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BIKERNET RADIO INTERVIEWS THE EDITOR OF EASYRIDERS–Branscombe Richmond chats up Dave Nichols of Easyriders Magazine fame on Bikernet Radio. Easyriders is celebrating their 35th Anniversary and the boys talk about the new TV show on Speed call V-Twin TV, the legacy of Indian Larry. You won’t want to miss it! Tune In, Turn On and enjoy your show right here at Bikernet Radio.
-Jeffe
NAVY RETIREMENT BONUS–The Navy found they had too many people, and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer or senior nco who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. They would get to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.” It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to “drop ’em,” which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s weenie and began to work back.
Dear Lord!” he suddenly exclaimed, “Where are your testicles?”
The old Chief calmly replied, “Vietnam.”
BIKERNET BONNEVILLE 2006 EFFORT SPONSOR SPEAKS OUT–I’m sponsoring three of the bikes, all Harleys, that will be competing in these trials. I’m furnishing Amsoil lubricants for all three. I’m also planning to ride there for the event.
It’s not like me to take sides buy I know, with Valerie Thompson behind the bars, the Salt Shaker and Bonne Belle 45 Flathead from Bikernet will mow the Chop And Grind, sand snortin’ bastards into the salt.
Here’s a link for more info if you are interested. http://www.bikernet.com/bubs/
–Nick
For All Your High Performance Lubrication Supplies.
http://www.synthetic-oil-tech.com/1124190/
Nick’s Performance Accessories
Independent Amsoil Dealer ZO# 1124190
9608 Tiverton Way
Louisville, Kentucky,40242
Phone: 502-548-3023 Fax: 509-691-4313
“Always do the right thing. It’ll gratify some and astonish the rest.”- Mark Twain
COLESLAW WRESTLING GIRLS MISSING–What ever happened to the cute dollies that originally did the wrestling? Obvious they do not want to go against the Tons of Fun.
Not many of the spectators are interested in seeing these big women. Maybe the promoters will get the message and get weight groups and the interest back up.
Other places are producing Pudding Wrestling and I’ll be there. No I did not go to the Cabbage Patch.
— ROGUE
BIKE WEEK CRUNCH TIME FOR SLAW AND THE LAW–SAMSULA — For most of the year, this crossroads hamlet is a quiet place, home to horse farms, rural subdivisions and Slovenians, descendants of immigrants fond of polka and klobasa.
But for a few days each fall and winter during bike events, the Slawvenians arrive, en masse on motorcycles, shaking the asphalt of Tomoka Farms Road on their way to Sopotnick’s Cabbage Patch Bar. They are held together not by heritage but by a desire to watch women wrestle in coleslaw and reveal their breasts.
Wednesday afternoon in the dust and smoke of center stage, the defending champ is mildly annoyed. Star Anderson, 24, a four-time title holder from Daytona Beach who has never been beaten here, is one of 14 contestants vying for a $500 first prize and the decided favorite.Wearing a sports bra and hip-hugging gym shorts, the champ sits on a bench awaiting the start of the competition.
Her preparation is all mental. “I don’t train,” she says. “I’m fat.”
Her secret is “make it quick,” storm your opponent like Mike Tyson in his prime. This strategy is well-known to the woman on her left, soft-spoken Mouse Crober, 23, a fellow competitor from Port Lavaca, Texas, who finished second to Anderson at Biketoberfest.
To Anderson’s right sits Ron Luznar, 60, Cabbage Patch owner and master of the coleslaw wrestling universe, which extends a few acres by land and across the globe by word of mouth and World Wide Web.
But here’s what’s disrupting Anderson’s pre-match concentration: On Luznar’s lap sits Jade DeLuxxxor (her “stage name”), a Hustler magazine cover girl whose bikini top flings open at the slightest suggestion.
She is a “special guest” at today’s proceedings, a working girl who sells 8-by-10 photos of her topless self with male customers willing to pay $20 for a print. A Mohawked, ponytailed bodyguard shadows Jade’s every move, as do a dozen male photographers.
The hubbub harasses Anderson, trying to keep her eyes focused on the prize. “I always get caught in the middle of this” stuff, she says, and moves under the shade of a nearby tent to get away.
