APACHE JIL, TOMBSTONE, ARIZONA, TATTOO MASTER–Had to wait to get back to you, all my tattoo work was loaded into pddfiles. Had to wait for my buddy to show me how to convert them to jpg. Don’thave much because my scanner took a crap, but sending you what I do have loadedright now. Off to Reno next week for National’s convention. Get your buttover here, you’ve been away too long……Love ya, Jil

BIKERNET MEETS PAT TRAVERS–I READ IN THE PAPER THAT THE GREAT PAT TRAVERS WOULD BE PLAYING IN TOWN.WITH MY INFINITE WISDOM, I SEE VISIONS OF PHOTO OPPORTUNITY DANCING INMY HEAD. I CALL MY FRIEND, CRAIG LATRONICA (A BIG SHOT AT BIONICRECORDS) AND HE SETS THE WHOLE THING UP. SO, HERE IS A PICTURE OF ME AND PAT TRAVERS BACKSTAGE WITH ABIKERNET SHIRT I GAVE TO MR. TRAVERS, CAUSING HIM TO REPLY “HEY, NICESHIRT, MAN, THANKS.”

THE SHOW WAS GREAT. AS HE STATES TO THE CROWD UPON TAKING THE STAGE, “WE’RE HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS.” WELL, I CAN SAFELY CONFIRM HE DID JUSTTHAT. I LIKE FOLKS THAT KEEP THEIR WORD.

HE DOESN’T WEAR FUCKING LIPSTICK OR CHICK’S CLOTHING AND HE DOESN’T TAKEDRUGS. I SWEAR THE BASTARD HASN’T AGED IN 25 YEARS. PT DOES “NOBULLSHIT” ROCK ‘N’ ROLL. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND CATCHING HIS ACT. I’VE BEEN AFAN SINCE 1977.ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE SHOW, WE WERE ALMOST KILLED. CRAIG WAS DRIVING’CAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO DRINK THAT NIGHT. I, HOWEVER, HAD ENOUGH FORBOTH OF US. ANYWAY, WE HAVE PAT ON THE CD AND I’M JUST DAY-DREAMING TOMYSELF “HEY, THAT PT IS ONE COOL FUCKER, HE DIDN’T HAVE TO TAKE THATPICTURE, BUT HELL, I DIDN’T HAVE TO GIVE HIM THAT BIKERNET…” THEN ILOOK UP. WE’RE HEADING TOWARD A RED LIGHT AT 80 MPH! “CRAIG, RED LIGHT,MAN.” NO RESPONSE, HE’S ALSO DAY-DREAMING. “CRAIG! RED-FUCKING-LIGHT!”SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETCH!

–JON TOWLE

We’ll report on Jon’s condition, or lack thereof, in the near future.–Bandit

WHO’S THE PRESIDENT?–A few days after George W. Bush’s inauguration, a man came up to the Marineon duty at the White House and said, “I’d like to see President Clinton.”

The Marine politely answered, “Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president.”

The man said, “Oh, okay,” and walked away.

The next day the Marine was again on duty and the same man approached andagain asked to see President Clinton.

The Marine again answered, “Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president.”

Again the man answered, “Oh, okay,” and walked away.

The next day the same man approached the same Marine and again asked to seePresident Clinton. The Marine, a little annoyed by this time, said,

“Sir,I’ve told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don’t you understandthat?”

“Yes, I do,” said the man “But I just enjoy hearing it.”

ADJUSTABLE SWINGARMS–From: JMC Adjustable Aluminum Swingarms

GN Products of Chatsworth, Calif., has been appointed U.S. distributor of JMC Aluminum Swingarms for Harley-Davidson.

JMC Swingarms are custom made in England out of 7020 hi strength aircraft aluminum. It is the strongest weldable aluminum available.

The swingarms have unique eccentric axle adjusters that allow lowering or raising the ride height of the motorcycle by simply loosening two pinch bolts and rotating the axle.

The savings in un-sprung weight over stock range from 16 to 21 pounds, depending on the model of your bike. Because of this, the ride and road holding characteristics are dramatically improved. You will also gain the equivalent of about 2 horsepower in power to weight ratio.

The swingarms come show polished and are complete with races and bearings. They use stock axle spacers and install without any modification to the bike.

Available for Dyna, FXR, Sportster and ’99 and earlier Softail. Wide tire and lengthened applications are also available.

For more information contact GN Products at:
(818) 773-8509
(818) 625-2709
gnetkin@aol.com
www.hogpro.com

BIG DADDY REPORT–For those of you who knew, or were influenced by “Big Daddy” Ed Roth, aka Rat Fink, you might be interested to know his last editorial was commenting on my Bonneville book at: http://www.driveonline.com/future.html

I was stunned to hear of his untimely death, only a few days after the editor of Drive! sent me his manuscript. He obviously loved the salt, but like many people, never got out to the white dyno enough to suit his needs.

I share this to honor one of the most colorful characters that the high performance industry has had the pleasure to enjoy and thank him — posthumously — for kind words and everlasting, effervescent enthusiasm.

“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth

1928 SHOVELHEAD UPDATEThis puppy is coming right along. Handle bars are in place, tanks are in place, we’re just about ready to go to paint. Watch for an update on the site in the next week.

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90’s AND 2000–You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, butyou haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if itcontains echinacea.

You check your blow-dryer to see if it’s Y2K compliant.

Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send hera JPEGfile of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

WE’RE HISTORY–I’m outta here. It’s been a wild week dodging the media, burying myself in writing projects, preparing for Laughlin. The desk we built is now in John Buttera’s hands. The Blue Flame is at Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles in Canoga Park (818) 348-8967. That means the dicey Knucklehead built by Randy Simpson of Milwaukee Iron is back at the headquarters and Don Whalen returned the ’46 Indian, so there are motorcycles in every corner. Hell, had to take the bars off the Indian to get it in the bedroom. We’re in the market for a couple of shipping containers to expand the garage temporarily. Ya see, it’s my goal to have all the hard working fools at Bikernet on choppers, so we’re in the middle of building NuttBoy a pro street, and, with the assistance of Richard R., a reader, we have a rolling Sportster chassis to begin a chopped Sporty for the mad starving illustrator, Jon Towle.

Next week, we’re rolling into the desert. The babes, the Buell, NuttBoy, the attorney and the mechanic. Should be one helluva weekend, that is, if I finish the articles for the three magazines breathing down my neck. Let’s ride.–Bandit

Motorcycle Riders Foundation?s Annual Western Regional Meeting Will Be Broadcast Live Via Internet

MRF Washington, D.C. — Concerned about motorcyclists? rights and overall transportation safety on the American road?

