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BIKERNET FEATURE BIKE SCORES IN COLUMBUS–Ken Millers low nitrous rocket ship won a 3rd place award at the Columbus Easyriders Bike Show. Buried in snow the show still drew record crowds and some of the best iron in the country.
HOGS AND CHOPPERS.COM LAUNCHED–Our motorcycle online website is finally open to the public! As part of theofficial kick-off, we’re offering FREE advertising for base ads ( till 2-28-03) to get things moving along quickly.Just Go To: http://www.hogsandchoppers.com
PRE-DAYTONA BOOGIE–I had the honor of attending the Pre-Daytona Boogie in Kingston, NY today. Lots of factory customs and a surprising number of Borgets were in attandence as well as the usual home builts along with rows and rows of bubble wrap.
I guess I’ve been doing this just too damned long or I was just in a foul mood with the 8 degree, below zero temps. The crowds and the fat broads entered in the bikini contest again. Anyway, the only two wheeled toy that seemed to impress me this year was ridden by a fellow gimp running through the isles. Ginger has finally arrived. This 2 wheeled beauty just made it to the top 10 list of toys I just have to get my grubby little paws on.
Computerized gyroscopic works but only 12mph at this stage. Given a good flame job and some apes, look for the old Bear to be running around Sturgis and Laconia this year on the hottest new 2 wheeler avalable. I can’t wait to see what Billy Lane can do with one of these things,
–TBear
PIXIES STICKS RETURN–Anyone remember those?The local watering hole had a poker run yesterday. The Backwoods Baris just that, about ten miles into the Chassahowitzka Forest. One ofthe sign up babes had the daughter along, about 6 years old. She had a pixie stick that was near tall as she was. The little girlhands off the giant candy straw and mom ask “don’t you want any more?”
The little girl replies “no….. I’m full of it.”
As I’m throwing my leg over the Iron Horse I could not resist lookingback to her and answer “everyone says the same thing about me!”
She turns her head and frowns like a confused puppy dog. Everyone elsejust has a good laugh.
Am I the only one that loves a run along the ocean at sunset?
–FTW,
Stroker
BIKERNET OZARK REPORT–Just thought I’d give you a little update on things out here. Big Tall Roger went down and broke his hand. He had to have surgery and won’t be able to ride for a month or so. He said he had ridden up to Petit Jean Mountain with JB, and on the way home they split up at the lake. Roger lives on one side and JB on the other. He was heading down the little two lane road and the next thing he knew he was on the ground. He wasn’t even drinking. He has no clue what happened. Roger is a good rider and puts a lot of miles on his bike. It makes you think about how fast it can happen.
More bad news. a couple of weeks ago skitzo wanted me to bring him some supplies at the shop after work on a friday. He was broke and didn’t want to go on the titty bar tour. He was just going to work on his bike for a while and go home. I told him I wouldn’t get out till about 8 or so and don’t go anywhere without calling me. I didn’t get out till about 9 and when I got there he was gone. My girls cell phone was dead so
I decided to go to Miss Kittys and call him from there. When I got there he was there, looking for me. He’s kind of freaky about bumming off his friends, but he let me buy him beers and we shot pool for a while. We ended up in a little game with some other guys and we were there most of the night. Dammit. He got popped for DUI on his way home.
I felt sorta responsible because if it wasn’t for me he would have gone home, but then if he had called me before he left, we would have met up at the shop like we planned.
Some good news, the politicians tried to give us a new helmet law but it didn’t pass. We’re good for a couple of more years, but they’ll try again.
Philip took his little Panhead to the Easyriders show in Memphis and took home a first place for his class and a trophy for a specialty catagory of some kind. He’s really racking up the trophys. In fact he’s got a first place trophy at every show he’s taken it to.
Me and Titty bar Mike rode to the Abate swap meet, two weeks ago, and saw everybody I know. It was a fun day. there were a lot of bikes on the road and when we got on the freeway we saw a group of about six bikes ahead of us. We hammered until we caught them and then they wanted to race. We went flat out wide open for about 12 miles. The other guys kept up for about 6 of those miles and then we left them. It got down to just me and Mike. We weren’t racing each other but we just couldn’t slow down. It was the first time I had ridden my bike in a couple of weeks because of the weather and it just felt so good, I couldn’t go slow. after we left the swap meet, it was the same thing home. Hammered like it was my last time to ride. The weather has been ugly since then, so I’m just waiting. I have so much to do on my Shovel and my Evo is now a road shot piece of shit. It will never make it another year. If I could just get off my lazy ass, leave the bitches alone and work on the shovel. I could have it done by hot summer time. You can bet your ass that when the Evo blows, I’ll get it done fast.
