate projects. I feel it’s time. I’m going to donate my Bonneville Bikes and some art to the Sturgis Museum. We are trying to help them move their fund raising effort forward for museum expansion.
As younger bikers we had one scooter, one bottle of whiskey, and all the time in the world to party. Need to get a taste of that back. Let’s hit the news.
NEWS FROM THE RED ROCK IN LAS VEGAS–Inknown Industries Stunt Riders Event.
Unknown Industries must be coming to Las Vegas for fight weekend. Let Red Rock Harley-Davidson be your home for pre-fight entertainment on May 2nd.
The guys from Unknown industries are bringing tons of riders from Southern California to show off the best tricks in the sport of stunt riding and it’s all FREE!!!
Smashing Alice will be performing live on stage starting at 11am and the stunt show begins at noon. Plenty of food trucks on site, an outdoor beer garden, and tons of great giveaways…you’re not going to want to miss this! Check out what all the hype is about at http://unknownindustries.com/
BIKERNET BAD JOKE LIBRARY OPEN ON EASTER–Costco Doctor
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
“My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies
“There’s a new diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars – A lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample…. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.”
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good
measure.
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
“1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4.. Your wife is pregnant with Twins. They aren’t yours… Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!”
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!
–from Jim Waggaman
http://video.weibo.com/show?fid=1034:4fb153c58d835edacee289ebcecd1230&type=mp4&from=timeline&isappinstalled=0
APP OF THE WEEK IN THE CANTINA—
–from Rodan
REPORT FROM OUR AFRICAN BUREAU–Nigeria is the biggest economy in Africa. Bigger than South Africa.
Let us all hang our heads in shame. These people in traumatized Nigeria invested in their own nation and believed in the nation and have made billions fairly. This is not a Forbes list. It includes only entrepreneurs. Not any politician who simply becomes rich in such impoverished nations without any contribution to society.
Compare this to the many “American” companies who are incorporated off shore, have their accounts and transactions offshore to evade tax and then outsource production and manpower as well.
http://www.mytopbusinessideas.com/richest-people-in-nigeria/
Best Wishes,
Ujjwal Dey
~ www.IQmind.org
S&S OFFERING FREE PIPE INSTALLS AT THE FOLLOWING EVENTS—In support of the new S&S exhaust systems, it work out like gangbusters in Daytona, so hang on for more opportunities at major events throughout 2015.
EVENTS 2015 Installs
Event Dates Event Type Event Name Location
Oct. 16-19, 2014 Rally Biktoberfest Daytona Beach, FL
Mar. 25-29, 2015 Rally Arizona Bike Week Scottsdale, AZ
April 22-26, 2015 Rally Laughlin River Run Laughlin, NV
June 13-21, 2015 Rally Laconia Bike Week Laconia, NH
Aug. 3-9, 2015 Rally Sturgis Rally Sturgis, SD
Sept. 9-13, 2015 Rally Delmarva Bike Week Ocean City, MD
Oct. 15-18 2015 Rally Biketoberfest Daytona Beach, FL?
–Ken Conte
ken@riseaboveconsulting.com
BIKERNET UNIVERSITY EASTER EGG WORD OF THE DAY—Panoply: PAN-uh-plee
noun
1. a wide-ranging and impressive array or display: the dazzling panoply of the maharaja’s procession; the panoply of European history.
2. a complete suit of armor.
Quotes
A building like 135 Duane, with its panoply of enterprises, had its idiosyncrasies but nonetheless conformed to the prevailing narrative.
— Colson Whitehead, Zone One, 2011
Origin
Panoply entered English in the late 1500s, and comes from the Greek word panoplía, meaning “a full complement of arms and armor.”
MOTORCYCLE RIDERS FOUNDATION Washington Weekly Updates–
President Obama released his draft of the highway bill this week. What should have been big news was just a rehash of his hated highway bill from last year. The name did not even change, merely getting a “2.0” added. GROW AMERICA ACT 2.0 is expected to get the same chilly reception on Capitol Hill as “1.0” did last year.
The most troubling aspect of the bill is the provision that would “allow the Secretary or his designee to engage in activities with States and State legislators to consider proposals related to motorcycle helmet laws.”
