Everyone is aware of female motorcycle riders in the Western nations, who can straddle a heavy Harley-Davidson or Triumph or safely manage breakdowns on restored vintage models. There are famous female motorsports professionals including record holders such as Valerie Thompson or 2022 WXC National Champion Rachael Archer from AmPro Yamaha Team.


I was thinking of upcoming weekend’s motorcycle trip and the women who are riding regularly and are on Royal Enfields. These are the heaviest bike you will find on most Asian roads for men and women. Only the financially wealthy or celebrity seem to have V-Twins or SBKs. Consideration is also the expense of maintenance of such big bikes and large amount of fuel it consumes.

 
While it may be common for women in North America or Europe to be seen riding a heavy bagger or land speed record prototype, women elsewhere have to deal with bad roads, congested traffic, roadside vendors and no available parking.

Here are some basic points that women aspiring to ride a motorcycle can benefit from. Get going and enjoy the thrill of the open road. Long distance riding trips is possible with modern tech and gadgets leveraging the power of information, directions, road side assistance and community development for female riders.
 
1. Buy the motorcycle which is right for you and not the one that your best friend is riding. Trends are great but a suitable bike does not have to be the one everyone rides.

2. Become acquainted with your motorcycle’s features, specifications, limitations and power. Don’t let it surprise you far off from home.

3. Get the mandatory and basic gear such as riding boots, gloves, eye protection. Your safety is your responsibility too.
 
4. Get a pre-purchase demonstration and trial ride to see if you believe in the product. It costs quite the penny, it will be with you for a long while, its something you should be able to depend on. So take trials on different models and find your match!

5. Practice in a safe setting. Take an experienced motorcycle rider along. Make sure you are not practicing on public roads and have access to first aid and other assistance. Practice makes perfect and soon it would be your second nature, with natural reflexes.

6. City riding finds everyone in a hurry. Don’t be aggressive and watch out for surprises at every corner and traffic signal. Defense is the best offense for many motorcyclists, male or female, in city rush hour. Be kind. Give pedestrians the best possible signals and horn alerts. Everyone on road may not be attentive and may even be listening to music on earphones or talking / typing on phone. So don’t let your guard down just because its the same route to college or office or marketplace.

7. If you are in touch with other women who enjoy two-wheels on a daily basis, even if not all of them have a motorcycle, form a group. Share and care about your experiences on motorcycles Vs others on a scooter.
 
8. Let go and give a pass to those with an ego !!! Many a times, there will be those men, women and children who feel joy and respect for a woman choosing to ride a motorcycle instead of a scooter. Sometimes you may also meet those on motorcycles or cars wanting to challenge your skills for no fault of yours. Let go but be determined. Be bold but give their fat ego a pass. The way of the two-wheeled warrior is to discourage unsafe riding rather than instigate. Your good vibes will bring support from any and all on the road.

9. There are Laws and the Unlawful. You must stay tuned to changing news about motorcycling laws and regulations in your city. For example, motorcycles may not be allowed on some expressways to allow high speed transport for larger vehicles or flyovers closed for repairs. Helmets are often mandatory and actually beneficial — they will keep your hair & skin protected from the elements apart from safe in a mishap. Yup, ask your dentist for some horror stories of motorcycle riders if you don’t believe me.

10. Often, motorcycle manufacturers include a bonus called RSA, which is Road Side Assistance, free for the first year. Whenever you face a technical problem or breakdown of your motorcycle, you will be able to call the Toll Free number to get support from the nearest registered mechanic. This can include a range of issues such as tyre puncture, empty petrol tank, battery fuse fault, even towing for a road accident.

If the motorcycle has a major fault and under warranty, they will tow your bike to the nearest Authorised Service Center. This way, you can have assured support not just in cities but most other regions within the nation.

RSA is not common for scooters but getting common with middle-weight motorcycles such as Royal Enfield, Honda CB 350, BMW G 310, KTM 390, Hero XPulse 200, etc.

Even if its not included, you can buy one from an RSA service provider. Also, for second year, if you choose a custom insurance policy, the RSA can be included in insurance renewal / modification as an add-on to the policy document.

 

Art of Michael Richardson by Jeff “Prince” Najar

Our world as subscribed by Michael Richardson’s art is full of full of Southern-fried funk, eye popping graphics, face melting illustrations, metal-flake designs, screamin’ guitars, and fast vixens.

