–from Skooter
It’s almost 11:00 a.m. and the women folk of Bikernet have deserted me. The blonde was kidnapped last night. Sin Wu is chasing her, but she fired up the smoker just before she left. Suppose she’ll be back. What a day yesterday was.
A couple of years ago we tried to make a rule that Sturgis time would be an automatic vacation for the staff since I was galavanting around the Badlands and a majority of our readership were on the road. We also decided that since we’re trying to fight off the hetic elements of our growing weirdo society, that we would take off a couple of weeks at Christmas. The plan is and isn’t working.
Content comes at us like crazy and I can’t turn it down. If it’s good for Bikernet readers, it’s going to be published. Sturgis reports fly at us constantly from the Badlands and since we can post them, why not stay timely. Sure, it means more work. We’ve got Sturgis reports rolling in daily from Crazyhorse, Rogue and Jose. Later this week Frank Kaisler’s babes and bikes will arrive. Skooter, Concrete Pete and others launched daily updates. We can’t hold ’em back.
So yesterday I said no to content and tinkered around the headquarters. Shit, one thing lead to another and I worked until 10:00 p.m. painting and installing a porthole in the door leading to the roof. I made door handles out of old parts, polished copper and ran to the marine salavage yard. Let’s get to the news. I’ll tell ya more later:
LEAK FREE INSPECTION COVER SEAL
Tired of those irritating oil leaks and seepage that always seem to appear around your bikes inspection cover? Well, JAMES GASKETS has the answer with this unique INSPECTION COVER OIL SEAL. The new seal features a solid steel core with molded rubber ribs on both sides. These rubber ribs isolate the complete cover mating surface including screw holes.
Durable and reusable, these problem solving INSPECTION COVER SEALS can be purchased from JAMES GASKETS dealers worldwide.
Call 775-246-2220 for complete details or visit JAMES at http://www.jamesgaskets.com
Sunday Humor
What’s the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky’s mouth?
—-One US leader.
What do you see when the Pillsbury-Dough-Boy bends over?
—Doughnuts.
AVON GETS WIDER AND LOWER
THE Sturgis Rally in South Dakota, was the first appearance of Avon’s latest and widest tire, measuring a full 30mm wider than its predecessor.
It was on display at Sturgis on a bike constructed by Bourget Bike Works.
The company, we are told, has also been addressing the problem of transmission offsets necessary to accommodate fat tires. Avon was happy to work with Bourget and this practical approach should ensure that Avon is still offering a roadworthy product.
The new tire’s official designation is the 330/30R17 87V Venom-R AM42.
This makes it lower in profile than any of the other wide tires that Avon has included in its range so far.
It is suitable for fitting to rims from 11.5 to 12.5 inches in width and is of radial construction.
It can be paired with a radial, bias-belted or cross-ply front tire, but Avon stresses that it has a range of front tire sizes already available to complement the new arrival.
The new size is offered in addition to existing sizes, and all sizes will continue in production.
Avon has also included its rim-protection system into the design.
Usually a feature of top-range car tires, the protection system will help preserve expensive custom wheels from pothole damage.
The new tire is expected to make its first appearance in the United Kingdom in November, at the Motorcycle Show scheduled for the National Exhibition Centre in Birmingham.
AVON TYRES
Melksham, Wiltshire, UNITED KINGDOM
Tel: +44 (0)1225 703 101
Fax: +44 (0)1225 707 880
E-mail: mailto:info@hoppe-hsi.com
http://www.avonmotorcycle.com
Still think you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
–from Skooter
Lottermann’s Bikes Catalog
THE latest catalog from Lottermann’s Bikes offers European style applied to an impressive variety of parts and accessories. The range of Zero Cool parts moves ahead with new ideas.
Zero Cool is based on a ground-up build of a complete bike, with all the parts offered for sale as separate items.
The catalog has ideas and components to either create a complete bike from a choice of styles or to add custom details; from old school choppers right up to V-Rods.
Lottermann’s craftsmanship is not confined to billet aluminum as the catalog lists plenty of alternatives in steel.
