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PAINT JOB OF THE WEEK–from Jim’s Cycle Painting. WWW.JimsCyclePainting.com or call (310) 329-4707.
HAMSTERS TO STURGIS ITINERARY–Depart ARLENS Sunday Aug 1st for Winnamucca, NV.
Mon. Aug 2nd, Winnamucca to Sun Valley, ID.
Tues. Aug 3rd, lay over day in Sun Valley.
Wed. Aug 4th, Sun Valley to Jackson Hole , WY.
Thurs. Aug 5th, Jackson to Cody WY. via Yellowstone.
Friday Aug 6th, Cody to Buffalo, WY.
Sat. Aug 7th, Buffalo to Spearfish, SD.
We will have only 40 rooms booked each night for the ride, so the first 40 of you to book will get in on them.Those waiting ’til the last minute are welcome to ride with us but will have to find their own rooms.
It is up to you to contact any Hamster friends who wish to make the ride with us and have them contact me directly.? If you are going, be sure to contact me as soon as possible! Preference will be given to Hamsters first for the rooms!
Barry Cooney 760-745-9442
DATE PREPARATIONS–To prepare for his big date the young man went on topof the roof of his apartment building in order to get alittle color for himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, hesunbathed in the nude.
Unfortunately he fell asleep while on the roof andsunburned his Johnson. Being very determined the young man decidednot to miss his date, because it was a hot blonde. So, he put somelotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. Feeling this shouldresolve his painful situation.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment,and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which theywent into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however the young man’s sunburnstarted acting up.After several minutes of extreme discomfort he askedto be excused.
A friend had told him that milk was very effective inreducing sunburn pain so he went to the kitchen, and poured a tall coldglass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in themilk and experienced immediate relief.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing,wandered into the kitchen to find him with his “tool” immersed in theglass of milk.
With a look of understanding the Blondeexclaimed,………..
“SO, THAT’S HOW YOU LOAD THOSE THINGS ”
–from Rogue
BIKERNET TAX LESSONS–Accounts Receivable Tax,Building Permit Tax,Capital Gains Tax,CDL license Tax,Cigarette Tax,Corporate Income Tax,Court Fines,(indirect taxes),Dog License Tax,Federal Income Tax,Federal Unemployment Tax(FUTA),Fishing License Tax,Food License Tax,Fuel permit tax,Gasoline Tax(42 cents per gallon),Hunting License Tax,Inheritance Tax Interest expense(tax on the money),Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges(tax on top of tax),IRS Penalties(tax on top of tax),Liquor Tax,Local Income Tax,Luxury Taxes,Marriage License Tax,Medicare Tax,Property Tax,Real Estate Tax,Septic Permit Tax,Service Charge Taxes,Social Security Tax,Road Usage Taxes(Truckers),Sales Taxes,Recreational Vehicle Tax,Road Toll Booth Taxes,School Tax,State Income Tax,State Unemployment Tax,(SUTA)Telephone federal excise tax,Telephone federal universal service fee tax,Telephone federal, state andlocal surcharge taxes,Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax,Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax,Telephone state and local tax,Telephone usage charge tax,Toll Bridge Taxes,Toll Tunnel Taxes,Traffic Fines(indirect taxation),Trailer registration tax,Utility Taxes,Vehicle License Registration Tax,Vehicle Sales Tax,Watercraft registration Tax,Well Permit Tax,Workers Compensation Tax,
COMMENTS:Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What the hell happened???
–from Redhorse
NEW XL FRAME FROM CHOPPERS UNLIMITED!–(JACKSONVILLE, NC) Choppers Unlimited again grabs the high ground with theirjust announced 180 Big Twin and 250 Sportster rigid frames, available ineither carbon or polished stainless steel, with popular pricing thatdelivers American made quality and real world affordability in a traditionaldesign.
All CUs frames, including their beautiful polished stainless option, are100% TIG welded and accept four, five, or six-speed transmissions. Customrakes from 20 to 60 degrees and downtube stretch up to 20 inches are laid upusing their proprietary frame geometry calculator (online atwww.choppersunlimited.com) to achieve the correct trail for civilizedhandling at no additional charge.
