It’s 2:30 in the afternoon on Sunday. I know, I’m late, but I have bitchin’ excuses. I was out of the sack at 6:30 this morning. I pulled the ’48 Pan out and rode with Dr. Hamster and Chris Kallas the biker artist to the Long Beach swap meet. What a bitchin’ clear day. The temps were perfect, not too hot or cold. The crowd was light due to the Laughlin weekend and there were deals on the grounds of Veterans Stadium. Chris is restoring a 45 and found a carb for the right price. Dr. Hamster is restoring a ’34 VL and didn’t find shit. I stumbled across a ’29 30.50 single which I need to begin my Pea Shooter on pennies project. As I turned to inquire as to the price I discovered Mil Blair standing behind the counter. Mil was one of the three original owners behind Easyriders. He was the co-owner of D&D and ultimately Jammer. He offered me a deal I couldn’t refuse.
Let’s get through the news, then I want your opinion on a couple of things:
new Iraqi currency from Bob T.
Prison/Work
Just in case you ever got the two mixed up.. This should make things a bit more clear:
IN PRISON…you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell
AT WORK … you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON…you get three meals a day.
AT WORK…you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.
IN PRISON…you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK…you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON…the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK…you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON…you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK…you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON…you get your own toilet.
AT WORK…you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
IN PRISON…they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK…you can’t even speak to your family.
IN PRISON…all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK…you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON…you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK…you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON…you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK…they are called managers.
So why do we work?
–from Dick Bondano
Could There Be A Better Whiskey Than Jack
Nuttboy is a man of many professions. Besides being a nut, he’s a college art teacher. That’s just the beginning of the litany of his professions. A year ago he took a plane load of kids to Ireland to study Art(?). Yeah right, they drank beer, whiskey and scotch for two weeks then stumbled aboard the plane for the return flight.
He brought back a bottle of 12-year-old Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey. This shit is incredible. It’s the nectar of the Irish lords. It’s distributed to the USA through Allied Domecq Spirits, USA, who will give you details of where you may purchase it; their telephone number is 203 221 5400. Even the regular Tullamore Dew is damn fine are hard to find. The 12-year-old stuff is virtually impossible to come by, but I’m working on it. If you get a chance try it out and let me know what you think.
Run For Breath Update
In addition to designing a trophy for the Best of Class I was assigned to find an artist capable of designing and illustrating the Run For Breath T-shirt for this year. The Run For Breath is headquartered at Charlotte H-D, in North Carolina, and scheduled for July each year. For more information drop the Meanest a note: sandyg329@hotmail.com.
Chris Kallas was the man for the job. This is his first rough. We sell a number of his very inexpensive art prints in the Gulch. Check ’em out.
Don’t miss the event, if you’re in the area. Mike Pullin designed it as a tribute to his son who died of an asthma attack at too young an age.
No Pets Allowed In The Cantina
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him, so the man picks up the parrot and throws him in the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, and all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, and the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, “I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness.”
The man says, “Well, thank you. I forgive you.”
The parrot then says, “If you don’t mind my asking, what did the chicken do?”
–from Nuttboy
Bikernet Reader Controls I-43 Road Signs
Only in Wisconsin!!! Yes, this was actually on display on I-43 a couple weeks ago. It was placed near the scene of the 60 car accident when they were repairing the area of highway. This picture shows the “censored” version. Prior to the State Trooper arriving on scene and taking the picture the sign was fully functional, displaying all words completely. Needless to say, dispatch got a few Cell 911 calls from concerned motorists whose attention it attracted.
SHARP EYE ENTERPRISES PROUDLY PRESENTS IT’S KICK START KIT FOR 5 SPEED AND 6 SPEED H.D. STYLE TRANSMISSIONS
THIS KICK START MECHANISM WAS DESIGNED TO ADAPT THE HARLEY-DAVIDSON STYLE, 1987 TO PRESENT, 5-SPEED TRANSMISSION INTO A KICK START TRANSMISSION WHILE RETAINING THE ORIGINAL TRANSMISSION’S TRAPDOOR AND MAIN SHAFT.
THIS UNIT COMES IN TWO MODELS: ONE MODEL FITS H-D STYLE TRANSMISSIONS WITH THE ORIGINAL STYLE TRAPDOOR, SUCH AS H-D 5-SPEEDS AND SPYKE 6-SPEEDS. THE OTHER MODEL FITS THE JIM’S PRECISION MACHINE AND BAKER STYLE 6-SPEEDS THAT USE A SPECIAL TRAPDOOR.
