This is sort of a true story. We have a brother; let’s call him Sam the Dyna Rider. He’s short, sorta round good-looking guy with a long terrorist salt and pepper beard and wiry salt and wiry closely cropped hair. He’s always tightly manicured and prides himself in his cleanliness and appearance.
His bike is a silver Dyna that’s fast and clean. He rides hard according to his brothers, but he has an issue with a girl. We’re not exactly sure what it is, but they fight like cats and dogs. When they’re together, it’s either bliss or explosions. But when she’s gone he melts down like an opium addict and he starts to jones.
The holiday season is a tough time of the year to be facing such issues so the bros got together. Sam needed a distraction. The Bikernet headquarters is a wasteland when it comes to hot broads. Not far away in Long Beach, the college girls are fine and the selection improves. In Hollywood, the appearance level skyrockets but so do the drugs. Sam just had a birthday and is dancing in his mid-40s. His little sweetie slithered out the door in her mid-20s. You get the picture.
The bros have tried everything to change his tune from the blues to Freedom Rings, but we haven’t encountered much success. But a brother proposed a Christmas gift. He found this girl with just the right attitude, and she adores sex.
We told Sam that Frankie needed a hand in the shop with his FXR and badda bing; Ms. Xmas present was wrapped perfectly for the occasion. She sizzled with seduction and wanted no more than to strip off her duds and wait on the bench for her man to take her to heaven once more.
For once the bros plan worked, and with a sprinkle of Jack Daniels, they started the evening rocking the bench. Then they moved inside the living quarters to the deck in the living room, the couch and ultimately the first bed they could find. She rocked his world in every conceivable position.
The next morning, they shook the stove in the kitchen. She made scrambled eggs, corn tortillas and coffee, and they ate and grinned at one another. Just before she left, they did it again and Sam was cured. His brain refocused and he couldn’t stop smiling. He danced out to his Dyna and hauled ass to anywhere he could find a brother and tell his story of lust and new-found freedom.
The ultimate Christmas present!
Merry Xmas 2018 from Earl’s Garage and Bandit’s Cantina. May all your two-wheeled dreams come true for 2019
