A pal just called and told me that he was headed, on his ’61 Panhead to the Green Onion for mega-margaritas and flirtin’ with the waitresses. Made me think of the Cantina and the girls in the back room. Have your read the latest segment of the soap opera?
Anyway, I’m trapped hammering at the news like kid who has to finish his homework before he can slip out through the backyard to the alley beyond. Hell, I sent the Gangster Web Master an event, a tech on the use of Loctite today and Pablo from Charlotte sent me a handful of Road King Recommendations. I’ll either kick them in the shorts here in the Post or send them to the master of Web.
Goddamnit, I’m burnin’ daylight. I even found a dirt bike solution to no air cleaner on the Panhead. I want to do some tunin’, make sure she’s running fine so when Master Brad and my martial arts Sifu rumble up to my door, both on Pan, my baby is ready to roll. Let’s hit the news runnin’…
Cantina Bike of The Year
Jesse Rooke, a young builder in Phoenix crafted this unbelievable example of talent and forward thinking and hauled it to the Calendar show. About the time you think you’ve seen ’em all, someone makes you cry, laugh and applaud. He raised the custom bike bar once more.
Watch the site for reports on his progress and product line.
A little reminder from Ray R. that knowledge is everything.
Air Stream Innovation For Bikes
At the Love Ride I spotted a trailer manufacturer who is making a sleek motorcycle trailer that will blow your mind. It has old Air Stream exterior lines and shape, and when you arrive at your destination it turns into a wooden paneled stylish living space. You’ll freak when you see it.
Matt, the owner, dropped me a line, “The trailer that you saw is the prototype, we are currently building the next two. I would be able to do a build-up article on that. The chassis should be back from Art Morrison next week. Other than the store bought parts, the rest is all done in house. Our first product release came out in Easyriders in the Dec. issue, and the next one will be in Street Rodder in March. ” We wish him much success. Drop him a line for info.
–“Matthew Basher”
She wrote the letter. Gotta thank Bob T. for contributing all the antique bike photography that ends up in Freedom Film or the Cantina Antique Bike area. There’s a new shot up everyday.
A LETTER TO SANTA………..
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing. The 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can’t read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to Walmart before everything is gone.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
–from Bob T.
The Answer To Suicide
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick To commit suicide. Let’s consider the options:
No beer, No television, No cheerleaders, No baseball, No football, No basketball, No hockey, No golf. Soccer only, and all the time.
No pork BBQ, No hot dogs, No burgers, No lobster, shellfish, or Even frozen fish sticks. Rags for clothes and diapers for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next door because he’s sick and There are no doctors; they are all in the US. No chocolate chip cookies. No, Christmas. Instead 30 days of fasting. You can’t shave. Your wife can’t shave. You can’t shower to wash Off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey. But your donkey has a better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better! No mystery here! Adios amigo.
–from CarlR
Century Canvas Available From Segal
Just a quick note to say we have a few Phase I canvases available on Drae’s 100th Anniversary artwork: “Century”. Any customer with a 2003 Fatboy is a prime candidate for this very limited piece. It comes with 100th frame package; while they last.
–My best, Ron Copple 800-999-1297
The Jigsaw Puzzle
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me…I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He held her hand and said, “Second, I’d advise you to relax. Let’s have a cup of coffee, then ………..” he sighed, “Let’s put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”
–from Chris T.
Snow Removal Scam
It’s almost winter and I wanted to warn your neighborhood. You should be on the lookout in case the same scam goes around your area. If you don’t have a driveway to be cleared, this doesn’t really apply to you, but there is no telling what else they might offer to suck you in.
These two showed up to offer to shovel snow from my driveway, but because I had been warned by neighbors, I did not fall victim and they were promptly sent on their way. They claimed they obtained a permit but did not have any pockets to carry it in; ha! a likely story.
As if these two would do an efficient job? They whined about it being cold and probably would have left before the job was done properly, along with my hard-earned $20.00 for the job! Fortunately, recognition of this element in our society, which can prey on the unsuspecting, is a responsibility of all good citizens, and I quickly photographed the pair with my digital camera. I am passing their photo around so they don’t suck in other unsuspecting victims.
If they do show up in your neighborhood, please promptly report them to the local police.
–from Forrest P.
Veterans Helping Veterans
We asked our local Target store to be a sponsor of the Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial Wall during our spring recognition event. We received back a reply from Target management that “veterans do not meet our area of giving. We only donate to the areas of arts, social actions and education. ” My thought: if the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall and the Vietnam veteran himself, does not meet the criteria of these areas, something is wrong at Target. We were not asking for thousands of dollars, not even hundreds, but simply sponsorship endorsement for a “memorial remembrance”.
