BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LIFE’S PLEASUREDOM DISCOVERED BY BIKERNET RESEARCH TEAMHey,

You didn’t know that Bikernet had a university grant to research the essence of life’s pleasures, did you? It creates an interesting quandry. By revealing our findings, our stock will rocket through the tar paper roof of the headquarters. We’ll become filthy rich and loose our grasp on our findings. Snake, our resident bum, Renegade, the angriest man on earth, and Oz, our political analyst, are in a heated debate over whether to unleash the findings to the world. The question is whether to be rich and saddled with time consuming material bullshit, or to wallow in the unrestrained ecstasy of knowing and living within the gilded framework of life’s pleasuredom? While the fist fight is disrupting our stock of busted and broken parts, I have some other announcements…

Bikernet Christmas Tree

Last week I gave thanks to some of the staff for their efforts at Bikernet and their friendship throughout the process. A couple of nights later, I awoke with a start. I knew I would forget someone in my haste to launch the news, and true to poor-form, I did. My mental mistake was also politically incorrect. It was all women and one brother who whines like a woman. Two nights later, the headquarters was broken into and I was lashed to my creaking California King while, one after another, these women sat on my… Believe me, I deserved far worse punishment. First, I forgot to mention Michelle McCarthy, who is no longer with us. In fact, she may now be working with Frank Kaisler at Hot Rod Bikes. Seems she was lured away to some hot dot-com company that shriveled up and blew away. She endured my inability to write for several long and torturous years. There’s the lovely woman who has taken her place recently, Jumpin’ Janet, and the knockout Sundance who founded The Cyber Cycles Bike Show, which is now the Bikernet Cyber Cycles Bike Show. The show is now sponsored by Chrome Specialities and is free to anyone who wants recognition for their custom or roadworthy accomplishment. If you want to enter, check the catagories. We’ve expanded them to include rat bikes and heavily road ridden machines. The prizes have been expanded and when the fight is over in the garage, we will begin creating our own trophies. Believe me, they’re different.

The lovely Sundance.

We are about to launch the entire Chrome Specialties Streetware catalog just in time for Christmas shopping. Watch for it. It contains more than 700 accessories and apparel for us scooter folks.

They can’t seem to come to a decision in the garage, and if they knock over the desk we’re building for little John Butter, I’m going to fly out there swinging. We better get to the news:

A Harley-Davidson Holiday Legend–Arthur Davidson, of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Corp., died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.”

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of woman?”

God said, “Ah, yes.”

“Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.
1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
And finally, 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.”

“Hmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God. “Hold on.” God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. “Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention thanyours.”

–Gunracer

BRAND NEW BOOK ON BIKER MOVIES– Mike Seate, with the assistance of Whitehorse Press, has launched a complete book on every biker movie from The Wild One to On Any Sunday. It’s cool and is available through Whitehorse Press, WhitehorsePress.com.

FOR KNUCKLEHEAD FANS–As the name suggests, Flathead Power in Sweden produces performance parts for Flatheads. However, they also now have a wide range of products for Knuckleheads. In fact, they will supply complete Knucklehead engines and, if required, complete bikes. Single and dual carburetors and even top fuel components and engines are available. Check ’em out at flatheadpower.com.

ORWELL UPDATE–We’re all excited to announce that Sam “Chopper” Orwell is on press today in Menasha, Wisconsin. The books should be in our hands by Wednesday of next week. I’m going crazy.

BIKERNET SUPERBOWL PARTY–Yep, that’s it. At the Blue Cafe in downtown Long Beach. I’ll have books and I’ll be signing ’em like a mad dog. Stop by and meet some of the staff, see us drink and fall down. Be able to blackmail members of the staff for years.

You’ve got to watch the Superbowl somewhere. Get a plane ticket and get out here. Don’t miss it. Be there, be there, be there!

CENTURY MOTORCYCLES ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY DEC. 10–Have you been to a bike shop with character recently? Century Motorcycles has been selling bike parts in San Pedro, Calif., for some 40 years. The business is a combination of museum and junk yard of Eureopean, American and Japanese machines. Cindy, the owner, is the quirkiest bike shop proprietor on the planet. I recently interviewed her for Hot Rod Bikes. When asked what the most pleasurable aspect of owning her shop was, she didn’t hesitate. “The men,” she said emphatically. I’ll probably be there signing books.While I’m at it, check the January issue of Hot Rod Bikes. It contains an interview with the new Evel K., a kid named Bubba Blackwell who has been breaking records all over the country. Check the girl on the cover, too. Oooh ta, too-tah.

BUELL REPORT–We’ve discovered a custom oil cooler designed specifically for Buells. These CNC machined aluminum oil coolers for Buells are made by Ron’s Bike Shop and offered by German custom parts supplier Speed-point. Sold in pairs, they mount on the frame tubes below the gas tank and are available in a choice of polished or black anodized finishes. Check out www.speed-point.com

Mikuni For Sportsters And Buells

Mikuni HSR42 for Sportsters and Buells: Mikuni’s new HSR42 ‘Easy’ carburetor kits for Sportsters and Buells now work with the stock throttle cables, making the HSR42 easier and quicker to install. They are designed with an eight-roller bearing flat throttle slide assembly, which allows an unobstructed venturi at full throttle to flow more air and make more peak power. It offers more precision at all throttle settings to provide additional power, torque and fuel economy gains across the entire power band. The roller bearing throttle slide offers smoother throttle control and allows the use of a lighter throttle return spring. Check out www.Mikuni.com.

Breather and Pipe Kit

Hit 105 mph coming up the four-lane onramp over the weekend.The Buell race breather kit and the Vance/Hines pipe really improved the response on my 2000 M-2.

