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The competition has changed, expanded. Can home-built choppers fly to Sturgis? Can Jesse James build a chop and actually ride it, with all his tools, mechanics, equipment, lathes, milling machines, and money? Can Billy Lane from Choppers Inc. build a bike by hand while wanton women dance seductively around him daily in him Maimi based studio. Can two crazed fools from Bikernet build two chops in a small San Pedro garage with limited tools and no cash and make it to the Badlands? Another builder has entered the competition, Japanese Jay from the local motorcycle shop, Station 34 in San Pedro. He’s building a rat Shovelhead, I think.
While we’re damned low on time and still trying to recover property from West Coast Choppers, we’ve decided to get together two running choppers and ride them proudly to Sturgis. We’ve called in all our heavy clients, folks like RevTech, Weerd Bros., and Custom Chrome, Baker, Paughco frames, Headwinds, Harley-Davidson, and put them abreast of our situation and we’re receiving outstanding support as always. Our new goal for the Chop-off 2000, is to race to Sturgis, with back tire fires and heads full of fresh Jack on our custom, hand-built machines. Bandit and I are going back to our roots, building our own scoots, with our own hands, the way we like ’em, fast and simple, no bullshit, no backing out. These will be independence choppers, American-style, no bullshit politics, attitude, downtime, and loss of parts. We just want to ride. As for the vote to see which chopper the world of bikers like best? I’ll still kick Bandit’s sorry ass from here to Lead and back, I’ll have his woman, his whiskey, and he’ll have a view of my back tire all the way. May the best badass win. See you in Sturgis. Saddle up and ride. My Bandit-smashing nightmare is well under way and I’ve employed the assistance of the talented, albeit nuts, Chinaman and the master of horsepower, Wrench. At the moment, I’m way ahead of Bandit. Nothing new there. Billy Lane is hard at it. Jay’s engine is in the frame, and Jesse James, well, he’s in Europe being interviewed by the Pope. In just a few days we’re already working with a rolling chassis. The new horse is sitting on some good-looking chromed Thunderstar wheels from our bros at Harley-Davidson, 21 inches up front and 16 in the back. We chose Performance Machine brakes to stop the monster, once I get to Sturgis. Until then, they’ll get little if any use, since it’s a race. We have the Paughco frame resurrected from the Bandit II, plus a Paughco oil bag. We were going to use the rear axle and oil bag from Bandit’s other chopper, but West Coast Choppers seemed to have somehow misplaced them. The tank will be a Russ Tom Harley-Davidson/Seattle custom stretch. This is where I’ll keep the fuel that Bandit will breathe the fumes from as we streak north. For a front end, I’m going to use a Harley-Davidson narrow glide, which we’re planning to widen with new triple tits. Joel at Headwinds is the man behind the lighthouse-powerful headlamp system, to light my way. I know I can ride from L.A. to Sturgis straight through, because I’ve done it before, but I expect a great deal of whining and crying from the very soft-assed Bandit. The engine will be a beautiful new RevTech 88-inch CAD designed, fire-breathing whip-lashing, get-the-hell-out-of-my-way twin. The whole crew at Bikernet is pumped to test out one of these killer-tech twins as it’s the first RevTech we’ve gotten to try and we’ve got high hopes for her. The engine came complete with a RevTech carb, increased cooling fin surfaces, no head gasket, never-fail O-rings, high-performance, computer-controlled ignition, and it fits the custom frame with no modifications needed—we hope. Just bolt and scream, which is how we like it. And by the way, if you’re wishing you could get one of these fine RevTech monsters in a 100-inch, you can. To transfer all this power to the flypaper-sticky Avon in the back, we’ll be employing a Baker 6-speed tranny. I’ve not yet had the pleasure of running a Baker 6, but Bandit assures me they are as smooth and stout as a bottle of 20-year-old Jack. Can’t wait to marry it to the RevTech and watch them have some of the honeymoon torque sex. And Avon Tires, of course, will be providing the glue to keep me on the road all the way into South Dakota. If you’ve never owned a set of Avons, you’re missing out. |
