I wish I knew what to say. It’s one of those coastal gloomy days that remind me of days, as a kid, when I scored a bad report card. I’m having a Jack on the rocks and wondering what the hell I’m going to do next week. As soon as I wrap up my dour mood, I’m going to the pool.
There are surprises on the horizon, like six unexpected parking tickets. I can’t go into it now, but I’m looking forward to everything that lingers ahead. We’ll be back in the garage hammering on the Amazing Shrunken FXR next week, and hopefully I’ll have news on… Well, for now I’ll keep my mouth shut. One thing though. I finished another episode of the drama. We’ll launch this sucker in a couple of days. Let’s get to the news:
FEDS PROPOSE NEW MOTORCYCLE EMISSIONS STANDARDS
No more air-cooled engines? No more carburetors? Catalytic converters? By 2010, motorcycle tailpipe emissions must be slashed by over 80%, making it necessary for manufacturers to use fuel injection on the intake and catalytic converters on the exhaust in order to comply with tough new federal regulations, as well as altering cam timing and making other engine modifications, including liquid cooling.
Look out–for more information check the Bikernet Legislative news and get involved.
Chrome Specialties On-Line
If you need a part, you can now buy it online at Bikernet and it will be shipped directly from Chrome Specialties to your home. That’s right. Check it out.
Texas Security
At a small terminal in the Texas Panhandle, three strangers are awaiting their shuttle flight. One is a Native American passing through from Oklahoma. Another, a local ranch hand on his way to Ft. Worth for a stock show.
The third passenger is an Arab student, newly arrived at the Texas oil patch from the Middle East. To pass the time they strike up a conversation on recent events, and the discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout Muslim. The conversation falls into an uneasy lull.
The cowpoke leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat stained hat forward over his face.
The wind outside blows tumbleweeds and the old windsock flaps, but no plane comes.
Finally, the Native American clears his throat and softly, he speaks: “Once my people were many, now we are few.”
The Muslim raises an eyebrow and leans forward, “Once my people were few, ” he sneers, “and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?”
The Texan shifts the toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says, “That’s ’cause we ain’t played Cowboys and Muslims yet.”
–Chris T.
Panhead Billy Nears a Milestone
Billy Borrows of Raymond, N.H., affectionately known to the riding community as Panhead Billy, was in attendance at Sturgis again this year. Billy is sort of famous to us in the Iron Butt crowd and for a few very good reasons.
Billy has been on a quest for the past six years now. His mission: To ride his 1952 Panhead Harley to each and every Harley dealership in the U.S.A. To date, Billy has logged well over 3/4 of a million miles on his trusty pan. With yet another Black Hills Rally under his belt, he has only one stop left in Pennsylvania to complete his mission and plans a big bash once he hits it on his way back to New Hampshire.
When I asked Billy what he was planning to do once his quest had come to a successful ending, he sheepishly smiled and said, ” Start all over again, in reverse this time” Billy, you’re the man, good luck dude.
–Teddy Bear
Hawaiian Bikernet Correspondent Returns From Sturgis
Just got home here in Hawaii, had a great trip to Sturgis. We went through seven states, took alot of picture’s, met so many great people. Your bed roll and day roll worked out great as you can see in the pictures I sent. Thanx so much for the route, best trip. Will send pictures and tell you where and what we did.
–Chris T.
Whale Of A Time
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, “If we both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time, it should cause the ship to capsize and sink.”
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized that all the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was absolutely enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, “let’s swim after them and gobble them up before they reach land.
At this point though, he realized that the female seemed reluctant to follow him and asked her why. “Look,” she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.
–from Chris T.
MAYOR BLOOMBERG, SMOKE THIS New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg it would seem had hopped on yet another band wagon. His latest effort will be to try and ban smoking in all public places including New York City parks and public beaches. Not even the sanctity of bars, outdoor cafes and smoke shops will be safe from the “Smoke Police” Could this be yet another effort to make New York a healthy place or do the deep pockets of insurance company and environmental lobbyists possibly have a role to play? We’re not sure, but all us smokers can say to His Honor is, “Hey Mayor, SMOKE THIS!!!”
–TBear
A Taste Of Sunday Religion
A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, “If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. “What’s wrong? ” he asks.
“You gave me the wrong key!”
–from Nuttboy
Another shot of Chris T. heading to the Badlands with his Bikernet Bedrolls and a smile on his face.
ABC AND PUBLIC BURDEN
I just received a note from Tom Lindsey of the AMA (American Motorcyclists Assoc) who pointed out that my earlier message about the report on ABC will be aired on World News Tonight, in the early evening, not Nightline, late night, as I mentioned in my email
I was scrambling to get this email out and still finish my work so I didn’t research it as well as I should’ve. (other than I’m just lazy sometimes too!)
Scott Cochran,Editor
Dixie Rider Motorcycle News
Check the Bikernet Rights page for a more complete story on the World News Report. It’s not good.
North Cascade HOG Chapter’s, Burn Run
Dan, talked with Geep today, We will meet you at the 1st Rest Stop on I-5, Southbound from the border at 1100am on Sunday the 25th of August to ride to the Burn Camp. They want us there around 1:30ish and will be providing lunch for us.
Please bring a toy for a camper. Suggested gift items to bring for the Burn Camp Campers are: Disposable Cameras, Squirt Guns are always appreciated, Any other Item your members feel comfortable in bringing.
Ages are 5-18 I believe…
See you on the 25th
Ride Safe and Keep the Shinny Side Up
Marc
–from Dan McNiel, Mqbhdflstc@cs.com
That’s it, goddamnit–Strange Day I need a ride and another whiskey to take the edge off and kick back. Let’s have a helluva week and make a difference to someone. Ride Forever, Bandit —
