HORSE, Bikernet, Brass Balls Sub Sweepstakes Build Part –Screw it, the Final Episodes

Hey, this is going to be an earth-shattering episode in this build series. I know, you just want to see progress. You want to watch the staff of Brass Balls Bobbers & Choppers build you a killer bike you’re going to win, snatch up at the Smoke Out 2011 in Rockingham, NC, and ride like a bat outta hell for the rest of your life.

That’s all happening, and dutifully I will pencil a full report below, but let me tell you the really good news.

Haley, the girl of my dreams, the babalicious mascot for this project and a back-up singer for the band America, is returning to the fold. She was masterfully sucked from the Oklahoma plains into the drug-like neon nirvana of Las Vegas, but they couldn’t hold her down-to-earth self, and she’s back. That news made my day.

Quickly, I want to tell you a story about Dar Holdsworth, the rapid-fire boss of Brass Balls Bobbers, the company that volunteered to build this bike for you, the HORSE lucky winner reader. Dar scrambles. He had a highly successful high-tech product company, a family, and a farm in Oklahoma. He was a clean-cut, wholesome sort of short guy, with close-cropped hair and a broad smile. Then he fell under the chopper trance. He blew up his family, shut his company down, and started to build bobbers, as if he was addicted to meth. He didn’t just build a goddamn custom motorcycle, leave his wife and hit the road. He started a company, in the middle of this bullshit recession, and builds bikes like a man possessed. I know, he’s nuts, but he brought his family values into the outlaw fold.

I don’t know how this guy makes a living; he’s too busy building bikes for charities including the Daytona Beach Community Foundation, Veterans charities, etc. But there’s damn good news ahead. Brass Balls just hired another experienced technician, Justin, who will work directly with Dar on special project builds. The HORSE project is rolling onto a final build Brass Balls lift. As of this issue, the special-built, stretched Paughco Brass Balls wishbone rigid frame will feel neck cups and Timken bearings take position to accept the all American-made Paughco tapered leg classic wide springer, a set of risers and Brass Balls 69 chopper bars. Metzler Tires have been mounted to the Paughco spoked wheels, and with purely American-made Paughco axles, the bike will be a roller at last.

Next, Justin will mount the Brass Balls seat pan. It will ultimately be hand-etched by Kyle Hix of Xebec Leather Studio. Seat suspension is handled by the master of Rocks Shocks for mountain bikes. We’re rolling now with controls and brakes from Jay Brake, and next issue, Haley promises to work with Justin, mounting the lead sled rear fender and the Brass Balls rubber-mounted gas tank and oil bag. Dar was already pondering the paint scheme as we hung up. Don’t miss next issue or your chance to win this hot Brass Balls Chopper.

Here’s the next episode that ran in the Horse

We’re back, and there’s progress from the Brass Balls shop where they plan to build 60 choppers this year, plus this special-built HORSE chopper, for the magazine’s first ever subscription sweeps.

Rumor had it that Haley, our cheerleader for this build, was causing a shop stir between Tim and Brian, Dar’s staff builders.

“She’s mine, goddamnit,” I told Dar. “Clean her up and ship her to California.”

He didn’t pay much attention, as he was the acting staff photographer, snapping shots of Tim measuring the tank, while positioning then welding in the last LA Choprods rubber-mounted bung. Then he worked with Haley on positioning the stripped and stretched Biker’s Choice Sporty tank level with the backbone of the frame.

“We cut off all the standard mounting crap,” Dar said. They positioned the tank so the handlebars cleared and still reached the fork stops without banging the tank. “That usually leaves us with a few fingers of space in front of our seat mounting system and air bag seat suspension system.”

Brian, the longhaired member of the staff, brushed against my Haley as they installed the Timken neck bearings and standard stock length Paughco chromed-out, tapered-leg front end. Then they installed the Paughco front ¾-inch axle and one of the new line of Paughco front spoked wheels, after the Metzler ME880 tire was mounted up.

“That’s the best-looking front end in the industry,” said Dar Holdsworth, the boss of Brass Balls. “That tapered leg front end makes that bike.”

While the staff played grab-ass with my girl, Dar told me about his involvement with two Vet Charities, Pros for Vets, and Steel Anchor, a charity organization for returning sailors.

“Toby Keith just joined Pros for Vets,” Dar said. “On his own dime, Toby has made 160 appearances in Iraq and Afghanistan over the last five years.”

Haley was around while Brian and Tim attached the Brass Balls seat pan and TIG-welded the Rocks Shocks mounting brackets to the frame. The Brass Balls Chopper was taking shape.

Now, with the bike on Paughco wheels, the rear fender will be mounted next, along with the Brass Balls spun aluminum oil tank and D&D pipes. They will decide on whether to build simple fender rails or a sissybar, and then it’s off to paint.

Keep in mind that this tight Brass Balls Chopper could be yours, through the HORSE Subscription Sweepstakes. Just roll to the Horse website, or grab the magazine insert card and fill it out. Some lucky bastard will win this tight chop at the Smoke Out in Rockingham, NC, this hot humid summer, and be able to ride it for years to come to all the HORSE events. What could be better? If you want to read all the chapters on this build, just roll to Bikernet.com and type in HORSE sweeps in the search bar, or click on the Free Departments link and find techs and bike builds. It’s easy, goddamnit.

