Hell froze over, the Love Ride is under water, the world had gone to the dogs. Folks were still lined up at Jesse’s shop to buy T-shirts at his No Love Party as the streets of Long Beach became flooded. In fact his mug is plastered on a monster garage billboard on the Long Beach freeway. Congratulation go to the recently married builder, while the rare sour weather hammered the coast.
Jose’s been hanging on from one party to the next. We went to Chica’s shop in a driving rain and watched as he attempted to build a Shovelhead bobber in a VL frame in two days for the Love Ride. We’ve dug out the Excelsior for the ride Sunday to Lake Castaic if the weather clears up. Tonight we trucked over to Century Motors to pick up the highbar E-H and as the rain unloaded it’s full 80 proof upheaval. I’ll profess to Jose that I rode 30 (actually three blocks) miles in the driving rain to bring him a guest motorcycle. Let’s get to the news while I dry out:
The Essence Of A Cow Girl
Thought maybe this might work for a Cantina Girl? Good add for Gateway. Might swing the Dell buyers over!!
–Paul
Too Cute Not To Share! Enjoy
The following is a true story: An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver’s seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into her car and then drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed…………………Ah, senior moments!
–from Bob T.
Bikernet Charlotte Report
Big swap meet in Charotte this weekend put on by the local CBA chapter. Gonna check it out and hook up with Sherry Sat. Hope I can get some decent photo’s.
So now you got this swing arm. Do you see what I meant about lopping off the pivot tube?? Then grafting it on a FXR style swing arm. Kinda like what Kosman does when he widens stock Sportster swing arms for drag racing.
–Pablo
The swingarm won’t work. It’s toast.–Wrench
Stubborn Girlfriend–Aren’t They All?
A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend. “She gets me so angry sometimes I could smack her,” the young man exclaimed.
“Well, I’ll tell you what I used to do with my wife,” the boss replied, “Whenever she get out of hand I’d take her pants down and spank her.”
Shaking his head the young guy replied, “That doesn’t work. Once I get her pants off, I’m not mad anymore.”
–from Rogue
FlatHead Power
We’re working hard to bring Flathead Power to the United States from Sweden. Anders manufactures upgraded Indian twins, Knuckleheads and Flathead motors and it building complete bikes. He’s the king of this product line. Recently, he came up with the following marketing scheme. Could be a kick in the ass:
“We?re playing with the thought of making a non-stop crosscountry trip of the US next summer on two of our bikes. 1 Knuck Time Bandit and 1 Flathead Time Bandit. Just an endurance thing that will prove our parts. Two riders for each bike and riding in 6 hour shifts, non-stop N.Y. to L.A. or something like that. Or L.A. to Milwaukee for the 100-year thing.”
–Anders
Sneaking Out Early
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
“Hey, girls,” says the brunette, “lets go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know.”
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
“That was fun,” says the brunette. “We should do it again sometime.”
“No way,” says the blonde. “I almost got caught.”
–from Rogue
Bikernet Ozark Report
Man how things can change. Two days ago I had it all, and today I suck. Big boss man is pissed at me over some stupid shit I won’t do. I hate sales work and he wants me to go with him to some convention in Memphis. I would rather starve to death than spend 35 hours with these guys. So it’s ugly around here. Everyone is pissed.
All the other guys are pissed because they haven’t got the nads to bone up to the bastard, and they act like it’s my fault. They’ll have to go and listen to him bitch about me for the entire three hour trip there and back. This isn’t even my area. There is no potential business for me in the deal. I tried to tell him that I would just get fucked up and embarrass him. God he’s so fucking mad.
Anyway, my girl is pissed because I’m going to a party she doesn’t want to go to. She doesn’t want me to go because she won’t have anything to do on Saturday night. I told her I was going and she could go if she wanted, otherwise, she’s on her own. God, she’s so fucking mad.
Juvee girl knows that I’m going and she knows my girl isn’t, but I didn’t ask her to be there and she’s pissed.
Philips girl will be there and she could come with her, so it would look straight up. She wanted to go then sneak away, but I never mentioned it and when she asked if I was going I said I wasn’t sure. God she’s so fucking mad.
They can all kiss my ass. I’m going to the party and I ain’t going to Memphis.
–Ozark Ed
We’re proud of you, bro. Hang in there, it’s in the stars.
To Friends And Fans of Jim McClure
Betty Pettingill, Jim McClure’s sister in law, relays the following message from Phyllis, “Jim is in Sentara Norfolk General Hospital in Norfolk, Va. and was put on the Heart Transplant list this morning. We thought he might get to come home this morning put he had to stay so the transplant doctor can surgically put in an assist device on Monday.”
“Jim may be able to come home on Tuesday. He will have home health care and cannot be further than two (2) hours from the hospital at all times. When a heart becomes available he will have to get to the hospital ASAP. The hospital is listed in the top fifty (50) in the United States. We are very thankful that we have this facility so close to us.”
We need to keep Jim and Phyllis and their family in our prayers.
Cards can be sent to the shop:
Jim McClure
3707 Rochambeau Dr.,
Williamsburg, Va. 23185
Bikernet Discovers The Biggest Woman In The World
Now this is my kind of woman………………….My god …You have to get on a step ladder to kiss her. She is from Holland, and measures a little over 7’4″ and weights 320 pounds…
Any Minute Now–Our esteemed web master is going to post a feature on Cyril’s latest creation called The Tattoo. I’ll report on the Love Ride Tomorrow if rain lets up. If not, we’re going to chow on salt water muscles and margaritas. Tonight, if there’s no parties on the horizon we’re going after women. May actually follow Sin Wu to a lesbian bar. That would be interesting. Let’s see, chase women or go to the Hot Bike party? Which way would you go?
I’m hammering together the conflagration of a Biketoberfest Report. It should be launched next week. The word from the east is full of murky symbols of regulations to come. Old coots will be the death of us, if we don’t stand up to their stoical whims.
In the meantime, ride like your spouse just found out.
–Bandit PS. We went to the Hot Bike party. Save the women for next weekend. Billy Lane, Mike Muldanado and the new up and coming builder from Phoenix were standing around the camp fire with the staff of Hot Bike. Good to see these guys. Now, Wind ‘Em Up, we’re ridig to the Love Ride….