Installed a pairof Napoleon bar end mirrors to get rid to the stock Mickey Mouse-appearing units. The mirrors install in 10 minutes andcost $30 each. Had some interference with the lever ball ends, so I cut the balls off (neutered) my brake and clutch levers.

Next project is the installation of the carbon fiberX-1 style chin fairing. The fairing and hardware are sold separately. Will provide you with a hardware list after the installation.

–Agent M-2, Anson

Carb ModsOn your carb, start by drilling the slide to .109. This is a nominal/fraction size drill bit. Use the Dyno jet spring or cut two coils off the stock spring for starters. Use the 88 Sportster needle first. A spacer may or may not be needed. I use a .010 spacer under the head of the needle, but my heads have been reworked and flow better than the stock Thunderstorm Buell heads. Also my CV carb is bored.Start with H-D #45 slow jet, which it may already have. For the main jet, start with a stock H-D #185 size. Don’t use a Dyno jet kit! They cost way too much and it ruins your gas mileage.I know you have heard me say this before, but you should call Trock about boring and setting up the carb. I would do the mods above first. Then if you have the time, Dyno the bike. Actually, Dyno it before you do anything for a baseline.Keep notes on every change you do. Then you know what is working and what made the biggest change. I know time is always a problem. But there is really only one way to see what’s going on.Oh yeah, make sure your Buell has an idle speed adjuster cable with a small black knob. It should be by the frame and air box on top. If you don’t have it, get one. Makes setting the idle much less painful than without it.Try just taking the “L” tube inside the airbox out. Put in the plastic Venturi ring from Screamin Eagle. Also a K&N air filter for the air box. I know the air box looks funky to most people, but it does grow on you after a while.What’s good about the thing is it’s really a good still air box.Ah yes, the brakes. As you may have found out, the rear brakes don’t do a whole lot. So you have to learn to front brake. The front brake is one of Buell’s best features. You don’t really need two rotors/calipers for the street. I do agree with you though, it looks trick with a dual disk setup. PM makes the calipers for a dual setup. They are spendy though. Ferodo makes really good rotors and pads, also spendy. Both these guysare in your extensive “Link” page.

As for the shock mount recall, Bartels can run the VIN and tell you.Visually, the recall has an alum. split bell shaped looking cover with two clamps at the rear of the shock. At the front of the shock there is a U-shaped bracket that goes around the shock “eye” and is held in place by a serious two-piece clamping bracket. All this is designed for is tokeep the shock from coming apart if the ends of the shock break, which is very, very rare. It’s that abuse thing again.

I forgot to mention the air/fuel mixture screw on the CV. It’s located on the bottom of the carb, behind the float bowl, under the rear spigot. I drill a small hole (.078 DIA.) in the side of the boss about .100 from the bottom of the boss. This puts me just above the alum. plug and belowthe threads of the mixture.I then take a Snap-on curved pick (hook) and stick it in the drilled hole and push out the alum. plug, which I save.

Start by turning the screw in lightly til it bottoms, not too hard or you will fuck up the screw. Back it out about 2 1/2 turns to start. If this is good, push the plug back in the boss and stake it. Then silicone up the small hole.If the mixture screw gets lost or screwed up, a Kowalski Vulcan CV carb screw can be used. Don’t have the P/N here, it’s at work.

— Paul

Stoppys

Stoppys are front braking rear tire wheelies. If you really need to do this, try doing them starting at 20 mph. Grab a lot of front brake, you’ll feel the rear come up. Be ready to let go of that front brake fast! Bereally careful!I do not recommend any wheelie on a Buell. It is really hard on the rearshock and the front fork neck bearings. I like to check my neck bearings at the 2,500 mile service interveral. I have replaced a lot of these and it’s usually due to abusive riding. Also, the rear shock front mount bolts to the engine case. Lots of stress when you beat on the bike.

Start by grabbing a little more brake than usual at a normal stop. You can feel the rear of the bike lift up. You gotta remember the front brake on a Buell is very powerful and stops you like right now. If you feel comfortable, try them at 20 mph.Also, just put Charlotte, N.C., and drop the Charlotte H-D. Don’t need thephone calls that might come from this info.

Headwork

Also explaining that reworking the heads is really part of the total package but can be done later. This will put them in the 90-plus HP range. Ninety to 100 HP on a Buell is truly a rush.Hope all this helps. Would like to see the “Buell Report” be a success.For what it’s worth, if you’re in Phoenix, look up Scott Jensen. He is the service manager at Glendale H-D. He is a road racer and has raced Buells.He is the guy to see in Phoenix if you need help, ideas, etc. on Buells.That’s it for now.Later, Paul

BANDIT’S BIKER BARS–We have some 100 biker bars listed and shortly we will have the capability to show photos of the best bars in the country. Keep ’em coming. Next year I plan to ride cross country and I’ll need plently of places to gas up.

A WOMAN WAS LEAVING– a 7-Eleven with her morning coffee when she noticeda most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary womanwalking a pit bull dog on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking singlefile.

The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, “I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”

The woman replied, “Well, that first hearse is for my husband.”

“What happened to him?” The woman replied, “My dog attacked andkilled him.”

She inquired further, “Well, who is in the second hearse?”

The woman answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her.” A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the twowomen.

“Can I borrow the dog?”

“Get in line.”

BIG DOG MOTORCYCLES JOINS BIKERNET– Sheldon Coleman, the CEO of Big Dog, and Nick Messner, president, cut their salaries to afford the company the opportunity to become part of the Bikernet team of sponsors. It’s steep, but we’ll make it worth their while. You’ll see the entire line-up of Big Dog Bikes for 2001, plus we hope to assist them with unloading their surplus parts, so watch for more deals in the future.