I can’t imagine winning a bike like this. Generally, you gamble to win some stocker, then need to strip the daylights out of that puppy before you can roll across town. This way, you get a bike already chopped and ready for the road. Too cool!

–Bandit

Here’s the final episode that ran in the HORSE magazine this year:

Dar Holdsworth, the boss of Brass Balls, skidded to a stop outside his Oklahoma City warehouse after a three-and-a- half-week run to Daytona, where he announced his new bike build for the 70th Anniversary Bike Week Committee and another motorcycle magazine. The traitor. He needed to be at home in Oklahoma building the dream bike for a lucky HORSE reader.

He jammed into his shop and immediately called Bikernet.com. “I was in Daytona, but I’m back,” Dar said, sniveling slightly. “I’ll be all over it tomorrow.”

With all the best intentions in mind, and no sleep for three days, he chucked up a chunk of aluminum bar stock in his company lathe and started to face off the rough end to machine wheel spacers for the Paughco wheels. Then it hit him, just as the third 5-hour energy drink wore off, and he started to fade.

He stumbled into his office stacked high with unread mail, shoved a pile of paper into a bundle to form a pillow, crawled onto his desk, and passed out. That was Monday, the official HORSE deadline engraved into a chunk of railroad tie by the lovely Heather New.

Dar woke up with a start and a two-hit espresso splash of Starbucks coffee and stumbled out to the shop, where he scrambled toward the inventory of Brass Balls exhaust systems built by D&D exhaust. He grabbed a set and headed to the lift with his cell phone pressed against his ear.

“I’m all over it,” Dar said, and fitted the D&D exhaust system to the Brass Balls 69 chopper and pondered mounting tabs to the Paughco frame. “You’ll have the photos by Wednesday.”

I’m the over-confident sort. When he didn’t make the Monday editorial deadline, I stepped right off the plank to negotiate with the hard-ass Englishman, HORSE’s editor. I assured him that the photos were flying together and he would have them by Wednesday. Meanwhile, I would receive an informative call from the master builder himself on the same day, and the stellar, excited, inspirational article would blister his desk by Friday. No problem, right?

Dar finally made it home Tuesday night for the first time in almost a month, and you can imagine the reception. His wife is as indulgent as they come, but he had been missing in action for several weeks, hanging out in one of the most hedonistic cities in the world besides New Orleans during Mardi Gras, and she had a raging tooth ache.

After six hours of explaining and world-class negotiating, four vicodins, and two hours of sleep, he returned to the shop, built the Brass Balls oil tank and installed the Paughco risers to the famous Paughco tapered-leg springer. Anything to get as far from the home front as possible.

Just to relieve his mind of family pressures, a mounting list of calls, and 4000 e-mails, Dar hand-bent the thick wall stainless steel tubing for the handlebars. It was Wednesday and he was hoping to complete enough bike building activity to call Haley, our HORSE Bikernet.com babe representative during this build, for some quick photographs. But then he remembered his all-to-recent sexual-overtone laced discussion with Mrs. Brass. Better leave Haley at home. He installed the bars, picked up the massive glass pack muffler, and held it up to the side of the hot rod. He immediately knew he needed more sleep and crawled onto the top of his over-loaded desk.

His mind was spinning with a well-known bike builder’s to-do list. He still needed to mount the rear fender, taillight, and license plate bracket, figure out the wiring and circuit breakers, brake lines, oil lines, and gas line guides. He needed to build exhaust system mounting tabs, grind the welds, and prepare for paint. He bolted up the forward controls, but needed to figure out the hydraulic brake lines, the caliper mounting brackets and linkage and where to mount the brake light switch.

He still hadn’t thought about the chainguard, fender rails, or a sissybar. He had the Wilwood stainless rotors waiting, but needed to make a run to the fastener store. Then his dentist called. He had never received a call from his dentist in his entire life. He preferred it that way.

“Your wife needs all of her over-grown wisdom teeth removed, now!” the dentists said as if he had been forewarned. “This guy is a biker, and bikers think of motorcycles before anything, including teeth.”

He nailed it for the house to scoop up his petite wife and hauled her cute ass to the dentist’s office. He had maybe 10 hours of sleep since he returned from the shores of Daytona. As he nodded off in the waiting room, Dar mentally looked at the bike and also at an ad for a company pit bike that was manufactured by Hodaka. It had a bright orange frame and goofy chrome tins. So Dar started pondering the 5-Ball color scheme and his Paughco-framed 69 Chopper. How about applying some cool chrome and orange to it?

The guy needs some sleep. Who knows what he will deliver to the SmokeOut? But ultimately, a HORSE reader will own this bike when it is awarded at the Smoke Out, in Rockingham, N.C. this hot-as-hell summer.

Of course, you don’t need to be on hand to receive the prize, but wouldn’t it make your summer to show up, win this bike and ride it home? Chance of a lifetime. Don’t miss it, and don’t miss a chance!

–Bandit

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