Better fly, drive — or, preferably, ride — to Phoenix, AZ, on April 6 thru 8 where the leaders of the American motorcyclists? rights movement plan their strategy for current legislative initiatives and beyond.

This year, the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, the first voice for riders? rights in the nation?s capitol and the only Washington voice devoted exclusively to the street rider, will present the 2001 Best of the West at the Embassy Suites North at the southeast corner Greenway & I-17. Address as follows:

ABATE & MMA of Arizona invites you to meet the MRF Board of Directors Friday evening. The General Session Saturday morning starts at 8:30 and will finish with MRFVice-President Tom Wyld?s presentation, ?Is Your Ride For Freedom Or Is MyRide Finished.? The afternoon offers sessions on Leadership, Computer Workshop,Strategic Planning For Your SMRO, Triage and Act/Create Successes for Your Organization, Budgeting For Your SMRO, SMRO Activities, and How Can You Be Most Effective In Your SMRO. The evening will wind up with a cash bar/social hour, banquet, and both silent and live auctions.

Can?t make it? —- Logon!!!.

MRF has selected INB Radio to transmit the conference live, on the Internet. A leader in Internet streaming technology, INB Radio will transmit the conference live – and make the conference available on archive for 60 days. (Click on inbRadio now for more details.)

This conference will be simulcast live on the Internet via the INB radio network. INBRadio can be accessed at www.inbradio.com, or as a direct link from the MRF web site, mrf.org.

Best of the West will offer a wide range of training and information. There will be state legislative reports, plenty of news on the globalization of the motorcycle industry and itsaffect on the American marketplace, an update on the proposed Environmental Protection Agency?s proposed rules covering motorcycles, and much more.

If you need the most up to date information on motorcyclist?s rights and safety issues itwill be delivered to your home computer on Saturday April 7 by the MRF and INB radio.It?s the next best thing to being there. The broadcast will also be on the INB archive listfor the next 60 days. If you can?t hear it live you can still get the information later, or goback and listen again to get all the details.

The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that the National Safety Council isadvancing the name of a staunch anti-rider-rights advocate to head theNationalHighway Traffic Safety Administration.

This development requires a vigorous response from the American motorcyclists?rights movement.

California riders and motorcyclists generally have gone on alert atthe prospect of former Commissioner Maurice Hannigan being considered as thenext NHTSA Administrator. Pushed by the National Safety Council who hasopposed the freedom agenda of motorcyclists, former Commissioner Hanniganchampioned California?s mandatory helmet law. His opposition to motorcyclistsand their rights over the years has been staunch, vocal, and consistent.

Hannigan is best known for formulating a helmet law enforcement policy that Federal Courtshave ruled violates motorcyclists Constitutional rights. The Federal Court for the SouthernDistrict of California issued the first ever permanent injunction against the CHP in their history.The injunction was upheld by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.

Call to action:
First: Call the White House at 202-456-1414. Politely but firmly explainyouropposition to former Commissioner Hannigan and any official for NHTSA?s topjobthat is not respectful of motorcyclists, our rights and our freedom. If youcan?t get through on the phone, send an email to the following: The President
Second: Reach at least 3 other riders NOW and urge them to make the samecall.
Third: Call your U.S. Senators at 202-224-3121 and explain your opposition toany official for NHTSA?s top job that is not respectful of our rights. Also,you can find your senators? email addresses atU.S. Senate

The country’s long ride toward installing a new President looksto have come to an end. Bikers have finally won one. George W. Bush has been a long time friendto motorcyclists, and promises to change the way we’re dealt with by the Feds. I had the pleasureof meeting and talking to him during the campaign, and he proved that everything my friend, Sputnik,said about him was true. The first thing he said to me was that he wasn’t going to let anybody turnback the clock on Texas riders, and that their freedom was his most important consideration when hesigned the bill to remove the helmet law for adult riders.

For all of you who heeded the call and turned out to vote, great job! Don’t let up, keep involvedwith the system. Make it your duty to check up on all of your elected representatives, andkeep in contact with them. It’ll be good for you, and good for them. Like voting, your rights need exercise, justlike with muscles, the more you flex them the stronger they get!

In a move that many around the country think was eleven months too latein coming the Board of Trustees of the American Motorcyclist Association (AMA)announced that Robert Rasor has been named the Association’s newpresident, effective Nov. 1.

The announcement was made at a meeting of the AMA Board at theAssociation’s headquarters in Pickerington, Ohio.

Rasor has been a member of the AMA staff for nearly 28 years, startingin January 1973 as a legislative analyst. In the early ’80s, he becamedirector of the AMA’s Government Relations Department, a postsubsequently titled vice president for government relations.>We at Bikernet.com want to congratulate Rob and wish him great success.

“FREE AT LAST,FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD FLORIDA IS FREE AT LAST,” exclaimeda jubilant James “Doc” Riechenbach III, President and Lobbyist for ABATEof Florida, moments after receiving a personal phone call from GovernorJeb Bush at 3:50 p.m. (EST) today, June 16, to tell him that he’d signedtheir helmet law repeal bill!

Doc, who also serves as Chairman of theBoard of Directors for the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),said, “It’s been a long time coming, 31 years, and we’d just like to thankour ABATE members, NCOM and every state that helped us win our freedom!”

House Bill 1911 will repeal Florida’s helmetlaw for riders 21 and older who have a minimum of $10,000 in medical insurance,and will become effective July 1, 2000.

“The Bush brothers have now set two statesfree,” exclaimed Doc, referring to Jeb Bush’s brother and Presidentialhopeful, George W. Bush Jr., who as Texas Governor signed a similar billin 1997 to allow freedom of choice for responsible adult Texas motorcyclists. 

Something tells me that Daytona Bike Weekis gonna be one Helluva helmetless celebration! NATIONAL COALITION OF MOTORCYCLISTS(NCOM)

If you thought that states like Arizonaand New Mexico didn’t have a helmet law for adult riders, you were wrong…atleast until now. Although state laws in those Southwest states allow riders18 and older to ride without a helmet, a mandatory helmet requirement hasbeen in existence on all Navajo Nations land, even though it was seldomenforced by Tribal Police.

But the tribal council recently voted unanimously57-0, with no opposition, to repeal the helmet law on their Native Indianreservation lands, which is considered to be a separate and autonomousgovernment, and bring their law into compliance with other Southwesternstates comprising the Navajo Nation.

The helmet law repeal was signed by NavajoNation President Kelsay Begay on May 8, 2000. 

