Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET CARRIBEAN REPORT–

Thank you, thank you, thank you…..to all those fans who wanted theirnews NOW ! It’s good to know we have loyal followers each week even thoughit’s just to check out the choppers. Now all kidding aside seems like lastweek our report was lost somewhere in cyber space, but Sin and Bandit foundand posted the elusive material, thanks.

Most of us know Myrtle Beach is taking place this week, we will be joiningthe crowd sometime next week so if we miss the report you know we arekicking it in the South Carolina shores.Will report on the happenings there as soon as I get back, and the policebehaviour since it’s the first event since Laughlin.Let’s see what happens…..

One more thing about Laughlin. They are charging a club member that firedthe shots but the other club member who died, did so because of stabwounds.????? Is it me or guns don’t stab people, knives do. It so happensthe two HA members who died did by gunshots…….So , the DA is claimingthat an HA shot his brothers ??? Good luck with that one. Too bad mediawill never give us the true story.

If you guys don’t read Your Shots, then we have some news for ya’. Billy Lane and Choppers Inc. will be featured in the Discovery Channel motorcycleMania 3. I’m so glad for him and if he is busy now, wait until the program airs…Billy will be riding with some friends from Florida to an undisclosedlocation. Maybe he will give us a call to join him…Uhmm, which Rigidchopper should I take ???

We also heard some rumors and I mean rumors that Orange County Chopperswere filmed also…….If the guys from Discovery are reading this….. Hey give us a call !!!!! we can get VIP treatment at our local strip joints….

We heard that over 200 bikes showed up at the HOG mother’s day ride…..Wetried to start up our jet skis to join them. Well I heard they had a goodtime, rain or not.

Now, I’m going to ask for a favor, we don’t have a Special Construction lawin Puerto Rico ( yeap it’s a major pain in the ass trying to register ahome built bike), but we are working with some legislators to make this lawhappen. If anyone has their state laws regarding this please e-mail them toJose@ChopperFreak.com or send them to 801 Fernandez Juncos, San Juan PR 00907.The actual law and procedures for registration will work…..Thanks inadvance.

We have been featuring some of our bikes each week, pretty soon Bandit andBikernet will have lots of our bikes in a section, soon grasshopper, soon.

Here’s another of our choppers, this one is for sale, Daytec Frame and H-D80 inch motor, lots of good components and yeap , it’s a rigid.Give is a shout if you want this baby…..$16,000.00 will make ityours…..

Oh well, I’m outta here, and I even managed not to give any sermons thisweek……I guess I’m kinda sad, Sin Wu asked for a spanking but Bandit didit instead……so I missed that one. Oh well, I can only daydream aboutthose silky smooth, oriental buns……

Hey Bandit how about a Caribbean Cruise the USS Minow isavailable…….Well , there’s always the Love Ride, and we all know whythey call it ” Love” ride…

Saludos…….

Jose.

A BIT OF HISTORY FROM THE BIKERNET LIBRARY– In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighterscarried iron cannons. Those cannon fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck?

The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen.

Thus, a supply of thirty cannon balls could be stacked in a smallarea right next to the cannon. There was only one problem-how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a “Monkey” with sixteen round indentations. But, if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. Thesolution to the rusting problem was to make “Brass Monkeys.”

Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and muchfaster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, “Cold enough to freeze theballs off a brass monkey!”

CALIFORNIA HELMET REPEAL MOVES–This is from Jean Hughes, Legislative Director for ABATE of California. They havea helmet repeal bill pending that would allow them to ride without a helmet ifthey carry $1 million worth of insurance.

After much discussion nationwide, I have taken the opposite position of most onthe “list”. The “list” consensus is that once enacted, the “insurance mandate”will run wild across the country and we’ll all be fighting it in our ownlegislatures.

I believe we will be in this fight soon regardless of what happens in California.California, as a state, know their predicament better than I do. Who am I to tellthem that I won’t help because I personally don’t believe in an “insurancemandate”? As a sovereign state and a sovereign organization – California andABATE of California are free to do as they wish.

ABATE of California is asking for help. I’ll leave it up to you individually todecide for yourselves.

–spotmanJs1lilhd@aol.com wrote:

Bill (AB2700, sponsored by Dennis Mountjoy) reads as follows: “Under existing law, it is unlawful for any person to operate a motorcycle, motor-driven cycle, or motorized bicycle if the driver or passenger is not wearing a safety helmet. Existing law also makes it unlawful to ride as a passenger on a motorcycle if the driver or any passenger is not wearing a safety helmet.

This bill would limit the above helmet provisions to drivers and passengers who are 20 years of age or less. This bill would provide that a person who is 21 years of age or older may operate or ride as a passenger on a motorcycle, motor-driven cycle, or motorized bicycle without a helmet only if he or she has proof of at least $1,000,000 in medical insurance on his or her person.”

