Hey It’s Sunday,
We’re supposed to be out riding, just sipping coffee after a long night in the sack, tinkering around the pad or on the bike. For some reason I can’t get enough sex. I keep thinking about the woman in Berkley who is attempting to legalize prostitution.
What the hell? Wouldn’t that prevent affairs that destroy lives, unwanted pregnancy, etc? Wouldn’t it prevent a level of frustration that causes people to do insane acts. Wouldn’t it be cool, if men and or women could just pull into a local sexual clinic, get laid, and go about their business with a smiles on their faces? Okay, I’m dreamin’ let’s hit the news:
New Bike Mag Comin’
Good to talk to you yesterday. I have a lunch meeting set up on Friday at a restaurant of the 405 Frw, Rosco exit. My layout, copy editor, printing plant manager and probably sales manager will be there talking about how to get the first issue printed for Sema. I have a booth booked. So I really hope you can attend. But we can have some phone meetings as soon your Alaska trip is over.
Please meet Beathe, she is a Norwegian model friend of mine that was just here and did some shoots for me..
–Peter
A GIRL’S PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep.
One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
One who’s willy’s thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When promises to call, he won’t wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
and when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind,
knows just what to say, when I ask “How big’s my behind?”
One who’ll make love till my body’s a twitchin,
in the hall, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
and never attempt to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the dickhead you sent me instead.
Amen.
A BOY’S PRAYER
I pray for a girl who gives great head.
Amen.
–from Chris T.
You’ll have to watch this episode on October 11th to see the bike.
Monster Garage Fan Club I’m the producer of the Monster Garage fan site on Discovery.com http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/monstergarage/monstergarage.html. For just about every episode I’ve conducted an interview with one or more team members from that cast, and I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a Q&A with us online for your episode, which is scheduled to air on Oct. 11. The section is extremely popular with fans and, well, we love it, too.
To see some of our past interviews, please see: http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/monstergarage/pass/pass.html
They generally consist of 10 or so questions about the build (how you got on the show, what you thought of the challenge, your greatest triumph/frustration, etc.) and your own background, with one-paragraph (and sometimes one-sentence) answers. This is all done by email, and I’d be happy to link to any Web site you have, if you’d like. (http://www.bikernet.com/, right?) We’d also just need a digital picture of you for the page, which would launch after your episode airs. I’m just trying to work ahead a bit. For a change. Many thanks,
Kristen Lomasney
Interactive Producer
Discovery Channel Online
One Discovery Place
Silver Spring MD 20910
Sure, I’m up for it.–Bandit
~~~~~~~~~~~
Voodoo Child Fills The Air
So Thick You Could
Cut It With A Knife
Bloody Knuckles Bleed
As My Hand Slips
Off That Bolt
For The Third Time
Cussing The Heat
Shirt Soak With
Sticky Sweat
Skeeters Biting
At My Arms And Back
The Wind Calls Me
So I Keep Up The Pace
Soak My 8th shop towel
Must Be 120 In Here Today
Drink A Cold Beer
Take A Quick Piss
Then Back To My Pan
To Finish It
Adjust The Lash
Spend My Last
Five Dollars On Gas
Kick Her Over
No Fucking Spark
Now Whatsa Matter
Come On Baby
I Need Ya To Start
Kick Her Again
And Again And Again
Finally She Fires
And Zaps Me In The Leg
Coils Loose
Tighten That Up
Now It’s Time To Play
Out Into The Drive Way
Down The Alley
To The Open Road
Crack The Wick
Gettin Sideways
As The Tire Lets Go Sweat Drys
Knuckles No Longer Bleed
Bug Bites Don’t Itch
In The Wind Once Again
This Is What I Really Need
Grab My Last Gear
Getting Lost In Thought
Hypnotised By The Sound
Of 74 Inches Of V-Twin
A Smile Returns To My Face
As I Pick Up The Pace
Bike Chugs
Bringing Me Back
To Reality
Switch to The Reserve
Head On Back Home
Wait On The ‘Ol Lady
Soon She Will Be Home
Then Me And My Goddess
Will Take To The Back Roads
Maybe Pull Over
Watch The Sun Set
Composed By Panhead Josh Of Outlaws World
Bitter End Bike Feature …For an awesome article, Bandit. Muchos gracias…
You are cooler than cool.
