The party crept on into the night. I thought about Coral and Layla and women chasing women while I sipped Jack and watched drug deals go down in the dark hallway leading to the wet parking lot full of early-’80s dented sedans. I was on the wrong side of the tracks.
After a night to remember, I fired up my computer this morning and didn’t receive one e-mail. The junk mail has been on over-load. I’ve received no less than 150 e-mail a day for a month. Over 70 percent has been junk, now nothing this morning, not zip. If Sin wasn’t so hung over and sexually worn out, I’d head back to the bedroom and stay there. Here’s the non-news:
Season’s Greetings
The nuclear Aircraft Carrier, U.S.S. Harry S. Truman, CVN 75 and the ships in her Battle Group got underway from Norfolk, Va. this morning for an extended deployment. Just as the lines were cast off, this announcement was made throughout the ship on the ships intercom(1mc):
“Peace on Earth to all men of good will; All others, Stand By”
–from Bob T.
Cantina Literary Seminar–
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of this year’s winning entries: 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
–Nuttboy
PHOTOGRAPHY
A window on the war Catherine Leroy is one of the band of fearless freelance photographers who brought home the action in Vietnam.
By Susan Freudenheim, Times Staff Writer
A Marine hunches over the body of his fallen comrade, both hands on the wounded man’s chest — giving comfort, checking for a heartbeat or stanching the flow of blood. A cigarette, burned almost to the filter, remains clenched between his teeth, left over from the peace of a moment ago. His gun still in its holster across his back, he looks up through the mesh of tall grass that hides the enemy. His eyes are thick with fear, anger, defiance. Below, the wounded man touches his rescuer’s arm, face turned up, lips open. He may be talking. Who knows now?
This scene was recorded in Vietnam in 1967 by Catherine Leroy, in a photograph that evokes all that is ugly and heroic in war. Leroy snapped the image lying on her stomach in an overgrown rice paddy near the Demilitarized Zone, where she, too, was hiding from the enemy. In as much danger as the men she was traveling with, she did not stop for fear. She was a photojournalist, and it was her job to crawl into the action and document it.
In an age when technology has allowed Americans to fight their wars from a distance, Leroy, a petite Frenchwoman who risked her life on the front lines, is here to remind us what ground combat really looks like. In her early 20s she bore witness to the death of American idealism in Vietnam, shooting photo after photo of bloody battles in which dying men fought to save their dignity in the face of unrelenting misery. More than three decades later, Leroy’s photographs show us that war is not comfortable. It is unbearably sad and becomes heroic only in the retelling. The rawness of her imagery is shocking, an in-your-face truth that came of access to action the U.S. military now deftly keeps off limits to journalists.
Disseminating images of the Vietnam conflict has become an obsession for Leroy, and to that end she has created a Web site, “Under Fire: Images From Vietnam” (http://www.pieceuniquegallery.com). The site offers for sale Leroy’s classic works, along with those of 10 of her friends and colleagues — among them revered Vietnam photographers Tim Page, Henri Huet, Gilles Caron and Dick Swanson. The images are supplemented by biographical material and interviews, either with the photographer or, in the case of those who died on the job, with friends and co-workers. Links to other Web sites direct visitors to histories of the era, late ’60s rock recordings, updates on current Vietnam veterans’ issues and more. A portion of the proceeds from sales on the site will be donated to the Vietnam Veterans Assistance Fund.
This is why the women should lock up all there ” personal toys “…………
–from Bob T.
The Sunday Ozark Romance Report
You knew she would find out. so did I. I took my woman to this party with the gobs I work with on Wednesday. I felt safe because nobody in this crowd knows any of my friends or the juvee girl. I had talked to Kitzo, Titty bar Mike, and Phillip about my girl not knowing juvee rode with me in the parade. I thought I was home free.
We went to the party at this yuppie bar and got hammered. There’s a guy at my work who is red hot for my girl and he treats her like a queen. He was taking care of her at this party and she ended up drinking two bottles of wine. I knew she was pissed when we left because the air was thick in the car. She was talking to me and telling me how yuppie dude was making progress with her. I was nervous because I know he isn’t making progress. She hates those yuppie guys.
So anyway, I was nervous when we got home. We went in and she started telling me how drunk she was. I sat down and when I looked up, she was coming at my throat with a big old steak knife. I grabbed her arm at the last minute and took the knife from her and asked her what the fuck. She started reeling off shit at me about “that bitch on my bike”. Dammit, I convinced her it was innocent and that Phillip’s girl had asked me to pack her. She said some shit about Phillip’s girl and how she would get even with her too. She has been nice ever since.
Worried? Hell, fucking yes, I am. God only knows what she’s got planned but you can bet your ass she ain’t letting this one go as easy as the last time I got busted with the juvenile. I’m staying away from her for a while. On a bright note, I’m not bored anymore.
–Ozark Ed
Sometimes all the whoop-la, tension and young flesh is all part of the treacherous thrill. Watch out!
E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.
TORONTO DISCOVERY
Early December the motorcycle show here introduced some motorcycles never before seen by our northern neighbors. Aprilia and Benelli made their debut in Canada.
The 1000 cc Caponord is the Italian company’s first motorcycle to be sold in Canada. This tourer will give Suzuki’s V-Strom a run for it’s money.
Benelli’s 900cc Tornado is a hot one with 140 hp. This with many other makes and models made this the motorcycle “show of shows” for Canada this year.
This bit was taken from the Gunny’s Sack which will run in it’s entirety in the Bikernet Rights section today—-hopefully. It’s sponsored by AIM.
Inside News From The North Pole
A beautiful innocent young lady wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, “Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away.”
Santa replies, “HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, “Oh Santa, don’t run a mile; just stay for a while…”
Santa begins to sweat but replies, “HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”
The girl takes off her bra and says, “Oh Santa… Please… Stay.”
Santa wipes his brow but replies, “HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know.”
She loses the panties and says, “Oh Santa… Plea! se… Stay….”
Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, “HEY HEY HEY, Gotta stay, Gotta stay, Can’t get up the chimney with my pecker this way!!!”
–from Rev. CarlR
Cantina Medical Investigation
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say “Your daughter is pregnant.”
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, “Quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying attention to me?”
“Yes, of course I am paying attention ma’am. It’s just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again.”
–from Chris T.
The Cantina Blonde Archives
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.
The Game Warden comes up behind them and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde.
“Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden.
“But Officer,” replied the second blonde, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.
“Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden, “take all the debris you want.” And with that, the Game Warden left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.
“What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second blonde said to the other two, “doesn’t he know that there are steelhead in this river?!”
I’m Outta Jack
It’s just about noon and I need to pump some Iron. I didn’t drink last night, just watched the action with fascination until I could get the action home and in bed. After my workout I may post another report on the Florida Toy Run event that’s pictured above. Here’s a shot of broad behind the bomb scare. Hang on.
According to reports from the front, there’s severe weather up north that preventing e-mail from getting through. There’s two broads banging on the front door. Catch ya later.
–Bandit