In three words, Richardson creates “soul-satisfying stories” through his artistic view. And he adds a twist to his designs. His work is peppered with Easter eggs.

Click Here to read this Photo Feature only on Bikernet.com

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Indian Motorcycle Dealer Bike-Farm Melle wins top spot with a nearly 3:1 voting ratio

Last weekend, during the Custom Bike Show in Bad Salzuflen, Germany, the finals of the European Biker Build-Off saw Indian Motorcycle Dealer Bike-Farm Melle gain nearly three times the votes with their Indian Chief based Longfork Chopper “Purple Haze” over Harley-Davidson Bielefeld to take the title.

First held in 2007 and the highlight of the famous Custom Bike show, the European Biker Build-Off sees two teams competing to complete their custom bike in just three days, live, under the eyes of the trade show visitors. This year’s title fight was even more exciting as both finalists come from the region, just 30km from each other: Bike-Farm, the Indian Motorcycle dealer from Melle and Reibchen + Stegemann the Harley Davidson dealer from Bielefeld.

From Friday to Sunday at noon, the creation of two extraordinary custom bikes could be followed on the show stage and by 1 pm on the Sunday, the time had come: Judgement Day. With 529 to 179 votes, nearly a 3:1 ratio, the audience chose Bike-Farm’s ‘Purple Haze’ Indian Chief chopper as the clear winner.

“A classic long fork chopper based on the 2022 Indian Chief! It’s absolutely stunning what the Bike-Farm crew has created here. This bike radically brings to flower the seeds that are at the core of the current Chief lineup: The spirit of the past combined with the technology of today.” said Ola Stenegärd, Director of Industrial Design at Indian Motorcycle. “We always had the builders in mind during development and we worked really hard to make the reimagined Indian Chief a delight to work on. So, it’s such a pleasure to see this great canvas to create motorcycle art.”

Not only has ‘Purple Haze’ been completely designed around the current air-cooled Thunderstroke 116 engine, it also still features all the electronic amenities of the original Chief Dark Horse from which it evolved: from ABS to GPS navigation, via the touchscreen of the original gauge now cantered in the revised Chieftain tank.

Other core components have also been adopted and adapted from the original bike such as the footrests and brake systems. The frame, with a full 48° rake, was manufactured by the Dutch experts VG Motorcycle Specials, and all other components are custom-made by the Bike-Farm crew: Sheet metal parts such as the tank cover with integrated gauge and GPS transmitter to the fender were created in-house just like the sissy bar, seat, wheels, handlebars, final drive, intake and exhaust system. Even the seal-less, oil-free fork with its Teflon-lubricated sliding tubes incorporating Progressive Suspension Cartridges. Finally, Lange Metallveredelung took care of the chrome surfaces, while Vossi Lackcenter Melle traditionally handled the finishing of the paint.

“The entire bike was created within just eight weeks,” as workshop manager Tristan Frische recounts. “With four men, we wrenched, shaped and turned day and night. All the more we are delighted with this title. Not only have all the electronic features been retained, but also the fully road legal, including remaining Euro 5. So, this dream bike will soon be seen quite regularly on public roads.”

In case anyone feels inspired to build their own Longfork Chief Chopper: the VG frame is available for order at Indian Motorcycle Melle, the Indian Chief, of course, at any official Indian Motorcycle dealer.

More information about the ‘Purple Haze’ and Bike Farm/Indian Motorcycle Melle can be found on www.indian-melle.de and on their social profiles at Facebook and Instagram.

For more information on Indian Motorcycle visit IndianMotorcycle.eu and follow along on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

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ABOUT BIKE-FARM MELLE: What started in 1987 in a barn with a few friends has grown into a large company with highly specialized employees. Official Indian Motorcycle dealer since 2019, the 2,000-square-meter Bike-Farm is all about American V-twins. A constantly changing exhibition showcases custom bikes created on site, which regularly receive top marks in international competitions.

Photos by Ben Ott (@benottfilm) and Fabrian Friese (@fabfri)

“This is a thought provoking video putting out facts that governments and others do no not want to face? Take from it what you want.

Energy sources and future supply – speaking some logic,

Very simple presentation yet very real.”

 

The Two-wheeled Lifestyle Overseas

No, there isn’t a new seafaring hover-bike unveiled here. We men may be comfortable in same fixed clothing and gear on motorcycles, well-worn, tested & true. However, women have such a range of choices, they often end up selecting a two-wheeler that’s most commonly known and popular, based on their daily clothing.

