It’s Easter and the sun’s glistening off the harbor. We should ride. Here’s the report on the headquarters. New high-tech florescents were installed, mirror installed in the gym and I popped for a Muffler Masters 3-inch tube bender which I’ll roll into the shop tomorrow. Tomorrow the electrician installs three single-phase 220 outlets. Hopefully new gates will be installed next week. It’s nuts and we’re running out of money fast.
Last night threatened calm then a car blew up across the street from the headquarters. We ducked into a dark sedan and slipped to the coast for Chinese food. After a couple of drinks while watching a wild brunette slither across the dance floor we mustered the guts to return to Wilmington.
Let’s hit the news:
2004 Performance Machine Catalog
Were not sure how they do it every year, but Performance Machine has once again come out with an amazing catalog. Naturally it’s chocked full of the latest and greatest from the king of the wheel & brake biz. The ’04 edition also includes PM’s new Contour wheels– too hot to be believed. Although, the biggest surprise is the debut of a new belt drive primary. The catalog is one hundred pages of full color tributes to the world of custom bikes. Get yours today by visiting “http://www.performancemachine.com” or by calling 800-757-3813
Tell ’em Bikernet sent ya.
Historic European Artwork
I just visited your historical departments and realized you may like this artwork. My cousin, Pete, traveled to Europe nine years ago and discovered that they love Harley-Davidson in Poland.
This is a painting from 1995 which has much significance over there, because the symbol of Warsaw is the fighting mermaid: Syrena. Don’t ask me why. This was used as a flyer for a big two-day event sponsored by “Harley-Davidson Perfumes, Kodak, Coca-Cola, Gauthier Cognac, Queen of Saba, Ray-Ban, Polish Radio PRIII, Holsten Beer, EMPik” and many others, so you know they’re into it.
–Al Mroz
Easter Sunday Religious Moment
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
“Can of PAINT!” exclaimed the minister.
“Yeah,” said the newlywed man. “She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over.”
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
“That’s okay,” said the man. “We’re not welcome in Home Depot either.”
–from Rev CarlR
Bikernet Reader Reports
Saw this puppy outside last night. Was it the whiskey?
S&C
They Are Coming To Get Your Bike If You Are Not Careful. DO NOT LET THIS REPEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An Ohio resident, a repeat DUI offender, has bargained to donate his motorcycle to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) following a judge?s recent decision.
Last September Jeffrey D. Fulton of Shadyside was arrested for driving drunk and hitting another vehicle. In January, he was ordered by Belmont County Eastern Division Court Judge D. William Davis to restore the motorcycle and turn it and title in to the court. The vehicle was then forfeited to MADD who subsequently announced plans to auction the motorcycle. Proceeds will help educate the public about the dangers and consequences of driving drunk.
MADD representatives, Ohio State Highway Patrol in St. Clairsville, and Belmont County Prosecutor Frank Pierce all expressed approval of Judge Davis’s decision. MADD Ohio Valley chapter president Celeste Teresh says she hopes Judge Davis’s decision will set a precedent.
Prosecutor Pierce says he hopes this kind of sentencing will attach a stigma of guilt and responsibility when it comes to drinking and driving…and people will think before they decide to get behind the wheel. (Martin?s Ferry Times Leader)
–from Rogue
Heritage Motorcycle Rally
I will be attending the Heritage Motorcycle Rally in Charleston S.C. on April 15-18 2004. Below is a link to them.