Since our victory in Assembly Transportation on 4/22 the legislators have been playing games with the bill, threatening re-referrel to appropriations, etc…well, yesterday the Rules Committee voted to send the bill on to the full assembly floor. This is likely to happen in the next 10 days…so, if your folks could please let the assembly know that you support AB2700, and that you will start riding in CA and spending your tourist dollars here…that is great…feel free to inform/educate them too …i.e., helmets don’t prevent accidents, etc…

It would be great if we could swamp the following members with letters (faxed or emailed), emails, and phone calls…THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP !!!

Thomas Calderon, assemblymember.calderon@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2058, fax 916-319-2158

Dennis Cardoza, dennis.cardoza@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2026, fax 916-319-2126

Tony Cardenas (thanks for voting in our favor on 4/22), assemblymember.cardenas@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2039, fax 916-319-2139

Ellen Corbett, assemblymember.corbett@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2018, fax 916-319-2118

Lou Correa, assemblymember.correa@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2069, fax 916-319-2169

Dean Florez, assemblymember.florex@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2030, fax

916-319-2130

Dario Frommer, assemblymember.frommer@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2043, fax 916-319-2143

Robert Hertzberg, robert.hertzberg@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2040, fax 916-319-2140

Jerome Horton, assemblymember.horton@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2051, fax 916-319-2151

Christine Kehoe, (this one has always indicated support, but won’t vote in favor), assemblymember.kehoe@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2076, fax 916-319-2176

John Longville (voted in our favor 4/22), assemblymember.longville@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2062, fax, 916-319-2162

Geroge Nakano (voted in our favor 4/22, 5/2) assemblymember.nakano@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2053, fax 916-319-2153

Lou Papan, lou.papan@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2019, fax 916-319-2119

Sarah Reyes, assemblymember.reyes@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2031, fax 916-319-2131

Carl Washington, carl.washington@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2052, fax 916-319-2152

Herb Wessen (Speaker of the Assembly), speaker@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2047, fax 916-319-2147 If you are only going to contact one person, this is the man !!

Patricia Wiggins, patricia.wiggins@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2007, fax 916-319-2107

Rod Wright, assemblymember.wright@assembly.ca.gov, 916-319-2048, fax 916-319-2148

There you have it…any contact is good…thanks again…Jean

Who has a million bucks in insurance. Texas repealed their helmet law with $10,000 in insurance and so did a couple of other states. What’s the deal?

A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a really true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “That was fucking awesome….”

BIKERNET CITIZEN SURVEY FINDINGS– When you finish reading this article about bikers, your blood will beboiling. If you want to respond for phone numbers and e-mail addresses,click on ——> Sentinel &Enterprise, then click on “Info/Feedback.”

Even though I’d like to respond with an “F” word in every sentence,I’ll respond VERY professionally. The writer obviously thinks we’re allscum bags, riding with a buzz on, so when I respond to this jerk, I will besure to put on my English professor hat! Poet

Monday, May 06, 2002 – 5:21:53 AM MST

Of springtime, bikers, and starch

By Paul Wieland, executive director of Fitchburg Community Television.They come as if the results of a warm day’s hatch. If you’re caughtunawares, they seem to fill your senses, buzzing angrily and clouding yourvision; swarming around you and threatening to attack. They are certain harbingers of full spring in New England. May flies? Black flies? Yellow jackets? Mosquitoes? None of the above. For it’s the time of the biker of which we speak, the phalanxes ofmotorcyclists who hit the roads as spring takes away black ice, and replacesit with black mood when one is stuck behind columns and rows of the bikerscareening down the tarmac. Perhaps this is being too harsh.We all have been told of thewonderful things biker groups do to serve their communities, raising moneyfor good causes, holding Marlon Brando look-alike contests. We realize they serve as a rough-edged form of population control,as the wildest sub-species of bikers annually spins itself into oblivionagainst dozens of New England trees and Massachusetts stone walls. Those of us familiar with the annual Darwin Awards, which go topeople who kill themselves in most creative and stupid ways, find there’s awho genre of bikers who are Darwin candidates every day .Consider riding down Route 12 heading north towards New Hampshireand finding oneself being passed on a blind curve by an idiot on amotorcycle who is weaving by you and other drivers at 20 miles per hourfaster than traffic is moving.

Scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?

No, whatever it is that drives men and women to buy and drivemotorcycles on public rights-of-way, it isn’t common sense. Unless commonsense is not seriously considering how fast one can die when thrown from theseat of a speeding Harley which suddenly stops speeding before your bodydoes…? 1999-2001 MediaNews Group, Inc. and Mid-States Newspapers, Inc.

–from MaryAnn Leger, member of Women On Wheels and Poet.

I cut a substantial portion of this article because I’ve read cute little idiotic attacks on motorcyclists all my adult life. They always smack of someone who knows no passion for life, never takes a risk or places their safety in jeopardy. In other words, they just don’t get it.–Bandit

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP LESSON– A forty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight Her husband watches her for a while and asks, “Do you haveany idea how ridiculous you look? What’s the matter with you?

“The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says “I don’t care. I just came from the doctor and he says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.”

The husband said, “What did he say about your 44 year old ass?”

“Your name never came up,” she replied.

–from Chris T.