HANDFUL OF HARDPARTS–Ed Martin of Chrome Specialties has asked me to select a handful of hard parts from their catalog to carry in our shop on Bikernet. I will be looking for unique, quirky and solid shit. What interests me is jockey shifts for Evolutions, and weird shit like that. Watch for them in the StreetWare and Dare area.

BIKERNET SPONSORSHIP PROGRAMS– We have a program for the companies that end up on our home page and we’re still looking for a couple more. We have a limit on how many companies we will take, so we want the best non-competitors. For instance, Daytec is one of the mix as our frame manufacturer. We won’t let any other frame manufacturers into the sponsorship program until their contract is up. We are looking for a brake manufacturer to complement the crew. If you’re in the business and need specific info on this program, drop a note to Oz@bikernet.com. For banner advertising, write Sinwu@bikernet.com. Next week we’ll come out of the closet and post our advertising rates and programs on the site.

NEW PARTS LIST–

1 – 4 Speed Harley transmission fits 1965-1984 Big Twin (rebuilt)$1000.
1 Roadstar 16-inch spoke wheel in box$250.
1 Revtech 16×3 front rally style billet wheel complete$350 each.
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 front Mirage style billet wheel complete$350.
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 rim only Daytona style billet wheel$250.
2 Sturgis front rim hubs non-brake side for single brake set-up$50 each.
1 Sturgis 16×3 1/2 rims only Rally style billet wheel$250.
1 Sturgis 16×5 1/4 Rear Roadstar style billet wheel with brake side hub(needs pulleyside hub available from Sturgis wheel) Sturgis Roadstar billet rear beltpulley $700.
1 Attitude style Sturgis billet rear belt pulley$300.
2 CCI 47-098 70 tooth rear pulley multi-spoke$275 each.
2 American Quantum billet aluminum anti-reversionary front ends – ready tobolt on. $700 each.
5 Billet aluminum inner primarys to fit FXR$500 each.
5 Billet aluminum outer primary covers to fit FXR$500 each.
4 H-D inner primarys to fit FXR$200 each.
10 Sets of 4140 Steel EVO connecting rods$50 set.
5 S&S connecting rod sets part number 34-7010$150 set.
2 Spyke starter jackshaft kits CCI 28-677 big twins 89-93$70 each.
3 5-speed Harley-Davidson taper shaft diaphgram clutch assembly with Kevlarclutch plates $400 each.
Heavy billet aluminum 5-Speed transmission doors polished and bearings$150 each.
7 Jims pinion gears 24045-78 green to 89$30 each.
3 Jims pinion gears 24043-78 red to 89$30 each.
1 set CCI 15-294 6-gallon gas tanks H-D FXST 1984-96 & custom frames$100 set.
5 CCI 13-383 Russell stainless steel disc brake rotors (oem 41813-79) Retail$ 79.95 – Dealer $55.25 – Rogue $50 each.
5 CCI 13-381 Russell stainless steel disc brake rotors (oem 41791-79A) Retail$79.95 – Dealer $55.25 – Rogue $50 each.
1 CCI 09-880 adjustable rear mini shaker floorboard set Retail $ 179.95 -Dealer $116.95 – Rogue $100.
1 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve head front new Retail $295.68 – Dealer $197.12$195.
1 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve head front new Retail $295.68 – Dealer $197.12$195.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-Valve heads front, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads) Retail Price $295.68, – Dealer $197.12 But has guides& seats alreadyinstalled.$150 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve heads rear, minor repair needed on some(guide,seat,threads) Retail Price $295.68, – Dealer $197.12 But has guides & seats alreadyinstalled.$150 each.
1 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve front rocker boxes complete, need to be reshimed$395 each.
1 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve rear rocker boxes complete, need to be reshimed$395 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve front rocker boxes Retail $184.20- Dealer$122.80 $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve rear rocker boxes Retail $184.20- Dealer $122.80$75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve front exhaust rocker arms Retail $159.38- Dealer$106.25 $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve front intake rocker arms Retail $159.38- Dealer$106.25 $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve rear intake rocker arms Retail $159.38- Dealer$106.25 $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve rear exhaust rocker arms Retail $159.38- Dealer$106.25 $75 each.
10 Feuling-Quantum 4-valve rocker box covers Retail $86.52- Dealer $57.68$25 each.
10 dual carb plenums for Feuling-Quantum 4-valve heads Retail $95.07-Dealer$75. $50 each.
10 intake plenum runners for Feuling-Quantum 4-valve heads Retail $87.42-Dealer $58.28 $25 each.
50 Feuling-Quantum intake valves Retail $12.15- Dealer $8.10$8.10 each.
50 Feuling-Quantum exhaust valves Retail $11.03- Dealer $7.35$7.35 each.
50 Feuling-Quantum rocker shafts Retail $17.03- Dealer $11.35$11.35 each
50 Feuling-Quantum Oversize Intake Valve Guides Retail $5.45- Dealer $3.63$3.63 each
50 Feuling-Quantum Oversize Exhaust Valve Guides Retail $5.45- Dealer$3.63 $3.63 each
50 Feuling-Quantum Oversize Intake Seats Retail $7.50- Dealer $5$5 each
50 Feuling-Quantum Oversize Exhaust Seats Retail $7.50- Dealer $5$5
20 Feuling-Quantum Commetic Head Gaskets for Non-O-Ring Heads$15 each.
20 Feuling-Quantum Rocker Box Cover Gaskets w/Sealer built in$10 each
10 Feuling-Quantum Inner Valve Springs $ 4 each
4 Feuling-Quantum Outer Valve Springs $ 5 each
*** 8 Feuling 4-Valve Front Rocker Boxes for Sportster or 4Cam V-Twin$200 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4-Valve Rear Rocker Boxes for Sportster or 4 Cam V-Twin$200 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4-Valve Front exhaust rocker arms for Sportster or 4 CamV-Twin $150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Front intake rocker arms for Sportster or 4 CamV-Twin $150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Rear intake rocker arms for Sportster or 4 Cam V-twin$150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Rear exhaust rocker arms for Sportster or 4 CamV-Twin $150 each.
*** 8 Feuling 4 Valve Plenun chambers for Sportster or 4 Cam V-Twin$100 each.
5 Sets of Billet fender struts to fit Boyce frames$100 set
10 Front Ofset motor mount black powdercoat Boyce frames$25 each
10 Front Ofset motor mount Chrome KB 01-301 Boyce frames$30 each
5 Petcocks CCI 25-253 & Chrome Spec. 260366$10 each
3 Petcocks CCI 27050 Accel$30 each
20 Steel motormount stablizer (turnbuckle complete) rubber mount 5 speeds$40 each
5 FXR Chrome Kickstands$50 each
1 Sumax #8635 Front Fender $100.$50.
1 Sumax #8650 Front Fender $100.$50.
1 Sumax #8651 Front Fender $100.$50.
1 Sumax #8654 Front Fender $156.$75.
1 Sumax #8604 W Rear Fender $158.$75.
1 Sumax #8609 W Rear Fender $127.$60.
1 Sumax #8617 W Rear Fender $114.$55.
1 Sumax #8619 W Rear Fender $119.$60.
1 Sumax #8656 W Rear Fender $192.$95.
3 CCI 13-389 Russel Stainless Oil Lines for FXR 1987 – 1990 Retail$143.95 – Dealer $99.35 – Rogue $80.
3 CCI 13-387 Russel Stainless Oil Lines for Softail 1990 – 1992 Retail$156.95 -Dealer $109.15 – Rogue $90.
1 Dunlop 491 MT90B16-71H Front Tire $70.
1 Metzler Perfect ME-99A (150/80X16) Rear Tire $70.
TO VERIFY SUMAX Fenders Prices and other info e-mail info@sumax.com andask. Other stuff like seats, stainless lines and cables to be listed later as Iam still sorting parts. Prices subject to change and some parts are limited. 4-valve parts are available fully assembled and ready to bolt on. Mail forprices and details