I went last year and it was a good event. I expect this year to be even better. If you can let people know I will be there and they could end up on Bikernet. –Rogue Blonde Job Interview The petite young blonde was being interviewed for a rather high-level executive position at Rogue Photography. Finally, the interviewer concluded with, “I like your style Miss Benson. I think you’ll do just fine. All we ask is that you put out.” “Errr, uhh, err, sir.” she said, somewhat taken aback. “Are you referring to work or sex?” “Well, ‘lil lady,” he replied, “around here, if you don’t do one, you had better be doing the other.” –Rogue LIGHTWEIGHT BIKE LIFT STANDS UP FOR STORAGE If your excuse for not owning a professional MOTORCYCLE LIFT is excessive size, high price, or lack of space in your garage, your excuse is no longer valid. Kendon, the STAND UP motorcycle trailer company now offers a lightweight bike lift that out performs most of the heavy, clumsy lifts currently available. Kendon’s ALL NEW bike lift has the same stability factor as the big heavy lifts, yet is portable, and easy to transport. It also ‘stands up’ and stows in the corner of your garage for space saving efficiency. Features include: Manual or optional air operation, 1,000 pound weight capacity, easy roll casters, integrated wheel chock locks onto front wheel when bike is loaded, with wheel jack to lift front or rear wheel for wheel/tire access, and a full 32 inches of working lift height. Optional tool trays, and other features make this a bargain at any price. This FULL FEATURE lift is extremely compact when folded and stores in vertical (stand up) position (76-inch standing height with a 24 X 24-inch foot print) for convenience. All full range of tools trays and other professional accessories is available. http://www.kendontrailers.com Kendon Tell ’em Bikernet.net sent ya. Aussie Chopper Glen, Bikernet Down Under Reporter, sold all his motorcycles for this chop. Somethin’ about the Australian water. Bikernet Medical Advice A man walks into a doctor’s office. “What seems to be the problem,” asks the doc? “It’s… um…well… I have five penises” replies the man. “Blimey” says the doctor, “How do your trousers fit?” “Like a glove!” –from Rev CarlR Cantina Health Department For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you MADD?s— current President, Wendy Hamilton, sat on the Board of MADD Canada when it was pushing for a .05% BAC limit. Lawmakers in at least eight current .08 states ? Utah, Oregon, Hawaii, Vermont, New York, New Mexico, Washington ? have attempted to lower the BAC to .06% or below. ?We call it prohibition drip by drip,? says the president of the Ohio Senate, Richard Finan. Even a United States Senator echoes the zero tolerance sentiment: ?We may wind up this country going to zero tolerance ? period? says Barbara Boxer (D-CA). –from Rogue A county water safety officer patrols the ocean off Pohaku Park in Kahana, where friends set up a makeshift memorial for Willis “Will” McInnis. Beaches a mile north and south of where the attack occurred were expected to reopen today. Christie Wilson ? The Honolulu AdvertiserIt was Hawai’i’s first confirmed shark-attack death in almost 12 years. The Shark Task Force has issued these 10 tips to reduce the risk of shark attack. 1. Swim, surf or dive with other people, and don’t move too far away from assistance. 2. Stay out of the water at dawn, dusk and night, when some species of sharks may move in-shore to feed. 3. Do not enter the water if you have open wounds or are bleeding in any way. Sharks can detect blood and body fluids in extremely small concentrations. 4. Avoid murky waters, harbor entrances, and areas near stream mouths (especially after heavy rain), channels, or steep dropoffs. Sharks frequent these types of water. 5. Do not wear high-contrast clothing or shiny jewelry. Sharks see contrast very well. 6. Refrain from excessive splashing; keep pets, which swim erratically, out of the water. Sharks are attracted to such activity. 7. Do not enter the water if sharks are known to be present, and leave the water quickly and calmly if one is sighted. Do not provoke or harass a shark, even a small one. 8. If fish or turtles start to behave erratically, leave the water. Watch for dolphins, as they are prey for some large sharks. 9. Remove speared fish from the water or tow them a safe distance behind you. Do not swim near people fishing or spearfishing. Stay away from dead animals in the water. 10. Swim or surf at beaches patrolled by lifeguards, and follow their advice. –By Christie Wilson Advertiser Neighbor Island Editor PM Files Suit Against Copy Cat Manufacturer Performance Machine, Inc, manufacturer of high performance wheels, brakes and controls for custom motorcycles since 1970, announced today that it is filing suit against V-Twin Manufacturing, Tedd Cycle Inc. and Edward G. Doering individually for blatantly copying, advertising and selling knock offs of it’s distinctive products. Performance Machine has countless hours invested in developing their first-rate components and unique trade dress and they are considered by many to be the leader in the industry. Ted Sands, VP of Sales and Marketing for Performance Machine, said, “One of the calipers they chose to knock off has been an Icon of PM’s product line for twenty years. We believe in competition, not copying. We will not, tolerate this kind of activity. It’s not only unfair to us, but it is terribly unfair to the customer. The suit is being filed in the Federal District Court in the Eastern District of Virginia, one of the states where the Defendants’ infringing activities take place. Performance Machine is represented by Levin and O’Connor of Laguna Beach, CA. For more information, call or write to: Performance Machine, Inc. 6892 Marlin Circle, La Palma, CA 90623 714-523-3000 http://www.performancemachine.com 