Those of us who’ve been fighting in thetrenches for bikers’ rights have known all along that the National HighwayTraffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has been fudging their statisticswhen lobbying against us on helmet laws. But now comes word from Ms. NHTSAherself, Saint Joan of Claybrook, who’s vision and leadership brought ussuch governmental boondoggles as the backwards-steering ”Safer-Cycle,”that NHTSA mislead the public regarding the safety of air bags.

According to a WASHINGTON TIMES editorial”Death By Safety Experts” forwarded to us by COWBOY over the Internet,former Carter-era NHTSA chieftain Joan Claybrook recently admitted thatNHTSA’s false or inaccurate claims over the years have ”hurt” the agency’sreputation and believability with the public, particularly with the ongoingfiasco over air bags. 

Among other things, the editorial chargesthat while serving as NHTSA administrator Claybrook claimed that mandatingcar manufacturers to install air bags ”was necessary because of then-chronicunderuse of safety belts. She said that air bags could actually supplantseat belts and would provide superior protection.”

It goes on that ”Miss Claybrook, likeher mentor Ralph Nader, also claimed that air bags were the safest wayto arrest the forward movement of an unbuckled child in a frontal impact.In fact, an Associated Press photo surfaced recently depicting Mr. Naderdemonstrating an air bag simulator with an unbuckled young girl.”

We now know that it is precisely the unbuckledoccupants, especially infants and young children, who are most likely tobe killed or maimed by a deploying air bag.

”Mr. Nader and Miss Claybrook have yetto be called to account for their dangerously misleading advocacy,” saysthe Times.

Claybrook and Nader also put forth theutterly unsubstantiated claim that air bags would save up to 9,000 livesannually, states the article, although ”No factual evidence was ever givenin support of this gratuitous assertion. It is looked upon with derisionby knowledgeable industry analysts.”

Claybrook’s recent, belated apology forthe flood of dangerous falsehoods about air bags she turned loose some20 years ago is not much comfort to the more than 150 people, many of themchildren, who’ve been killed and the thousands who’ve been injured by thesegovernment-mandated ”safety” devices.

”True, air bags have certainly saved lives,”admits the article, ”But there is no question that they have also killed.No other safety device required by federal law has such a mixed recordof success.”

The Times editorial concludes; ”How manypeople will have to die before the government concedes it made a mistakeby ignoring the engineers and listening instead to know-nothing busybodiessuch as Madam Claybrook is anybody’s guess.” 

Politically active Cal Bikers broke a moritoriumin the Senate Transportation Committee, and pushed though a veterans licenseplate for motorcyclists. 

Following months of frenzied lobbying byABATE of California and a biker veteran named ”Trash”, a motorcycle licenseplate to honor veterans has received an important nod from the Senate TransportationCommittee by a unanimous vote of 9-0. This vote reflects the strength ofthe motorcyclists’ lobby, as bikers faced an uphill battle in getting theirbill approved due to a self-imposed moratorium on approving any additionallicense plates in California. 

Although AB1515 had received unanimoussupport in all the committee votes in the Assembly, including a unanimousfloor vote to send the bill to the Senate for consideration, it was stonewalledin the Senate Transportation Committee until motorcyclists and other specialinterest groups wanting specialized plates were successful in convincingcommittee chairwoman Senator Betty Karnette to lift the ban and allow avote. 

In addition to creating a special plateto honor motorcycling veterans, AB1515 was further amended to allow motorcyclelicense plates to be issued for any existing car plate. 

At this point, it looks like smooth sailingfor the Veterans Motorcycle License Plate bill, which has yet to have asingle vote cast against it. ABATE OF CALIFORNIA 

Continued from Page 2

EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN’S ART SHOW– Hope to see you and your guests at the ECF Art Show and Reception on April 20, 6-9 p.m., at the Aaron Bros. location in West Hollywood (8383 Santa Monica Blvd. at Kings Road). They told us there is some road construction in the area but business as usual.

Best regards–Carmela Anne Burke
www.ECFArtcenter.com.

MASTER BUILDER TO BUILD ON BIKERNET– Cyril Huze will be building a bike from the ground up right here on Bikernet. “I will send segments every weekend, texts and pictures of what we did on the Softail frame during the week. I know you update on Thursday, so you will have time before uploading. I will e-mail the first chapter (concept) this weekend,” Cyril said from his Florida-based shop.

TRUE STORY– no shit. A buddy of mine goes to pick up his new bike at a Northwest dealer that shall remain nameless…. Here’s a transcript of the event….

–From Chuck

Well…….went up north for the hog today. Weather was looking a bit dicey, but decided to go anyway. I get up there, pay the money, sign zee papers (old man)……all fairly painless. Then a general run through on the bike………..

Sales rep: “This is a front tire, this is a rear tire. They are new and may be a bit slick. Take it easy on the brakes. Here is the maintenance schedule.”

Chuck: “Yeah, that’s cool, man…….gimme the keys.”

Sales rep: “These are the turn signal switches, one on each side.”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……gimme the keys.”

Sales rep: “This is the starting procedure, it takes about three minutes to warm up.”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……gimme the keys!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the security system works, press once to arm, press twice to disarm. This is how to enter your own security code.”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……Hey, man! Gimme the keys!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are locked……..”

Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah…..GIMME THE (censored) KEYS!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are unlo………?”

Chuck: “GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!”

Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are unlo…………………………..!”

Chuck: “!!!!!!!!!!!!?”

Sales rep: “Tell you what……how about we deliver it after we fix the front fork lock?”

CJ IS BACK IN ACTION–The outlaw engraver is back in Kentucky and in action. He’s working on a series of Bandit engraved engine covers that we should feature shortly. Check out his site.

DON’T FORGET TO MARK YOUR CALENDAR– with the schedule for my show, titled “Michael Lichter’s Biker Generation; Twenty Years of Motorcycling Photography.”

June 2001 in Laconia, N.H., at the Belknap Mill Society Gallery.

August 2001 in Rapid City, S.D., at the Journey Museum (There will also be custom bikes in the show by Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Jesse James, Ron Simms, Paul Yaffe, Eddie Trotta, Russ Tom, Donnie Smith, Billy Lane and Mitch Bergeron).

November 2001 in Littleton, Colo., at the Koebel Library Gallery.

February – October 2002 in Pickerington, Ohio, at the American Motorcycle Association (AMA) Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum.

Call me at (303) 449-3906 for more specific details and the date/time for the opening receptions. You can also look on the Web look for info at www.lichterphoto.com

FRESH FROM HER SHOWER– a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.

“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies. The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”

“It worked for your ass, didn’t it?”He lived. And, with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again…..

–Bill V.