SUGARBEAR ON RAKE AND TRAIL–Here’s a shot of a Sugarbear rocker. He uses his rockers as part of his custom formula to create the ideal rake and trail for handling. Over the next couple of weeks we’ll show you how it works in the Bikernet Garage.

MORE ON RELATIONSHIPS FROM BIKERNET–Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor asked the elderly couple, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?” The old man replied, “No problem at all, Pastor.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor asked the middle-aged couple, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but yes, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the pastor.

The pastor then asked the newlywed couple, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied, sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust, seeing her in that position, and took advantage of her. We made mad passionate love right there.”

You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the pastor.

“We know,” said the young man, “we’re not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either.”

HarleyPics.com update–The site has just been updated with a new feature.20 photos of the new VROD Custom, “Super Street” from Speed PointGermany.Direct Link : http://www.harleypics.com/feature_bikes/vrod/bike.htm

There is also a new Screensaver of the VROD Custom bike for PC owners.Direct Link : http://www.harleypics.com/desktop/screen/screen.htm

And to finish up a Desktop wallpaper of the new bike.Direct Link :http://www.harleypics.com/desktop/wallpaper/wallpaper.htm

Enjoy the new content and let us know what you think.

–Craig Stuart,HarleyPics.com

WE’RE BURNIN’ DAYLIGHT–We have an agent for Randall’s books and he’s got us churnin’ and burnin’ out chapters of the new books, outlines and synopsis for publishers.

The IMB Dojo was packed full of cops this week with guest officers from Hamburg, Germany. We’re contemplating taking boxing classes on Friday night. One of the masters, Brad, Layla’s brother is encouraging me to attend. He will run us through eight drills on various sized bags before we get in the ring. He promised that in six months I’d be able to kick the blond’s ass. I signed up on the spot. Let’s ride–Bandit.

This news will be short because some of the crew are headed south to New Orleans to monitor the Confederation of Clubs meetings at the annual NCOM meeting in the French Quarter. There’s bound to be a surprise news flash next week.

One more thing, before we launch into the news. As you know the Bikernet headquarters are located in a multi-rise, ivory tower in the very center of the Los Angeles Post financial district, but since a certain blond knockout entered the picture my in-house gym was moved to a less spacious location. Here’s what I was left to face upon my return from the prison ship. Now, let’s get to the news:

SAMSON SEEKS RIG RIDER–The president of Samson Exhaust and the chairman of the board, Mr. Samson, himself called and told us in no uncertain terms to supply him with a new big rig driver for their brand new, high dollar, luxury (from chromed exhaust pipes) Samson Rig. You’ll have to attend every major motorcycle event in the country. I know, it’s tough duty, just report in goddamnit and make it snappy. Drop me a resume and I’ll pass it on, if it’s worth a shit: Bandit@bikernet.com.

SCREAMIN’ EAGLE NHRA TEAM CONTINUES COMPETITIVE TESTING EFFORTS– The Screamin’ Eagle/Vance & Hines National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Pro Stock Bike drag racing team continued to make technical advances during the NHRA Summit Southern Nationals in Commerce, Ga., this weekend. Although the team did not qualify for the Sunday show, they remain confident of the potential of the program to become competitive in the series.

Cold, rainy conditions hampered the entire event and shortened Pro Stock Bike qualifying to just three rounds. After a first round mechanical, the Screamin’ Eagle Team netted a second round qualifying effort of 7.644 seconds at 166.48 MPH and a third round time of 7.619 seconds at 167.18 MPH. The “bump” to make Sunday’s show was a 7.349 elapsed time (E.T.).

“We gained a lot of valuable knowledge this weekend. The team has been busy working through technical issues, including tuning the new electronic fuel injection system,” said Mike Kennedy, director of Harley-Davidson Parts and Accessories Marketing. “We solved some of the issues which are expected in an all-new program, and we gained insight into others. Obviously, we have a long way to go to achieve our goals of qualifying and becoming competitive in this field. But we’re confident we have the best in the business working on this program.”

The team will continue testing in preparation for the Matco Tools SuperNationals in Englishtown, N.J. on May 16-19.

POSITIVE CLUB ACTION–HOUSTON, TX: Well, with that news about those few (and it really is a few) club problems,here’s a little POSITIVE perspective: In Houston, Texas, a group of citizens is workingto rehabilitate run down areas in the 136 year old Fifth Ward and Denver Harborneighborhoods. For starters, eight homes belonging to some old folks like me will berenovated and put in sparkling shape. Workers include hundreds of Conoco volunteers, andmembers of Motorcycle Clubs, including United Bikers, the Street Lords, and The ChosenFew. The bikers are working side-by-side with the St. John’s Baptist Church, the City ofHouston, the Mormon church; even with the Houston Police. Now that’s the image we wannabe working on. Congratulations, all of you hard working people!

For more legislative news go to the Bikers’ Rights Department.

TRIUMPH’S NOT DOWN FOR THE COUNT–A brand new motorcycle factory is being built by Triumph Motorcycles inHinckley, U.K. on the site destroyed in a recent fire. Production is expected to resumeby the start of September 2002. The new facility is said to be the most advanced in theworld. Hoorah!