As follow-up, I e-mailed the corporate Headquarters and their response was the same. Personally, I will NOT be buying anything at Target Stores again. If the Vietnam Veteran does not meet their area of giving then why should I, as a Vietnam veteran, spend my hard earned money in their stores?
Please pass this on to as many people as you know. Maybe Target and other businesses will get the message.
By Dick Forrey, Vietnam Veterans Association
–from Bob T.
Nuttboy Checks In
So have you had enough of the diviant side of life (aka, orgish.com)? So what’s up for Saturday? Heroin shooters? Taking a bite out of the spinning grinding wheel? Battery acid enemas? Shaving one’s lips? Out-Jackassing Jackass? Drano garggle? Gang banging a porcupine? Munching turd sandwiches?
How fucking crazy does the world have to get before you puke? As for me, I long ago puked out what ever adolescent sympathy I had for humanity. Fuck every one. The kingdom of Nuttboy reigns eternal, omnipotent, and all seeing. Look out, Big Brother is watching.
–NuttBoy
Ah, sure man, anything you say.
BIKER WINS VOTING RIGHTS FOR PRISONERS
The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that prisoners have the right to vote in elections. The challenge to the law was launched by Richard Sauve, a one-time motorcycle club member from Ontario who was sentenced to life in prison for murder.
He has since won parole, earned a university degree and has continued to campaign for voting rights for those who remain in prison.
By a 5-4 margin, the high court concluded Thursday that the federal government had failed to demonstrate any overriding social objective that could justify such an infringement of the Charter of Rights.
At issue was a section of the Canada Elections Act, passed in 1993, that denied prisoners serving terms of two years or more the right to vote in federal elections.
The ruling doesn’t guarantee that federal prisoners will ever actually get to vote because Parliament could pass a new law before the next election — although it’s not clear how much room the government has to maneuver.
–Bill Bish
The above is from the latest AIM Report. We’ll run the rest of his AIM news next week in the Rights Section of Bikernet.
VASE
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, “Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.”
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, “You don’t like getting flowers?”
The redhead says, “I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don’t feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air.”
The blonde says, “Don’t you have a vase?”
–from Bob T.
Looking For An FXR
Hi Guys, I have a friend here in Minneapolis, some of you may know her, Lauri Segal aka Little Lauri. She’s looking for a FXR, year ’91 and up, clean bike, of course must be in good condition for $15,000 or less. If you’ve got one or know anyone looking to get rid of one send me an e-mail with details and pic if possible and I’ll pass it on to her. Thanks!
–Patty
MNSportie@aol.com
Have A Great Day!
A biker stops by the Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he now had a problem: How to carry all of his purchases home?
The owner said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?
“Hey, thanks!” the biker said, and out the door he went.
In the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”
The biker said, “Well, as a matter of fact I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?”
The biker said, “Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”
The lady said, “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”
DJ (Dana) Coates
Bros Club
Blackjack Shootout
The 3rd Annual 21 or Bust – Blackjack Shootout, held Sunday October 27, was a huge success, considering that it was raining in Tucson, Phoenix, the East Valley, Globe and Payson that morning. But the weather in Florence could not have been any better for an event or a putt down the highway. Not a drop of rain and hardly a cloud in the sky. A comfortable 75 degrees and 450 very charitable riders out to have a party. And what a party it was… the Bella Union band opened the event at 11 and played to 1… at 1, Mogollon took the stage and rocked the house until a bit after 4.
The Food Bank at the First Presbyterian Church received $700 from the 50/50, donations and extra 21 hand sales.
Two-year old River Guerrero, a leukemia victim (now in remission) received $1,700… from out gate proceeds and kind donations made by our 50/50 winner Dick C, Sally W. who donated her trip to laughlin back to help River, and event organizers Fred and Jayne Pascarelli.
Over $500 in door prizes were awarded to those in attendence.
In the “No Class” Win Cash Bike Show, Taz took first place with his custom built sccotter and partied down $100 richer, Brad H. won 2nd place with Big F-N tire bike and pocketed $50, while Cathy K smiled and waved as she drove away on her Dyna Wideglide with third place and $25 cash.
Swedish Ad
How do you like this Dual Carb Knuckle. A typical Swedish Chopper.
–Anders
Flathead Power
Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.
The Cantina Awaits–I’ve got to slip out of here, have a margarita and kick back. I’m hungry as hell and the thought of chips and salsa is making me drool. We’re heading out to Arizona in a couple of weeks, just after Thanksgiving. It better not be raining. This week we’ll fix the King with a set of 16-inch apes, and next week we’ll we’ll start some performance mods. The Screamin’ Eagle pipes are being jet hotted as I wait for the gold cadillac on the rocks. Let’s ride.
–Bandit