Flashing breasts is a Cabbage Patch tradition, if not everywhere you look then whenever you ask for it from a woman so inclined. It is a treasured memory for some.Retired IBM engineer Roger Craver, a 70-year-old from Virginia who has biked all over the country and calls Sopotnick’s “the place to be on Wednesdays,” remembers his first Cabbage Patch flash a decade ago as if it was yesterday.
“Got my first (crude phrase for flashing) right over there,” Craver says, pointing across the room as he rests behind the pool table in the bar, covered ceiling to floor in scrawled messages, photos, stickers and signs. The bar was built in 1926 and now serves as a dark oasis in a sea of vendors and black leather outside on the grounds.
Clamping down on flashing is not the first priority of the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office, says spokesman Gary Davidson. Public safety, crowd control and traffic control top the list for the 15 on-duty deputies and eight off-duty officers working the event.
If someone is putting on a naked show and inciting the crowd, deputies might give them a verbal warning or make an arrest, according to Davidson, but they always have to weigh whether a topless arrest will cause more problems with crowd control than it solves.
The crowd lining the fence is controlled but impatient. A serious injury to a stunt motorcycle rider before the wrestling dampened the mood and delayed the competition, but by 2 p.m. the women enter the pit of shredded cabbage and vegetable oil, under the watchful eye of referee Two-Dollar Jim, aka James Earl Steen of Deltona.
No hitting, no punching, no scratching, no pulling hair, says Two-Dollar Jim to the competitors. A pin for a three-count is a winner.
The early matches separate pretenders from contenders. Linda Hall, 44, of Orange City is attempting a comeback after a wrestling career in various semiliquids that includes a concussion suffered in a creamed corn competition. Alas, Hall, wrestling under the name Luscious, falls to “Sauerkraut” in the first round.
Anderson, meanwhile, lives up to her billing with a 90-second pin in the first round, but this will not be her day for sustaining the dynasty. In a seven-minute championship match, she loses to “Gunpowder” and settles for second place.
She always knew this day would come.”Anybody can beat me,” Anderson said before the tournament. “They just gotta catch me at the right moment.”
–By CAL MASSEYStaff Writer, Daytona New Journal
–from Rogue
TRIBUTE TO LICO–We have all had heroes in our lives. Lico was one, but in his simplicity would never allow to be considered one…… Val “Moon” Zarate
Florentino “Lico” Subia, 75, passed away on March 5, 2006. He was born and raised in El Paso, Texas. Lico was a veteran of the Korean War, serving his country in the United States Army. He received a U.N. Svc. Medal, Korean Svc. Medal with Svc. Star and the National Defense Svc. Medal.
He was employed by Western Union for 29 years as a motorcycle messenger. In 1978 he founded and was President of the Iron Horses Motorcycle Club. He was a board member of the Legal Services Corporation and a member of the Citizens Advisory Board of Central Regional Command Center.
Lico also belonged to the Huacheros Del Chicken Coop and was an avid boxer and trainer with Chihuahuita Community Center. He also raced in motocross.
Preceded in death by his son, Florentino Subia Jr., his survivors include his wife; Mickie Subia, sons; Alex and Ricardo Subia and Alberto Kondo, daughters; Cheryl Leah Subia and Maria Teresa Subia and Raquel Hernandez, brothers; Francisco Subia and Chris Lerma, sisters; Francisca Alvarado, Dolores Gomez and Bessie Gomez, 9 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.
NHTSA MOTORCYCLE SAFETY ISSUES–The National Highway Traffic Safety Association opened their door recently to public comment. It’s a chance of a lifetime to express your views regarding motorcycle safety. Here’s the address: http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/email.cfm
. Below are the comments I made to them:
I appreciate the chance to contact you regarding Motorcycle Safety issues. I will try to be brief. Since between 70-85 percent of all motorcycle accidents are the fault of motorists I believe that respect and recognition are key issues. I believe there are a few helpful basic elements:
Motorcycle Training
Motorcycle Recognition
Respect for Riders
Training is a key issue and should be continued in every state.Efforts made to help citizens improve their awareness of motorcycles are vital.Some states afford HOV use, but I believe there’s another step we can take–create a motorcycle lane between the HOV lane and lane one–3 feet wide.
Public education about motorcycling will heighten awareness and understanding.