FROM THE BIKERNET FARMING DEPARTMENT–A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for hischicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,”OK old fart, time for you to retire.”

The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of thesechickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the twoold hens over in the corner?”

The young rooster says, “Beat it! You are washed up and I am takingover.”

The old rooster says, “I tell you what, young stud. I will race youaround the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over theentire chicken coop.”

The young rooster laughs, “You know you don’t stand a chance old man, sojust to be fair I will give you a head start.”

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later, the youngrooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of thefarmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is already about 5inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porchwhen he sees the roosters running by. He grabs up his shotgun and BOOM!He blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, Dangit… third gay rooster Ibought this month.”

Moral of the story…Respect your elders …. age and wisdom can overcome youth and skill!

NUTTBOYS PROSTREET UP ON TWO WHEELS–This is the basis for the new Bikernet project bike. The plan is to shrink this sucker with the assistance of Dr. John and the Bikernet Garage. While the good doctor cuts the neck and moves it down and toward the front head we will cut an 1.5 out of the swingarm. So the project begins.We’ve made contact with a Porche restoration specialist who is a master of body work and sheet metal design. He’s also designing headers that will flatten and hide. Erst is a genius and we’ll see what he has in mind for pipes and perhaps a tank. This one is going to be fun. Hang on.

Continued On Page 2

From The GUNNY’S SACK

DONNYBROOK, IRELAND: Well, that’s actually just where the name comes from, and it’s cometo mean a “free-for-all,” and we in the biker community sure had ourselves a littleDonnybrook in Laughlin, Nevada, just before this here Sack went to press. Now it seemsthat officials from Harley-Davidson have had to cancel a motorcycle festival planned inOld Bridge, New Jersey this summer. The town’s worried about violence, basically. Damn. More than 150,000 people were expected to attend Harley’s “Open Road Tour” show, plannedfor August 16-18 at Raceway Park.

These and other good people are put off by the threat of violence in their home town. Other motorcycle events are also being cancelled or held under tighter security andheavy scrutiny by law enforcement. And it’s not like ANY community of people is free ofviolence. But when it’s this public, it’s no wonder Big Brother wants us off the roads.

We’ve made SO MUCH PROGRESS, especially with the Confederations of Clubs around theUnited States and Canada, with NCOM’s help. These Confederations afford a platform forALL bikers – clubs in particular – to have a voice, a line of communication, and MOST ofall, a VOICE for JUSTICE for ALL bikers, in the courts. This episode won’t go unnoticed,and it may set us back JUST a bit, but nobody’s gonna give up the struggle, because weall lose if we do. Peace to all, that’s all I can say.

NEWS BITS’N PIECES:

FROM THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS comes this jewel. Prayers for the road: Lakeshore’s firstBlessing of the Bikes drew hundreds of scooter people. “Blessing of the Bikes” hasbecome somewhat of a tradition all over the country. It happens in the Springtime whenmost of us getting our putts outta hybernation and shined up for the start of the ridingseason. It’s a good thing, folks, and we could all use some divine help in the trafficwe ride in nowadays.

These are real family type gatherings that everyone can enjoy, and even if it is a littlecold and rainy, the warm fuzzys you get from it are well worth it.

NEWNAN, GA: A brand new motorcycle factory is being built by Triumph Motorcycles inHinckley, U.K. on the site destroyed in a recent fire. Production is expected to resumeby the start of September 2002. The new facility is said to be the most advanced in theworld. Hoorah!

HOUSTON, TX: Well, with that news about those few (and it really is a few) club problems,here’s a little POSITIVE perspective: In Houston, Texas, a group of citizens is workingto rehabilitate run down areas in the 136 year old Fifth Ward and Denver Harborneighborhoods. For starters, eight homes belonging to some old folks like me will berenovated and put in sparkling shape. Workers include hundreds of Conoco volunteers, andmembers of Motorcycle Clubs, including United Bikers, the Street Lords, and The ChosenFew. The bikers are working side-by-side with the St. John’s Baptist Church, the City ofHouston, the Mormon church; even with the Houston Police. Now that’s the image we wannabe working on. Congratulations, all of you hard working people!

ST. JAMES PALACE, ENGLAND: When we say here in the Sack that bikers are a very diversegroup, HERE’S the topper on that poop: Prince William rides. That is, we’re talkin’ oneof the possible successors to the Throne of the British Empire. And like my boss SamHochberg might say, “that ain’t chopped liver.” The PA News story tells us that theyoung prince has had his endorident, take advantage of the services these fine peopleoffer us. Your A.I.M. attorneys are available by calling the toll free nationwidehotline at 1-800-ON-A- BIKE, or online at www.on-a-bike.com. Sam Hochberg, our OregonA.I.M. attorney is available out of Portland. He will take good care of you as will anyother A.I.M. attorney in the country.

