ByLayla
Continued From Page 3
Visually Compelling
This was made by a lady in Timmins, Ontario, Canada, I believe. Apparently she wins the ice sculpture contest every year.
Chris—
THE HORSE, Backstreet Choppers is pleased to announce the 3rd Annual Smoke Out to be held July 26-28 at the Rowan County Fairgroundsin Salisbury, N.C., about an hour north of Charlotte, N.C. This is exit 74 offI-85.
By popular demand, the debauchery has been extended to three days. See foryourself the amazing Horse Maidens, from the cover of issue No. 22…theultimate Chopper Eliminations (what are these?)…Mad Dog burning the rubberoff his tires…The first ever appearance by Geno, a mystery guest andCharlie Horse, in person, to fill you in on Horse gossip.
There will be no slow races, no mustard-covered hotdogs being bit off. Noindeed. We plan to have a host of our own unique, equally-stupid contests. Stay tuned. More importantly, we will have beer. We will have food. Lots offood and beer. And music. And beer.
Bands are currently in the contracting process but should includeSkirtlifters (rockabilly), Bounty Hunter (classic and southern rock), HayseedDixie (bluegrass, but they only do AC/DC tunes- too bizarre to miss), and theMill City Rockers (one of the most popular biker bands New England has tooffer) and more.
The same simple-minded staff plans to have an oversized motorcycle trailer onthe premises, which will be burned as a tribute to the legions of those whoroad to this prestigious event. This event will someday be known as thegreatest chopper event in the world. The “burning of the trailer” willsomeday be symbolic to all in chopperdom. YOU can be there. YOU will beable to tell the story in bars for the rest of your life about how you werethere for the first trailer burn.
A chopper will be fabricated during the event before your very eyes. Some ofthe best in the industry will be wrenching, cutting, grinding and painting asyou watch on in horrified amazement. Ask questions as they do an enginerebuild or install an S&S carb. Some of our favorite after-market parts willbe used and the chopper extraordinaire will be auctioned to raise money toallow kids with asthma to attend a special summer camp.
Primitive camping is available on the premises for those who want thatEuropean SuperRally type of experience. For those wimps who want a motel room, THE HORSEstaff will be staying at the Comfort Suites (on exit 76B) and at the BestWestern (on exit 75). Both hotels have agreed to knock $20 off the normalrate if you tell them you are attending the Smoke Out! The Comfort Suitesrate is $53 (704) 630-0065 and the Best Western rate is $50 (704) 633-5777.
Admission will cost $25 for the three days, which includes theprimitive camping, the tons of events and the many excellent bands. By thetime you read this, more details will be available on the Web site atwww.thehorsemag.com, maps, announcements of even more events and details onthe bike shows. Venders should call Edge at (803) 269-9699 for a venderinformation packet. Hope you can make it.
What To Do In Case Of An Emergency
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up the young couple wholived there. They had been sleeping so he just tied them to the bed.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous youngwife, bound up on the bed in her skimpy nightgown, and whispered,”Honey, this guy hasn’t been with a woman in years. Just cooperate withanything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along withit and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it.”
She hissed and spit out her gag and said “I’m so relieved you feelthat way, because he just told me he thinks you are really cute!”
Pickle Slicer
There was a man who had worked his whole life in a pickle factory. One day he came home and told his wife that he had been fired from his job.
She began to scream and yell, “You have given them twenty years of devoted service. Why did they fire you?”
“For twenty years I’ve wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer,” he explained, “and today I finally did it!”
The wife ran over and pulled his pants down to see what damage had been done. “You look okay,” she said with a sigh of relief. “So what happened to the pickle slicer?”
“Well,” he said with hesitation, “they fired her, too.”
Kind Lawyer
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man.
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied.
“Oh, come along with me then,” instructed the lawyer.
“But, sir, I have a wife and two children!”
“Bring them along!” replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, “Come with us.”
“But sir, I have a wife and six children!” the second man answered.
“Bring them as well!” answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall.”
Alligator Trick
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try”. A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. “I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle”.
Show Us Some SkinColored or black and gray. We don?t care, we just want to show off your tattoos. Submit photos to sinwu@bikernet.com. If there?s an interesting story behind your artwork, include it.Also, if you give us your address, we?ll send you some Bikernet stickers.
Thanks for sharing, Joseph from Wisconsin!
Victory Motorcycles Expands Partnership WithMaster Custom Bike Builders Arlen and Cory Ness
The partnership between Victory Motorcycles and master custom bike builders Arlen and Cory Ness continues to expand with the company?s announcement that the Nesses will play an increased role in the styling and design of future Victory models. The Nesses will also continue to develop the Arlen Ness Signature Series of Victory accessories, will build concept Victorys for display at shows, and they will make public appearances on behalf of the brand.