Women in Asia however seem to be on scooters. With options and popularity of light-weight and middle-weight motorcycles gaining ground, many developing nations have found new customers for motorcycles in women population.

Previously only seen on scooters, they are now more comfortable straddling the motorcycle and beating the stereotype.

Click Here to Read this Article only on Bikernet.com

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Follow global motorcycling news by checking the Thursday News once every week, visit:
https://www.bikernet.com/pages/cantina_bikernet_news.aspx

In three words, Richardson creates, “soul-satisfying stories,” through his artistic view. And he adds a twist to his designs. His work is peppered with Easter eggs.

I started writing after an earful from Bandit asking me what I had done lately? I hadn’t done anything. I’d just walked in after dropping the Sporty and wrenching my back. I told him that but Bandit gives no fucks. So, I took a Delta 8 gummy from Original Origins and sat down to write. Suddenly a creative jolt overtook me…
Link – https://www.buyorigins.com/

Mike has been making art since he could hold a crayon in his little mitt. Traditional artists never resonated with him. What did resonate with him was comic books, old vinyl album covers, and skateboard art from the late ’80s, early ’90s.

He is a guitar player and grew up around family members who were really big into music. What captured his imagination and had a big impact on him was the crazy illustration located in the inside sleeve of the Guns and Roses album, Appetite for Destruction.

It turns out it was underground West Coast artist Robert Williams’ controversial painting depicting the interruption of a robot rape by an avenging metal angel. I know, Robert was out there…

Another influence was skateboarding. One cultural icon that he leaned into was Jimbo Phillips out of Santa Cruz. The old illustration design combined with that crazy Hot Rod monster style provided a lot of room for Mike to create innovative designs.

When Mike isn’t helping out the Flying Piston Benefit, he does logos, branding campaigns, illustrations for apparel companies and illustrations for bands. Significant amount of work goes into designs that get merchandised through t-shits, cups, stickers and the like. In addition, he illustrates kids books.

Currently, Mike is the creative force behind Rebel Soul Studio, where he uses his eccentric illustration style to create poster prints, apparel, stickers, skateboards, hand-painted custom shoes, and original paintings. Mike lives in Raleigh, North Carolina, with his wife Jennilee and their two amazing children, Olivia and Hendrix in the shell of a rusting ’59 Cadillac.

Also, here are a few links where his work is available for purchase online:

Rebel Soul Teepublic online Shop – https://www.teepublic.com/user/rebelsoulstudio

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/rebelsoulstudio/

Royal Enfield strengthens commitment to Americas region with the inauguration of new CKD facility, the third motorcycle assembly unit in South America and fourth across the world.

Milwaukee, WI (Friday, December 9, 2022) – Royal Enfield, the global leader in the midsize (250cc – 750cc) motorcycling segment, today began a new chapter on its journey in the Americas region, and specifically in Brazil, with the commencement of operations of its new CKD (complete knock down) assembly facility. This is a significant step forward in Royal Enfield’s plans in LatAm, and reiterates the brand’s commitment to the region, as Brazil is a strong market for Royal Enfield.

Located in Manaus, capital of Amazonas state, the new facility is the fourth Royal Enfield CKD assembly unit across the world—after Thailand, Colombia and Argentina—in addition to its state-of-the-art manufacturing and ancillary facilities located in India.

With an assembly capacity of more than 15,000 units per year, the local assembly unit in Manaus is a modern facility that will cater to growing demand in the country. The facility will engage in local assembly of the entire lineup of Royal Enfield motorcycles, including the Classic 350, the Meteor 350, the Himalayan, and the 650 twin motorcycles, Continental GT and the INT. With this setup, Royal Enfield can now ensure seamless and quicker delivery timelines for motorcycles in Brazil.

Speaking at the inauguration of the new facility, Royal Enfield CEO, B Govindarajan, said, “Royal Enfield has been working extensively to grow the middleweight motorcycling segment globally. With markets like the Americas region, Europe and the Asia-Pacific growing significantly, it has been our strategic intent to be closer to these markets and grow the business. We commenced on this journey a couple of years ago and have set up strategic assembly facilities in Thailand, and in Argentina and Colombia in LatAm. Brazil has been a very strong market for Royal Enfield, and is soon poised to be the single largest market for us outside of India. We have seen growth of more than 100% since 2019 here in Brazil. We are very happy to launch our fourth CKD facility globally here in Brazil and this is testament to our commitment to the region and the market potential, and to our growing community of riding enthusiasts in the market. We are confident that this facility will help us grow the mid-segment market here in Brazil while enabling us to efficiently cater to the growing demand.”