Keep the round side on the bottom.Gunny, Oregon A.I.M. Chief of Staff

Continued From Page 3

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Man we are already in May ! Time does fly, Summer is around the corner andall the motorcycle events that come with it. Even with the latest Laughlinevents I bet is going to be a fun packed season, and let’s not forget thatSturgis is just around the corner.It seems like yesterday when Bandit told us that he was heading around theworld, that was September I believe, meanwhile we keep posting week afterweek and trying to find new things and issues to write about, although onething I don’t seem to run out of are bikes.

Shit! Things are so hectic thatwe miss stuff that it’s right in front of us, we have four of the WCC bikescompleted and several Bourget’s and BMC’s on the road, but now it’s time tobuild one of our bikes, for guess who ? Me.

That ’65 Panhead is going into some frame, soon, still don’t know who’s butsounds like Killer Choppers in New Hampshire will be the one. Still don’tknow the rake or stretch, and I’m open to suggestions (so use Your Shot ! ) Most likely it will be a 230 tire on the rear with a 4-spd kicker. Againsend your thoughts to Your Shot and money to us.

As I promised last week here’s a photo of my personal ride, 10 inches overdowntubes, 51 degree rake and 7 inches on the backbone, 96 cubes of STD andS&S Panhead motor, on a Bourget’s rigid, yep rigid, frame, just for kicks,the inverted Spyke front end is 52 inches long. Hope you like it.

It’s a sad time, fellow bikers have lost their lives in Laughlin this pastweek, as we all know the Hells Angels and Mongols had a melee which ended inshootings, several wounded and some dead. Many were arrested,though few charged since everything was taped by the casino cameras.Another fellow biker was found dead on I-40 in what seemed like a drive byshooting.

I’m not going to say that it’s senseless, since sometimes this is part ofthe life of a 1%?er, but seems odd that in this time of unity(since Sept 11th) people are fighting each other instead of the actualenemy. But things will not end up there and sadly there will be more”encounters” between these clubs, and more phone calls will be placed tofriends to find out about their well being.

Places like Sturgis and Laconia could turn into a nightmare of super duperpolice vigilance, if we thought they were bad before, wait ’till this year.It’s going to be Hell !

Ina morbid, funny sense there’s a lesson to be learned. When peopleattend these motorcycle events they believe in their relative safety. Theyinvolve themselves in this world of leather and iron. They play the role ofbad ass bikers with bad ass bikes. Nope this was no Wild Ones, nor anyother biker flick. This was the real world, baby. When those real bulletszing by you, you hit the deck and pray. This was everyday reality to those wearing Colors. Reality came in the form of .45 or .9mm bullets, this weekend. It was a wake upcall for those wearing the latest leather styles, and talk the talk. The Hells Angels ain’t fuckin’ HOG.

Back to the island. This weekend HOG San Juan will have their annual Mother’s Day ride, sincewe don’t ride with them I really don’t care if they have fun …….Well, sort of kidding aside, they will head from the northern coast up intothe mountains, will report next week about it, maybe.

Reports of “Motorcycle day” at our local race track poured into the shop,seems like a solid big twin attendance, although the Yamakakis werecreating mayhem, as always. Seems like the fun part was the ride in andride back, and people ask us why we don’t bother to go….

The HORSE issue 24 is already out , check for it and that nice ass on thecover. The Professor should check all those rigids in it….

Also for those whining about RIGIDS, here’s a photos of a BMC Notorious918. This chopper can be yours for less than 20 grand at your localdealer…….and you can even finance the damn thing !

Well I’m outta here, it’s time to get our asses in gear and get thosechoppers ready for Sturgis. We have to meet with Billy Lane in Jacksonvilleand blast the interstate to the Horse SMSO, a 124 S$S motor sounds like theticket……8 inches up, 45 degree, rigid chopper, uhhmm, better get thehell out of here and into the shop…..I see a new chopper brewing.

PS: I’m glad our Frisco friends are doing fine and were unharmed. Peaceguys !

PSS: Any fan mail or t-shirts Jose @ChopperFreak.com Any hate mail sendit to Bandit.

–Jose – BikernetCaribbean report

BIKERNET MUSIC DEPARTMENT–It’s been rough since losing my mom on December 15th but I’m getting back on my feet again. There are some positives coming up: We’re in final negotiations with Curb Records for a 24-track retrospective CD plus a couple of great shows. The one on May 24th is the second “Arrows”/”Seeds” bill, the first was in 1967!!

Thanks,
Davie www.davieallan.com

Upcoming Shows:
Friday, May 24th
With Sky Sunlight Saxon’s Seeds
Mr. T’s Bowl
5621 1/2 No Figueroa St.
Highland Park, CA
(323) 256-7561

“Chopped Out” (Chopper Art Show)Saturday, June 8th

free sundown gig at5IFTYBUCKS GALLERY
(Pomona Arts Colony)
475 West 2nd Street
Pomona, CA 91766

THE FIVE FLOORS–The Five FloorsA group of girlfriends went on vacation and they saw a five-story hotelwith a sign that reads “For Women Only”. Since they were without theirboyfriends, they decide to go in.

The doorman explains to them how itworks, “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find whatyou are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide, sinceeach floor has signs telling you what’s inside. The only rule is, onceyou leave a floor, you can’t return to it.”

