Boner-makin’ betty’s got a hundred watt twat/
Give her a fiver and she’ll show you what she’s got /
She’ll make your cock drip semen like a bum drips snot/
She’s got a jar fulla coke and a barn fulla pot/
Her pussy temperature dial has just one setting: hot /
Bashful and coy are two things she is not /
She’ll fuck you long after you drop dead and rot /
–Burma Shave
If peckers tasted like chocolate /
and pussies like brisket roast /
I wonder which of the genders /
would get oral sex the most /
–Burma Shave
The Covid-19 protocols /
are claimed to be the Great Cure-Alls /
But I think that the protocols /
are just designed to bust my balls /
–Burma Shave
“Your Honor……
I’m really quite sorry that I fucked your daughter /
but she came onto me like a hot horny otter /
While we were buck naked and nude in the water /
she was suckin’ me just like your Ol’ Lady taught ‘er /
Then she asked for a buck, but I gave her a quarter /
And she said that is more than you give her to blow you /
and she even has videos she said I can show you /
Of her face and your dick in real close proximation /
and some of you both in conjoined masturbation.”
–Burma Shave
“My boy I’m convinced or my name isn’t Milty /
that you surely are not what the law would call guilty /
Your brilliant defense of each false accusation /
would make Harvard Law grads feel great admiration /
For your legal and admirable law expertise” /
I said, “I also have tapes of you fucking your niece.” /
Said the judge “Well that tears it, you’re quite safe from me/
ever sending to prison such a smart lad as thee/
And in fact, in the interests of being quite fair/
I’m writing a ruling declaring you mayor/
–Burma Shave.
A midget walked on down the street /
waving upward at all he’d meet. /
The normal folks all waved back down /
for the midget was liked throughout the town. /
And as he strolled past rich and dregs
someone walked between his legs! /
“Amazing!…” he thought …”that I should see /
someone actually smaller than me: /
Who could it be in this metropolis????”
But then yelled, “Hi, George Stephenopoulis!”
–Burma Shave
from the P.U. Litzer Prize winning book for sliterature “Biker Love Pomes For M’Lady” by J.J. Solari