I’m also in the process of working closely with the MRF, the MIC and SEMA to develop a noise understanding. Motorcycles have only two means of protection, visual and auditory. Motorcycles need to make enough noise to enhance awareness and prevent accidents.
I believe that a key issue is psychological. If motorist come to respect and revere the freedom to ride we will have safer roads. If we treat cyclists as second class citizens, they will be constant targets.
I have been in this industry for over 35 years. As you know strength in any form develops respect. Thank you for your time.
KRB
5-Ball Inc.
Bikernet.com
BIKERNET DAYTONA PHOTO ART EXHIBIT– Shot this at the Harley Expo next to Destination Daytona last weekend.
Ride Hard,
Whiplash Biker Photog
mailto:soffordphotos@comcast.net>
STEALTH NORTH CAROLINA BIKE WORKS SPECIAL REPORT–We got our first Panhead to work on this week at STEALTH BIKE WORKS! The Pan is a ’51 model and it is a very nice bike. I have always loved those old Panheads. In my opinion they had the sweetest look of all the engines.
As far as bikes go around the Charlotte area, things are starting to rev up. Bike nights are popping up everywhere. Man it’s funny how things change. A lot of us who visit Bikernet regularly will remember the day when bikers were not welcomed at these establishments. I wonder what changed all of this? I wonder if money had anything to do with it?
Speaking of the way things used to be, the Discovery show, The History Of The Chopper with Jesse James was really cool. I really got into those old pictures and it was good to see Jesse pay tribute to those who came before him. To me Jesse James is a cool guy. Yeah, I know a lot you are saying he has gone “Hollywood” and he is a sell out. I don’t think so. Which one of us would not have taken advantage of the opportunity? He is a very talented bike builder and a very smart guy.
You know when you are running a bike shop everyday you meet some interesting people from all walks of life. We have the “Real Deal” bikers, we have the “Do it youself ” riders, we have the ” New Kids” and the “I can build a bike for $2500 group,” and last but not least the infamous “Posers.” These are the worst. They try to impress you with what they know and the more you let them talk the less they impress you.
They all believe they have to go to their local dealer at least once a week to worship the “Almighty Factory Gods. I guess our “FTF” stickers don’t go over with this group very well? The “$2500 dollar bike group is close behind the fore mentioned group. No matter what you say or try to explain to them, they know someone who built a bike for $2500! The “Do it yourselfers” are cool. They take pride in what they do and always come by the shop to show off what they did. I dig this! The “New Kids,” the ones with the real spirit are cool, if they listen. Theywant to learn and we give our advice free. In a way we are passing the torch along to these guysand that is a good thing. All of this makes running a shop an adventure everyday and it makes meappreciate the “Real Deal” guys everyday.
the guys come in who don’t ride for one reason or another. The longer we are here the longer the list grows. Some reasons we hear are ” I used to ride but my friend had a wreck and lost all of his limbs so I quit. We have all heard that one! ” I used to ride and really be into bikes but now I am so not into it anymore.” Well guess what, you never were into it! For us who read and write for Bikernet and Mr. Bandit bikes and riding is in our soul and in our hearts, so how could we just one day “be so not into it anymore?” PLEASE! Now for the best or the worst of all of them, depending on which way you look at it, “I used to ride but my girlfriend or wife made me sell my bike!” Grow some balls! Have some backbone! If you let someone make you sell your bike, well you probably did not belong anyway.
Well, with all of that being said I fell much better. I haven’t had one of those in awhile so I guess I was due.
Until next week, RIDE!
–STEALTHMAN
TOP FOUR ADULT JOKES OF 2005– Number 2Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number ofyears when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had aterrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickleslicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk aboutit, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome thecompulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and hiswife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
“What’s wrong,Bill?” she asked. “Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendousurge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?” “Oh, Bill, you didn’t!” sheexclaimed.
“Yes, I did.” he replied. “My God, Bill, what happened?”
“I gotfired.”
“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”
“Oh…shegot fired too.”
Number 1,A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfasttable one morning when the wife says, “Just think, fifty years ago we weresitting here at this breakfast table together.”
“I know,” the old man said.”We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.”