They start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: “All themen here are horrible lovers, but they are sensitive and kind”. Thefriends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the Second floor reads: “All the men here are wonderfullovers, but they generally treat women badly”. This wasn’t going to do,so again they head for the stairs.

The friends move up to the Third floor where the sign reads: “All themen here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women”.

Thiswas good but there were still two more floors, so they continue upwardknowing they cannot come back to this floor.

On to the Fourth floor, the sign was perfect: “All the men here haveperfect builds; are sensitive and attentive to women; are perfectlovers; they are also single, rich and straight”.

The women seemed pleased but they decide that they would rather seewhat the fifth floor has to offer rather than settling for the fourth.After all, if it gets better with each floor.

When they reach the fifthfloor, there is only a sign that reads:”There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that thereis no way to please a woman”.

HORSE MAGAZINE SUMMARY–The Smoke Out is rapidly approaching; so keep your calendars open. Edge is doing a fantastic job and by the looks of things, this event will live in infamy. If you haven’t already made plans, what the hell is wrong with you?

Feedback…As you get the new issues, I need feedback. If you see something that jumps out as real good or bad, tell me. I can always blame Geno, so I can take the hit. Any ideas send them my way. What I really need are good bikes. There isn’t shit here in Detroit, so help! I’m starting issue 26 right now and have all the space in the world to jam the most I can into the issue. Let’s make 26 the banner issue in terms of the cover and content.

I may be prejudiced, but I think the layouts are getting better and better. The font choice, shadowing and so on are first class. The spelling errors are still there, but we’re trying. It’s not that I’m stupid, I just can’t catch them all. Ok, maybe I am a bit stupid at times, but I should be able to catch those spelling errors.

OK….let’s get back to work……

–Hammer

Ah big mistake boss man. Bike magazines are never work. –Bandit

Bike For Sale

Rhonda

THE BARRACKS DOOR– Barracks Door A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down, and his fly wide open. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”

This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.

When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.” He zipped up and finished his shopping, and remembering what the cashier had told him, finally understood. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was that told him about his “barracks door.” He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?”

The lady thought for a moment and said, “No, no I didn’t. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.

–from Bob T.

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNERS–from February and March received a collection of posters of some of Bandit’s bikes along with a signed copy of Orwell, Bikernet stickers and their exclusive 5-Ball trophy.Jay Rivera wrote the following about the posters. “I’d like to thank you for the posters of your collection of Bikers. They’re great scoots. My jealous ol’ lady got ahold of them ad ripped ’em up, because of the beautiful chicks. Well, the good news is I got rid of the ol’ lady because of that and a couple of other things I won’t discuss. Could you send me more?”

HALF PRICE ON SHOTS OF JACK TONIGHT–Damn, I got distracted by that witchy blond this sunny afternoon while I was thinking of Jack Daniels and the convention for the National Coalition of Motorcyclists in New Orleans that’s coming up. She whispered something in my ear about pussy and drug me away from the computer. I couldn’t resist.

It dawned on me that I hadn’t written a conclusion for this mess, that Layla would soon return, bust my ass and want to post the news. I needed a shot of Jack Daniels for inspiration. I’m stiff from Pilipino stick fighting lessons yesterday, and discovered that half the class is LAPD. What’s up with that? I need a ride. –Bandit

Continued From Page 2

DEALS ON PARTS–The inside connection. Anytime you are ready for a new project bros, just let me know. I always have a bunch of stuff that I can’t afford to keep around very long. I am a machinist full time and sell chopper parts on the side to try and finance my (chopper) “habit”. Ride safe…

Aric Heckman
Heckman Customs
812-569-4876
raheckman@cunn.com

BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–After a long night of making love with a woman he’d picked up at abar, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticeda framed picture of another man. The guy began to worry. “Is thisyour husband?”

“No, silly,” she replied, snuggling up to him.

“Your boyfriend then?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” she said, nibbling away at his ear.

“Well, who is he then?” asked the bewildered guy.

The girl replied, “That’s me before the surgery.”

VICTORY MOTORCYCLES CELEBRATES FOURTH ANNIVERSARY–With ‘Homecoming’ Ride to the Birthplace of the Bikes.On the Fourth of July in 1998, most folks in northern Iowa enjoyed summer pleasures like time at the beach, family picnics, ball games, and holiday parades. But inside the Polaris manufacturing facility on the north side of Spirit lake, Iowa, a group of a dozen Polaris employees gathered on their day off to make history: They assembled the first-ever Victory Motorcycle.

When the Antares Red V92C rolled off the assembly line that summer day, the Victory Motorcycle Division of Polaris Industries became the first new company in more than 60 years to design and build motorcycles in the United States.To help celebrate the motorcycle division’s fourth anniversary, and to provide Victory owners with a chance to get together to swap stories and compare bikes, Victory will host the first-annual “Victory Homecoming” at its Spirit Lake facility on May 4. Riders from across the United States and Canada will roll into the Midwest for the event. Just before noon on May 4, they will gather in Jackson, Minnesota, so they can into Spirit Lake together. Rolling into the assembly plant’s parking lot, they will launch the Homecoming event with a thunderous chorus of the distinct Victory exhaust note.(Details about the Victory Homecoming are available at www.victory-usa.com.)

