Here’s a new book being released by Motorbooks Int. The bike on the cover was built and painted by Harold Pontarelli, who paints most Bikernet customs.
This was a weekend fraught with beneficial plans that were ultimately tossed out the window. We’ve had a couple of projects looming over our heads. This was the weekend to face the medicine, roll up our sleeves and dive in. Then a call came in that the second largest, annual book expo, of the year, was taking place in the no-man zone of downtown Los Angeles. Downtown ain’t that bad. It’s getting there that should be left to special forces. The freeways are maddening.
The largest book fair is in Europe, this is number two and we were forced to suit up and saunter down long aisles of book publishers, distributors and e-zine displays. It was a trip and strenously covered my first workout of the weekend. Half way through I needed a pallet to carry all the books I was given. Then there were parties, meetings and who knows where any of it will lead. Let’s hit the news:
Little Known Facts From Our Desert Reporter
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
Now you know everything.
–from Bob T.
Amsoil Oil Comes To The Sunday Post
As many of you are aware I am an Amsoil dealer. I use it in my Harley, as well as all my other vehicles, because I believe in the value of synthetic lubricants and had been using them in my Harley for a couple of years before switching to Amsoil.
Many of you have heard over the years that Harley-Davidson was saying that using synthetics was not recommended for their engines. It never made sense, and by H-D’s about face, with the intro of their own synthetic oil, it is clear that their position was simply a marketing tool to keep us using their oil. Now that the truth is out I would like to again offer you the opportunity to use Amsoil in your motorcycle. Our articles show that Amsoil 20W 50 Motorcycle oil is better than Screamin’ Eagle oil and at a significant cost difference of approximately 25% less will save you money while offering superior performance.
If you are interested in using Amsoil in your bike or other vehicles and have any further questions please feel free to drop me a line or call me at 502-548-3023 and I’ll be happy to discuss your needs. You may also access my website at http://syntheticoiltech.com/oil/nroberts/ for more info or to place your order.
–Nick Roberts
A Sunday Blonde
A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me”….. “Babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?”
“Yes, dear.” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up, and she wouldn’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But then when I have a baby,” responded the blonde teenager “won’t it knock my teeth out?”
–from Bob T.
Ken Miller Project Bike Tease We’ve covered a couple of Ken’s top quality customs on Bikernet. He hand builds and paints a couple of bikes a year.
QUICK REMINDER From WhiteHorse Press
Like many of you, we’re getting ready for the summer touring season, which for us starts next week with a visit to Americade at Lake George, New York. As I pulled out our trusty Airhawk Seat Cushions to help with those extra miles, I was reminded that right now we have a nice supply on hand and at an especially favorable price (which truthfully, won’t last forever). So, if you’ve been wanting to buy an Airhawk, now’s the time to do it to take advantage of our low price, $149.95. You’ll be glad you did.
Click on the link below to check out the sizes and designs, and to order one especially suited for you. Pillion cushions for your passengers are also available and provide “whine-free” riding for hours on end. http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0306&id=cvra Airhawk’s Dry Flotation technology eliminates painful pressure points and promotes consistent blood flow for a longer, cooler, more comfortable ride.
Today’s Laugh
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow out of our air hole at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.”
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, “Let’s swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.” At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
“Look”, she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.”
–from Bob T.
Embedded Replacement Heads In Iraq My Brother RJ is a Senior NCO in the 3rd Cav in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. He should be able to give you your tank shot with a Bikernet Sticker. I’ve included a pic of him. I gave him your e-mail in case you want to have some biker-based news (no bullshit).
–Doc
Please take the poll and choose “Not support a helmet law”
Please forward this to other biker rights activists and ask them to take the poll! The State Paper has long been anti-biker and will not even accept a paid ad from ABATE of SC. http://www.thestate.com/mld/thestate/5965688.htm
FastFred – http://www.fastfreds.com
Low Country Area Coordinator – lowcountry@abatesc.com
ABATE of South Carolina – http://www.AbateSC.com
MRF – Motorcycle Riders Foundation – http://www.mrf.org
SOLR – Sons of Liberty Riders – http://www.solriders.net
Learn the Five Steps to Liberty at
http://www.abatesc.com/five-steps-liberty.htm
Join the ABATE of SC email list at
http://www.abatesc.com/mail-list/join-list.htm
“In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man and brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.” Samuel Clemmens
–from Buzz
Not My Girlfriend
I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, quite a lot, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, which made me feel uncomfortable.
One day she called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me hat she couldn’t overcome. So before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once.
What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.
So, she said, I’ll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door…
I opened it, and stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, “We are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn’t have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family, son”.
Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in your car.
–A Friedman
Beach Ride Bike Supports Charity Event–Sept 7
“Waz’zup?,” I mumbled into the phone mouth piece.
“UPS delivered some boxes,” Bandit’s testosterone tainted baritone rumbled over the phone line tersely.
“Boxes? Wow! Could it be the mechanized blow-up doll from Hot to Trot Novelty Co., I ordered?”