3711 East La Palma
Anaheim, CA 92806
714 630 7144 fax 714 630 7132
Cantina Bike Deals of The Week
2003 Ironhorse Slammer all custom – $31,500 or take over payments.
1994 Dyna Low Rider Custom – Over $40k invested. Triple trees & fork brace by Custom Cycle Engineering; Wilwood 4 piston disc brakes; Cycle Smith Fat Drag Bars, Internally wires; Badlands load equalizer; Lazar Star Billet 20W Rear turn signals; 65 tooth rear Pro-one Belt Pully; Ness front turn signals; Ness Tech Mechanical Oil Pressure Gauge; Custom torque arm; Landmark motor mount stabilizer; All Russell Braided lines; Pro-one rotors; Low rider tank and gauges and Koni shocks; La Pera Silouette Grey Seat; Bubbs Fatwille Drag pipes with Vance & Hines; Pro Pipes 2 into 1 system; Mirrors by Joker; Jims billet cam cover assembly; Jims rocker roller arms; Jims big eye lifters; Jims tappett blocks; Edelbrock Heads ported and polished by Dave Mackie with stainless oversized valves; Custom cam 580 lift by Mackie; Quicksilver 40mm chrome carb; Edelbrock intake manifold; Crane single fire Hi-4 ignition; Engine balanced by Precision Balancing in Ventura; J&E 3-5/8 STD 10-1 pistons; S&S 88 inch STD Cylinders 3-5/8 bore; Pro-one billet ball miller grips, milled point cover and cam cover, electrical box, dip stick cover, trans, inspection cover; Landmark Renegade head bolt covers; Twin billet headlights by Headwinds; Quicksilver air cleaner cover; Legends forward controls; Paul Yaffe Originals Radius LED Light and License Side Mount Kit; Chrome oil filter base; Custom Paint by Dougs Custom Painting in Chatsworth; Ness paintable dash; Milwaukee Iron front fender; Chrome Swing arm; plus more! $19,500 or best offer.
Blonde Bombshell
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?”
“No, Silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
–from S&C
Four Corners Rally News
The Four Corners Rally in the Rockies is back again during Labor Day Weekend in Ignacio/Durango, Colorado. The dates are September 2-6th. We are proud to announce that we are an official 2004 H.O.G. pin stop!! As most of you know, we have some of the most beautiful riding in the US, and as an added bonus for taking in some scenery, the grand prize for the poker runs is $1000!
New this year is a 4 day color run (similar to poker run) with additional prizes of $1000, $500, or a motorcycle!! If you don?t win that motorcycle, you will still have a chance for the grand prize give-away of a custom motorcycle from Chopper Alley Customs out of Texas. See website for details of all the runs and giveaways.
We are expecting over two hundred vendors including Harley?s Demo Fleet and the entertainment is top notch. Molly Hatchet, BTO, Geneva, and Slaughter will be joining us, plus we will be holding afternoon concerts on all days except Thursday with eight concerts in all. Again we will be hosting the all time crowd favorite ?biker bull busting? which will be held on ALL 5 DAYS of the rally and as usual you can look forward all of your favorite field events.
Camping and entry into all runs, giveaways, and events is free for ?all inclusive entry? arm band holders so order your tickets online now. We WILL sell out!
Check us out at
For rooms call 866-to-rally
Bikernet Relationship AdviceA man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.”
