I feel like shit, today. I suppose I’m hungover. Need to set a rule. Just can’t handle it like the old days. I didn’t think I over-did-it, but proof is in the wake-up call.
Let’s see, oh yeah, the Sunday news. Something about women, heat about Layla’s struggle with two wheels, my next project chopper and my exhaust pipe railing. That’s what’s going on here at the headquarters. I’m not sure in what order, but the pressure is on for the babe to ride. She has an opportunity to be involved in an American Rider road test of every new lowered H-D factory ride. They’ve made a concentrated effort to create a line of bikes for shorter Americans and we’re going to try them out. Of course, that takes my 6’5″ ass out of the picture. I’ll stand by and take notes.
We have 10 days before the shoot and I want the woman to be comfortable with her bike, even ride the King once or twice, and the grizzly streets of Wilmington before she’s riding with a gang of equally sized riders up and down the coast while Markus takes shots for the magazine. Let’s hit the news. I’ll report on her progress. On the other hand, she can report on her own goddamn progress:
About Women
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
–from Skooter
AR Harley Catalog
THE first catalog issued by AR Harley has focused on the wide range of parts the company can provide from European sources. Within the pages there is sufficient range of components for the company to show they can provide a one-stop service for a complete, ground-up build.
Among others, there are engines by TP Engineering, STD and Fueling; European manufacturers D?x, HPU and Roland Stocker; while older styles of engine are supplied by Accurate Engineering.
The catalog aims to serve all styles and tastes and new projects may start simply, with a basic frame, or be well advanced by ordering a rolling chassis kit.
Tables within the book show how various combinations of parts fit together, or not. This simplifies the building process when only compatible parts are ordered to achieve effects such as fat rear wheels.
AR HARLEY & SONS
Crowhurst, East Sussex, UNITED KINGDOM
Tel: +44 (0)1424 830 542
Fax: +44 (0)1424 830 532
E-mail: mailto:arharley@harleycustom.com
http://www.harleycustom.com
Mo’ On Women
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she’s 18.
–from Skooter
The MIKUNI HSR48 PERFORMANCE CARBURETOR
Here?s a REAL Racing Carburetor for American Big Twin Monster Motors! Mikuni introduces the new HSR48 Flat Slide. This smoothbore carburetor offers the highest air flow possible while providing highly accurate fuel metering, more power, and Mikuni?s renowned precision throttle response. A new extended main jet and larger fuel valve assure ample fuel supply for very powerful engines.
The HSR48 offers all the same features as the popular Mikuni HSR42 & HSR45 Carburetors for Harley Davidson Twins. All HSR carburetors are designed with an 8-roller bearing flat throttle slide assembly that allows an unobstructed venturi at full throttle to flow more air, while it carburetes more precisely at all throttle settings. Mikuni?s roller bearing throttle slide offers smoother throttle control and allows the use of a lighter throttle return spring for reduced throttle effort. And the Mikuni adjustable accelerator pump provides instant throttle response in any riding or performance application. While a high capacity float bowl prevents fuel starvation even under full throttle applications.
The new HSR48 comes complete with rubber mounting flange, choke cable, remote idle adjuster and additional jetting. Contact your local dealer to order and visit www.Mikuni.com for more information. For a copy of the current Mikuni HSR42/45 Smoothbore Carburetor brochure mail a legal size SASE to HSR Carburetor Brochure, Mikuni American Corporation, 8910 Mikuni Avenue, Northridge, CA 91324.
For additional Information contact: Mr. Lee Chapin, VP of Marketing, Mikuni American Corp ph: 818.734.7946
The Santiago Deuce
These are more shots of my Deuce. Also, please correct the post, since I am in Santiago, Dominican Republic (not Chile… sorry no wineries here), but this actually is the first Santiago of America!!
–Enrique Garc?a
emxgarcia@mac.com
2001 Diamond Ice Softail Deuce FXSTDI
owned by Enrique & Alejandra Garc?a in the Dominican Republic
Mods:
Screamin’ Eagle Stage I EFI Kit & ECU upgade
Screamin’ Eagle SE-203 cams
Xtreme Machine USA Chopper 21″ Billet front wheel
Vance & Hines ShortShots
Wild One WO-506 pullback handlebars
H-D Badlander leather seat with backrest
Fred Kodlin catseye headlight
OMP biltet mirrors This bike may be featured in the Bikernet Readers Showcase area. You can feature your own bike in this area absolutely free. Tell your story or the bike’s story for that matter. It’s there for you.–Bandit
RUN FOR BREATH BEST OF SHOW TROPHY STANDS
JUST WANTED TO SEND A GREAT BIG THANKS FOR THE TROPHY YOU BUILT FOR MIKE PULLIN’S RUN FOR BREATH THIS YEAR!! YOU REALLY OUT DID YOURSELF THIS YEAR.
I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO WIN IT WITH MY OLD SCHOOL 47 KNUCKLE. I MY 30+ YEARS OF RIDING HARLEYS I HAVE WON A FEW TROPHIES, BUT NEVER ANYTHING LIKE THIS!!!