IRON HORSE TRIKES RACES TO STURGIS 2001–That’s right, we have a contender for the run to Sturgis. Don Center of Iron Horse Trikes will be leaving Roswell, N.M., with a 560-horsepower blown Chevy and two 30-gallon saddle gas tanks. He’ll make the 1,000-mile trek in just over 10 hours. Check the feature on Don’s bike in the Bike Barn.

The bastard actually thinks he can beat my beefed-up Buell with a flamed paint job and cams.

A YOUNG GUY– from Texas moves to California and goes to a big departmentstore looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any salesexperience?”

The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.”

Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. “You starttomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the storewas locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”

The kid says, “One.”

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.How much was the sale for?”

Kid says, “$101,237.64.”

Boss says, “$101,237.64? What did you sell him?”

Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a mediumfish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishingrod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at thecoast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boatdepartment, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said hedidn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to theautomotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”

The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him aboat and truck?”

Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, andI said, ‘Well, since your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.'”

–Bruce, Booze Fighters M/C

1928 SHOVELHEAD PROJECT–Report from Jim Stultz of Dallas Easyriders indicates that there’s progress in the service department. The Compufire ignition and charging system is partially hidden in a tunnel under the gas/oil tanks. The bars from Milwaukee Iron are complete and the sheet metal is ready for paint. Watch for a new report in the next week or so.

On to Page 4

Continued from Page 1

CHARLOTTE H-D OPEN HOUSE– Here are some of my favorite bikes that were at our open house April 7. This is a ’95 S2 Buell done up the North Carolina way. It’s a 96-inch S&S engine with turbo and nitrous! The owner also had the rims polished for a cool look. The other Buell is a 1988 RR1200 Battletwin. Only 65 of these were made. This version usesthe 1203 Evo Sportster engine. This replaced the XR-1000 engine used in the RR1000 through 1988, of which only 50 were made. Both of RR1000 and RR1200 are some of mostsought after Buells by collectors.

And the Indian ain’t bad!

–Charlotte H-D

–Helen Wolfe
Photos@HelenWolfe.com

ANOTHER BRAND OF FUN– A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.

“Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest.

“How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.

“No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”

–FP

TIM CONDER IS ALIVE–Hey man, I took a little four-day detour from Top Fuel and built thisthing.

*1,400 razor blades welded edge up.
*2 three-pound boxes of nails. (seat and floorboards)
*10 feet of barbed wire.
*Tank shift with a REAL MONKEY SKULL!
*Suicide clutch.
*No front brake.
*Angle iron rigid struts.

Yeah, it’s a sharp bike man. Know anybody up here who can shoot it?These are digital photos that a sign painter friend of mine took. Thingsare going good. I had to drop out and be productive on my rails…I willbe contacting you soon about links and stuff. Haven’t done a thing on myKnuckle. Still just one guy.

–Tim Conder

HERE’S THE OFFICIAL CHINESE APOLOGY–(AP)Washington, D.C.The United States of America apologizes to the People’s Republic of Chinaforallowing our slow, lumbering reconnaissance plane to be hit by your poorlytrained, hot-dogging fighter pilot while flying in international airspace.

We’re sorry we have to fly surveillance missions to monitor a country thathasnuclear missiles pointed at us.We’re sorry your pilot didn’t follow international standards of fighterintercept protocol.We’re sorry his aircraft recognition skills were so poor he didn’t realizetheEP-3 aircraft was propeller driven and flew his aircraft through itspropellerarc, destroying his aircraft and nearly killing 24 American crewmen.

We’re sorry your fighter pilot’s survival training and equipment was soinadequate that he couldn’t survive until your poorly trained and equippednavycould find him. (They turned down our offer for search and rescueassistance.)

We’re sorry you violated international law and arrested the crewmen of anaircraft that legally diverted into your airfield under emergency conditionscaused by your pilot’s actions, after being led there by one of your otherpilots.

We’re sorry you violated international law and boarded a state aircraft.We’re sorry the world is now seeing you for the enemy of freedom, truth anddemocracy that you really are.

We’re sorry you see yourself as a superpower when in reality you are a thirdworld nation. (The average Chinese worker earns less than $.10 a day.)

We’re sorry you are losing so much face over this.We’re sorry that you were able to steal some missile and nuclear secretsfromus.

We’re sorry you haven’t learned from the Soviet Union’s collapse and failedtoembrace democracy and capitalism (compare tiny Taiwan and mainland China;samepeople, same culture, but Taiwan’s capitalistic economy is a powerhouse andChina’s economy is still mired in communism).

We’re sorry for the future Chinese military deaths that will occur when weretaliate for your roughish behavior.And most of all, we’re sorry for the Chinese people who suffer its leaders’incompetence.

–Rogue

P.S. If a speed boat goes out to inspect a cruise ship and they collide,who doyou think is at fault?

BIG TIME, FIRST TIME, ANNUAL EVENT!– Last year (2000) was the first year that Nebraska had a burn camp. This camp is to send burn victims (children) to a summer camp and all the logistical support necessary. St. Elizabeth Hospital in Lincoln, Neb., is our state’s burn center and the direct sponsor for the Nebraska Burn Camp. The camp was held in Burwell, Neb., last August. Sixchildren attended, ranging in age from 8 to 15 years.

The Wind and Fire Motorcycle Club (LINOMA) chapter is going to put on a poker run to raise money for the burn camp. The date for this event is July 7. Sign-ups are 9 a.m. to noon with escort. We are starting at two locations at the same time–the Lincoln and Omaha firefighter halls. The last stop will be at Linoma Beach. Cost is $8.50, including an all-you-can-eat buffet of ribs and chicken. Cash prizes and raffles will be drawn here. All bikes and bikers welcomed.

What is the Wind and Fire MC? My name is MC Flott and I am with the Omaha Fire Department and a Local 385 member. We are firefighters who own and ride Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Anyone who owns a Harley and is a firefighter may join.

The W&F MC Burn Camp Poker Run has been approved by the national W&F organization and St. Elizabeth?s hospital in Lincoln, Neb. Contact- mcflott@home.com.

–MC Flott

On to Page 3

That’s right, deep in the dusty confines of the basement, next to the shackles and the torture rack, we discovered a shining relic. You’ll have to get a membership to the Cantina and check it out. Man, I hate to do that to you guys, but we’re trying to make enough bucks to keep the women happy, the cupboard full of Jack and parts in the garage. Speaking of parts, the Blue Flame is at Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles in Canoga Park, (818) 348-8967, if you want to have a look. It’s for sale. I hate to let it go, but it’s fresh, clean, a fighting machine. What a nice ride for a rigid.

Here’s the new Bikernet ad to be run in HORSE magazine. I don’t know what got into them when they changed the name. Distributors and retailers must go crazy when it shows up at the shop down from the stables. Why didn’t they call it IRON? I’ll never know, but it’s growing. They’re fighting back, and word on the street is that they are the new breed Easyriders. We’ll see. Let’s get to the news.