This is a direct attack on the NHTSA lobby ban enacted in the late nineties. NHTSA was banned from lobbying state legislatures. This would undo the ban completely, allowing NHTSA to show up anytime, anywhere to argue for helmet laws. In my communications with NHTSA, I was told by a senior advisor to look from the perspective that “perhaps some of the proposals could be to relax helmet laws.”
I think we all know the likelihood of a NHTSA official showing up to testifying in favor of a proposal to allow for adult choice of helmet use. You know where would have to freeze solid first.
Another part of the proposed bill would send money to states to set up tiered or graduated licensing. I am not too worried about this draft. Congress has already turned its back on the legislation.
We also reintroduced the Senate black box privacy bill. S 766 would declare the vehicle owner as the owner of the information captured on an event data recorder (EDR) in their car or motorcycle, sponsored again by Senators John Hoeven (R-ND) and Amy Kloubchar (D-MN). A House bill is coming soon.
Both the House and Senate are in recess this week so there are no hearings or legislative actions.
–From Jeff Hennie
Motorcycle Rider Foundation, Vice President Government Relations and Public Affairs
BRAND New Bikernet Reader Comment!–
2015 RoadGlide Windscreen Shootout
http://www.bikernetbaggers.com/pages/story_detail.aspx?id=12928
This article was just what I needed to make up my mind to buy the Windvest. Now will it be a 10 or 12 inch?
–Darrell Lee
dlee45@triad.rr.com
THOMASVILLE, NC
EASTER EGG GUN NUT REPORT–Governor Brownback Signs NRA-Backed Permitless Carry Legislation Into Law–
Fairfax, Va. – The National Rifle Association’s Institute for Legislative Action (NRA-ILA) applauds Kansas Governor Sam Brownback for today signing into law Senate Bill 45, NRA-backed legislation that expands Kansas permitless open carry to included permitless concealed carry.
“On behalf of the NRA’s five-million members, we want to thank Governor Brownback and Senate Majority Leader Terry Bruce for their leadership on this critical issue,” said Chris W. Cox, Executive Director of the NRA-ILA. “This new law is a common sense measure that allows law-abiding Kansans to exercise their fundamental right to self-protection in the manner that best suits their needs.”
Kansans already have the right to carry a firearm openly without a permit, as long as they are not prohibited by law from possessing a firearm. However, under current law, if a firearm becomes covered by a coat or if a woman prefers to carry a firearm for protection in her purse, he or she would need a concealed carry handgun license.
The new law simply extends permitless open carry to permitless concealed carry, allowing law-abiding gun owners to protect themselves and their loved ones in the manner that best suits their needs. Kansas’ permitting system remains the same under the new law. People who obtain permits still enjoy the reciprocity agreements that Kansas has with other states.
The bill passed the legislature with overwhelming support despite efforts by billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s out-of-state gun control lobbyist to defeat the legislation through a misinformation campaign.
In the three states that have adopted permitless carry laws similar to Kansas’ law, murder rates have gone down; declining by 23 percent in Alaska, 16 percent in Arizona, and eight percent in Wyoming.
Be sure to follow the NRA on Facebook at NRA on Facebook and Twitter @NRA.
EVEN ON EASTER THE BIKERNET BAD JOKE LIBRARY IS OPEN–*The Lemon Squeezer!!!*
At a bar in New York City the bartender was so sure that he was the strongest man around, that he offered a Standing $1000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then hand the lemon to the patron.
Anyone who could squeeze two more drops of juice out of it, would win the money.
Over the years, many people had tried…..
Weightlifters, longshoremen, etc., but nobody had ever been able to do it.
One day, a scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. He sat down, ordered a glass of beer, and started looking around the bar.
After reading the sign on the wall about the lemon challenge, he said in a small voice:
“I was just reading your sign, and I’d like to try the bet.”
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said:
“Ok….”
He grabbed a lemon and squeezed all the juice he could out of it…
Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow.
But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence….
As the man clenched his little fist around the lemon….
And six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the guy his $1000, and then asked:
“Do you mind if I ask what do you do for a living?
Are you a lumber jack, a weight-lifter, or what?”
The little fellow quietly replied:
“I work for Internal Revenue Service!!!”