Brazil has been a critical market for Royal Enfield since the brand’s market foray in 2017. Having made significant strides in the country and across the entire Americas Region, Royal Enfield is now among the top five players in the midsize motorcycle segment in markets such as Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, Mexico and North America. With a burgeoning consumer base and a significant retail network in the region, the new local assembly unit will be a critical boost for business growth in the LatAm Region.

About Royal Enfield: The oldest motorcycle company in continuous production in the world, Royal Enfield made its first motorcycle in 1901. A division of Eicher Motors Limited, Royal Enfield has created the midsize motorcycle segment in India with its unique and distinctive modern classic motorcycles.

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WATCH THE VIDEO: Insane 3 Hour Mini Bike Enduro Race is a Nonstop CRASH AND BURN!! | 2022 GPS 180

Three hours of mini bike racing on a grueling 3.5 mile rocky race track. Bikes hold up astoundingly well considering the terrain, but the competition is fierce! Some built an awesome full suspension racing mini bike, and racers do their absolute best on this mini bike race trail.

by Janaki Jitchotvisut from https://www.rideapart.com

Only about half the bikes that started this race made it to the finish line.

When you see the number 180, what’s the first thing you think of? For many, it’s a complete reversal—you’re going in exactly the opposite direction from which you came. If you’re Go Power Sports, though, it’s a three-hour enduro race run entirely on minibikes in the wilds of its Texas grounds.

The guys behind the Cars and Cameras YouTube channel participated in both 2021 and 2022. Naturally, the most recent 2022 run was all about improving on mistakes made last year. I mean, that’s what all racers do, isn’t it? Overall, the experience did go a bit better, but there were definitely some hiccups that could be improved upon for 2023.

About 60 or so bikes (give or take) lined up to compete on the day, divided into three different classes. There was a junior class, for young racers. There were also two separate classes for riders with full suspensions, and hardtail riders (who were allowed to have front suspensions). The Cars and Camera crew, in their infinite wisdom, built their full-suspension entry and got it together just one day prior to race day.

While the bike and riders did pretty well, considering, as you’ll see throughout the video, building a bike the day before you plan to race it may not necessarily go how you planned. Although the team was hoping to get on the podium this year, unfortunately, that didn’t end up happening thanks to things like a chain that kept continually trying to pop off the rear sprocket. Also, have you ever had to hold a loose carburetor onto a running bike with your knee?

As they later noted, these are the kinds of things that could have been avoided if they’d had a day or two to properly shake down and test the bike prior to taking it racing. Fixing small issues and tuning the bike would have been a definite plus—and it’s something that the team is planning to do right for next year’s competition.

The attrition was pretty serious, with maybe about half the racers (or possibly less) actually finishing the race at the end. The team was very proud to have finished the race at all, which it did—and although it didn’t end up on the podium, the C&C crew did manage to bag fifth place in the softail class. The mud and memories will last a lifetime—and hey, there’s always next year.

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Honda EV Motorcycle Comes Out…. Revealed On Rose Parade Float

by Dennis Chung from https://www.motorcycle.com

It’s been a couple of months since Honda outlined its electric motorcycle plans, which included a mix of mopeds, scooters and three large-sized “Fun EVs” destined for North America by 2024 and 2025. The initial announcement included a teaser image of two motorcycles and a scooter.

Today, Honda released another glimpse of a future electric motorcycle in, of all places, a rendering of its float for the 2023 Rose Parade.

As the presenting sponsor for the 13th time, Honda will once more be the lead float in the Rose Parade. This year’s float, called “Forever Determined,” is part of an ongoing brand marketing campaign promoting the company’s initiatives including its plans for electrification. Honda says it’s pursuing a goal for carbon neutrality by 2050, and having North American vehicle sales be 100% electric by 2040.

The float shows several Honda vehicles, including the all-electric Prologue SUV, the Acura ARX-06 hybrid race car, a Hondajet Elite II plane, and a prototype Honda eVTOL (electric vertical take-off and landing aircraft). Also nestled in there is what is simply described as “a Honda electric motorcycle”.