LONG LOST BRO–No, she’s not the bro, but the bro’s babe, friend, relative, hell, I don’t know. I used to ride with some guys in Long Beach in the early ’70s and we just found each other again. I wouldn’t want to ruin your day with a shot of his ugly mug, so I ran this shot of this babe sitting on his new Softail, which we will feature shortly.–Thanks, Bob.

SUM BITCH– crossed the yellow line on a highway near Anza, Calif. Our brother, (Hydro) Mike, was left with a broken back and they said he would never walk again. Good thing he mentioned that he had feeling in his thighs. They fused his back and today he is walking with two crutches and sometimes uses a wheelchair.

My brothers and I got together and built him a trike with an 88-inch RevTech motor and 5-speed transmission, ultima Softail frame and a 1947 servi car rear frame and differential. The servi car diff and frame are welded to the softail swing arm so that when Hydro is ready for two wheels we just unbolt and bolt another up and off he goes. It’s been up for a month and we will tear it down again as any good chopper should be and have it painted and touched up. But the best thing is Hydro’s ass is back in the wind with us.

J-BIRD GFM/C So. Cal

–Gayle Mcguire

TILL DEATH DO US PART…TA husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant whenthisabsolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives thehusbanda big open-mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?””Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.””Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I wanta divorce!”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we getadivorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more winteringinBarbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in thegarage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babeon hisarm.

“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

BIKERNET TESTIMONIAL FROM FAMOUS BIKE BUILDER–When I built my Web site and Web store in ’97, I already knew that a site withouttraffic is like a store without an address. So I tried different marketing andadvertising strategies to “build” digital highways leading to my two sites.

Everyday I check my Web site traffic through the services of a specializedcompany called Webtrends. Not only did Bikernet.com always rank very high inthe list of URLs providing my site with traffic, but I also observed thatthese visitors come back on a regular basis. And regular visitors makerepeat buyers of my accessories.

The reason is probably that Bikernet.com isthe only full weekly digital magazine written by bikers for bikers with realnews, useful tech tips, classifieds and even a bike show. Bikernet.com is, forme, like a giant billboard on Sunset Boulevard inviting bikers to make adetour to my shop. And a lot of them are visiting…and buying.

–Cyril Huze
Custom Builder

Thanks brother, we needed that!–Bandit

On to Page 2

Continued from Page 1

NEW CARBURETOR–Atomized Fuel Technologies, Inc. has developed and is currently manufacturing carburetors for V-Twin, off-road motorcycles, and snowmobiles. These carburetors have been proven to increase horsepower, torque, and fuel economy, while decreasing harmful CO and Hydrocarbon emmissions. Check out this new billet unit at AFT Carbs.com.

A YOUNG FAMILY– moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew – gems in the rough all of them – more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I’ve been working with a crew building a house all week.”

“My goodness gracious”, said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week too?” “I will if those useless cocksuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the fucking bricks,” replied the little girl.

THE HORSE REPORTS–Seen in Daytakeya-how do you spell O V E R D R E S S E D?

–GENO

BIKE-RELATED FATALITIES DROP AFTER MANDATORY HELMET LAW REPEALED– Motorcycleriders who fought so hard to get Florida’s mandatory helmet law repealed areseeing the numbers from Daytona’s Bike Week as real vindication.

This year, all eyes turned in the direction of the state’s premier bikerevent togauge the impact of repealing the state’s helmet requirement last July 1.Despite fears that more motorcyclists would die, deaths actually droppedsharply.

A record 15 bike-related fatalities happened in Central Florida during BikeWeek 2000. But during Bike Week 2001, accidents claimed the lives of sixpeople in Volusia County, a reduction that bikers claim proves their point.They say that it’s safer to ride motorcycles without helmets that impedevision and muffle hearing.

Statewide, bike-related fatalities fell from 110 during the first six monthsoflast year to 86 during the last six months, the period when helmets were nolonger mandatory.

–From The Associated Press

DRAGONFLY SHIRTS A HIT– These puppies are cool, quality and priced right, and if you like the ones we have, we’ll have a new line by summer. Besides, we’re not charging postage and handling until the market returns and all is well in the financial world again. Samantha doesn’t hurt either.

A KINDERGARTEN CLASS– had a homework assignment to find out about somethingexciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came topresent what they’d found, the first little boy called upon walked up to thefront of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on theblack board, then he sat back down.Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

?It?s a period,” said thelittle boy.

“Well, I can see that,” she said, “but what’s so exciting abouta little ol’ period?”

“Damned if I know,” said the little boy, “but thismorning my 15 year-old sister was missing one, …so Daddy had a heartattack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself. So there must besomething exciting about it.”

–Ray Russell

INTRODUCING THE FAST DATES, EBSCO, CORONA SUZUKI TEAM–top contenders in the AMA Nationals for 2001

We had hoped to be able to make this announcement months earlier, butcontract negotiations with one of our major sponsors had been dragging out.The former AMA National Championship winning EBSCO Suzuki raceteam owned by Landers Sevier, which dominated the Formula Extreme andSupersport Classes in the mid ’90s before Landers retired the team, is nowback with a vengence. The new team will again campaign American Suzukisupplied bikes, now in the 750 and 600 Supersport Classes, prepared again byCarry Andrews, their former National Championship winning crew chief. Theteam’s primary sponsors are Corona International, sponsors of the Suzukifactory team in World Superbike, and EBSCO Media, a major printing companyin Montgomery,Ala., where Landers Sevier serves as VP of Sales.

The world’s most popular motorcycle calendars and Web site, FastDates.com,will be a principal associate sponsor of the team with our name appearingon the team racebikes and in associated media, while EBSCO Corona Suzukicomes on board with us as a co-sponsor with SportBikes.com of the upcoming2002 Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar. The team’s riders are Jimmy Mooreand Vincent Haskovec, with Moore having placed an incredible eighth place andfirst non-factory rider in the Daytona 200 Superbike race on his near stockSuzuki GSXR750 Supersport bike. Look for great things from the team thisseason.

Further details are available online in Pit lane News on the FastDates.comWeb site.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA, IF–The guy in line at Starbucks who is wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses andlooks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay,and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report onevery news channel about “THE STORM!”

THAT’S IT–The morning began calm enough, like a shotgun with one in the chamber and the hammer cocked but the finger inches from the trigger and tapping to the sound of the Temptation’s “It Was Just My Imagination.” I had sent my books to a guy who wanted to make biker movies and I was waiting by the phone for word of big checks and my plots on the silver screen. I was also waiting for the call from the glass cutter. Could they get it right this time? Could we pack it home without breaking it?

