Hey, well it’s back to wacky biz as usual. The women are nuts, the chrome is ready and the Jack Daniels is running low. Brothers already gabbin’ about Daytona and Laughlin. The year is in full swing.
Mums the word from me. I’m hangin’ low for a couple of weeks. Deadlines loom ahead, but watch for the next Shrunken FXR tip, the CCI Goliath wrap and new fiction. Oh, I’m going to run a feature on travelin’ to Daytona. Some advice from a New Englander who rode to Bike week in the ’70s snorted angel dust and never left.
Let’s hit the new:
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MORON–Bank Robber Arrives Early, Waits Outside Wearing Face Mask.He politely waited in line with other customers.
Solving crimes is usually a lot harder than police made it seem Friday. But they admit their job was made easier because the two bank robbers they were looking for weren’t that bright.One robbery suspect, caught at 10 a.m., didn’t want to be late. So, he waited outside the Zions Bank at 4300 W. 5400 South dressed in full robbery gear, donning a face mask over a hooded sweater, before the bank opened.
He politely waited in line with other customers, said Capt. Dave Burdett of the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office.
“You have to wonder what they’re thinking,” he said. “One of the customers thought he was wearing the mask because of a SARS type of deal.”
Witnesses said that after distracting the teller for a moment, the suspect, 36, reached over to grab money from the teller’s drawer. Customers who saw him trying to steal the cash, including a reporter for a local television station, tackled the unarmed robber and were soon aided by bank workers, Burdett said.
“We usually try to discourage that, but it was good work by citizens,” he said.
The second robber of the day just lacked imagination.
“He robbed the exact same bank he robbed seven years ago,” Burdett said of the 27-year-old suspect, whose heist took place at U.S. Bank at 4100 South and Redwood Road on Tuesday. The bank “went by some other name at the time, but it was the same building.”
The robber’s parole officer recognized him from a surveillance photo and turned him in. Police quickly caught him.
–from Rogue
17th ANNUAL DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL–Much more than just another custom show, the DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL has become one of the most prestigious and anticipated motorcycle events in the country. And this year’s Invitational is on track to be a real mind blower.
Thanks to world wide media exposure and an exceptionally professional and well thought out presentation, the event has grown in attendance and stature to the point that this years get together has been extended to 2 full days. That’s 2 days for enthusiasts and the merely curious to experience the finest in custom machines while rubbing elbows with world famous builders, designers and manufacturers.
Attendees will be treated to a huge, 40,000 sq ft motorcycle swap meet and an extensive vendor’s row featuring over 300 booths. DRAG SPECIALTIES, BIKER’S CHOICE, J&P CYCLE, LEGENDS AIR SUSPENSION, HOUSE OF COLOR and other industry leaders will display the latest in custom and restoration hardware, and provide on site technical assistance. Additionally, if you ever wanted to quiz industry giants like Dave Perewitz and Donnie Smith on their styling techniques, building secrets and thoughts on where the industry is headed, here’s your chance.
Need more? A huge collection of door prizes, catalogs, CDs, magazines and exclusive dealer and manufacturer presentations are just a few show features you can expect. Most importantly visitors will be treated to over 200,000 sq ft of mild to wild displays packed with the most unique and highest quality custom, high performance and antique motorcycles ever assembled under one roof. This wide variety of machines encompassing 42 classes, including a spectacular Pro Class, will be competing for both cash and trophy awards.
Hosted by Master Builder Donnie Smith and Neill Ryan of American Thunder Promotions, the DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL has become a “must attend” for domestic and international motorcycling press, private and professional builders and major manufacturers. The 17th running of this highly acclaimed event will be held Saturday and Sunday, March 27-28, 2004, in the spectacular St. Paul River Center at the Touchstone Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. This full service, contemporary setting is just minutes for the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport and surrounded by accommodations to meet any taste.
The DONNIE SMITH INVITATIONAL is indeed a very special event and one you don’t want to miss. Bring your friends and family and enjoy a weekend of fine motorcycles, the latest in custom accessories, entertainment and good times. Tickets are available at the show for just $10.00 a day! For additional information including space reservation, contact American Thunder Promotions at 952-226-1180.
BIKERNET PHARMACY– A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it’s a free market. A toy company can outsource to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it’s a free market. A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it’s a free market. We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico.
We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from many different countries and it’s not considered un-American. It is then referred to as a global economy. BUT, heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian (Or Mexican) pharmacy. That’s called un-American! And you think the pharmaceutical companies don’t have a powerful lobby?
Think again!
Old cartoon from Bob T.
BIKERNET FARMING ADVICE–One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into an old well. The animal criedpiteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to becovered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They allgrabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well.
Soon, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovelloads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He wasastonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doingsomething amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up!
As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of theanimal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edgeof the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick togetting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Eachof our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepestwells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take astep up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less
The donkey later came back and kicked the shit out of the farmer whohad tried to bury him. The gash from the kick got infected, and the farmereventually died in agony from blood poisoning.
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass,it always comes back to get you!
–from Geno, The HORSE
THUNDER MOUNTAIN H-D CHOPPERS–It sounds like the Motor Company is finally going into the Custom Chopper Business. I went to the official unvailing of the Thunder Mountain/Harley Davidson Choppers last week.