–rogue@bikerrogue.com

HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY– At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Insist that your e-mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

Sing along at the opera.

A November entry in the Vintage Chopper Class sent in by Frank Pedersen of Olathe, Kansas.

CALL FOR ENTRIES–“November will soon be only a distant memory. Hurry now to enter your ride in the Cyber Space Bike Show! Sundance is accepting entries for this month until midnight Nov. 30. The Digital Gangster has made online entry so easy, your 3-year-old could do it! Not to mention, it’s the only place on the Web where you can enter for FREE and still win great prizes!

If you don’t manage to enter by the end of November, no sweat! Sundance runs the bike show every month and she’ll be happy to receive your entry next month. Slide by the bike show if you’d like to check out the current competitors. There are some sharp-looking bikes and some interesting comments. Then watch for the winners to be posted the first week of December. Check it out to see if our talented, unbiased judges picked the bike you liked best!”

BIKERNET BABE FROM THE BIG APPLE REPORT–Oh, I’m writing stuff for Bikers-Dream, not Ultra, though, I should maybehelp out there too.

This Sunday is the annual Toys for Tots run in Queens, N.Y. We get about 20,000attendees. Pretty good. Lots of clubs, city folks, etc. Nice bikes too.If I can make it back into town by then, I’m going. I’ll write some stufffor you and snap photos.

For what it’s worth to ya, I’m going to the opening reception on Dec. 8 forthis too:
The Great New York Motorcycle Show
Dec. 9 through April 10
Exhibition Hall

On Dec. 9, the New York State Museum will open a first-of-its-kindexhibition of motorcycles invented and manufactured in New York state. NewYork pioneered the invention and early manufacture of motorized two-wheelersand continues to produce a rich variety of motorcycles for utilitarian use,pleasure riding and competition. The Great New York Motorcycle Show willinclude them all, from the first motorized bicycles of the 1890s through the77 cubic-inch Emblem touring machines of the 1910s and the dual-purpose(on-off road) Yankees of the 1970s to the exotic custom cruisers of today.The exhibition will also include engines, catalogs, posters and photos. Inconjunction with the exhibition, the museum is publishing a book, “TheMotorcycle Industry in New York State: A Concise Encyclopedia of Inventors,Builders and Manufacturers,” which will be available in its gift shop.

This exhibition is sure to be a major Albany event…one perfect forthose of you who were born to be wild. Museum members are invited to attenda reception to preview this exciting exhibition on Dec. 8 at 6p.m.

Sex Prevents Heart Attacks–Men: How would you like to cut your risk of a major heart attack or strokein half–and have fun in the process? Britain’s University of Bristolreports that men can do just that by having sex three or four times a week.Basically, the good cardiologists have determined that sex is as legitimatea form of exercise as a game of squash or a long run. In the groundbreakingstudy, researchers questioned 2,400 men in Caerphilly, Wales who had nohistory of major diseases. They asked the men a wide range of questions,including whether they had sex once, twice, or three or more times a week.