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
–from Jay Hodge
ANTI-MOTORCYCLING OUTFIT DEMANDS NO FREEDOM…AND NO SAFETY!
Advocating mandatory-use helmet laws and slamming everything from rider education to sanctions against reckless vehicle operators who kill, an anti-motorcycling group has papered Washington, DC in opposition to the meaningful agenda for motorcycle safety proposed by the Motorcycle Riders Foundation (MRF) and State Motorcyclists’ Rights Organizations (SMROs).
Infamous for its support of the 1990s provision that withheld highway funds from states without mandatory-use helmet laws, Advocates for Highway and Auto Safety (AHAS) distributed a flyer the day before a key Senate committee was poised to consider and adopt the heart and soul of the motorcycle safety agenda advanced for over a year-and-a-half by the MRF and SMROs nationwide. Our motorcycle safety language satisfies literally dozens of action recommendations of the National Agenda for Motorcycle Safety (NAMS) through education, incentive and discussion – and AHAS is demanding that Congress reject it all!
This well-funded anti-motorcycling group not only has your rights in their sights, but your safety in its reach. You have only one choice: FIGHT BACK!
1. Read the rebuttal on the MRF website ( 2. E-mail (or mail) that rebuttal to BOTH your U.S. Senators AND your U.S. Representative. 3. At minimum, include this comment in your email or letter to your Senators: “I urge you to reject the false claims of this anti-motorcycling group which threaten my freedom and safety, and I respectfully request that you support the Motorcycle Safety Amendment being advanced by U.S. Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska).” 4. To your U.S. Rep., write: “I urge you to reject the false claims of this anti-motorcycling group which threaten my freedom and safety, and I respectfully request that you send a letter to U.S. Reps. Steve LaTourette (R-Ohio) and Pete DeFazio (D-Oregon) to signal your support for their motorcycle safety initiative.” The LaTourette-DeFazio-Murkowski motorcycle safety initiative will prevent accidents, thwart injuries and save lives. Act today – or your freedom and your safety will be history tomorrow. –from Rogue Kill a biker, pay a $200 fine A woman who killed a motorcyclist in a traffic crash in Newport News, Virginia, got off with a $200 fine, drawing fire from a local newspaper columnist who called for tougher penalties for traffic-law violators who kill people. “Whenever violations of traffic laws take human lives, justice demands that the people responsible forfeit their driving privileges at least temporarily,” wrote local columnist Jim Spencer in the Daily Press January 9. “If the law doesn?t allow for that in all fatal accidents, then the law should be changed.” Spencer notes that Betty Elliott turned her car in front of 20-year-old Adam Svihla?s motorcycle on September 12, killing him and injuring his girlfriend, who was riding on the bike as a passenger. When sentenced in January, Elliott was ordered to pay a $200 fine plus court costs for failing to yield the right of way. Svihla?s mother, Jody Patterson, immediately contacted state lawmakers to try to change the law to provide for more severe penalties in future cases. Virginia lawmakers are already working on legislation to make the change. The AMA has launched a campaign in several states called Clubs or individuals who would like to get involved in the “ –from Rogue New Bikernet Secretary Deer Sir, I wanna apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and can sulve Solitair in 20 seconds in the Profi mode. I love speaking on the telefone and because of that I do talk to my frends on it for about houers a day. I’m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited. I have a small problem from wen I was born (I have a funnie culor hair), but find that I offen get a job no problem, so you can pay me what you theenk that I am werth, Thank you in idvance fore yore anser. Yore best aplicant so farr BS : Because my resime is a bit short incloozed is a picksure of me taken at my last jobb. SHE’S HIRED–Of course all the rest of the girls will fire my ass and throw all my shit into the street. Maybe they’ll keep me around to finish all the goddamn construction projects. We’ll see. Hey, Friday we shot the 1928 Shovelhead for a feature in American Iron. The bike looked hot. Strokers Dallas did a helluva job. I’ll row over to the islands, if the girls blow up, have my bikes shipped over for the Choppers Only show and bring my new secretary with me. I better shut up. Let’s escape the Easter Egg hunts and ride. –Bandit 
