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The WCC No. 2 is ready to be put together. We are waiting for the paint todry and some parts are still on back order. If things go as planned, we will have the whole build next week here onBikernet. But wait, there’s more. WCC No. 3 is already in the paint booth,so… stay tuned for next week’s saga.
Not too much news since it’s been raining (again) all over theisland and most of the stuff going on is mere gossip.We are waiting for some sun to do our electronic Christmas cards, and sometime to finish the WCC No. 2 bike, which is going to live in Boston. Oh well guys,till next week…….. Hey Weasels, you punks suck!
Jose—- Caribbean Bikernet Agent.
Bikernet Recipe
Just a little something to lift your ‘spirits’ for the holidays!
BIKERNET HOLIDAY FRUIT CAKE
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 gallon whiskey
Simple Directions
1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.
2. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highestquality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
3. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large,fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
4. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn offmixer.Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of driedfruit.Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,pryitloose with a drewscriver.
5. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticaty. Next, sift 2cupsof salt. Or something. Who cares?
6. Whisk the checkey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain yournuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you canfind.
7. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’tforgetto beat off the turner.
8. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again.
9. Go to bed. Who in the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
Bikernet On Religion
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacherwentto the congregation and asked for a raise.After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule thatwhenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck.After fiveor six children, this started to get expensive and the congregationdecided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s pay.
There was much yelling and bickering about how much theclergyman’sadditional children were costing the church. Finally, the preachergotup and spoke to the crowd, “Having children is an act of God!”A little old manand in his frail voice in the back of church shouted
“Snow and rain are also acts of God, but when we get toomuch, we wear rubbers!”
Perspective
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at theclouds.He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
“God,” he said, “how long is a million years?”
God answered, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.”
The man asked, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answered, “To me, it’s a penny.”
The man then asked, “God, can I have a penny?”
God answered, “In a minute.”
Midget
A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he’s sending a friendoverto buy a horse.”How will I recognize him?” “That’s easy, he’s a midget with a speechimpediment.”
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a maleorfemale horse. “A female horth.” So he shows him a prized filly. “Nithlookinhorth. Can I thee her eyeth?” So the guy picks up the midget and hegivesthe horse’s eyes the once over and says “Nith eyeth. Can I thee herearzth?”So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.”Nithearzth. Can I thee her mouf?” The rancher is gettin pretty disgusted atthispoint, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth. “Nicemouf, now can I see her twat?” Totally upset at this point, the ranchergrabs the midget under his arm and rams the midget’s head as far as hecanup the horse’s twat,pulls him out, and drops him on the ground.
Themidgetgets up, sputtering and coughing. “Perhapth I should rephrathe that. CanIthee her wun awound a widdle bit?”
Bikernet Virus Warning
If you receive an e-mail titled “Death to the Infidels!” or”Badtimes”, delete it IMMEDIATELY.
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will notonlyerase everything on your hard drive, but it will also deleteanythingon disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on yourVCRand uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs youattempttoplay. It will program your phone auto-dial to call only “900” numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOULISTENING??
It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you areexpecting company.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine,allthe while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your backandbilling their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a waythatis only fun until someone loses an eye.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your activeverbstopassive voice and incorporate undetectable misspellings whichgrosslychange the interpretations of key sentences.
If the “Badtimes” message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment,itwill leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged indangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattressesandpillows, It will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******
And if you don’t send this to 5,000 people in 20 seconds you’ll fart so hardthat your right legwill spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks thatwillignite the person nearest you.
Send to everyone in your address book….
In case you are a blonde, this is a joke.
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