“What was found when the men were followed up over the next 10 years wasthat those who’d had three or more orgasms a week were half as likely tohave had a heart attack or a stroke,” said Shah Ebrahim, a professor at theUniversity of Bristol. “We’re now moving to a situation where we would saythat even mild to moderate levels of physical activity are likely to havesome cardiovascular protective effect,” he added. –Cathryn Conroy

–From John Siebenthaler

BLUE FLAME FIRED UP AGAIN–The Blue Flame was burning down the highways during the Love Ride, sportin’ a new steel stretched Independent Gas Tank Co. tank. Paul Yaffe of Phoenix solved the very explosive mistake I made in mounting the Sportster tank by welding mounting tabs on the frame that support the new tank with rubber mounts. The tech is in the garage and this is living proof that the Flame is alive and on the road with new paint from Harold Pontarelli of H-D Performance in Sacramento. Check the tech and watch for a bike feature on my favorite rigid in the March issue of HOT Bike.Check the new air cleaner from Paul Yaffe Originals in Phoenix. Gives it that bad ass chopper look.

QUOTE FROM THE RICH AND FAMOUS– * (On going to war over religion) — “You’re basically killing each other to see who’s got the better imaginary friend.” -Yasir Arrafat (PLO leader)

* “Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”-Sharon Stone

* “My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee – the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.” -Dan Rather (News anchorman)

* “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, “Thyroid problem?'”-Arnold Schwarzenegger

THE NAME GAME– We are continuing to give medium or 2X T-shirts to riders who submit prospective titles for our “In the Wind” section. Give it your best shot or send us a flick that will melt thousands of monitors in a single nano-second. Don’t forget to send along your shirt size and address. T-shirts are flying outta here. Here’s another submission:

Oh mighty Wordsmith, how about Vagabond Voyeurfor your Wind page?

It comes from my road anthem. If you don’t like it,maybe the lyrics will inspire you to come up with aname.

–FTW,Stroker

WHEREVER I MAY ROAM

…and the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
so in her I do confide
and she keeps me satisfied
gives me all I need .
..and with dust in throat I crave
only knowledge will I save
to the game you stay a slave

rover, wanderer
nomad, vagabond
call me what you will
but I’ll take my time anywhere
free to speak my mind anywhere
and I’ll redefine anywhere
anywhere I may roam

where I lay my head is home
…and the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
under wandering stars I’ve grown
by myself but not alone
I ask no one

…and my ties are severed clean
the less I have the more I gain
off the beaten path I reign
rover wanderer
nomad vagabond
call me what you will

but I’ll take my time anywhere
I’m free to speak my mind anywhere
and I’ll never mind anywhere
anywhere I may roam
where I lay my head is home
but I’ll take my time anywhere
free to speak my mind
and I’ll take my find anywhere
anywhere I may roam
where I lay my head is home
carved upon my stone
my body lie, but still I roam
wherever I may roam

Finally get a compliment from your ass and it’s not my work!Wouldn’t ya know it. My road anthem is a Metallica song.

Just thought you should know, as it is copyrighted. Don’tknow if that affects you posting it or not. Just don’t giveme credit for writing it.

I’ll keep trying, maybe someday my own writing will earn acompliment. Still want to try fiction someday. Been busyas shit lately and haven’t written a damn thing.

Congratulations on your first year! Keep up the good work.

–FTW,Stroker

HEY!– You evil rat bastard! What am I, chopped liver? I founded Bikernet.com East and you forget to thank me and my entire staff, Big Lucy, Apache, myself. If it weren’t for me, you would have never gotten into motorcycling in the first place. You’d have stayed in sewing school and been a queer fashion designer. You swine. You’ll pay for this, Ball.

–Don Zebra

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands injelly.

JENNY– from Biker’s Choice let me know that their top salesman died of a massive heart attack the other day, and that I needed to live life to the fullest because you never know. It’s actually unlikely that a heart problem would stop me in my tracks, maybe splitting lanes at 90 in downtown traffic on a Friday night, but not some goddamn illness. The point is that there is heaven all about us. We just need to slow down to touch it, let it fill our lungs and glide away on a cloud of it.

The key is to stop and take stock of what makes you happy, really happy, like orgasm happy. Then focus on those elements of life and fuck the rest. I’m not prescribing that you take a powder on the boss, or maybe I am. Take, for instance, my humble existence. What truly rocks my boat: Sex, building bikes, sex, writing, women and riding. So I took stock of my life, saved a few coins and eliminated everything else. If I had a lot of money, I’d have more crap that would take up my time. So stop what you’re doing, grab someone soft and let her take you away (I do this each and every night) where you can focus on what makes your life a pleasure. Then figure out how to stay there. In other words–Let’s ride.

–Bandit

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THANKSGIVING CANCELED, TURKEY DRUNK

Hey,

As the sun created a fireworks display over the L.A. Harbor this morning, the Dark-Haired One slipped into the turkey chasin’ mode and hit the stores. I knew the news was slight, but the show must go on.

It’s actually a perfect opportunity to thank the staff for the hard work and dedication they’ve put into this start-up biz. Ya see, when I departed ER, my intentions were to get drunk and write books. Well, actually, it was to chase women and write books. I only get drunk when I can’t find a soft touch–I get depressed. A couple of brothers told me that the site was cool and I should go after it. I hesitated, but finally decided that we would give it all we had for the year, then take a step back and review what we had accomplished. Well, it’s been a helluva year.

The credit needs to be piled on the few, the proud and the mean: Jon Towle, for his creative ability and his divorce, which slanted everything he drew; Ladd “Nuut Boy” Terry and his lovely wife, Debbie, for helping me drive every nail into the Bikernet headquarters, and for Nuut Boy’s contributions and Bikernet guidance; The Digital Gangster for his round-the-clock Website diligence, unrelenting drive to create new programs and build the site, and Oz for his censorship standards (keeps me on the straight and narrow), and help when he isn’t involved with some political campaign. He’s currently consulting for Harley-Davidson and running for membership on the AMA board. Soon he’ll be such a damn heavyweight he won’t talk to us at all. I want to thank the Dark-Haired One, for her support and disdain for everything healthy that I eat. She cringes at protein shakes, squirms at steamed vegetables and turns her head at tuna salads. Of course there’s Sin Wu, who is a flower in a bucket of bolts, as she moves seductively through the war rooms and heated discussions keeping the accounting in order, helping advertisers and stroking my leg.