LOTTERMANN’S BIKES –from AMD Five Kinds of Sex The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, “Fuck you!” There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife fucks you in front of everyone in court. –from Bob T. STD High Performance Twin Cam 88 Head Assemblies STD Complete Head Assemblies for Twin Cam Harleys feature a proven bathtub design for maximum performance. All STD heads are precision cast with 48,000 lb. tensile strength aluminum with high flow engineered ports and combustion chambers. Available stock with a fully hand blended valve job for the ultimate street engine, or with optional full hand port and polishing throughout for maximum horsepower and torque on the track. These heads feature a 78 cc chamber that works with both stock Twin Cam 88 and larger 95 cubic inch motors. Compression with the stock 3.750 in. bore Harley piston is an improved 9.36:1 ratio for impressive bolt-on performance, increasing to 10:1 with an oversize 3.875 in. bore. Drop in our even higher compression STD / J&E Pistons, perhaps a hotter set of cams, and you’re really ready to rumble! Just give us a call for complete information and suggestions on our matching range of pistons and cams for street and track. All head assemblies are complete with a 175 lb. spring kit, cast iron guides, Viton rubber seals, one-piece stainless steel oversize valves (1.940 in. Intake, 1.615 in. Exhaust) and a completely hand blended valve job for maximized flow, horsepower & torque. You can run up to .600 in. lift camshafts w/ up to 0.200 in. TDC lift without modifications. Heads can be ordered for single or dual spark plugs, stock or oversize valves. STD also offers a full line of performance head assemblies for all Harley applications, plus there own line of STD Performance Big Twin Engines For both street and track. For additional information and pricing mail call STD direct at Phone 818-998-8226. For additional information contact: STD Development, Rich or Terry, ph 818.998.8226 SAMSON Sturgis Report Sturgis was very busy this year. It may have been a record crowd. I heard 750 thou. The bar did great and we are going to look for more companies that would like to have private parties at the bowling alley. The party we had for Hot Bike drew many people and it was big fun. Something different. I took many pics. Well, it’s getting to be a ghost town around here already. Many people got confused and came a week early. Many of the vendors packed it in yesterday and headed out by the afternoon. We will pack up today, then have our annual employee party this afternoon, which we invite fellow vendors to attend, the ones who stuck around, anyway. Free food and drinks, ya can’t argue with that. I always felt free food always tasted better anyway. We will get that Knuckle, you loaned to the museum, for ya. Just let the museum know we will pick it up on our second trip. –Kenny Samson
Soltau-Wolterdingen, GERMANY
Tel: +49 (0)519 114 990
Fax: +49 (0)519 118 569
E-mail: 
Or mail $5 for the latest STD Catalog. Visit STD online at www.STDdevelopment.com
STD Development Company, P.O. Box 3583, Chatsworth, CA 91313. 
CrazyHorse from Sturgis
Still on the road home from Sturgis. What a wild time. I ride the hell out of that gooseneck. Tore up those canyon roads. That long bike just loves the curves. I’ll have a great report for you!
Hey thanks for thinking of me for that American Rider article! It’s getting late so I’ll finish up my draft for you and email it off tomorrow (Sun) night when we stop for the evening.
–Jo
Two New Jon Towle Charity T-Shirts We’ve added two new designs of TBearWear T-Shirts to our line up. We think they’re killer.
“I AIN’T YER BRO” kind of sets the tone as soon as you enter a room full of Metro-Sexual wannabees and a heart warming family portrait parody of America’s First Family of Dysfunctional Dementos to say “I’m too busy living and riding to watch TV”.
Proceeds from the sale of these shirts goes to help International Children’s Charities so you can feel good about yourself while letting the world know that you’re not just a Wally-World Weekend Warrior.
We’ll keep adding to our line up so check back often and once again, Thank You for your support,
–TBear
http://www.tbearwear.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Cager Ran
Me Off The Road Today
Had The Nerve To Stop
See If I Was Ok?
~
As I Tried To
Walk It All Off
I Could Of Swore
I Heard Him Say
Fucking Dirt Bag Biker
Just Fucked Up
A Beautiful Day
~
Fucking Cell Phone Jockey
Thinks I’m To Blame
I Give Him The Bird
As He Locked His Car Doors
This Mother Fucker
Has Allota Nerve
~
I Can Ride Anywhere
I Fucking Please
Open Your Eyes
Clean Out Your Ears
I Don’t Run These
Drag Pipes To Annoy You
It’s For My Safety
Loud Pipes Save Lives
What I Tell You Is True
~
Ahhh Shit Here Come
The Cagers With A Badge
Self Absorbed Assholes
Throwing Questions At Me
Pointing Fingers , Waven Guns
Treating Me Like I’m
The Guilty One
~
Cuff Me, Toss Me
In The Back Seat
Take Down My Info
Interrogate Me
Check For Warrants
Find Out Im Squeaky Clean
~
Guilty By Association This Time I Slide On By ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother Fuckers Got
This All Wrong
I’m Not The One To Blame
~
Is What I Am
Worthless Trouble Maker
In The Eyes Of “The Man”
Just Looking For Reasons
To Lock Me Up
~
May Not Be So Lucky
Next Time
Just Had To Get
These Thoughts Off Mind
Composed By Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World
FREE EXHAUST SYSTEM–JUST FILL IN SURVEY
Just click on the banner above and check it out. No big deal, but you are showing support for Bikernet.com. This will blow your mind. This marketing agency has run banners and requests on several bike mag site with little response.
Here’s what they said, “Dude, We already have had 100+ people take the survey today! As of two days ago we only had 157 after being on XXXX’s site for two weeks. We are over 300 now! Pretty cool, huh?”
That was after a day on Bikernet. The next day we received the following report, “We now have 406! I need 660 total. Maybe we’ll get what we need over the weekend,” said Bill T.
Thanks for taking to time to fill out the survey. Hopefully a Bikenet reader will receive the exhaust system.
–Bandit
Kid Rock Rumored Arrested
A rumor that sprang up in Sturgis motorcycle rally Wednesday afternoon and seemed to take on a life of its own today, is apparently not true.