Tech Specs:
1 5/16 carbon steel
1 3/8 polished stainless steel
price includes customer choice of rake and stretch
accepts four, five, and six speed transmissions
available as frame only, roller, super roller, and turnkey
frames begin at $990.00 MSRP
rollers begin at $4,900.00 MSRP
choice of 3/4 or 1 rear axle
drive side braking or standard offset for conventional brake setup
Kjell Bjerke
Choppers Unlimited
256 S. Marine Blvd.
Jacksonville, NC 28540
Work: (910) 938-3375
Fax: (910) 989-0061
Email: choppers@choppersunlimited.com
www.choppersunlimited.com
ONE RINGY DINGY–Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful big breasted nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest.
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground. Embarrassed, he took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up the bell.
As he did, all of the other bells started to ring…
–from Jill Z.
BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP CORNER–A dinner conversation that took the wrong turn –
WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”
HUSBAND: “Definitely not!”
WIFE: “Why not – don’t you like being married?”
HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”
WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”
HUSBAND: “Okay, I’d get married again.”
WIFE: “You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).”
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”
WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?”
HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”
WIFE: “Would she wear my jewelry?”
HUSBAND: “Well, I suppose so.”
WIFE: “Would she use my golf clubs?”
HUSBAND: “No, she’s left-handed.”
WIFE: – – – silence – – –
HUSBAND: “S**t…”
–from Chris T.
Hi Layla, Did you take the riding class yet?? Here is another pic of our South Bay HOG Chapter, we rode our motorcycles in the Hermosa Beach parade on Saturday. I made these outfits. Hey thanks so much for posting our ABATE flyer.
Later Isabel
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– After a couple weeks of forced hiatus I guess we are back in full force. I just took the endeavor of moving, now Bikernet has done the same. Not an easy task at all, much less when you have amassed as much stuff as we all have. Our “toys” which sometimes take part of our own house (been to the headquarters so I know), getting new Internet hook ups, phones, address changes and all that stupid crap that still does take time, but as always it is all for the better. Congratulations to the crew for their new headquarters, and save me a space for a chop and to lay down…..
The Daytona report should be here soon. I did it as soon as I got back in order to keep things fresh (in my mind) or in other words, not forget. There are a lot of cool photos from Frank Kaisler coming soon and there’s others on my site as well. I don’t want to give anything away, but I guess the Daytona report will have some stuff added to it as I read it once more.
On the Caribbean front, I have a few more bikes almost done and some more at the table getting mocked up. We have been busting our asses trying to catch up on all the time lost during the move and Daytona. I hope that by next week I’ll have some photos of the progress. Speaking of putting bikes together, my friend Devon has a gig going on, he does some very cool bars. They come in three styles, Drag, Elk and Ape, all 1 1/4 dom and TIG welded, to top it off he can do any bars you want and add any designs you might find cool, here’s some photos of the bars and his web site is
I’m not just pluggin his work, I really find that with the weird rakes, new style of tanks and whatever (since I fucking hate the words–what not!!!), you can get the proper rise and bar angles so they don’t hit the precious paint. He also does a bunch of other stuff so show your support and let him know Jose sent you. I will be adding some photos of the progress on the bike and bars, maybe with photos you will know what I mean about clearance. Soon, very soon.
I’m working on my Sturgis bobber/early chopper, I thought it would be cool to share with you Chopper freaks a few parts that I have found. These are all going into my 65 Pan motor. ??I for one drool every time I see these…..I want to thank Irish Rich as well for all his help on the bob/chop…. And I guess we all know who Rich is… http:// www.shamrockfabrication.com?
I want to add that we had such a great time amongst friends over in Daytona. I will save mentioning the names, since it’s a very long list, and I don’t want to sound like I’m dropping names. With all the bullshit going on, I really believe the best part and maybe the reason to go to these events is to be able to hang out with this guys (and girls) no doubt about it.
Thanks for all the e-mails on the seat tech, the final part is already done (minus the upholstery) so I will send it to the powers to be pretty soon so they can cyber post it. Again, if there’s any tech questions that you might have, or anything you might want to be featured, let us know, and if I happen to be doing something similar I will be happy to snap shots and do it.
Well, this is it for now, gotta wait ’till the Daytona report so I don’t repeat myself.Back to work it is, by the way, when you go to work in these “pimpalas”, it?s a lot more fun.
See you next week
Jose?- Caribbean Bikernet Reporter
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