Would Sin show up for her nooner all bubbly and full of lesbian stories of her and Coral? Would Layla come bounding up the stairs, pleased with the money she had received from the production crew that would keep her family out of debt, only to find me with Sin and kill us both in a mad rage?Some questions are too awful to ponder. Maybe it’s time to cut and run–Let’s ride. –Bandit

VANCIL ROLLS TO RUNNER-UP AT THE ROCK–Doug Vancil of Albuquerque, N.M., nitro Harley drag racer, rolled to runner-upafter qualifying No. 1 in the Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley-Davidson division atthe 31st annual Holley Spring Nationals presented by Advance Auto Parts atRockingham Dragway in Rockingham, N.C.

Vancil smoked the field in qualifying, running consistently in the 6.5’s atover 200 mph.?The quickest field of 12 of the premier Top FuelHarley Racers Association members eligible to compete had a bump spot of6.673 ET at 194.38 mph., making this the quickest Nitro Harley field ever forIHRA.

In round one, Vancil took out Bill Furr of Orangeburg, S.C., at the tree in agreat side-by-side pass.?Vancil took a win on the Vance & Hines ’00 Harleywith a 0.472 RT at 6.610 ET 206.86 mph over Furr’s RT of 0.502 with 6.673 ETat 205.29 mph.

Between the first and second round, a severe weather front moved in. Vancil’s teamwas joined by a crowd of 10, including spectators and car nitro crew menholding down the awning to the Vance & Hines/Drag Specialties rig. Highwinds were accompanied by hail and radically dropping temperatures. ??

The semi-final round against Tony Mattioli of Middlegrove, N.Y., ?brought a winlight to Vancil’s column. Vancil’s 0.522 RT, 6.648 ET at 202.88 mph wasenough over Mattioli’s slowest time of the weekend 0.572?RT ?at 7.307 ET at151.78 mph to advance to the finals.

In the final round, Vancil and Houston Harley dealer Johnny Mancuso hadengine problems from the green light.?Mancuso rolled through the lightsfirst with an unceremonious 0.471 RT 8.797 ET at 115.13 mph. Vancil’sreaction time was 0.458 with a 10.282 ET at a coasting 73?mph.

Vancil now prepares the Vance & Hines/Drag Specialties Nitro Harley for IHRAat Richmond, Va., in mid-April. The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, DragSpecialties, Performance Machine, K & N, PJ 1, B & J Transmission, & Axtell.

CANTINA UPDATE–We’re breaking new records every day in Cantina subscriptions! We’ve added threearticles to the new Digital’s Discovery area, including a bike that runs onsoy bean oil, a biography on Bikernet’s own Helen Wolfe and a knife handcraftedby Von Dutch himself. We’ve also got a new article in the works by Scooter abouta fully restored German WWII helmet. “Bandit’sCantina,” the series, is in its fourth episode this week. The Bars andHangouts listing for the U.S. and Canada has broken the 200 mark and is getting biggerall the time. The Sunday Post, the Whore-O-Scope, the Shop ListingDatabase and the rest of the Cantina departments are growing daily. If youhaven’t signed up, you’re missing out. Be sure to watch ‘Your Shot’ for testimonials fromcurrent subscribers. And for those of you who are subscribers -write some reviews for us, will ya? The price for a Cantina subscription isonly $20 for the whole fuckin’ year! It promises to be all the biker entertainment you can handle!

AMERICAN QUANTUM EMPLOYEES SCREWED AGAIN– I attended American Quantum’s federal bankruptcy hearing in Orlando, Fla., on April 3 to object to the sale of motorcycles and other assets to Enzo Aquino of Performance Cycle in Webster, N.Y., also doing business as Aquino’s Auto Service.

Aqunio had contracted to buy the items from Quantum’s inventory for $251,000, which was well below their value. Employees did not object to the sale because the court told them they were the next priority after court expenses. That amount after expenses was $141,000.

Aquino and previous vice presidents of American Quantum, along with the trustee, made the deal. Along comes Joe Hale of International Holdings Inc. and objects to the deal unless he gets money that he believes is owed him and is going to hold up the sale and force Aquino and company to miss Bike Week with their new score.

Somehow things get turned around and the employees are no longer first priority. Aquino gets the bikes for pennies on the dollar, the trustee gets $60,000, Mike McCusker gets $10,000, Joe Hale the $141,000 that was supposed to be for the employees, plus other inventory, leaving nothing at the Quantum address but bare walls and piles of garbage.

As soon as I heard what had happened, I and others filed petitions with the court to stop the deal. Even though the paperwork was received and I received a phone call from the trustee saying he wanted to talk to me about my petition, nothing happened to stop items from being removed while the objections were heard by the court. The trustee and others involved with him were at Quantum the day following his phone call to me, having conversations with Aquino and Quantum X vice presidents who were involved in the sale.

The building was eventually stripped to the walls and everything of value removed prior to the court hearing. Very convenient. And of course the trustee’s lawyer did his soft shoe shuffle for the judge, saying they thought they had the right to do what they did or some such mumbo jumbo.

The bottom line is that the judge at this point did not have much choice but to grant their compromise. I was allowed to speak to the court and informed him that though he had ordered Mr. Mills, the trustee, to send federal bankruptcy Form B10 to all employees so they could file for their lost wages, he had not yet done so. I reminded the judge that at a previous time in his court, he had said that the employees were a priority. It appears that he remembered that as he told the trustee and the attorney again that the employees were in fact the priority. You should have seen the song and dance show Mills and his attorney were having in the hall outside the courtroom trying to answer the questions of the employees. Well, we shall wait and see. Wait for the next episode of Peyton Melbourne and the ongoing Quantum fiasco. Hang tough and ride safe

–ROGUE

THE PERFECT BREAKFAST!–You’re sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of the box ofWheaties, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy and your wife is on theback of the milk carton!

–Alison

MARCH BIKERNET SHOW WINNERS–Here they are in all their glory. They will be receiving prizes from Samson, Harley-Davidson, Bikernet and Crime Inc. Congratulations guys!

In the Competition category
Bald-Butt Racing
Carver, Ore.

In the Pro-Street category
Lonnie Essex
Lake Ridge, Va.

In the Radical Custom category
Brian Curlin
Rising Sun, Ind.

In the Ridden category
Don Lawrence
Belle Plaine, Kan.

In the Sportster category
Allan Eby
Austin, Texas

In the Street Custom-Stock category
MC
Omaha, Neb.

In the Vintage category
Ted Babolcsay
Elizaville, N.Y.

In the Vintage Chopper category
Greg Hall
Richmond, Va.

