Couldn’t be a better day in so many respects. Last night rocked with a warm Holiday dinner with good friends in a home built in the mid ’20s. The food and folks were perfect reminders of what Christmas stands for. Earlier in the day we hit the Moon Eyes hot rod Christmas Party and the International Cycle Show in Long Beach.
Both were good times. The night’s icing on the cake was a long warm sex-filled evening with Sin Wu. As far as I’m concerned I’ve already had one Christmas.
Commandos responsible for Saddam’s capture.
I woke up this morning to news of Saddam’s capture south of his home town. Hiding in a tunnel he was armed but didn’t put up a fight. He’s under arrest, in custody and can’t go down as a martyr. For once, maybe, he’ll pay like a common criminal who tortured an entire country for 30 years. Congratulation fighting men and women of the US in Iraq. Now just pick up Osama and terrorist sails with be windless forever more.
Custom Softail by Cobra at Long Beach Show.
Helluva day, let’s hit the news:
Rivera Velocity Stacks
Velocity stacks increase the speed of the air flowing into the carburetor(s). This additional air speed enhances the atomization of the fuel. The increased air speed also improves the ability of the cylinders to fill more completely before the intake valve closes.
Rivera Engineering velocity stack kits include two different size screens (four screens total) to aid with the tuning process while keeping large foreign objects out of the intake tract. Velocity stacks are sculpted from aircraft quality billet aluminum and show-chromed.
RE-0022 VELOCITY STACK kit for DRM & DM dual Mikuni carburetor kits.
Rivera Engineering, Inc.
12532 Lambert Road
Whittier, CA 90606
Tel: (562) 907-2600 Fax: (562) 907-2606
Cantina Love Making Advice
Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, “Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?”
Robert replied, “That’s because I make love to my wife every morning before work.”
Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning.
“That’s easy,” Robert said. “I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it!”
“It goes like this: Blond hair, blond hair, eyes so blue I love waking up and making love to you!”
Tyrone said, “Man, you white guys are so damn sentimental.” But he decided it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day thinking! Of a poem for his wife.
The next day Tyrone showed up to work just beat to hell; bruised eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works!!!
Robert asked, “Man, what happened! To you?!”
Tyrone said, “I don’t know, man. I went home and tried your advice. I just told her a poem.”
Well, what poem did you tell her? Tyrone said:
“Nappy head, nappy head, and eyes like a frog. If I could roll your fat ass over, I’d hump you like a dog!”
–from Chris T.
The Harley Davidson RC Motorcycles Are Here…
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Bikers Get Off
Charges have tossed by a Prince George judge against two men connected to motorcycle gangs because the RCMP used excessive force in arresting them.
The men had been charged with assault and obstructing police after an incident at a downtown Prince George bar last summer. They were pepper-sprayed after being restrained.
In a written ruling, Judge Randy Walker described one RCMP officer as having a “wild west mentality.” The officer’s actions were “unnecessary, excessive, gratuitous, and unprofessional.”
Defence lawyer Don Kennedy said police can’t be allowed to use a different set of rules with members of motorcycle clubs.
Kennedy says he’s been involved in at least six cases in recent years where judges have thrown out charges because of the behaviour of local police.
–Rogue
Mexican Wish
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, “Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want.”
The Mexican begins thinking, “Well, I really like drinking tequila.” Finally the Mexican says, “I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila.” The Genie grants him his wish.
When the Mexican gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it’s clear. Looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So, he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, “Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly!”
She comes running down the hall and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila. Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night. The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two glasses. The result is the same, the tequila is excellent and the couple drinks until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife, “Consuelo grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila.”
His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass and when he fills it, his wife asks him,
“But Pancho, why do we need only one glass? Pancho raised the glass and says, “Because tonight mi amor, you drink from the bottle. ”
–from Chris T.
World Of Wheels Comin’
Here is a flyer I need to get out and if anyone wants to enter there MC in the custom Bike show it is only $25.00 dollars. Can you please post it? Check out our web site that goes along with the Arizona Biker Information Guide I will list your web site under biker links… Thank You & Have a Wonderful Day Check Out our Web Site: http://www.bikerinformationguide.com Bad Cop– Cop up on sexual charges South Carolina – A former Marion County sheriff’s deputy was arrested Monday in Dillon County and charged with intent to commit criminal sexual conduct in the second degree. Ron Christopher Roberts, 34, of U.S. Highway 501 North in Dillon County, was booked at the Dillon County Jail and later released on a $10,000 bond, Dillon County Sheriff Harold Grice said. According to the arrest warrant released Monday afternoon by the State Law En-forcement Division, Roberts “grabbed the victim about the head and attempted to forcefully remove her clothing.” The warrant indicates the incident occurred Nov. 19 at a residence in the Latta area of Dillon County. The victim filed an incident report with the Dillon County Sheriff’s Office the following day. The woman told the investigators that she met Roberts that day on U.S. Highway 301 and followed him back to a residence under the pretense that she was going to sign up for a pre-paid legal service through him and his wife. The then-Marion County sheriff’s sergeant was not on duty at the time. The woman told authorities that when she reached the residence, the deputy’s wife was not there and the house was virtually empty. Once inside, she alleges the deputy grabbed her and tried to kiss her while pulling on her shirt. According to the report, the woman struggled, then managed to get away. The woman told authorities that she left the residence and told her mother about what had happened. She filed the incident report at the sheriff’s office. Under South Carolina law, intent to commit criminal sexual conduct in the second degree is defined as an attempt to commit sexual battery through