During the Victory Homecoming riders can enter a custom Victory ride-in show, demo rides on 2002 Victory models, factory tours to see 2002 models being built, the chance to ride in the scenic Iowa Great Lakes countryside, and the special camaraderie shared by motorcyclists who ride Victory, “The New American Motorcycle.”

They’ll also celebrate four years of development and growth for the motorcycle division, which is enjoying a surge of sales success this year. The four Victory models in the 2002 lineup are powered by a new engine, the Freedom V-twin, which delivers 25% more power, 10% better fuel economy, and, the Victory catalog reports, “100% better styling” than previous Victory engines. This smoother, more-powerful engine and the introduction of two well-equipped Touring Cruiser models have figured significantly in the division’s strong sales increase in early 2002.

“We are off to a very good start in the first quarter for Victory motorcycles with retail sales to consumers more than double that of last year’s first quarter,” Polaris President and CEO Tom Tiller said recently. “The Victory business unit is gaining traction. The new Freedom V-twin engine, our first model aimed at the touring cruiser market segment, and a dealer network that is getting stronger each quarter are a few of the reasons for my optimism. We fully expect to build on the momentum generated this quarter.”

BIKERNET ISLAND ADVICE– A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and hethinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.”

Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blondewoman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, “How long has it been since you’ve had acigarette?”

“Ten years!” he says.

She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag andsays, “Man, oh man! Is that good!”

Then she asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink ofwhiskey?”

He replies, “Ten years!”

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket onthe right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!”

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some REALfun?”

And the man replies, “My God! Don’t tell me you’ve got a motorcycle inthere!”

–from Vancouver HOG Chapter

BIKERNET TECH QUESTION OF THE WEEK–It’s a ’91 FXRP I bought wrecked, from LRPD. I am an insurance whore for trucking companies, and a cop ran into the side of a truck on it. I had to go to the scene to take pictures, and I found out who was in charge. I bought it for $1200. The frame and drive train were unscratched but the front end was screwed. I took all the cop stuff off, put an FL type front end on it with the ogre eye, fat bob tank modified to fit the frame, big dresser rear fender that I lenthened and made a little duck tail on the end, and a tombstone.

I ride every day that it is not raining, drink a 20 ounce Bud and reflect onhow great it is to be alive. Yesterday was especially good because it’s beencloudy and the sun shining through onto the water created a rainbow ofcolors. I broke another brake pad retaining clip on my front brake. howirritating is that.

I buy them by the dozen and I can replace it in 3 minutesflat because in the past 8 years I have had this bike I have done it aca-jillion times. I keep calling this bike a piece of shit but 8 years andshe still chugging along.

Thank god for skitzo Eric at Rodney’s (Hamster)cycle house being my buddy cause I’m gonna need him pretty soon. motors ain’tmy thing. I’m a style guy.

–Ted, Btscal@aol.com

HARLEY V-ROD RECALL–Powersports Business has learned that Harley-Davidson is recalling its VRSCA V-Rod after discovering a small batch of its Revolution engines may have been over-stressed during pre-delivery tests.Only 70 bikes worldwide are reportedly affected. It is believed all owners will be notified and eligible for new engines.

The 60-degree 1130cc (69 cu. in.) fuel-injected Revolution engine delivers 115 HP and 74 ft. lbs. of torque at 7,000 RPM. Although MSRP for the V-Rod is $16,995, many of the bikes have sold for over $20,000.

–from http://www.ehlertpowersports.com

PAT KENNEDY COMES OUT OF HIDING–I worked with Pat on my first ER project bike. He is still the master chopper builder hiding in the desert near Tombstone, Arizona. Bikernet is investigating his recent secluded history in the desert and there will be a special report on Pat and his lovely wife Brook published next week.

This is one of their recent projects. Pat will also be featured in HORSE magazine and we will follow a recent project on the pages of HORSE. For more information try Kennedyschopper.com.

BIKERNET BUELL REPORTER CHECKS IN–Going to Phoenix May 11th for Firebolt school starting the 13th. Staying in Mesa probably. Be there till the 17th.

Working on my S2 Buell. I put Firebolt rocker boxes on the heads. This omitted the middle spacer of the rocker box assembly. Also you lose the umbrella valve and a rubber gasket. I’ll be using the Firebolt breather valves that are located on the top of each rocker box cover. This will allow one hose from each head that runs along the frame out to the back of the rear fairing. This makes for a very sano ass’y for a Buell.

–Paul

Continued On Page 4

By the time we reach the end of the week we will have sliced the list to ribbons and returned to the mild mode of Bikernet insanity. A couple of days ago we shipped all the trophies out to February and March Show Winners–I’m innocent, don’t blame me.

By the end of the week we will have a surprise in the HA leather area. We are making fine leather orders easy, comfortable and extremely accurate, by coaching you to supply accurate measurements that will give us what we need to deliver the perfect Vest, leather shirt, jacket or chaps directly to you.