I want to finally thank all the sponsors on the site who believed in us enough to jump on board. It’s what keeps me in Top Ramen and Jack Daniels, Markus Cuff in film and the parts in the garage. We need to get to the news, but just one more thing. This year, unlike many in the past (even though I was working in the business), I felt the pure adrenaline joy of being a biker.

Here’s a glimpse of the interior of the Bikernet headquarters.

I’ve spent more time this year in the saddle, in the garage and on the road than many years in the past. There’s nothing like being a biker: The romance of cutting through the streets in the wee hours to her house in the ghetto; working in the garage from dawn to dusk to make another machine unique, or to try something new. Calling pals all over the country to find out what the fuck I’m doing wrong now, and enjoying the power of busting your ass for months on a machine that will cut traffic like wire through cheese. There’s nothing like it, so if you can, turn off the goddamn computer, roll that sucker into the street and find a turkey to attack. Let’s ride.

CONTEST WINNERS–

We have contest winners for the name of our “In the Wind” section and from the photos that are now up in the Freedom Photo section (we haven’t decided on a final name yet). There’s David E. from Grapeville, Penn., and Dave Dinneen from Melrose, Iowa. Each one will receive a double XX original Bikernet T-shirt. Paul Morris from Ventura, Calif., suggested “Knees in the Breese,” which we all thought sucked, but he gets a T-shirt anyway.

Photos are in and the section is up. Have A Look

WINO JOE ON TURKEY DAY–Mr. Bandit and crew, I figure y’all are in a rush to head over thahills/thru tha woods to Grandma’s house to eat her food. ThisOl’Cherokee is from the Turtle Band, so I’ll just take my time and when Iget there, I’ll eat Grandma:)

–Ride On! Wino Joe, USA

BRENDA, BRENDA, BRENDA–She works for Bartel’s Harley-Davidson, but she’s actually the property of Bikernet. The Orange County Hells Angels and the New York chapter are trying to kidnap her. While she’s still tied up in the Bikernet basement, you can see what we’re doing to her new Deuce on the site. Check the H-D section and she’s even in the Samson section. Damn, she gets around. Last week the fleet center retuned her carb (that better be all they did), and installed a Screamin’ Eagle ignition. Not sure I like the sound of that one. We’ll post the results here on the site.

FOUR WOMEN IN TEXAS–When one woman calls, that’s cool, but when I get to four, I call my travel agent. This week I spent a couple of long nights in Dallas, but I must have forgotten to brush my one tooth before I left because Jenny left town as soon as I arrived. Kelly left me at the airport, Lena, from Dallas Easyriders, (my sixth wife to be) refused to have lunch with me and Dawn made up for all the rest. I spent a day with the riders of Chrome Specialties, one hell of an upbeat group, all striving to make Chrome Specialties a stand-out distributor of custom parts for the hardcore and chopper enthusiast.

In the next couple of days, you will see the entire Streetware apparel line launched on Bikernet. Yep, you’ll be able to pick from over 750 items, including Jesse James apparel, Bad Pig and Prison Blues. This is cutting-edge, bad-assed, asphalt-dirty, slick shit. The first thing I’m ordering is a couple pairs of Prison Blues denims. They even have a pair of fleece-lined denims. Prison Blues are made by Oregon prisons and are cut to fit like shackles on a road gang.

FLORIDA TO BE DROPPED FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA– WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following an emergency meeting Wednesday morning,Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America.The move was a reaction to the confusion and irregularities in the state’s voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 presidential election. “This is the last straw,” said Utah Sen. Orin Hatch. “First Elian Gonzales, now this.”

Several congressmen told reporters the decision has been a long time in coming. “We’re all pretty much sick of Florida,” said Rep. Barney Frank. “They’ve been a constant embarassment for too long now.” AddedFrank, “They had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done lately? Oh that’s right, screw up our entire democracy. I forgot”

In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachussetts Sen. Ted Kennedy commented that the loss of Florida’s sizable elderly population will freeup billions of dollars in Social Security funds. “These are valuable funds which can now be redirected toward national defense. We can finally rebuild our demoralized, weakened military,” said the senator to roaring applause.

As a result of the Florida screw-up, the House and Senate decreed a new election will take place in early December. This time, ballots in eachstate will be tabulated by robots. “It is clear that our human vote-counting system is too inherantly flawed,” said Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. “The presence of these new, superior robot mast- err, I mean – tabulators will ensure 100 percent accuracy.” “Remember,” said Hastert, “every vote counts, especially if it’s counted by robots.”

Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday, after which the statewill be completely geographically seperated from the United States. “After that, they’re on their own,” said Hastert. “I hope they sink.

WRENCH’S BIKE BARN–Watch for new bikes coming to the Bike Barn on a regular basis from the publisher of HardTail magazine The Real Deal, the only rag on the market devoted solely to rigids and traditional choppers. The rough riders are back and running strong.

Quantum MEMO–
From: Murray Smith [mailto:aceo@home.com]
Sent: Monday, November 20, 2000 4:32 PM
To: rogue@bikerrogue.com
Subject: Quantum

Hi Rogue, it’s Murray Smith. I just finished reading bikernet.com and allof its back issues. Great stuff! I don’t know what Starke is up to, buthe should at least have his facts right. I was neverCEO of Quantum, I still remain the sole director of American MotorcycleCompany (a wholly owned sub of Quantum). Rick Block and I did go to NewYork and are both working 16 hours a day trying to save the company.