RIDE WITH THE LEADERS — TO THE NATION?S CAPITOL – WEEK NO. 5:??MOTORCYCLE RIDERS FROM ILLINOIS TAKE PRO-SAFETY,PRO-FREEDOM AGENDA TO CONGRESS ? AND THE WHITE HOUSE– In partnership with the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, ABATE of Illinois sent a second contingent to Washington to advance rider rights and safety, and, in the process, made history.

After spending all week briefing the entire Illinois Congressional delegation, ABATE of Illinois was treated by MRF to what may be a first in the history of the motorcyclists? rights movement: a personal meeting with the national policy staff of the Office of the President of the United States in the Old Executive Office Building.

With the White House staff as with Members of Congress, ABATE of Illinois and MRF explained EPA?s call for restrictive regulations on street motorcycles and the threat these regulations pose to individual riders and thousands of workers employed by small businesses in our community. The joint MRF-SMRO team also emphasized the importance of making motorcycle safety a national priority and the need to reverse discrimination in regulations on the Health Care Portability and Accountability Act.

?While countering EPA restrictions remains our top priority, the need for new leadership at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) emerged throughout the week as an issue of utmost importance to motorcyclists nationwide,? observed Tom Wyld, MRF vice president for government relations. ?TEA-21 transformed NHTSA?s primary mission from injury reduction to accident prevention, but the agency has not caught on. It continues to embrace injury reduction, including the lobbying of state legislatures to adopt mandatory helmet laws a practice forbidden by TEA-21. Our safety agenda — from a national Motorist Awareness of Motorcycles program to a resource injection to help state-run rider training programs will save lives by preventing accidents. But our safety agenda can succeed only with new leadership at NHTSA committed to making accident prevention the agency?s first and foremost priority.?

The Illinois visit brought the total to 16 U.S. senators and 64 U.S. representatives who have heard the pro-safety, pro-freedom message voiced by the most effective lobbyists in Washington: citizens from back home, constituents who take time from work and family to express their views, in person, to their elected representatives in Congress. Making the difference for motorcyclists? rights and safety last week were Mary Burgett, Sheila Gallagher, Mike May, Linda Pasetti, Ernest Steele, Greg Wagner and Gary Wayman. Leading the Illinois contingent was Cheryl Pearre. ABATE of Illinois visited senators Richard Durbin and Peter Fitzgerald and U.S. representatives Bobby Rush; Jesse Jackson, Jr.; William Lipinski, Luis Gutierrez, Rod Blagojevich, Henry Hyde, Danny Davis, Philip Crane; Janice Schakowsky; Mark Kirk; Jerry Weller; Jerry Costello; Judy Biggert; House Speaker Dennis Hastert, Tim Johnson, Don Manzullo; Lane Evans; Ray LaHood; David Phelps; and John Shimkus.

Thus far, riders from Alaska, Michigan, South Dakota, Oregon, Washington, Wisconsin, North Carolina and Illinois have traveled to the nation?s capitol to advance freedom, with Wisconsin and Illinois sending two contingents. Several New England states, plus Maryland and Indiana, are planning trips in the near future. Says MRF?s Tom Wyld: ?Join them. When the ordinary citizen comes to Washington, extraordinary things happen. You make Washington pay attention, you build new relationships, you change minds, you shape public policy, you make progress.

?Because we face powerful threats to our rights and safety, SMROs should take the most powerful action they can to counter them: a trip to Washington. Ride with the leaders. Plan your joint MRF-SMRO visit today. Call (202) 546-0983.?

BIKE SHOPPE SWITCHES TO ER–I don’t know if you knew it, but KC Creations has joined forces withEasyriders. We are now Easyriders of Kansas City, home of K.C. Creations.?The grand opening is the the weekend of May 11-12, which isFriday and Saturday. We chose Friday and Saturday because Sunday is Mother’s Day. Wewould like to invite the Hamsters. If anyone would like to come, we wouldlove to have you join us. Give Cheryl or Kim Suter a call and they can helpwith accommodations and such.?

–Patty

MASS HELMET LAW TACTICS– Guerrilla tactics are a very effective method for beating your enemyintosubmission. While special operations can take many forms, mis-directionand mis-information are two powerful weapons that can be used to frustrate,confuse and demoralize the opposing side. Special warfare is unconventionaland employs psychological devices to undermine the enemy’s will to resist.It also employs the frequent use of punitive actions in retaliation forsomething done by the enemy. The key to being successful with theimplementation of punitive actions is to develop a plan that accomplishesseveral objectives while utilizing minimal resources.

In the case of House Bill 1263 in Massachusetts, proper implementation ofthe plan will do the following:

1. Discredit the leadership of the pro-motorcycle helmet forces if they donot support the bill.

2. Win the hearts and minds of the citizens who have heretofore eithersupported mandatory motorcycle helmets or remained neutral on the subjectbecause it had no effect on them.

3. Place pro-motorcycle helmet law legislators in a position where theymust support the bill to be consistent, risking the ire of theirconstituents, orchange their position on motorcycle helmets to avoid inconsistency in theirarguments for them.

For the plan to be effective, the public must be made aware of the bill andlegislators must be forced to take a public position for which they can besubsequently held accountable.

The following is a request from MA bikers:We need people to e-mail the Safety Committee to force a response on this.Addresses can be found at www.state.ma.us/legis/comm/j22.htm. Wehave to put the pressure on them and give them an out for the public. Webelieve that a lot of them are on the fence because of public scrutiny onrepeal. By actually giving them this bill in writing, they can go to thepressand say that they had to repeal the mandatory motorcycle helmet law oreveryone would have to wear one.

The folks who submitted the bill believe the possibility of facing suitsforprofiling and discrimination against motorcyclists will have an impact onthedecision-making process. This certainly places legislators in a difficultposition. We urge your participation in writing to the members of thecommittee to applaud the forward thinking and positive safety ramificationsthe bill represents. With so many people being killed or injured in vehiclecrashes, mandatory helmet use will certainly “save more than one life” andhave a significant effect on the burden caused by uninsured and under-insured vehicle operators. This law is one more weapon in the battle toreduce the medical consequences of crashes that seat belts and air bagshave been unable to prevent.