–Rik Savenko
THE CHOPPERTOWN REPORTS NEW DOWNLOADS–As promised, we got four new download titles in the store! This Biker Movie Sunday the Born Free movie is just $5 to download and the DVD is only $15. What a gathering of amazing craftsmen and their skoots!
HINT: We usually leave the sale running a couple of extra days so if you visit the site on Monday or Tuesday you can probably still take advantage of the special sale price.
“Cool bikes, cool people, a must for us that can’t be there.”
~Micke verified buyer
BIKERNET BAD JOKE LIBRARY OPENS NEW CATEGORY–
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators…YEP!!!
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument..
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man can forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
–Ann Marie Shyer
ashyer@abletronics.com
–from Jim Waggaman
GUN NUT REPORTS KEEP COMING–D.C. Gives Up Defending Total Ban on Carrying Firearms, Shifts to Defense of Near-Total Ban–On April 2, the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit granted the D.C.’s motion to voluntarily dismiss an appeal of the ruling that held the District’s ban on carrying a firearm outside the home for self-defense was unconstitutional. The District’s decision not to continue the appeal ends one of the last outright bans on carrying firearms in the United States.
While this marks the end of the District’s total ban, those wishing to lawfully carry firearms in D.C. still have a long way to go before all law-abiding individuals have a legal means of exercising their right to bear arms in the District. Shortly after the ban was held unconstitutional last July, the D.C. council adopted a temporary law that makes it all but impossible to get a license to carry a concealed pistol. A nearly identical version of that temporary law is still in effect, and a permanent version is under review by Congress and set to become law on May 30.
Plaintiffs in the case have attempted to enjoin the newly enacted D.C. carry law as contrary to the court’s order that required D.C. to create a licensing system that complies with the Second Amendment, but the court has yet to rule on the injunction. Perhaps the best hope for recognition of the right to bear arms in the District was introduced in Congress last week by U.S. Senator Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and U.S. Representative Jim Jordan (R-Ohio). “The Second Amendment Enforcement Act of 2015” includes a “shall-issue licensing” system that would only allow the District to deny a license to individuals who fail a background check or who do not satisfy other objective criteria.
Please contact your U.S. Senators and U.S. Representative and urge them to cosponsor and support “The Second Amendment Enforcement Act of 2015.”
You can contact your U.S. Senators and U.S. Representative by phone at (202) 224-3121 or by using our “Write Your Lawmakers” tool at www.NRAILA.org.
A TRIBUTE TO THE PERFECT SHAPE OF EASTER EGGS—The Bikernet Editorial Board decided to pay a special tribute to Easter with the following:
You’ve heard of “Hump Day,” but now there’s also a “Rump Day.”—
–Jay Martinez
JCM Unlimited Inc.
THE BIKERNET ADAGE LIBRARY IS STILL OPEN–
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don’t have a sense of humor you probably don’t have any sense at all.
4. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
5. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
6. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
7. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
8. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
9. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
10. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
11. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m.
for example, it could be the right number.
12. No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
13. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
14. Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a VW.
15. Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind and the ones that mind don’t matter.
16. Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift.
And
REMEMBER….
“POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON”
–from William DiSalvo, Sr.
LET’S PARTY, IT’S EASTER—Let’s see. What the hell are we facing next week and it’s starting with a bang. Holidays are interesting. Try to relax, because the shit that wasn’t accomplished on the day off gets shifted to the next day. Hang on.
We have 5-Ball Racing Leather meeting scheduled, and a Wilmington Waterfront meeting. I’m getting new glass for a patio table and negotiating on another mural effort for the side of the building.
We have a Kawasaki bobber feature headed your way, and I’m working on our Progressive and CV carb techs. Plus I’m working on new Cantina episode. I was focused on enabling but another topic entered the Cantina. It will blow your mind.
Damn, and Ray Wheeler is on the road with NG1 exhaust systems for trucks. They are built for pre-emission trucks and they boost power and fuel mileage significantly. But that leaves me to ship out Dumb and Dumber winner packs. We have three headed out the door, then we will start giving away Unbroken DVDs next week.
So, hang on for another action packed week at the Bikernet Freedom Fighters Headquarters.
Ride Free Forever,
–Bandit