The rendering shows a naked motorcycle that looks looks very similar to the Honda CB500F, but with a large module that presumably houses the batteries and electric motor in place of the engine.

It’s difficult to draw too many conclusions from a portion of a sketch of a parade float, but it is worth noting that every other element of the float besides the motorcycle is a product that actually exists in a further stage of development. The HondaJet Elite II was revealed in October, the Prologue is expected to enter production in 2024, and the ARX-06 will be competing in the 2023 IMSA WeatherTech SportsCar Championship. The eVTOL is still at the concept stage, but Honda has at least revealed some information about it.

The electric motorcycle remains a complete mystery, with Honda not even giving it a name in its press release (presented in full below). That gives us two possible theories. Either the electric motorcycle is so early in development that it’s just a mock-up with no relationship to an actual product, or “a Honda electric motorcycle” is all American Honda is willing to say about the project at this stage.

Given Honda’s stated goal of releasing a “fun EV” motorcycle by 2024, the latter seems more likely. With the parade taking place on Jan. 2, it’s possible Honda will provide more information on its first electric motorcycle before the end of the year.

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HONDA PRESS RELEASE BELOW :

Honda Determination to Advance Future of Mobility Set to Shine at 2023 Rose Parade

• Honda brings ‘Forever Determined’ brand campaign to life as inspirational float for 134th Rose Parade®
• From the road to the racetrack to the skies, Honda’s float will feature a range of mobility products, as Honda prepares for an electrified future
• Honda float will serve as the stage for ‘Rose Parade Opening Spectacular’ for the first time, featuring musical performance by multi-platinum artists, Fitz and The Tantrums
• All-new 2023 Honda CR-V hybrid and 2023 Pilot TrailSport SUVs are official vehicles

Honda will bring its latest brand marketing campaign to life aboard an inspirational float that will lead the 134th Rose Parade on January 2, 2023. Honda’s “Forever Determined” Rose Parade float showcases Honda’s commitment to making people’s lives better by constantly advancing mobility through innovative technology and sheer determination. Honda’s “Forever Determined” float marks the 13th time that Honda has led all floats as Presenting Sponsor of the Rose Parade.

Honda will kick off the 2023 Rose Parade with its float serving as the stage for the “Opening Spectacular” for the first time. Honda is proud to announce that the Rose Parade “Opening Spectacular” will feature a musical performance by multi-platinum artists, Fitz and The Tantrums, performing their latest high-energy, infectious new single, “Let Yourself Free.” Honda and Fitz and The Tantrums will be joined by youth singers and the Rose Parade Youth Dance Group, a collection of talented youth dancers, who will help to redefine the term “dance floor-ready bounce” during their “Opening Spectacular” performance.

The “Forever Determined” Rose Parade float highlights new initiatives that Honda is taking on – from the road to the racetrack to the skies – as Honda prepares for an all-electric future. Honda is pursuing the global goal of carbon neutrality for all products and corporate activities by 2050, including a vision for 100% electrified vehicle sales in North America by 2040.

“Our determination to advance the future of mobility is embodied in the Honda products on our parade float and in the 2023 Rose Parade theme of ‘Turning the Corner,’” said Jessika Laudermilk, Assistant Vice President of Marketing for American Honda. “Honda continues to embark on new initiatives utilizing our core technologies that will help people make their own lives better, today and tomorrow, and we’re proud to showcase that in this year’s Rose Parade.”

“Forever Determined” 2023 Rose Parade Float Brings Honda Mobility Products to Life
The groundbreaking Honda products featured on the “Forever Determined” float showcase innovative technology, driven by the ideas and sheer determination of Honda engineers. Represented on the base of the float is the Prologue, Honda’s first all-electric SUV, arriving in 2024, as well as the electrified Acura ARX-06 race machine that will soon compete in the 2023 IMSA WeatherTech SportsCar Championship, and a Honda electric motorcycle. Flying high above are the HondaJet Elite II, the fastest, farthest and highest-flying aircraft in its class, and a product of the future, the Honda eVTOL (electric vertical take-off and landing aircraft) which will fly on a new layer of the sky that is much closer to the ground than the existing layer used by airplanes and is a key part of Honda’s future “mobility ecosystem.” Honda’s 2023 Rose Parade float is powered by a specially configured 3.5L V6 engine from Honda.

