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FOUR TYPES OF SEX–HOUSE SEX – When you are newly married and have sex all over the house inevery room.
BEDROOM SEX – After you have been married for a while, you only have sex inthe bedroom.
HALL SEX – After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass eachother in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”
COURTROOM SEX – When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce courtin front of many people for every penny you’ve got.
–Rogue
HARLEY ANNIVERSARY GROWS– Harley Davidson’s One Hundred year anniversary has taken on alife of its own. California Speedway will host the third leg of a worldwide travelingcelebration uniting motorcycles, music, history and more, starting in September. This isthe Harley-Davidson’s 100th Anniversary Open Road Tour, a series of gigantic weekendfestivals created to celebrate a true American icon. When you find it in your area besure and attend. Tickets for U.S. and Canadian Open Road Tour stops are on sale now. You can even buy tickets online and see their schedule. Go to www.harley-davidson.com,or to www.ticketmaster.com, or at Ticketmaster.
SOMETHING ABOUT A ROOSTER–A rooster is walking along one day when he comes to a riverbank with a big bag of cat food beside it. Uninterested in the bag, helooks over to the other side and sees a huge bag of chicken feed which instantly makes his mouth water. Beside the bag of feed is a small cat that is hungrily eyeing the cat food on his side.
The two look at each other and wonder what to do. The rooster says, “I know, if we run & jump high enough we should be able to make it to the other side.”
The cat responds “OK, let’s give it a try”
The rooster heads back about 15 feet, makes a run for it and jumps as high as he can. He flaps his wings like crazy and just makes it to the bag and starts devouring the chicken feed.
The cat, now more motivated than ever, heads back about 20 feet and makes a run for it. He jumps, and SPLASH! He lands right in the middle of the river.
The Moral of the Story: For every satisfied cock, there’s a wet pussy!
ANTI-CIGARETTE ADS BULLSHIT–They bug the shit outta me, not because I love to smoke, but because of their attacks on freedom. If a man wants to smoke, ride fast or drink, let him be. Did you see the news recently that the fourth deadliest disease in this country is hospital induced infections killing over 100,000 annually. More recently another statistic was revealed: 75,000 die annually because, during a hospital stay, they were given the wrong medicine, diagnosed improperly or over medicated. Beware of Hospitals. Here’s an example:
REAL EMERGENCY ROOM VISITS–> PRICKLY PAIR—–OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to hispenis. He complained that his wife had “…a rat in her privates…” and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
For many of us heading out onto the open road, the benefits of being able topitch a tent are innumerable, and the experiences almost always memorable,whether enjoying the camaraderie of like-minded rally-goers, or basking inthe remote solitude of a perfect site well off the beaten path. Not onlythat, camping can considerably stretch your travel budget. Whitehorse Pressis pleased to announce publication of the first guidebook for camping on twowheels, MOTORCYCLE CAMPING MADE EASY, written by veteran rider and life-longcamper Bob Woofter. Here is everything you need to know to get startedright, plus valuable tips and resources for experienced campers as well!
The book is loaded with practical advice to help riders enjoy the wholeexperience, covering issues such as assessing your current bike for spaceand load-carrying capacity, finding motorcycle-friendly campgrounds andrallies, planning and packing properly for your trip, dealing with”critters” at camp, preparing meals on wheels, mastering traditional campskills like building a campfire, and caring for your equipment after youreturn home. An extensive resource directory lists dozens of equipmentsuppliers to orient you in the overwhelming sea of information availabletoday on gear, luggage, clothing, and even trailers.
Also, check out other camping gear and accessories available throughWhitehorse Press including the popular Go-Kot and our 100% Waterproof TravelBags at http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0207&id=home.
A GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE?What’s Black and White and No Longer Red All Over?Presstime, 07-08/02,A study of newspaper Internet operations worldwide finds that about a thirdare making money.
–from John Siebenthaler
Yipee!
WHAT AN ASS–A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an oldfarmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. Thenext day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news.The donkey died.”
Kenny replied, “Well then, just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Kenny said, “OK then, at least give me the donkey.”
The farmer asked, “What are you going to do with him?”
Kenny replied, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
Farmer exclaimed, “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”
Kenny replied, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he is dead.”
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened withthat dead donkey?”?
Kenny said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made aprofit of $898.”
Farmer asked, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Kenny replied, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his money back.”
Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron Corp
–from LA frogman
BROS CLUB REPORT–Wanted to let you know what’s happening here at BROSCLUB…Most of us enjoy the open road, but it’s the shits when you’re scoot takes acrap outside your own familiar territory. That’s why a BROSCLUB RoadsideAssistance membership is so valuable. The push is on for Sturgis and we’reenrolling new members and renewing old ones, by the droves.
With more than40,000 flatbeds, our coverage extends across the entire Country and Canadatoo. If you’re not a member of HOG, or if you ride a custom or any otherbrand, play it safe and pack a BROSCLUB membership in your saddlebag thisyear. Instant activation is available, enroll online at www.brosclub.org orcall toll free 24 hrs a day at 800-547-2767 (press option 2).
–DJ Coates, National Director
info@brosclub.org
BIKERNET STAFF RUMOR– I just discovered (from a private source),That theDigital Gangster is opening some high rise apartmentsnear the Seattle area.These high Class Condo’s Will beavailable to Bikers Only.There will be no security foryour scoots,so you will have to drive them into theliving room. All the plumbing has a new type areatedfeature , so please do not stand under the condo. AgentScoot signing out,somewhere in the boonies of Pennsylvania.
–freakinbiker
BIKERNET/HORSE SMOKE-OUT A SUCCESS–Somewhere in the Carolinas south of Charlotte, Edge, a military man and his wife launched the third Smoke-out at some fairgrounds. I was riding a 113-inch Ultra and following Mike Pullin the man behind the Run For Breath out of Charlotte. I didn’t have the slightest notion of where the hell I was. The weather was an oppressive 100 degrees and 100 percent humidity. I don’t know how that’s possible with a draught looming over the region.
As you can see the party was packed with activity and competitions including bike shows and actually watching a custom Sportster being built on the grounds. Our Crazyhorse painted the sheetmetal in the dusty barn and did one helluva job. As the sun set the Discovery Channel followed the crazyness in the camp grounds, Billy Lane and Roger Borget as the night exploded. Next year will be killer.
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