aggravated coercion, rather than by aggravated force as in first degree criminal sexual conduct. Roberts, who had been with the Marion County Sheriff’s Office for about two years, was fired last week soon after the allegations surfaced. –Rogue Hot trinket at Moon Eyes Show. Looking For An Engine I am looking for some product. If in stock I’ll purchase the following item : S&S 113 Cubic Inch Fully Polished Motor Qty : 1 pcs Please give me all of information about your products that available at this time and ready to ship to my country . And please calculate the total amount including shipping and handling using fedex (overnight) or ups next day air. About the payment method i’m ready to pay with my credit card (Visa and MasterCard). Looking forward to hearing good news from you. Thanks Todd Beck Santa’s Stressin’ Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip…but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the door bell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: “Where would you like to put this tree fat man?” And that my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree. Brenda owns a duece. Lowered Duece Info I’m purchasing a 2004 Harley Davidson Duece. Any Harley dealershipI ask about a lowering kit on a duece, they tell me no lowering kit will work.I saw your section on Lowering your Duece and I see it is a factory Low Profile kit. My question to you is does this system line up like a factory suspension? I want to have the lowered look but don’t want to sacrifice the warranty or possible damage to the frame or swing arm. My thought is if it said” except Duece” in the catalog they don’t want to recommend it for legal responsibility. If you could give me advice – Thanks! Pablo responds– I have used Arlen Ness’s lowering kit and White Bros makes one. When you do this the ride goes all to hell. I wouldn’t Slam it any lower than 1″. Any more and it’s like ridin a hard tail. Most customers come back and complain about the ride!! The Mr. John Cartner told me once ” You gotta be Tuff if your gonna be Dumb”. –Pablo HA Drug Charges Federal prosecutors will argue before a jury Tuesday that the president of a Calvert County Hells Angels motorcycle club sold drugs to other bikers at the group’s clubhouse and illegally possessed firearms. John A. Beal is to stand trial in U.S. District Court in Greenbelt on charges of distributing cocaine, distributing and conspiring to distribute methamphetamine and being a felon in possession of firearms and ammunition. It is the first prosecution of a Southern Maryland Hells Angel since the group formed a chapter in North Beach in January. Beal, a 37-year-old tattoo artist from Dunkirk, was released on bond just before Thanksgiving. He has been ordered under house arrest and is monitored by electronic surveillance equipment, said defense attorney Joshua R. Treem. Hall, a 34-year-old auto body shop owner, is charged with illegally possessing a gun and distributing methamphetamines to undercover agents from the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Treem said Hall was negotiating with prosecutors to plead guilty and could not testify until a plea agreement is struck. Beal, Hall and another local Hells Angel were arrested July 24 by federal agents during simultaneous raids in six states on biker clubs. During the day, the agents witnessed Beal sell 1/8 of an ounce of cocaine to two Warlocks for $175 in the clubhouse, according to the affidavit. The agents also say Beal offered them marijuana for sale and put them in touch with Hall, who allegedly pledged to help them buy about $5,000 worth of methamphetamine. The drug deal fell through, according to the documents. Treem said James McClung, a West Virginia Warlock who allegedly bought cocaine from Beal, would be a witness for the prosecution. Beal faces up to 70 years in prison if convicted on all counts, although Treem said the actual sentence would be much lighter because of federal sentencing guidelines. –Rogue New Custom Honda from Long Beach Show. Sunday Cantina Intellect Q: What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for? Q: Why did God give men penises? Q: What is an Australian kiss? Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms? Q: Why can’t you trust a woman? Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women? Q: What’s the speed limit of sex? Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? –from Rogue Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and…… Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get me Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells… –from BBBlehead Moon Eyes Old School Pan. Thank God It’s Not Friday One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, “Why so glum?” The guy responded, “What do you think? I’m in hell!” “Hell’s not so bad,” the demon said. “We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?” “Sure,” the man said, “I love to drink.” “Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!” The guy is astounded. “Damn, that sounds great.” “You a smoker?” the demon asked. “You better believe it!” “You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You’re already dead, remember?” “Wow, the guy said, “that’s awesome!” The demon continued. “I bet you like to gamble.” “Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.” “Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you’re dead anyhow. You into drugs?” The guy said, “Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don’t mean . . .” “That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you’re dead, who cares!” “Wow, the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, “I never realized Hell was such a cool place!” The demon said, “You gay?” “No.” “Ooooh, you’re gonna hate Fridays.” –from Chris T. Hope all your presents arrive on time–from Bob T. Whatta Day–Sorta gloomy on the coast. Too much shit on my plate, but I’m plannin’ to relax sometime, goddamnit. I’m out to the garage shortly. Need to clean up some welds on the FXR frame. It’s going to paint tomorrow. Moon Eyes cuties. I want to wish everyone a pleasant holiday. This has been a strange and stressful year for so many. With the capture of Saddam, let’s hope Iraq can begin to feel and enjoy democracy at last. Maybe with Osama captured Afganistan will feel the same and the middle east will sense a vast unity affording them prosperity, freedom and reduced strife. It’s all possible. Maybe next year we’ll see Motorcycle Right-of-Way laws passed and the US will be a safer place to ride. Damn, I’m looking forward to next year. In the meantime, enjoy the holidays. –Bandit
–God Bless, Kimmy Chapman ( Owner )
Office: 623-334-1545
Cell: 602-708-3024 E-mail: Kimmy@bikerinformationguide.com 
A: Its Braille for “suck here”.
A: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
A: It is the same as a French kiss, but only down under.
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die?
A: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
A: They don’t have balls to scratch. 
