2045: The Unsubscribed

The (not so distant) Future of Motorcycling

Who will the motorcyclists be a generation from now? What will they be riding and where will they be riding it to?  If you’re reading this, you’ll be very happy you ride now.

The bad news is there was no good news until last week.  Motorcycles were inevitably going to be mandated OFF America’s freeways and highways because of self-driving vehicles. 

Think about it. Behind Climate Doom and Zero policies, unless you’re on a self-driving motorcycle (which is appealing as a jail sentence) snaking through computer-controlled traffic, “In the name of Zero policies of public safety,” human error would be the last thing government agencies would allow. But shit changed abruptly last week. Trump will fight the ‘anti-human, demented climate agenda’ – This was ‘the most consequential election for the UN, in our recent history,” said Marc Morano of the Climate Depot website.

 What if the other guys won? Government mandated drones would be the new ‘”Enforcers” of this future and nobody would escape the scrutiny and punishment of the law. Remember Zero policies mean Zero freedoms and never-ending government agencies.

It’s happening right now in countries like China where two-wheeled vehicles are NOT allowed on any Chinese freeways. Oh, and by-the-way, China currently has more freeways than the USA. India has similar laws.

Obviously, in the future combustion engines would no longer be legal for two-wheeled vehicles, but that mandate changed last week. Again, this has happened in China, 80% of all two- wheeled vehicles are already electric.

So, what were the future riders going to look like and where would they ride electrically? They would likely be a bunch of pussies who ride from wheat grass kiosks to coffee shops while texting and reading the news on blue-tooth devices.

 Since they don’t need to pay attention to road conditions, they could watch colorful sporting events and the news simultaneously on their helmet screens while communicating with their Facebook friends. Unfortunately, the chilling statistics on diminishing testosterone in men and the financial stress of future generations will relegate most of these new riders to very short commutes on wimpy electric scooters.

The long, arduous commutes on the 405 freeway would have been eliminated and the long-distance drive-times to Vegas via self-driving vehicles significantly reduced. Scooting along PCH with thousands of tourists would be as adventurous as it gets. Unless the Climate Doomers shuttered PCH all together, anti-human.

Until a couple of weeks ago we would have been forced through so oppressive and restrictive rule, regulations and enforcement, “for our own good and to save the planet,” the outlaw spirit would have returned on a fierce and dangerous level.

Legions of renegade riders would run rampant, dodging the legal systems — the rise of the “Outlaw Biker” would emerge once again. Unfortunately, technology would have kicked their asses and the anti-human element would have made chopper-riding outlaws easy targets.

 Fortunately we have a shot at freedom right now, but we must be strong and keep the “Ride to Live” mentality alive. The outlaw spirit is likely to become far more pervasive in a restrictive society and will spawn an entire generation of “Mad Max” motorcyclists if we can’t keep our rights alive with state ABATE groups and the MRF. The “Born Free” millennial riders of today will soon become the angst-ridden senior citizens in this brave new world of relentless media marketing and social monitoring.

Advertising in the future will be called “personalizing” and brand messaging will be a digital torrent relentlessly selling an ever-changing, customized personal experience.  Re-trending fashion, foods and fun with minute-by-minute marketing attacks selling a daily deluge of “Buy, Die or Unsubscribe”.

The new renegade bikers will become the “Unsubscribed”. These aging millennials, sporting plaid shirts, graying beards and balding heads will be really pissed off at the barrage of social media marketing and mind control and these old as Hell Angels won’t take it anymore.

 They will ride …they will ride in legions and they won’t be held hostage by mandated restrictions or social pressure.

Drones will become the new “Enforcers” of the future, but the future generation of outlaw bikers will have within their ranks, super-hackers of the highest caliber. Equipped with high power electromagnetic scramblers, handheld lasers, and of course their own pocket-sized, attack drone killers.

Ultimately, the millions of renegade riders will demand sovereignty and hopefully the new administration will allow an amendment by “The Convention of the States” and grant South Dakota and other free states independence allowing Outlaw Bikers the legal freedom to live life on their own terms.

So, what does this all mean to us motorcyclists right now? We have the best of all worlds; most American roads are still wide open. Whether we ride the  winding Sturgis roads, mountains of Mojave Desert or the Pacific Coast, our highways and byways are relatively accessible. Ride more, ride longer and enjoy the road. Stay involved, join rights groups and keep the new administration true to their word. Never give up or give in.

Ride safe,

–Koz Mraz

This story reminds me of my 1990 book Sam “Chopper” Orwell. Grab a copy in the shop.

–Bandit

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Tater

Keep up the guns

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