?We?re very excited to announce we?ve strengthened our relationship with Arlen and Cory. We?ve been working with them for a few years, and they?ve done a lot of great things for us,? said Victory General Manager Mark Blackwell. ?We?ve worked real hard over the last year to identify how we could help each other even more. We have identified specific objectives and specific targets, and put a plan together that is very focused.?
Arlen Ness said the partnership has been a goal of his and Cory?s.?We have wanted to work with Victory since its introduction a few years ago. We believe in the product and the people that make it happen. We expect big things to happen in the very near future,? said Arlen.Cory added: ?Designing motorcycles is what we love to do. This gives us an opportunity to use our talents on a whole new level.?
The Nesses are in the process of moving their custom bike and accessory business into a large new facility in Dublin, California, just east of Oakland. Their new operation includes a Victory dealership, where, Blackwell said, ?Arlen and Cory will test some new merchandising and sales approaches for Victory in their premiere new showroom, which will open later this spring.?
The Nesses will be involved with Victory in several ways, including:
? They will continue to design and supply accessories to Victory.
? They will serve as design consultants on future Victory models and future accessories and apparel.
? They will continue to make personal appearances on behalf of Victory at events such as dealer meetings, press launches, and major consumer events.
?They will significantly upgrade their commitment and presence as Victory dealers in their new showroom, and they will continue to build special show machines and project bikes that will be featured in motorcycle magazines and at events,? said Blackwell. ?I believe they will also help us identify strong candidates for Victory dealerships as we carefully work to strengthen our Victory dealer network.?
Arlen Ness is a legend among custom motorcycle builders and stylists. He has built numerous innovative and trend-setting customs, has successfully marketed his own lines of accessories, and has been the focus of countless magazine articles and numerous books on motorcycle customization.
His son Cory was raised in an environment that immersed him in art, styling, and, specifically, design of custom motorcycles. He plays a lead role in the daily operation of the Ness businesses, and has created several well-known custom bikes that have been featured at events and in magazines.
?You could argue that Arlen Ness is the best-known and most-respected custom motorcycle builder in the world,? Blackwell said. ?He?s extremely well-known in the United States?and internationally. And I believe that over the coming years, Cory will become equally well known and respected. Arlen and Cory complement each other with their individual styles and approaches, and we think that mix will benefit us in the styling they contribute to Victory.?
Along with the Victory dealership and custom bike building operation, the Nesses? 70,000-sq. ft. facility in Dublin includes a museum featuring Arlen Ness?s personal collection of more than 100 rare and custom-made motorcycles.For more information on Victory Motorcycles, including a dealer locator, visit the Victory Web site at: www.victory-usa.com. A dealer locator service is also offered toll-free at 1-800-POLARIS.
Victory Motorcycles is a division of Polaris Industries Inc. Information about the complete line of Polaris products is available from authorized Polaris dealers or from the Polaris home page at www.polarisindustries.com.
Polaris designs, engineers, manufactures, and markets snowmobiles, all-terrain vehicles (ATVs), Victory motorcycles, watercraft, and the Polaris RANGER for recreational and utility use. Polaris is the largest snowmobile manufacturer in the world, and one of the largest U.S. manufacturers of ATVs and watercraft. Polaris enhances the riding experience with a complete line of Pure Polaris apparel, accessories, and parts available at Polaris dealerships. Consumers can also purchase apparel and vehicle accessories around the clock online at www.polarisindustries.com.
The Polaris Professional Series, a line of heavy duty Workmobiles? designed for use by lawn and landscape companies, equipment rental companies, and construction operations, marks Polaris’ expansion into the commercial equipment marketplace.Polaris Industries Inc. trades on the New York Stock Exchange and Pacific Stock Exchange under the symbol “PII,” and the company is included in the S&P SmallCap 600 stock price index.
Hey Bandit, Check Out This Site, This is the Norton site I found finally for the Weekly News: www.nortonamerica.com.com Also this is a cool Norton site, lots of info (Norton Owners Club) www.noc.co.uk
Paul
Well that?s it—- I know you all can?t wait for Bandit to return. Believe me, no one wants him home more than me. The sun is shining outside, warm air surrounds me and I?m sitting inside stuck on this fucking computer. Snake and Bandit may create the intros and endings you read but I?m the one who has to put all the other shit in place. I?d rather be shopping or something. Plus I?m getting pretty damn lonely. Someone tried to tell me that five months wasn?t that long to go without?.. Hah! That dude must have been a eunuch. All these women Sin has running around are starting to look good. Bandit better hurry or we?ll all be lesbians by the time he gets home. I wonder if he would consider being with a woman cheating? I?ll have to ask.
So, in the proper Bikernet fashion, I?ll end with – Have a helluva weekend, and if the sun is shining, get out and go for a ride!
Layla