Big Daddy Al Wilkerson
Bitter End – Old School Choppers
http://www.bitterendchoppers.com
812-752-5182
I don’t know how cool I am, but that bike was wild. Check the feature listed on the home page or in the Bike Barn, bike feature department of Bikernet.–Bandit
Bikernet Reader Wins Hooker Header Reader Survey Exhaust System
Bandit, See below. This is the guy who won our survey contest. You can tell your group he was the winner and that it was a Hooker survey, if you want to. He did learn about it on Bikernet.com.
Thanks again for the help!
–Bill Tichenor
Marketing Manager
Holley Performance Products
1801 Russellville Road
Bowling Green, KY 42101
(270)745-9547
fax 9544
Hi Bill, Thanks for picking me as the winner of the survey. I would like to try a set of Hooker pipes for my bike. I would like a set of the new step tuned pipes, part # 27815HKR. my bike is a 1999 FXST, with mild engine modifications.
Once again Thanks for picking me as a winner.
Jeff Torevell
Victory Unleashes New Model
Victory Motorcycles invites you to ride the open roads of Austin, Texas, at our exclusive press event for the 2005 Victory Hammer.
The Hammer represents a new take on the American motorcycle, and what better place to ride the Hammer than in Texas Hill Country.
The entire Victory team is extremely excited about giving you the opportunity to experience first-hand the balance of power, handling and comfort the Hammer delivers.
We believe you and your readers will be truly impressed by the Hammer, as well as the other 2005 Victory models.
We’ll be there and report back on the new Victory model. If you get a chance straddle and ride a Vegas. You’ll be surprized.–Bandit
Howard Kelly Shown The Door
Howard Kelly is no longer the editor of Hot Bike Magazine. Frank Kaisler, the previous editor of Easyriders and Hot Rod Bikes is being considered for the job. It would be great to have someone like Frank as editor that we have all known for years. If any of our guys that deal with Hot Bike could put in a good word for Frank, I am sure he would appreciate it.
–Craig Germeroth
Fellow Hamster
Kawasaki Announcement
Kawasaki is proud to announce that you can now find the latest news about our products, racing results and corporate information on our all-new Web-based media site, www.KawasakiMedia.com.
KawasakiMedia.com provides access to news features, press releases, interesting story ideas and corporate information; you can also download high-resolution digital images. The KawasakiMedia.com site will also become the primary distribution point for important “breaking” news from Kawasaki Motors Corp., U.S.A. You will be notified by E-mail when selected, key information items are available on the site.
Just log on to KawasakiMedia.com or go to Kawasaki.commedia. Please note that you will need to register on the web site in order to download images. Once approved, we will send you confirmation by E-mail.
Russel Brenan High Definition Samurai On Wheels Thomas Horton Associates, Inc. ( The program focuses on the enormous popularity of Japanese motorcycles around the world. Rising from the ashes of World War II, Japan was in desperate need of cheap transportation and of developing jobs for their workers. In 1947 Sochiro Honda created that nation’s first motorcycle to take the worldwide market by storm. Within 15 years Japanese manufacturers had become so successful at designing and producing affordable, clean running, and unique motorcycle designs for every need, that they forced several well established brands out of business ? such as Matchless, BSA and Triumph. Even American brands such as Harley-Davidson were being given a run for their money by the innovative designers from the East. –from Sasha Gotta love them grandmas “… there were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman’s shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, “Ma’am, don’t you care about the children of Iraq?” The old woman looked up at her and said, “Honey, my first husband died in France during World War II so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth your country. And if you touch me again, I’ll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it.” –from Skooter Web Site Of The Week Check http://www.metalmaddness.com>www.metalmaddness.com these model choppers are take 200 hundred to make over 250 parts no other bikes like these in the world. You’ ve got to get one of these. I’m also making smaller scale 2-inch wheels and 4-inch wheels. these are less expensive and they’re not on the site, but will be soon as the pictures come back. — Mike Peery Ride For Rita Event Wanted to send you an update regarding the Ride for Rita event, September 25, 2004, that you posted to your news section a few weeks back as it looking to be one of the big events in the Chicago area this riding season. If you could post a follow-up news item as a reminder of the event and include a link to our web it would be greatly appreciated. I have also included a copy of our most current flyer for additional information on the event. New Items: S&S Mr. Hadayia Now Director of Sales LA CROSSE, WI (August 31, 2004) S&S is pleased to formally announce the appointment of Charlie Hadayia to Director of Customer Development. This announcement precedes the announcement of the formation of a comprehensive Customer Training & Certification program. Mr. Hadayia was formerly the Director of Sales for S&S Cycle and will now direct another strategically important initiative after consolidating sales the past year and half. Aside from over five years experience at S&S, Charlie has enjoyed a rich background in all facets of the V-Twin performance industry from dealer service manager and mechanic to competitive racer. Over the next several months, S&S Cycle will complete development of the Customer Training & Certification program. It will aggressively use the web as an educational medium and precursor to more rigorous and ?hands-on? training at the new S&S Proven Performance Training Center that is currently being remodeled in La Crosse, WI. For more information, please contact Charlie Hadayia at 608-627-0292 or at mailto:chadayia@sscycle.com. The S&S website is located at http://www.sscycle.com/>www.sscycle.com Sasha Reports From Gasoline Alley, NY I’m attending Indian Larry’s memorial today. We were all at his garage last night….You can well imagine the tire burnouts in his memory. Folks were getting tattooed with the official Indian Larry memorial sticker, of which I have one in my possession for you, dearest. Love,
Trade/Enthusiast Media Supervisor
Kawasaki Motors Corp., U.S.A. 