Kid Rock, a.k.a. Robert James Ritchie, 33, has not been arrested on drug charges in Pennington County, Meade County or any other South Dakota county that the Rapid City Journal could find.
“Nope,” Meade County Sheriff Ron Merwin said when asked this morning if such an arrest had been made. Calls to Pennington County authorities and the South Dakota Attorney General’s Office produced similar answers.
Kid Rock was indeed in the neighborhood of the Sturgis rally. He was the headliner on the stage at the Buffalo Chip Campground concert venue east of Sturgis.
By Dan Daly, Journal Staff Writer
–from Rogue
Stealth Report by Meanest (his lovely wife)
When Stealtman was in the emergency room last Friday, I had a bad scare. He had an MRI done, he was in terrible pain, and then came the bad news. There was a tumor at the base of his spinal cord, causing problems with his bladder and he had to have surgery. The ER doc sent us across town to a neurosurgeon. Only a few times in my life have I prayed so hard. The neurosurgeon admitted Mike right away and surgery was scheduled for Saturday morning. One good thing about hospitals, they have the best drugs! Stealthman was feeling no pain Friday night. The only pain I felt was in my heart.
As I sat alone in the surgical waiting room Saturday morning I remembered the first time I met Mike, and how he introduced me to his world, his attitude, his beliefs, and his way of life. The world of bikers.
When I came to work at Harley-Davidson of Charlotte over four years ago I knew nothing about bikes or bikers. I felt out of place, an outsider. Mike took me under his wing and we became fast friends. He introduced me to Skeletor, his ’91 springer softail, and gradually educated me about styles, customs, designs and he taught me about biker history.
Mike would reminisce about the ’70s and early ’80s when he was a very young man and how he read every issue of Easyriders magazine. He told me how he dreamed of the day he would own his own bike. As he shared those stories with me I started to understand what being a biker meant to him.
“Yeah, if you have the money you can buy a bike,” he would explain, “but being a biker is in your heart, it’s who you are.” I understood, I felt it in my heart and I caught the fever.
Before long our friendship deepened and we realized that we loved each other. Mike had been in relationships with other women who liked to ride in the beginning, but they had all lost interest eventually. Was the biker way of life for me? Only time would tell.
Mike took me on poker runs, to the Easyriders show, the Smoke Out and Daytona bike week. We went to other Harley shops, small bike shops and bike shows. Together we watched TV shows about bikes and bike builders. He taught me the difference between a pan head and a shovel. He showed me old bikes and new bikes, some his style, many weren’t. We agreed to disagree about styles and details! Most important he continued to show me by example what being a biker was all about. I paid very close attention.
One of the most important lessons Mike taught me was that as a biker, you are never without a friend. Your brother is your brother, no matter what, through thick or thin. You always have something in common. Different people, varied backgrounds, different lifestyles, but that very important common bond — that feeling in your heart, the feeling in your soul, knowing this is who and what you are, and that others understand it and appreciate it. I felt very privileged to be a part of something so special.
Hours and minutes spent in a surgical waiting room pass very slowly. Images flashed in my mind like flipping through a scrapbook. I pictured Mike’s eyes lighting up as he described his next bike project. I could almost feel his touch on my leg, remembering the last time we rode together, just a few nights ago . .
Finally, the wait was over and my prayers had been answered. The tumor was not malignant, the surgery was successful and Mike would be fine. I laughed and cried at the same time. Even though Mike has a long recovery ahead, there will be more rides, more bike shows, another Run For Breath. I should have know better than to worry about Mike being around. When he married me in June he promised me at least 50 years. How could he leave me when I have so much more to learn from him?
Mike introduced me to a way of life, faithful friends and a commitment that will be with me the rest of my days. I am so lucky and blessed to have Mike, to have our friends, to have discovered this life.
I love you, Stealthman. I can’t wait for the rest of our 50 years together!
Love and kisses,
Meanest
Choppers Only Best Of Show Bike To Be featured In American Iron
That Panhead was the brain child of myself, and my three buddies. I’ve loved the old school look for a while now and I’m now starting to build for a few special people bikes just like this one. Each one uses one-off parts as well as different paint choice and options. The bikes start at 17K and go up to 24K depending on options.
Me and Tom P from Damons were talking about his build-off and I helpd alittle with his project. I’m in the process of getting ready to build my next old school runner.
Can’t wait to see my bike in a mag and on Bikernet.
— Mahalo, Adam
THE SMOKER’S COOKIN’–We’re knockin’ off, firing the barbecue, smokin’ Salmon and working up some summer drinks. Get this one. We were turned on to a Lemon Drop Martini. No gin, but Sky or Absolute vodka, simple syrup (water and sugar boiled then cooled) and a squeeze of Lemon. Killer refreashing. Try one.
So back to the beginning. We try to slow down from time to time, but if I’m not chasin’ women, then I’m building bikes, riding, writing or working on this joint. I need more women around here. In fact where are they?
Let’s Ride,
–Bandit