“Nah, ya’ pervert,” Bandit snapped shortly, ” it’s the Goliath bike–in-a-box from Custom Chrome we’re building for the Beach Ride Raffle.”
“All right,” I said eagerly, ” can we chop the frame?”
“Nope.”
“Can we take grinder to the gas tank?”
“No way.”
“Well, can we peen the fenders?”
“Not on your life,” the tone of his voice took on an irritated rasp.
“What the hell are we supposed to do with this pile of parts?” I hollered into the phone.
“We’ve been selected,” he explained with paternalistic condescension, “to build a bike for American Rider and the Beach Ride.”
My experience with building bikes is varied but limited. I’ve got a tolerable mechanical sense, ‘righty tighty-lefty losey.’ I worked on Bandit’s Blue Flame, his infamous deer-killer Buell, the new Road King, the ‘years in the making’ Amazing Shrunken FXR, and assorted other rolling stock. This one will be ‘by the book’, no radical hammer and weld monster. Kind of the opposite of a Jesse James build.
It will have the K.R. Ball touch, but we need to move fast. The event takes place September 7, at the Queen Mary in Long Beach California. Watch it come together here and in American Rider.
–Nuttboy
Buster’s Harley-Davidson
A woman goes into Buster’s Harley-Davidson & Hunting Shop to buy her ol’ man some chrome goodies and a new rod and reel for Christmas. She first shops the hunting section but doesn’t know which rod & reel to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There’s an old saddletramp salesman standing there with dark riding shades on. She says, “Excuse me, Sir…can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m blind, but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.”
She didn’t believe him but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, “That’s a 6′ graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line…It’s a good, all around, rod and reel , and it’s $20.00.”
She says, “It is amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it’s what I’m looking for, so I’ll take it.”
He walks behind the counter to the register, she bends down to get her purse and farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, “That will be $25.50.”
She says, “But didn’t you say it was $20.00?”
He says, “Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50.”
–from Chris T.
Handmade And Ingraved Crossbow
A master knife designer and fabricator has now used his talents to create a one of a kind Crossbow. For more info contact Daniel: Sverdlin@aol.com.
Old Biker Lesson
An old biker went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the Biker and asked, “Are you a real Biker?”
He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life ridin’, wrenchin’, breathin’, and dreamin’ motorcycles, so I guess I am.”
She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women.”
The two sat sipping in silence.
A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old biker and asked, “Are you a real biker?”
He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”
–from Stroker
Beach Ride Biker Progress Report
$425.00 later, the Goliath from CCI is on it’s way to Dallas to Custom Powder Coating. I marked the rims for powder coating but forgot to ask Steve to smooth the edges of the gusseted area near the front of the frame. The Fed Ex shipment is due in Dallas, Wednesday the 4th of June.
The tanks are at Matson Radiator for boiling, seal and leak testing and will also be ready for pick up on the 4th..
Assuming Steve can return the frame etc. by the 13th, Santini can have the paint complete by the 27th latest. How does this fit in with your construction/ writing timeline?
I have been looking at rear fender brackets and your are right, ours are boring and ugly. Whaddaya think about radiusing the edges and or beveling the edges? I think I favor radius. Howzabout before chroming, we have the Beachride biker/surfer engraved in the forward section of the bracket. It is subtle and commemorative.
Ride on Bandit!
George
George has been a longtime supporter and sponsor of the Exceptional Children’s Foundation, which is the charity that benefits from the Beach Ride. He is sponsoring the Beach Ride bike this year.
Ponderables
The following is something to ponder: If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep … you are richer than 75% of this world.
–from Rev Carlr
RubberTail Aireliner Revealed
This is the true TrackTrack from Wil Phillips, the man who designed the Rubbertail monoshock, rubbermounted softail frame. This unit is designed to take the wobble out of the touring chassis. We’ll look into it further and bring you reports.
If you want to jump on this puppy contact Wil directly: rubbertailone@netscape.net
Question : Are You A Helpful Person?
See the following scenario.
You are out having an afternoon walk through the park when you hear the cries of a distressed lost little girl. You look to the left and discover that the poor lost little girl has spilled her ice cream and is very upset. What do you do?
A. Ignore her and keep walking.
B. Offer to buy her a new ice cream so she shuts up.
C. Offer to help clean up the mess and assist her in finding her way home.
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It’s Sunday, We Need A Break–I’ll mention the packed squalor of the Book Expo once more. I spent some time with Motorbooks International, who recently published Mike Lichter’s book on Sturgis. Check that book out. Mike shot and continues to shoot for ER. He’s the best. Watch for that book to be released for Father’s day. It covers 20 years of Sturgis.
Motorbooks has opened up to the Biker/outlaw spirit with the publication of several books including this one on the East Bay Dragons. Maybe my own Badlands will be next. Let’s hope so.
Yesterday I unloaded a pallet of bricks out of my truck with the help of some of the local kids on the block. I need to get back to the front of the headquarters. There manual labor to be handled under the guidance of Sin Wu, the master brick layer. Then maybe a margarita and a putt.
Ride Forever,
–Bandit