Pretty slick bikes, but I am questioning the price-$35,900.00 some models even include Jesse James fenders…
THE BIKER READING MAN–I read Orwell last summer and really enjoyed it. As you are a writer I assume you must be a reader too, though if you’re like me it’s hard to find enough time to read everything you would like to. I am writing to recommend the book “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman to you. It has a lot in common with your book and I think you might enjoy it.
While “American Gods” has strong writing, and a theme that bears resemblance to Orwell, it doesn’t have anything to do with motorcycles or the biker life.
I’ve noticed that you have used some of my submissions and the accompanying quotes in Bikernet.com and I just wanted to say how honored I am. I would like to offer to send you a few quotes each week if you are interested.
I’ll try to keep your audience in mind but as a 55 year old blue collar, United Autoworker and concerned American I find a lot of my biking friends are being mislead as to the motives of the conservative agenda. Union Shops, good wages, paid overtime, healthcare, 30 and out retirement pensions, freedom to associate with whomever a person wants and American jobs these are things that mean a lot to me.
I don’t give a flying fuck what the pansy ass, ultra-religious, frat boys do to each other, but it’s high time someone spoke up for the working class values, that made a man a man and pointed out the fucking the working stiff is getting today.
–Nick
We look forward to them. I too consider Bikernet a site for the working man. –Bandit
DAYTONA BEACH BIKE WEEK IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER–Starts February 27th 2004 and runs To March 7th. Time to start thinking about getting ready for it. As usual I will keep you supplied with info as best I can. Watch for a “Survive Bike Week Report” on Bikernet in the next week.
–Rogue
ROGUE’S BAD COP INVESTIGATION– Top Cop FIRED South Carolina – Police Chief T. “Billy” Haynie was fired over the weekend, Calhoun Falls Mayor Johnnie Waller announced Monday.
The termination of the 30-year police veteran came less than a week after the State Law Enforcement Division released details of its investigation into whether the 66-year-old chief sexually assaulted Frances Lewis, a 68-year-old police officer?s widow, in October 2002.
SLED?s evidence included sworn statements by Town Administrator Deborah Parks claiming she had been continually harassed by the chief and a statement from town resident Patricia Wells, alleging the chief tried to grope her when she was working as an assistant manager at a convenience store.
Bad Cop… No Doughnut!
–Rogue
A MILD MANNERED MAN– A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so hewent to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem,and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
The man stormedinto the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face,he said, “From now on, I want you to know that ‘I’ am the man of this house,and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, andwhen I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And,when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb myhair?”
“The fucking funeral director,” said his wife
–from Rev CarlR
ROGUE BACKS OFF COPS–Just so the Cops don?t think I am picking on them, with the Bad Cop reports, here are some Dumb Crook items:
Virginia Beach:A bank robber in got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. “He was seen hopping and jumping around,” said police spokesman Mike Carey, “with an explosion taking place inside his pants.” Police have the man’s charred trousers in custody.
Go Ahead… Take It!:Mrs. Hollis Sharpe was walking her poodle, one night on a Los Angeles street when she was attacked by a mugger, shoved to the ground, and forced to hand over her purse. No doubt congratulating himself on his easy mugging, the mugger ran off. Unfortunately for the mugger, inside Mrs. Hollis Sharpe’s purse was just one item: a plastic bag she had just finished using to scoop up after her poodle.
Jacksonville, Florida:A Jacksonville, Florida robber couldn’t quite get it together when it came to disguising himself. He stuck up a grocery store, wearing a paper bag with cut-out eyeholes over his head. But during the attempted stickup, the bag shifted and the eyeholes were no longer over his eyes, so he couldn’t see a thing. To make matters worse, a few seconds later the bag split open, completely revealing his face to the sales clerk. She immediately recognized him as a regular customer – and called the cops when he left.
New Guns For Police To Battle Criminals:Police in the Vietnamese capital have a new gun in their holsters and it’s got a colourful bang. They’ve armed themselves with paintball guns to brand and track criminals and illegal motorbike racers. The guns, introduced Monday, will be used to pelt thieves and racers with red, yellow and green dyes, said Tran Quoc Hung, administrative head of Hanoi’s police. The guns have a range of 10 metres and will help police to track fast-moving suspects on motorcycles who could otherwise dart unnoticed into a sea of other bikes. Robbery is not a major problem in Hanoi, but street racing on motorbikes is becoming more common.
Thanks For The “Tip”A man broke into a jewelry store in the middle of the night. Once inside he broke the glass case to extract the jewelry — so excited and anxious to get his hands on the diamonds in the case he did not notice, that when he broke the glass, with his hand, he cut the tip end of one of his fingers off. When police arrived, they merely fished the top portion of the finger out, printed it, and ran a match program. The man was arrested within a few hours of his crime.
One Dumb Crook:A fellow robbed a supermarket of about $5000. The local newspaper ran the story, but with the amount given as $7000. The thief called the newspaper to complain about the inaccuracy and to suggest that maybe the store manager ripped off the extra $2000 and was unjustly blaming the thief. The people at the newspaper kept him busy on the phone giving his version of the story while the police traced the call to a phone booth and arrived to arrest him while he was still talking to the newspaper!
–from Rogue
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