Anyway, I’ll report more regularly when the weather breaks and we all start coming out of our holes.
–Ozark Ed
THE OSAMA CURSE–While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle in a cave and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said “Master, may I grant you one wish?”
“You ignorant unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don’t you know who I am? I don’t need any common woman giving me anything!” barked Bin Laden.
The shocked genie said “Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever.”
Osama thought a moment. Then he grumbled about the impertinence of the woman, and said “Very well, I want to awaken with three white American women in my bed in the morning, so just do it and be off with you!”
The highly annoyed genie said, “So be it!” and disappeared.
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding &Hillary Clinton.
His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had no health insurance.
— Genie is good.
LONGVIEW SWAP MEET FEBRUARY 23rd!–Howdy, The Texas Scooter Times here reminding everyone about the Texas Scooter Times upcoming Swap Meet in Longview–February 23rd at the Longview Fairgrounds!
Bikers will find motorcycle parts manufacturers and distributors that travel the country, selling by the volume at deep discounts. There’ll be Motorcycle Shops that sell the good used parts that are taken off bikes in their shops when customers want to change up their rides. There’ll be Jewelry Vendors, T-Shirt Hawkers, Leather Sellers and people peddling oddities of all kinds.
What ever it is you are looking for, IT’S HERE! – Live Band – Bargains – Parts & Party – Door prizes and other contests – TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS! – Don’t miss them!
HOURS: Gates open at 11am – Limited Vendor Space Still Available- please call the Texas Scooter Times for reservations.
NEW! – the Texas Scooter Times Paper is online now! Check it out for up to the minute happenings and new information on our events- Like the New GAMBLERS RACE! – and a New “Red’s Picture Page – Go to www.texasscooter.com and check them all out!.
For more info on a specific show and driving directions visit: www.texasscooter.com or call 254-687-9066
Also- Don’t Forget! The Texas Scooter Times is coming back to Dallas at the Longhorn Ballroom March 2nd for The Dallas Swap Meet! Don’t Miss it! And the Spring Championships in Sealy, Texas is just right around the corner! March 30th!
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Well, Hell month is almost over and as you read this, our trailer is someplacein the Atlantic heading to the shores of Florida. Now it’s just a few daysof catching up, resting a little bit and then Daytona Mayhem.
Kokko is here; too bad that Dollar could not make it since he had previousduties in Finland. I am convinced that I’m going to visit the frigidcountry, as well as Sweden early this Summer. Kokko has been ranting abouta cool bike show the first week end of June, a very insane ferry ride fromHelsinki and tall, busty blondes that would love to meet a Caribbean boy.Needless to say, it’s sold.Like always, it being pretty loco here, from the shop to the other shop,from there to the docks, back and forth, forth and back, our poor friendsare sick of all the places above, at least they are getting a pretty gooddose of strip joint honeys to unwind after all this boring chores.
The bike is done, sort of, there’s very little details that need to betaken care of, and as we all know, the complexity of simplicity…Thosetake the most time…As you might imagine I’m toast, so those will have towait ’till Daytona, and if we find time there, looks like it’s going to befun and hectic.
We are pretty excited about the ” merger” of The Horse, Choppers Inc andCaribbean Custom Cycles for the booth, which translates into a lot offriends on very cool choppers are coming to visit, I’ve received messagesfrom a bunch of friends who are showing up, that’s great !Now I’m going to ask our readers, I would like to know if there’s anyonewith a RevTech 100 inch motor and an SU carb, I have been trying to get mycarb to run for the past few days to no avail. I’m about to load theshotgun with double slugs and shoot the fucker…
I’m also on the process of getting another motor for the chopper, I guesswe are going to call her Nightmare…Why, because it’s been a fuckingnightmare for the past month…That bike commands a Panhead, so I’m trying to get a good deal on a motor,I am looking at one of those Pandemoniums from Custom Chrome/ ChromeSpecialties, besides I bet that kicking that 88″ would be a breeze comparedto a new 100 inch.