Official Honda Rose Parade Vehicles
The Pace Car of the 2023 Rose Parade is the all-new hybrid-electric 2023 Honda CR-V hybrid, the most powerful and fuel efficient CR-V ever. Perfect for daily life or weekend escapes, CR-V is America’s outright best-selling SUV of the past 25 years and the all-new 2023 CR-V hybrid backs up its rugged new looks with a more fun-to-drive personality, excellent fuel economy ratings and increased capability. This all-new hybrid-electric 2023 Honda CR-V represents the latest step in Honda’s effort to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and progress toward the ultimate goal of achieving a carbon-free society. The all-new CR-V hybrid will be built at both Honda’s Indiana Auto Plant in Greensburg, Indiana and East Liberty Auto Plant in Ohio, continuing the 40-year legacy of Honda’s commitment to build products close to the customer*.

The all-new 2023 Honda Pilot TrailSport serves as the Sound Car for the 2023 Rose Parade. The most off-road capable SUV in Honda history, the all-new 2023 Honda Pilot TrailSport is the ultimate rugged family SUV with tough new styling, more passenger and cargo space and a class-leading combination of off-road capability and sporty on-road dynamics. Special rugged features on this all-new Pilot TrailSport include a raised off-road tuned suspension, all-terrain tires, steel skid plates and expanded all-wheel drive system capabilities. Designed in California and developed in Ohio, the all-new Honda Pilot is built exclusively at Honda’s Alabama Auto Plant in Lincoln, Alabama. Since 2006, Honda has produced more than 2 million Pilots in the U.S*.

Honda’s Long-standing Partnership with the Pasadena Tournament of Roses®
Honda and the Pasadena Tournament of Roses® have worked side-by-side for more than 60 years to contribute to a strong sense of community in Southern California and bring entertainment and tradition to people around the world. Honda became the Rose Parade’s first-ever presenting sponsor in 2011. As presenting sponsor for 13 years, the Honda float leads the Rose Parade and showcases the annual event theme.

Honda first collaborated with the Tournament of Roses to provide two-wheeled vehicles for the 1962 Parade. Honda has been a float participant since 1977 and has provided the official Tournament of Roses vehicle since 1994. Honda continues to supply two-wheeled and side-by-side (multi-utility) vehicles for Parade operations.

*Honda vehicles are built using domestic and globally sourced parts.

How did fossils become fuels? This is a question that will never be answered. Because fossils never became fuels. So therefore, there is no reason to assume that the amount of oil in existence is limited to the body-count of the dinosaur population. It could be that there is just oil. And apparently a lot of it.

Now, even if you say that, that there is no such thing as a fossil fuel, no one believes it. Even if you prove it, no one will believe it. For modern man, coming to grips with the reality and fact that fossils never become fuels is more than the sanity of modern man can withstand.

The next hardest thing for modern man to believe would be that there is actually no other “intelligent” life in the universe. (I will define intelligence in this context as “a cooperative effort between at least two ‘people’ towards technological advancement via machines.”)

Based on the evidence – for which there is none – this is still a sane assumption. Unlike the fossil fuel thing. Which is an INsane assertion. Not an assumption at all. Of course, one can always speculate. Speculation often leads to a search for evidence. So, speculation is good. It’s healthy. It’s constructive. So, there is no actual reason to conclude that there is any other intelligent material, verifiable, life in the entire universe other than earthly humans. But it is possible. Unlike the existence of fossil fuels. Which is impossible. No amount of speculation can justify the conclusion that oil comes from fossils. And yet it’s fossil fuel. Even though fossil fuel of ANY kind is impossible.

This is all going somewhere and where it’s going is to show you that morons are guiding your life.

Stating that there is no such thing as fossil fuel gets even more emotional resistance than stating there is only earth-based intelligent life in the universe. Even though even EYE can present the case that there actually is no such thing as fossil fuel. And I’m on on Bikernet. Hey, I hear ya: that means I have NO credentials. True. But I do have a fucking brain. I know what you’re saying, “That’s impossible, you’re on Bikernet.”

Are you done? Have your fun and let’s move on. Jesus.

So, how can this be, that the statement that there is no other intelligent life in the universe utterance is speculative; and the statement that there’s no such thing as a fossil fuel – which is idiotic – both garner the same amount of emotional resistance; when one is speculative; and the other is out and out stupid. They both meet equal resistance. How can this be.