mailto:themadster@earthlink.net 
1: We will be live on the radio show “Open Road Radio” which is a nationally syndicated radio show and airs on 105.9 WCKG at 8pm (central time).
2: 95.9fm The River will be at our event.
Firefighter/Biker Alliance
www.firefighter-biker-alliance.org 
–Sasha 
The Desert Loner Report Heres better photos of my Softail….. Changed out the bars and wheels. Spent the whole day riding…. The weather has been great…
–Bob T
Bikernet Medical Department Report
A man’s balls turned brown and he was worried so he made an appointment with his doctor. When he got home from the appointment he sat down in his chair in the living room. He hollered for his wife to come from the kitchen. After a while when she didn’t come he hollered again. After the third time she hollered back, “I haven’t got time. I am fixing dinner; I have clothes here to iron, the baby is crying and needs changed. I don’t have time to wipe my ass.
He said,” That’s what I want to talk to you about”.
–from Rogue
Sunday Quote–From one free spirit to another, may the wind always be your freind, and the love of your tribe be with you on the greatest ride.
–Ron
Sunday Cantina Health Warning–
For those of you who watch what you eat. Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
–from Katmandu
Pink Panhead Discovered
Glad to hear you are back from your trip. I thought I would send these pictures of my buddy Tom’s ’61 Panhead. Maybe you can run them on the Sunday Post? Apes and Panheads, it don’t get any better!
Later!
–Stealth Reporter, N.C.
Doesn’t the owner know that Pink bikes are against the Male Code of the West?–Bandit
Astrological After-sex Comments
Aries: “Okay, let’s do it again!”
Taurus: “I’m hungry pass the pizza.”
Gemini: “Have you seen the remote?”
Cancer: “When are we getting married?”
Leo: “Wasn’t I fantastic?”
Virgo: “I need to wash the sheets.”
Libra: “I liked it if you liked it.”
Scorpio: “Perhaps I should untie you.”
Sagittarius: “Don’t call me I’ll call you.”
Capricorn: “Do you have a business card?”
Aquarius: “Now let’s try it with our clothes off!”
Pisces: “What did you say your name was again?”
–Rogue
Indian Larry Tribute Sign Check this sign out..we made it in class for the tribute party at gasoline alley. Cox called me Friday and said they got it and would be displaying it at the party.
–KB
From The Don’s Files As an old Italian Mafia Don lay dying he called his grandson to his bed. “Grandson”, I wanna you lisin to me. I want for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver, so you will always remember me.
“But,” whined the grandson, “I really don’t like guns, Grandpa. How about leaving me your Gold Rolex Watch instead?”
“You lisinna to me,” responded the Don.. “Somma day you goina be runna da bussiness.. You gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambini.”
“Somma day you goina coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whatta do you goina do then? Point to your watch and say, “Times up?”
–from Skooter
NO MORE DEAD SALMON FISHIN’ FOR ME–Suppose I spent too many days in the chilly Alaskan wilderness without the opposite sex. But, what the hell, a man’s got to dream and keep dreamin’. Where would life be without that next custom bike, that next dream ride across the country or the next babe that winks and shows you just enough tit to let you know she’s ready.
Let’s get the hell out of here. Next week I hope to start mocking up my ultimate chopper. I have some surprizes in store that will blow your mind. Hang on.
Ride Forever,
–Bandit