Billy Lane and Choppers Inc are working on the next Discovery chopper,Here’s the photos of the Camel bike as I promised last week, enjoy, and youwill be able to see the complete bike at the Camel Booth on Daytona BikeWeek.
I’m not going to rant about shit this week, but I’m saving the MasterBuilders bash for next week (ok, so here’s a preview) How come there’s alot of people calling themselves Master Builders ??? I always thought thatis a title you earn, not something that you just believe you are and postit on a magazine ad….Now that the chopper is done, I want to thank and shamelessly plug some ofmy good friends and fellow builders that have helped so much with thisproject;
Exhaust- Shamrock Fabrication.com
Gas and Oil tank, Twisted Choppers.com
Wheels- Black Bike, Choppers Inc.
Forwards, trees, grips, risers, etc…Accutronix.com
Motor and trans- Custom Chrome
Primary and Carb – Rivera Primo
Plate and brake light- Clayton engineering
Seat- PDQ upholstery
Bars- Choppers Inc
Brakes- Exile Cycles, SJP
Sliders- Forking by Franks…
I know I’m forgetting stuff and some of them, but all these guys can bereached thru the links page at my web site…www.ChopperFreak.comAnyway, enough bull…I’m going to sleep…I’ll be back next week with mypre Bike week report.
Hasta Luego..
Jose
THE NEWS IS EARLY–by design. I had to complete the news on Wednesday since a half-dozen jerks in white coats are due to come for me in the morning. You think I’m kidding? I’ll be out of touch for a couple of days while women will wisk around me like humming birds to a sweet tooth. I wish it was going to be kinky, but that’s not the case.
I’ve taken the new black King Mags to Century Motorcycles in San Pedro to have two new Avon Venom’s mounted. Can’t wait for the Powder Coating guys to deliver the parts. I spoke to our Tech Editor, Frank Kaisler who recommended that I punch holes in cardboard and stick all the fasteners inside, then spray them with gloss black. After we assemble the scoot, if we chip a fastener, they can be easily touched up.
The Panhead is running sweet and I’m still pondering straddling it for the ride to Sturgis. Seems appropriate for the 100th. A brother called the other day about a basket case Peashooter. Hope he’s not teasing me.
We’re in the process of redesigning our Bikernet Gulch and begin selling some hot scooter parts. I want to offer regular customers a way to get a deal choosing Bikernet. Let me know your thoughts. We’re thinking about carrying Cyril Huze’s line of wild stuff. Headwinds headlight line up and perhaps quality front ends from Perse. Of course we’ll continue to carry HA leather, Crime Inc and Joker Apparel.
Just one more Jack Daniels before the authorities come after me. See ya next week.
–Bandit
FROM THE DESK OF LAYLA–We were having some issues with bringing up the submissions of our Free Contest, however, Digital Disaster has worked out all the kinks. You guys were probably wondering if anyone ever really won anything. Well you do. I have a basement load of prizes ready for shipment and I’ve already picked a few winners. They’ll be posted in next weeks news. www.bikernet.com/contest
I know you’ve been waiting a long time but Sin and I are gonna be busy for a couple of days.
Bandit mentioned people coming for him in white coats and being out of touch for a couple days. Well, the big guy had to go in for a little surgery this morning. Too much lifting weights and motorcycle engines finally caught up with him,(no deers involved). I was suppose to launch the news this morning but decided to give the headquarters a Spring clean instead. Sorry about that but at least it’s still on time. The surgery went well and he’s resting, but now comes the work. Men, they’re worse than babies when they don’t feel good.
Speaking of men not feeling well, I also want to wish Chris Tronolone a speedy recovery. He flew here to California from Hawaii to buy a motorcylce and has been in the hospital with Pneumonia ever since he returned home. I hope you feel better soon Chris, we miss your jokes.
One more for my sis. Chris Kranzler AKA- She-Wolf, has been battling Mutiple Sclerosis and not winning much. She contributed numerous articles to Bikernet that added a female touch and now she is silent. I miss her stories and I know she misses writing them. You’re on my mind constantly Chris, and I miss and love you.
Layla