HAWG RYDERS SAVE BIKERNET WRITER–Hey Bandit…I promised a friend that I’d pass on his forum info…this is where I’ve been hanging out all winter and it was this bunch of hairy apes that kept me sane through what has proven to be one of the longest, weirdest winters of my life. The site is Hawg Ryders All Harley Tech Forum. It’s in the top ten of Biker Huts Top 100 Sites. I think you can get there through www.delphi.com/hawgryderAnd since these guys are some of my biggest fans 😉 he’s got Bikernet listed under his links… So if you want to cruise through sometime when you have a free moment (Ha ha…like THAT’S gonna happen anytime soon) I know he’d love to have you…

–Deasal

I AM THANKFUL . . . FOR THE HUSBAND WHO COMPLAINS WHEN HIS DINNER IS NOT ON TIME, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME, NOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES, BECAUSE THAT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME AND NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES THAT I PAY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

–Joli

BOOK SIGNING–Dave Hough has written a safe riding column for a magazine calledMotorcycle Consumer News (888-333-0354) for 20 or 25 years now. Dave hasfinally compiled all these years of data and created a book called”Proficient Motorcycling.” You can bring your own copy of one or all ofhis books for signing or you can buy his new work for $25 and hewill autograph it for you.

The Skagit HOG meeting will be at the Royal Fork in Mt. Vernon on the first Sundayof the month at 9 a.m.. That means that May 6 is their meeting andwill leave after the meeting at approxiamtely 11 a.m. We could meet themthere or at another location on 20 west of Burlington. The Royal Forkis easy to find. Take the College Avenue exit off of I-5, go west to T, turnnorth and it’s about two blocks up on the right. They have breakfastduring their meeting.

We will meet Dave (ETA 2:30 p.m.) at Old Ft. Worden, which is in Pt. Townsend,Wash. It is a pre-WWI fort that is now a state park. They filmed”Officer and a Gentleman” there.I will check on the ferry schedule for Keystone to Pt.Townsend. I am informed by Patrick that you will need $5 for theferry.The Vancouver and Delta HOG Chapters will meet at the first rest areabelow the border on I-5 at 9 a.m. All are welcome.Being a BMW freak, Dave Hough has requested we invite BC Beemers along.We have done more than that, we have invited all of BCCOM. All arewelcome.

RAY EPPERHART’S BUELL–This is Ray Epperhart from SW Cycles, SS 27, Las Vegas 10-98. Thought you’d like another Buell shot. It’s a neat one. I like the colors and the way the smoke sticks to the tire. I stayed home from work today and got some pictures printed. I’m still on a learning curve with my printer, but I discovered a lot about it today. I’ve got a book of 8-by-10 ink jet printouts of some of my better pictures to take with me to the races.

–Helen Wolfe

On to Page 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–QUESTION OF THE CENTURY–TWO WOMEN OR ATTEND BEVERLY HILLS BIKE SHOW? (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 2

JIMS AND BANDIT WORKING ON BANDIT LINE–With the assistance of C.J. Allan, the engraver, we’re working on a line of completely unique Evolution motor covers. We may have something to look at next week.

A WOMAN–was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always camehome late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

“Take my advice,” said the neighbor, “and do what I did.Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from mybed, I called out, ‘Is that you, Jim?’ And that cured him.”

“Cured him!” asked the woman, “but how?”

The neighbor said, “You see, his name is Bill.”

–BillV

WANGO TANGO–Here’s a shot of my scoot “Wango Tango” for your site, if it passesinspection. It’s a 93-inch stroked Shovel. All critical parts cryo treatedand dry filmed. S&S cases, Super “g”, dual plugged heads that wereextensively reworked by Blower, Velvatouch lifters, S&S 514 cam, Dyna “s”single fire with ugly but good Compufire 4 plug single unit coil.

Stock H-D mags with GMA calipers and rotors front and rear. Maxxus V-ratedtires and it needs them!1978 4-speed tranny rebuilt by Blower with Hayden M-6 [love that damnedthing] and Barnett clutch. Pipes are different now and it’s being changedcurrently including new fenders and paint. I’ll send it along soon!

STATS AND STATS–Number of physicians in the U.S. = 700,000

Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year = 120,000
Accidentaldeathsper physician = 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services)
Number of gun owners in the U.S. = 80,000,000
Number of accidental gundeaths per year (all age groups) = 1,500
Accidental deaths per gun owner = 0.0000188 (U.S. Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco and Firearms)
Therefore, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gunowners.I think we can apply this to helmets also.

–Loren

VICTORY MOTORCYCLES’ MARC HOFFMAN ZONED– Mark Blackwell, general manager of the VictoryMotorcycles division of Polaris Industries, announced that Marc Hoffman hasbeen appointed to the position of zone sales manager for the sales territorythat encompasses 10 north-central states.Hoffman serves as a business partner to Victory dealers in his territory,ensuring that they utilize all Victory sales and marketing programs to fulladvantage and helping them establish and attain their sales goals.”Marc understands the challenges dealers face every day and will be anexcellent resource for them,” said Blackwell. “He began his career workingat the retail level and understands all aspects of sales and dealershipoperations. I believe Marc has the knowledge, drive, and interpersonalskills needed to work with our Victory dealers and help ensure their successin the coming years.”

MURPH WILL APPRECIATE THIS ONE–A couple are attending an art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.

As the couple looks somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, “Can I help you with this painting? I?m the artist who painted it.”

The man says “Well, we like the painting but don?t understand why you have three African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have black penises.”

The artist says, “Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They?re not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch.”

THOUGHTS TO PONDER–I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for thegreat ordeal of meeting me is another matter. –Winston Churchill

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says,”What is this, some kind of joke?”

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Adam to Eve: I’ll wear the plants in this family!

–Jolihttp://www.bikernet.com/bandit/images/banditandco.gif

PROMOTION IS THE KEY– That’s why as a birthday present Oz had the Bikernet logo plastered on the home page of the Malibu Times. So next week we’ll launch our newest department: Bandit Goes Surfing, or Bandit Meets Annette.

WHERE WAS I? Oh, yeah. Three women for a day. My fingertips were all a twitter. But what about the bike show, the bros? The chances of selling the Blue Flame would be high amongst those who have cash to burn. I couldn’t decide, so I shifted my libido into nuetral, an emotional holding pattern over fresh sheets and waited. You know women. Their minds could change at the drop of a hairpin. I wasn’t going to hold my breath.

I polished the Blue Flame, but bowed out on shipping the racer to the show. Saturday night slipped by in a fog and Sunday arrived with the phone ringing. “We’re meeting at the coffee shop…”

“I’ll ride out a little later,” I returned.

The phone kept ringing and I kept bobbing and weaving. Just about the time I found my gloves there was a tentative tap on the front door. I knew it was Sin. I bolted down the hallway and there they all stood, the sun glistening in their hair and pretty pert smiles tripping across their faces. Each one wore an outfit that said undress me, quick. So I unplugged the phone and let them in.

Still had enough energy to hit Bike Night on Signal Hill on Tuesday.

–Let’s ride, Bandit