I’M PROUDLY DISPLAYING IT ON THE FRONT COUNTER OF MY SHOP. THAT IS ONE FINE PIECE OF ART. I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW LONG IT TOOK TO MAKE.
THANKS AGAIN,
BEN EDWARDS
BEN’S V-TWINS
CHARLOTTE, NC
Three Women Die Together In An Accident And Go To Heaven
When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on … very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”
The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”
–from Rev CarlR
Police State USA
Last week?s announcement that the terrorist threat warning level has been raised in parts of New York, New Jersey, and Washington, D.C. has led to dramatic and unprecedented restrictions on the movements of citizens. Americans wishing to visit the U.S. Capitol must, for example, pass through several checkpoints and submit to police inspection of their cars and persons.
Many Americans support the new security measures because they claim to feel safer when the government issues terror alerts and fills the streets with militarized police forces. As one tourist interviewed this week said, ?It makes me feel comfortable to know that everything is being checked.? It is ironic that tourists coming to Washington to celebrate the freedoms embodied in the Declaration of Independence are so eager to give up those freedoms with no questions asked.
Freedom is not defined by safety. Freedom is defined by the ability of citizens to live without government interference. Government cannot create a world without risks, nor would we really wish to live in such a fictional place. Only a totalitarian society would even claim absolute safety as a worthy ideal, because it would require total state control over its citizens? lives. This doesn?t stop governments, including our own, from seeking more control over and intrusion into our lives.
As one Member of Congress stated to the press last week, ?people who don?t want to be searched don?t need to come on Capitol grounds.? What an insult! The Capitol belongs to the American people who pay for it, not to Congress or the police.
–from Rogue
If I’m Not In Enough Trouble, More On Blondes
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like.
They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color. The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, ”Greenside up.”
The lady is a little confused, but doesn’t say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, ”I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark.” The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, ”Greenside up!”
The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, ”I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here.” The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, ”Greenside up.”
The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, ”THREE TIMES I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?”
The contractor replies, ”You see, I have four blondes laying sod across the street.”
–from Skooter
Will It End?
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.”
The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!”
–from Skooter
Keeping The David Mann Flame Burning
A brother, Steve, sends us these Dave Mann images from time to time. With Dave’s permission, we may start a section to promote his efforts with Segal Fine art.
This is an opportunity to capture a rare David Mann motorcycle image and help the Mann.
Bikernet Scandinavian Parental Report
So anyvay, late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, “I tink its time!” So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor and took her to the hospital to have their first baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Ole and said, “Hey, Ole! You yust had a son! Ain’t dat great! ”
Vell, Ole got excited by dis, but yust den the doctor spoke up and he said, “Hold on! We ain’t finished yet!”
The doctor den held up a little girl. He said, “Hey, Ole! You got you a daughter!” She’s a pretty little ting, too….
Ole got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor said, “Holey Moley Ole, we still ain’t done yet!”
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, “Ole, you yust had youself another boy!”
Ole was flabbergasted by this news!
A couple days later, Ole brought Lena and the their three children home in the self propelled combine. He was real serious and he asked Lena, “How come we got tree on the first try?”
Lena said, “You remember dat night we ran out of K-Vy Yelly and you vent out in the garage and got dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?”
Ole said, “Yeah, I do. Uffda!, it’s a damn good ting I didn’t get the WD-40!
–from Buckshot
Bear Guzzles 36 Beers, Passes Out At Campground
SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) — A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday.
“We noticed a bear sleeping on the common lawn and wondered what was going on until we discovered that there were a lot of beer cans lying around,” said Lisa Broxson, a worker at the Baker Lake Resort, 80 miles (129 kilometers) northeast of Seattle.
The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years old, broke into campers’ coolers and, using his claws and teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds.
It turns out the bear was a bit of a beer sophisticate. He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge.
Wildlife agents chased the bear away, but it returned the next day, said Broxson.
They set a trap using as bait some doughnuts, honey and two cans of Rainier Beer. It worked, and the bear was captured for relocation.
–from Bob T.
THERE YOU HAVE IT–Sunday’s finest news section with Sturgis 2004 shots from Mike Lichter’s Journey Museum exhibit. Rogue shot them and we will begin a series of reports on the Black Hills Rally beginning next week.
Hang on for Badlands reports from Rogue, Frank Kaisler, CrazyHorse, Jose and more. Rogue also reported on a new Bassini touring exhaust improvement. We have a feature on the Best Of Show Winner from the Choppers Only Show in Hawaii, shot by a famous surfing photographer and an island chopper rider, Jim Russi. That’s not all, watch the Lucky Devil chopper coming together, check back for another chapter of Chance Hogan and complete coverage from the LA Calendar show in Long Beach. Two more: 2004 Boogie coverage and a Kevin Baas custom Bikernet metal sign comes together on these pages.
We’re rocking, even if I haven’t sobered up. Gimme a glass of milk to go with this breakfast burrito.
Let’s Ride,
–Bandit
