????????So Bandit saunters into the humming headquarters and says, ?Who wants pie?? ??During his tenure as editor at Easyriders, good deeds received a slab of raisin pie. So in his perverse way he was trying to make light of the pain-in-the-ass job writing the weekly news is. ?Everyone of the Bikernet crew tried to avoid it like the plague. ?Usually it falls to the youngest,stupidest, or the guy who complains too much. Even that whiner, Snake clamed up so as to avoid Sunday news duty. ?
?????????It kind of reminds me of the story of the Moose Turd Pie as told by Cousin Al. ??Seems that Al got a job working on a railroad repair crew. ? The railroad provided everything but a cook, assuming one of the crew would be selected for that duty. ?The job of cook always fell to the guy that complained the most about the cooking. ?It made for a lot of sullen but mute workers.
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?????????When Cousin Al came on board he immediately complained about the crap they were being fed. ?The cook came sauntering out with a big smile on his face, ?If you don?t like it, let?s see what you can do.? ?The cook put the greasy chefs hat on Cousin Al, then gave him a deep bow saying as he did, ?The kitchen?s all yours Al.?
??????????Well, Al thoroughly hated the job, but couldn?t stir a replacement for the job, no matter how bad the food he served was, no body complained. ?One day he was wandering out away from the repair crew who were working to strengthen the road bed, when he spotted a giant moose turd patty. It steamed with odiferous freshness. ?Al came upon a moment of real epiphany, he decided that the solution to his cook job was to bake a Moose Turd Pie. ?Surely, someone would complain about this putrid prairie splat. ??
????????So he set about to create the best Moose Turd Pie worthy of the challenge. ?He made a perfect crust for the pie, pinching the edge of the lower crust at the edge of the tin pan. ?Carefully, he laid the reeking, redolent moose residue on the pie crust, then with strips of dough, made a criss-cross pattern worthy of Martha Stewart. ?
?????????At the conclusion of the moderately palatable meal, Al served the steaming Moose Turd Pie. ?The rest of the crew, knowing the game was afoot, avoided the pie, but the newest on the crew eagerly cut a significant wedge of pie and jabbed a fork into it.
??????????As soon as the forkful of Moose Turd Pie aroused his taste buds, the large railroad worker sprang to his feet and bellowed, ?Damn, that?s Moose Turd Pie!? ?Looking around the room at the rest of the crew and realizing the game, he intoned more respectfully, ?And a damn good one it is.? ?He sat down to finish his wedge of MooseTurd Pie. ?
?????????So if any of you out there don?t like the way I?m hammering out this turgid hunk of prose, I?ve got a steaming hot slab of Moose Turd Pie waitin? for ya?.
–Nuttboy, the morale officer