“Well,”Granny snickered. “Let’s relive some old times.” Where upon, the twostripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
“You know, honey,” thelittle old lady breathlessly replied, “My nipples are as hot for you todayas they were fifty years ago.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps.”One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”
We thought the other two Best Jokes of The Year sucked.–Bandit
DAYTONA ACCEPTS WOODEN INDIAN– DAYTONA BEACH — A life-sized wooden Indian overlooks a parade of rumbling motorcycles on Main Street during this week’s Bike Week festivities.But not long ago, the statue was branded a rogue.A code enforcement citation for hanging out in front of John Sanchez’s Rock & Ride shop during last October’s Biketoberfest had banished the life-size carving inside — out of sight from passing foot traffic.
There’s been a sort of treaty. City Building Official Greg France said the fur-and-skull festooned figure is now permitted to enjoy the exhaust fumes and hoopla from the sidewalk.
“The cigar Indian can be on his property with stipulations,” France said. The statue must be anchored, off the right-of-way and can’t impede entry.”It apparently was a problem — put in the way and used to hang merchandise in violation,” France said.But he said people called the city when a fine was slapped on the figurine.
“There was a (public) outrage,” he said.Among those who criticized the city is the Rev. Al Gannon of Tampa, a long-time Bike Week visitor.
“It’s just harassment,” Gannon said Monday.
Travelin’ John Britz, a minister from Export, Pa. , has handed out bibles a few feet from the Indian statue during Bike Weeks for years. He said the city “made a mountain out of a molehill.”
And first-time Bike Week visitor, Bill “Schultz” Leadbitter from Pittsburgh said “they probably just had to pay somebody to do what they wanted to do.”
The 12-year-old statue, decked out with motorcycle-encrusted glass beads, is considered an attention-getting sign, France said. The permit to allow it: $22.
“A bunch of years ago we started selling cigars, and this guy who came from the Philippines was dealing in carvings from monkeywood. I bought this one right from his backyard,” Sanchez said.
Monkeywood is slang for the monkey apple tree, often used for carving and native to Florida, said Gulab Gidwani, owner of Exotic Wood Company in New Jersey.
“Puerto Ricans are very spiritual, and my mother had saints and candles and a similar Indian in the corner. When my mother saw my Indian, she blessed it, so it’s sacred to me — like my mother is looking over us,” Sanchez said. “I am glad to have it back out.”
By AUDREY PARENTE
–from Rogue
Motorcycle Hall Of Fame Member 2005
BAMA BIKE FEST– I will be in Daytona for Bike week when you read this and for those of you that did not make it or are still up for some more partying I will be attending the Bama Bike Fest in Forkland Alabama on March 17-18-19th Now this is going to be a Party. Adult Type – No Kids – If Nudity Offends You Stay Home – 24 Hour Getting Down Southern Style
Check out their web site at http://www.bamabikefest.com/
Come On Out and Party With Me and look for reports here on Bikernet after the event.
–from ROGUE
Friday March 17th, 2006
THE PARTY STARTS AT 5:00 PM, BUT YOUR WELCOME TO SHOW UP A LITTLE EARLY, PITCH YOUR TENT AND GET SETUP BEFORE THE PARTY. The HOG WILD SALOON will be open.
– RALLY BEGINS, OFFICIAL WELCOME
– DRINKING GAMES for ALL
– LIVE BAND
– WOMEN’S PICKLE SUCKING CONTEST
– BEST ASS SHAKIN’ CONTEST (FEMALE & MALE)
– WOMEN’S NIPPLE SIZING CONTEST.
– MEN’S SEXIEST UNDERWEAR, WOMEN’S SEXIEST UNDERWEAR CONTEST!
Saturday March 18th, 2006
– POKER RUN
– BIKE GAMES. SLOW RACE, WEENIE BITE, KEG TOSS. CLOTHING OPTIONAL
– LIVE BAND
– DRINKING GAMES for ALL
– FREE TITTY PAINTING FOR LADIES
– BIKE SHOW
– TATTOO CONTEST, BIKE SHOW WINNERS ANNOUNCED
– DINNER TIME, SHOP, EAT & REST UP FOR THE NITE TIME EVENTS.
– WOMEN’S PUDDING WRESTLING CONTEST
– LARGEST & SMALLEST BREAST’S CONTEST
– COUPLES AMATEUR BODY PAINTING CONTEST
– WET T – SHIRT CONTEST AND GRAND FINALE!
–Rogue
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