THE KICKER KIT COMES POLISHED AND INCLUDES A MAGNUM STYLE POLISHED STAINLESS STEEL KICK ARM THAT IS 1-INCH LONGER THAN STOCK FOR MORE POWER ON BIGGER MOTORS AND A CHOICE OF 2 OR 1-inch OFF SET TO THE ARMS. THE ARMS HAVE ADDED FEATURES OF A SET SCREW TO RETURN THE STYLISH PEDAL BACK TO POSITION AS PARTS WEAR. ALSO THE ARM HAS A SPRING LOADED BALL THAT KEEPS THE PEDAL IN AN AT-REST, RETRACTED, POSITION.
THE SHARP EYE KICKER COVER DOES NOT STICK OUT MUCH FARTHER THAN THE ORIGINAL TRANSMISSION END COVER. THE 5- SPEED MODEL IS ONLY 1/8-inch WIDER, THE 6-SPEED MODEL IS ABOUT 1/2-inch WIDER THAN THE ORIGINAL END COVER.
THE KICKER SHAFT, KICKER ARM, AND PEDAL SHAFT ARE ALL POLISHED 17-4 STAINLESS STEEL WITH POLISHED CHROME & STAINLESS HARDWARE.
SOME EXHAUST SYSTEMS WILL NOT BE COMPATABLE. PAUGHCO INC. TELE: 1800-423-2621, IS MAKING EXHAUST PIPES SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS KICK START SYSTEM.
FOR KICKER MODEL INFORMATION, PRICES AND AVAILABILITY, CALL: SHARP EYE ENTERPRISES TELE:562-250-O333 OR FAX 562-250-0334.
Thought this was pretty funny. Will piss off the women…SORRY!
–John Covington
More Lead For Your Sled
From the company that introduced dry cell battery technology to the Harley-Davidson industry 10 years ago comes the NEW Big Boar 350! With 350 cold cranking amps it is by far the most powerful battery that will fit your Harley-Davidson. It has the power to spin today’s big inch high compression motors without a whimper. The new BB 350 has more lead plates than before which translates into more cranking torque. Heavy internal connectors, heavy duty separators, and heavy duty terminals as well as a total seal and total safe design make this the baddest battery on the block.
Check BigBoar.Com.
4 Catholic Women
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say ‘Your eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, “Well…?”
She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6′ 2” hard bodied, well hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say “My God…”.
–from Chris T.
Huze Spikee Foot Pegs
These pegs are offered in 3 designs and have a male mount to fit most after market forward controls. They also can be used as passenger pegs. Matching grips, brake & shifter pegs are available. They are chromed billet aluminum.
Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Rare Sighting Bikernet road test specialist Huzzy One, of Century Motorcycles, was recently sighted testing a newly developed three-wheeled scooter. “It’s like riding a snake,” Huzzy said slipping through the streets of San Pedro just after midnight. “It’ll do 18 mph. Hang on!”
It’s Margarita time–Let’s knock off. The bikes on the road this morning included a bone-stock 1970 FLH, a blacked out 1989 FLH with over 200,000 on the clock and my ’48 EL Pan. Of course we couldn’t just ride to the swapmeet 15 miles away without an adventure. I had to run out of gas just when the four-lane freeway was scrunched to a hetic two-laner in the midst of Sunday Semi-traffic. I had 18 wheelers whizzing around me like I was destined to become roadkill. We bobbed and weaved off the freeway to a gas station, after I jogged up a hill for a couple of blocks pushing that light EL. Got my workout in for the day. We suspect that the dual 42 Mikunis are killing my gas mileage. We’ll see. I cleared the trip guage for a mileage test. I’ll let you know.
On the way home we hit Joe Josts on Anahiem, in Long Beach. The joint is so old I played pool there when I was in High School. Then we cut across downtown Long Beach to the Blue Cafe, but the saloon was deserted. We peeled out for San Pedro.
Okay, here’s my question of the week. I’ve backed off discussing the romantic side of life due to some feelings I’ve had. I like writing about the ups and down’s of relationships, the sex, drugs and rock and roll of life. Most folks ride for the passion, at least that’s what I’ve sensed in the past. Last week a brother made a comment about the news that it was flat without a little tease, some leg or the hint of relationship terror. What do you think? Should I keep the reports to nuts and bolts or do we deserve the drama behind the chrome shipment?
I’ll take my margarita on the rocks.
Ride Forever,
–Bandit