Well, one possibility is that the intelligent species on earth have a lot of really stupid, airheaded members in it.

And this is the one I’m going with.

You’ll notice no one ever explains the process by which a dead giant lizard or pre-bird or whatever dinosaurs were….become oil, coal, or methane. Even if asked. Which no one ever does. But I’ll ask it now! How does that happen? Well, If I was asking this of myself and if I was stupid I would say “Well, they sunk down at death.” Why this would happen in an allegedly lush swampy environment filled with predators and bugs and environmental decay is hard to explain.

Most things that die on this planet get eaten. They don’t sink. Not to mention that dead dinosaurs were turned into dung. Via something else eating away at their carcasses. Thus, making oil into shit-fuel. Not fossil fuel. Well, we do have shit fuel, that’s a fact, but it becomes fire. If you set fire to it. It doesn’t become petroleum or coal or methane. A dead dinosaur can methane the environment, but via a fart. But farts do not sink. Maybe farts did back in the past. Like, ya know, the sinking dinosaurs did. But that would be..….what would be the word. Oh, yeah: stupid. Dinosaur farts take to the air. They don’t burrow into the ground. Unlike, apparently, dinosaur bodies.

And apparently the dead dinosaurs fell in groups. Not individually. Which is why you don’t find quart-sized amounts of oil in an oilwell containing just one dinosaur. Which means the dinosaurs descended into the earth in herds. So that the oil could collect into billion-gallon vacant spaces beneath the earth. All over the earth.

And under the sea: where the dinosaur fish sank after death. Endless dying and sinking in great piles of dead bodies all falling onto terrain and then burrowing out of the sheer weight of the bodies down into the caverns below and dripping their petroleum essence into the caverns and filling them up, the sinking going down thousands of feet perhaps to the center of the earth where the most vast amounts of dead dinosaurs now lie, in an oil-cored planet earth.

Then there’s the coal issue. Coal does not come from dinosaurs, no, coal comes from prehistoric forests and swamps and steamy globe-circling hot sweaty science-fiction-level lost worlds of ichor, snakes and flying reptilian bats the size of Piper Cubs.

These forests also sank but not in a solitary gradual descent like the bodies of diseased dinosaurs, but rather flattened and then reflattened by the next – I guess – layer of murk and swamp and sweat and insects, which then died and then the new replacement covering grew on top of that and this went on and on with all the layers flattening on top of each other and then turning to coal. Not marshmallows. Not porridge. Coal.

Primordial forests apparently didn’t just exist with isolated variations in age wherein this tree dies, next year that tree dies, those trees get knocked down by a dinosaur fight with King Kong and they die, with the overall forest and swamp just staying put. No, everything dies: lays down; new stuff grows; that all dies; new stuff grows, that dies, and all this layering happens pushing eons and eons of layered dead swamps farther and tighter together and they become coal.

If you were to ever take an actual fossil, drain your gas tank and put the fossil into it, say a stegosaurus thigh bone, close up the tank and turn the starter motor, that engine would never kick over. Because an actual fossil in your gas tank…..would have to be in a fossil tank, not a gas tank, to have any hope of having the car start. But there are no fossil tanks. Because oil does not come from fossils. It comes from itself. Like gold does. Like granite does. Like water does. Like mercury does. Like sulphur does. Oil’s like that. It’s just fucking there. So, you put your gas, which comes from oil, not fossils, into a gas tank. Not a fossil tank. So that you can start your engine. And it works!

Now you might ask, “Then why is it called fossil fuel?” I don’t know. Who cares. Here’s the point: if bureaucrats and journalists don’t know what oil actually IS and think it comes from sinking fucking lizards……how do they know its use IS AFFECTING THE FUCKING WEATHER? SO THAT YOU NEED TO STOP DRIVING??? TO SAVE THE PLANET??

The answer is they don’t. They’re just fucking with you. Because it’s easy and fun. And in a sense, who could blame ‘em? After all, you think there’s fossil fuel. So, you might believe anything. Even Gavin Newsom. Or Klaus Schwab. Or Greta Thunberg. Or John Kerry. Or Nancy Pelosi. Or Kamala Harris. Or Chuck Schumer. Or the CDC. Or, god help us, A. O. fucking C.

–J.J. Solari