There is a hearing in Orlando on Dec. 4 that should tell all.There are a lot of good people working hard and praying for Quantum tomake a comeback. Rick and I are doing both.

I do not have time to waste on anyone who is not working with us. Ifyou’re not with us, get the fuck out of the way.

Anyway, I hope to see you and the rest of the team soon. Please feel freeto e-mail anytime or call (416) 250-7051.

–Murray

This is Dave and Steph from the Love Ride. We are still accumulating photography for our extensive Love Ride coverage, which will go live as soon as we’re sure no one will be arrested or busted for being with the wrong babe. This couple is cool. We checked ’em out.

ANOTHER WINNER IN THE NAME GAME–Here’s a list of some names for a road-worthy site. I know I need to slow down on the wacky weed, but what the hell, I’m outta whiskey. Hope to read about the Love Run tomorrow. I hope you had a helluva time and tell us those stories that legends are made of.

Here are some suggestions for names of the new addition to Bikernet about being on the road.

— Smack

A little gas and a sore ass any and everywhere
A million cars and new bars
A million past and a million to go
Anywhere but here
Ass calluses
Backroads pleasure treasure
Baggers to bungee cords
Bedrolls and backroads
Bedrolls and chuckholes
Bedrolls and tent poles
Been there but I’ll be back
BFE
Blacktop
Break away
Bungee cords and bushes
Burn’t rubber
Chaps and chuckholes
Coast to coast
Constant thunder
Cool, crisp and clean the road machines
County lines
Cruisin and outdoor snoozing
Curves and corners
Dawn to dusk
Twists and turns
Etching new trails
Every which way the wind blows
Flying gravel
Forward controls
Fouled plugs and freeways
Freaks and film
Freedom from freeways to farm roads
Freeway flights
Freeways to farmland
From molehills to mountains
FTW I’m seeing it!
Gas grabbers
Genuine hard asses
Getting around
Glutton for the road
Good vibrations
Grid what?
Greasy spots and frozen snot
Hardcore highway
Hell bent for traveling
Hemorrhoids and hard tails
Here and there
Home is the highway
Kings and queens of the road
Leather asses
Live to ride
Loving leathers
Map markers
Meetin’ and greetin’
Miles and piles
Miles behind
No gridlock
No substitute
Oil stains and ass pains
Old places new faces
Old roads new friends
Open road warriors
Outta here
Photos and fairways
Pissin’ in the snow
Pissing blood
Porta potties and potholes
Rain, sleet, snow, and the winding road
Reliable rumble
Righteous road ramblers
Road signs
Road trips
Road worthy
Running streams and nice scenes
Rural route ramblers
Saddle shifting
Saddle sores
Saddle surfers
Saddlebags and hags
See ya later
Seeing it all
Sled heads
Spent miles
Spinning spokes
Spinning spokes and billet blacktop
Squatting in the bushes
Super shiftin’
T’aint here, t’aint there
Tales and smells
The open road
The outside track
The real feeling
The room with the view
The scene
The wayward road
Toilet paper and road rations
Tread wear
Trips and tramps
Turnstile tramps
Twistin’ the wick
Two-wheel views
V-twin dreams & scenes
Weather love
Whereabouts unknown
Whispering winds
White line times
Wind blown
Wind-chill
Wish you were there
Worn tread

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE– is brought to you by Aid to Injured Motorcyclists (A.I.M.) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM), and is sponsored by the law offices of Richard M. Lester. For more information, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Website at http://www.aimncom.com

Good news from the UK!! Due to diligent work on the part of MAG (Motorcycle Action Group), motorcycles are now recognized as part of the solution to traffic congestion, not part of the problem! They will notbe charged a toll (the ”congestion charge”) to enter central London. The logic of MAG’s campaign to promote motorcycles to combat pollution and congestion took hold in Britain. Good news indeed for our brothers and sisters in that part of the world. Time for the REST of the world to take note!

CUSTOM CHROME has instituted a virtual showroom on the Internetfeaturing interactive 3-D. Customers can look at parts from all angles and decide if they want to buy them without driving across town and maybe not being satisfied and coming home empty handed. Now you can look first and THEN drive across town. Neat stuff, huh?

LAS VEGAS: We all remember hearing about that stunning motorcycleshow the Guggenheim Museum put together last year. Well, now they plan tobuild on the Vegas Strip in two places. The Guggenheim Las Vegas and the Hermitage Guggenheim Museum will be built by the prize-winning architect Rem Koolhaas in the Venetian Resort-Hotel-Casino.

The gallery’s inaugural exhibition will be “The Art of theMotorcycle” that opened at the Guggenheim Museum in New York in 1998, and receivedlots of kudos from the motorcycling community, including a Silver Spoke Awardfor Arts from the National Coalition of Motorcyclists.

CHINA again: This time, well, it’s “electrifying.” They’ve gotthis Jumping Antelope brand of electric bikes that are going to be a bighit all over Asia real soon. The Jumping Antelope brand of electrically operated motorcyclesare built by the Suzhou Little Antelope electrically operated Motorcycle Co.Ltd. in Jiangsu province. The bike has been chartered as the anti-pollution vehicle in the 21st Century by the Ministry of Foreign Trade and Economic Cooperation. What’s more, over 1,800 Jumping Antelope motorcycles have been exported to the United States, Italy, and Thailand.

