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ZACHARY DESEASE REPORT–A woman was distraught because she had not had a date, or sex, in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang,so she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “Ok, take off aw you crose.” The woman did as she was told.
“Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of the room.” Again, the woman did as instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, “ok, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.” She did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your problem vewy bad. You haf EdZachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, “Oh My God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?”
Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, “Ed Zachary Diseaseis when your face rook Ed Zachary like your butt.”
–from Chris T.
THE LAST BIKER–The old ones stand out now, their numbers dwindling down. They’re a sad loss to the American scene, these individualists with the worn down clothes and faces. You can still see them sometimes, the real ones, some in packs, not as large as a while ago, sometimes alone.
The alone one is the best.
One who’s been there a long time, staying in the life he loves, never giving into a system that sucks you up like a vortex if you slip just one foot into it. He’s got his connections – a few like him, that care for and protect each other. Hanging onto the only unique lifestyle left, like old dinosaurs, their faces are leathered and rough by forty, but their eyes still sharp and knowing.
Some are gray in the beards and braids, some are limp in the step and some pain in the kidneys. Still they know that no other life is life, but merely a dreary journey into everyone else’s monotony. He looks at the new ones, then turns away, knowing they will never know of life on the road and of the women who can take it. Wild, loving, women who’ll hang in with them, because they love it too. A woman with a wild heart and a loyal soul, that’s what’s needed here.
The new ones are shiny and young and a bit too clean. They’re born into a system that has an iron grip now. The new one’s will never know and couldn’t take “the life.”
I think it’s a mystery, even to the old ones, why this life is theirs, but it is, and it’s the only one.
When the last biker falls, like the dinosaurs, the sun will go down on a breed of heart-of-gold, tough as nails, free spirited men, who even at their worst, love what’s theirs and protect it. In a world wide system that is making all people as alike as manufactured dolls, the earth will be a duller place….When the last biker falls.
–Wildboomer
Bikernet Caribbean Report–
When I got my first motorcycle, more or less 30 years ago, it was thecoolest chopper mini bike, white with purple accents, ape hangers, and evena sissy bar. What a birthday gift for a 6 year old !!!! As soon as Imanaged to pull that yo-yo and start the Briggs motor, I was riding allover my grand parents back yard. I would come back when it was out of gas,just to fill her up again and keep on riding. That little bike took thebeating of it’s life. Even though it was painted sort of sissy, I lovedthat little chopper, it was used as motocross bike, cruiser and stylingdown my house’s sidewalk. Nope, I was not allowed to leave the property,that was the only rule.
I had two acres or so to ride so it was not that bad, but rules were meantto be broken and soon the streets on our neighborhood became ourinterstates. Other kids had similar bikes, some had z-50’s and C-70’s, weuse to ride in a bunch all over the place, and we had a grand time ,ALL ofthe time. I guess that’s the first time I felt actual freedom, just us,riding and hiding from the cops, sort of like today, only with much largerengines and bikes. We did not wear our helmets since laws were not asstrict, and if we got caught by a cop we were taken back to the house orhad to push the bikes back. I feared my grandma’s swift but lethal hand morethan we did the friendly cops.
This brings me to this report, there’s somephotos from our friends in Cuba, the “harlistas” this group of people liveunder a communist regime and constant vigilance, but boy do they know themeaning of freedom ! They ride around without a helmet or speed limit.They keep their Harley’s running with their hands on approach, no catalogs,no part shops, no “master builders” they make what they need and they enjoyevery second of each ride.
Most use their bikes every single day, (pre 58 so they are allRigids !) it’s their only transportation. But still you meet thesepeople and they are so happy, so sincere, so giving (they will lend me anybike at any time and insisted on doing so) that’s it’s amazing. No worrieswhatsoever of getting their Harleys stolen or getting stranded. Alwaysanother “Harlista ” would help. They even ride together to the cemeteryonce a year to visit their fallen friends, their life is full of hardship,most of them will never leave the country or see a Bike Week, not even reada Harley magazine !
But boy do they enjoy their life , as “Harlistas” So the moral of thestory, even though we live in the “Land of the free, home of the brave” wehave lost some freedoms that we took for granted. We can’t choose not towear a helmet, nor ride in Sturgis without the worries of cops busting usto meet quotas, or sleep without bringing the bikes into the motels so theydon’t disappear. Sometimes I wish we were kids again and do what we wanted,within reason.
Due to the rains last weekend the Dia del motociclista was canceled, we arewaiting for a future date. Such is life in the tropics.
We are sad to report that one of the twins, The Horse maidens passed awaylast week end, we still have no details but will report as soon as we getthem. It’s so sad to loose a young life with such a bright future, ourcondolences go to the family and friends. I guess the lord really works inmysterious ways.
Everyone is getting ready for Laughlin this week, hope to get some reportsfrom there since I will not be there…..sucks !
Here are the photos of Cuba as promised last week, we have some more fromvarious places in the Caribbean and Latin America, will sort them out infuture reports.
I’ve noticed a few messages at “Your Shot” since my comments last weekabout the rigids, Cool ! Keep on sending them, since we like hearing ourreaders opinions and enjoy positive as well as negative remarks— thanksguys.
We are working on our 4th and 5th WCC choppers, hoping to have them donefor Sturgis, also my old skool rigid was kicked to life this Sunday andit’s on it’s way to hit the road (yeah, will post photos as soon as it’sdone). More so, I managed to get some time off to send the first 12 pack ofbikes over Se?or Bandidos way…… Also we are getting our ass in gearfor the Summer tour, The Horse SMSO and then Sturgis “home of really nicepolice who love PR choppers”, also the plans are there to visit Bandit inCalifornia and do the Love Ride….
Oh well see ya next week, have a good one.
Jose – Caribbean Bikernet reporter who’s a good friend of the overworkedand underpaid policeman from the beautiful Sturgis, Deadwood and Keystone, etc,etc,etc.
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