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla.: The Florida insurance industry is renewing a callto force bikers to strap on helmets after the deaths of five people during Biketoberfest this year. (Four people died last year, according to DocReichenbach, president of ABATE of Florida and chairman of the board ofNCOM, and attendance at this year’s event was much higher because it waslid-free.) The AAA and health and safety organizations fought hard during last spring’s session of the Florida Legislature trying to block the repeal that allows bikers older than 21 to ride without helmets as long as they carry $10,000 in medical insurance.

The insurance industry lost that legislative battle, conceding defeat only after Florida Gov. Jeb Bush signed the new helmet bill into law last June.

This is more proof the helmet fight isn’t over anywhere we manage towin, folks. They will come back at us with any excuse they can find. We needto be responsible riders or we will never win this battle. And when thereare>deaths of unhelmeted riders, we need to look REAL close at the stats and circumstances. TOKYO: Well, here’s a brand new use for a motorcycle: According to the Kyodo news service, some biker in Japan figured a way to rig a littlespycam in a ladies room and broadcast it through a radio system on hismotorcycle! Must be a new option for Honda in 2001, eh? I gotta say the cops weren’t impressed and they arrested the guy.

SPAIN: A new concept to protect motorcyclists from hitting guardrails – or worse yet, those ”cheese grater” wire barriers – has been developedin this country. It’s a net that’s set under the rail and prevents a bodyfromsliding under it. An additional piece of protection covers the sharpedges of the crash barrier post. There may be other advantages to the idea suchas preventing small animals from scooting out onto the road suddenly in frontof traffic, and maybe reducing the effect of lateral wind. They also pickeda white color for the net, for better road visibility in bad weather.They’re also talking about adding reflective devices into the net. This is justone example of safety engineering that really counts, and ISN’T an impositionon our personal rights. Could it be that highway engineers are beginning to realize scooter people are citizens too? Seems so in Spain, anyway.

BIKERNET BIKER BABE REPORT FROM THE BIG APPLE–Here’s a riding woman on the move writing for Bikenet, creating her own site, Bikerlady.com, covering Sturgis for Penthouse, writing the tale of Biketoberfest, being featured in Easyriders and writing sales material for Ultra. She’s non-stop. Watch for her at events near you, and for her impact and insight on the new Ultra products geared for the softer rider.

BRANSON MOTORCYCLE RALLY–There’s a motorcycle rally in Branson next May and you’re invited.Visit us at bransonmotorcyclerally.com for more information

The largest independent travel service and one of the top resorts in Branson, Mo., have partnered up to host the first Branson Motorcycle Rally. The organizers for the Branson Motorcycle Rally feel that a family oriented event held in an area offering mountains, lakes, entertainment and shopping, and which is centrally located in mid-America will attract a large segment of motorcycle enthusiasts.

It appears that most successful events are those that offer a wide variety of entertainment opportunities (best lookin’ babes), a unique location (plenty of saloons), and excellent accommodations (big beds). Slip away to America’s heartland, and one of the most remarkable places on earth… a unique combination of big-time fun and a small-town heart… a dynamic mix of neon and nature. This place is Branson, Mo.

There is music, comedy, magic and fun from morning to night. Forty theaters, with more than 90 shows, provide guests with entertainment options unlike any other vacation destination in the world. Plus, area theme parks and attractions will surely please every member of the family. Click here to enter the bransonmotorcyclerally.com Website!

DEVIL DOLLS 2001– Calendar Release Party. Come out and help us celebrate the release of our hot new calendar for 2001!

When? Dec. 1, 7 p.m. – 2 a.m.

Where? The Double Play (groovy niteclub), 2401 16th St., at Bryant San Francisco (across from the Portrero Hill Shopping Center)

Featuring live music by ManMade God A wild fetish/fashion show by Stormy Leather and the Dolls Devil Doll merchandise and, of course, plenty of our new HOT 2001 calendars and the Dolls to make ’em personal…

$5 cover at the door Plenty of parking.– See ya there No Fear.

www.devildolls.com (415)546-3700

INTERESTING SHIT–Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on aPezdispenser.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of theNikefactory workers in Malaysia combined.

Adolf Hitler’s mother seriously considered having an abortion butwas talkedout of it by her doctor.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

All U.S. presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like beingseenwearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

TOURING CHOPPER FOR SALE–OK, so Don Whalen is trying to sell the Indian, but the prices keep fluxuating due to the influx of the new Indian brand. The Touring Chopper is another matter. A complete concept bike built in six months, the bastard took me to Sturgis in 1997. It’s still a low mileage, 98-inch stroker that has always been treated with respect. We recently redesigned the exhaust system and corrected the rear suspension with new, slightly longer shocks. The Bikernet garage needs expansion, so we may have to just let the Red Ball go to a rider with heart.

TURKEY TIME–Time to roll the bad-assed Blue Flame into the street and hit the road for feasts and females, flights of fancy, soft curves and tantalizing tastes. Thanks for hangin’ with us this year. We’ve had a helluva time with the help of good friends and family.

Here’s another shot from inside the Bikernet headquarters.

Talk about a wild time for this industry. The bottom line is that everything changes, and the wise and strong survive to party another day. So stay on your toes, secure the garage. Don’t let anyone get to your bike. It’ll be interesting to see the next year unfold. Some companies will be drifting away, new ones will emerge. The factories will continue their onslaught into the custom component market. I’ll drop a twin-cam engine into a Pro Street FXR frame, the Buell will sing and I’ll try my damnest to write another book. In the meantime, remember that it’s not material bullshit that counts, but the adventures of life, the experiences, the nights of pure total bliss and the shit we create with our bare hands that makes it all worth living. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Say hello to grandma. She’s the only one of the scowling family who digs it that you have the balls to ride and defy tradition. Rebels forever–Bandit