Next week Nuttboy, Wrench and I will put a rolling chassis together for the Nutt and prepare it for the good Doctor to modify. Finally Helen Wolf designed a Bikernet sweatshirt in a hooded garment that’s so comfortable that you’ll want to wear the damn thing day after day until it smells so bad, you could fuel the stove with the fumes. We hope to have it up on the site by tomorrow.

On top of the monumental list I had four women in the headquarters last weekend hiding from Laughlin. Do you think I got a damn thing done? Hell no. Let’s get to the news:

HOME TEAM–When I got home from the prison ship I discovered a couple of copies of Reader’s Digest laying around the headquarters. That’s a publication full of depth and heart. One of the articles was about a bar maid at Kelley’s Bar and Grill in Clovis N.M., Carolyn Kitchens. Her house burnt down and while eight of her customers sat around a table having a beer one afternoon one of the patrons said, “We should build her a house.” She thought they were kidding, but they did. Among the volunteers were electricians, roofers, plumbers, carpenters and concrete men and of course bikers. She put up the money for materials, they got the deals and went to work. A roofer Steve Mullins was in debt with his boss. He cut a deal to wipe it off the books by putting the roof on the new home, but after the roof was done he kept coming back to assist.Friends helping friends.

BIKERNET BLONDE DEPARTMENT–A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets upand moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendantwatches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blondethat she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.

Theblonde replies “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Montreal and I’mstaying right here!”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot andco-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class whobelongs in Economy and won’t move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes backto the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economyshe will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, “I’mblonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Montreal and I’m staying right here!”

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the policewaiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen toreason.

The pilot says “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’mmarried to a blonde. I speak `blonde’!” He goes back to the blonde,whispers in her ear, and she says “Oh, I’m sorry”. . .gets up and movesback to her seat in the Economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said tomake her move without any fuss. “I told her First Class isn’t going toMontreal”.

–from Bob T.

ROGUE’S NEW RIDE–He’s been behind a camera working for Easyriders in the beginning, then Biker and now a correspondent for Bikernet. We will feature his new ride on the site shortly.

Rogue has also been instrumental with the initial frame components for Nuttboy’s ride and my next project. He was involved with clubs and motorcycle rights in the ’70s and if you see him, he just may have a Bikernet sticker for the asking. Be respectful, he’s the only motorcycling blind photographer we know of.–Bandit

NEW BIKER FILMS IN THE MAKING–WARNER BROS.”TORQUE”FEATURE FILMDRAFT: APRIL 12, 2002

Exec. Producers: Bruce Berman, Mike RachmilProducers: Neil Moritz, Brad LuffDirector: Joseph Kahn

Writers: Kevin Polay, JP Donahue, Matt Johnson

Casting Directors: Randi Hiller & Sarah Finn

Casting Associate: Courtney Gross

Casting Assistant: Scott Moore

Start Date: July 8, 2002

Location: Los Angeles

WRITTEN SUBMISSIONS ONLY TO: FINN / HILLER CASTING588 N. LARCHMONT BLVD.2ND FLOORL.A., CA 90004

[CARY FORD] Caucasian, In his 20s, he has laid-back good looks, a winningsmile, and the kind of bad boy charisma that reduces women to jelly. Alifelong biker, Ford isn’t happy unless he’s bombing around the country onhis “crotch rocket.” A couple of years back, he fell afoul of Henry, abrutal biker leader who convinced Ford to work in a motorcycle chop shop.

When Henry suspected Ford of ratting him out to the Feds, he went ballisticand burned down Ford’s shop. With both Henry and the Feds pressuring him,Ford fled, and has spent the last couple of years in Thailand laying low.

Back in the states for a big rally, Ford hooks back up with his old palsDalton and Val, and he also runs into Shane, the beautiful woman he leftbehind. Ford just wants to forget the past and get on with his life,resuminghis rudely interrupted relationship with Shane and opening up a new bikershop in San Francisco. Butwhen Henry frames Ford for a murder he didn’t commit, Ford is forced to fleeyet again, this time with Dalton, Val and Shane at his side. During thecourse of their thrilling but deadly cross-country adventure, Ford mustconfront his past and face his old nemesis before he can move into thefuture.

LEAD (2)[SHANE] Caucasian, Hispanic or African American, this long-legged, naturallybeautiful woman biker, 20s, has “curves tighter than Mulholland Drive” and amind to match her impressive exterior. Shane, who is also passionate aboutmotorcycles, makes a living as a custom bike seat vendor – a convenientexcuse for her to hit all the big motorcycle rallies in the country. Acoupleof years back, she and Ford dated for seven months, but when he left thecountry suddenly, Shane wrote him off.

Now, Ford’s back, and despite Shane’sinitial skepticism, the two feel the same old chemistry. However, when Shanerealizes that Ford is wanted for murder, all her old doubts resurface.Realizing that the vengeful Trey could use her to get to Ford, Shane isforced to go on the lam with Ford on a deadly cross-country flight, justahead of the cops and a passel of murderous bikers. But a funny thinghappenson the way to San Francisco. Shane not only realizes that Ford is innocent,but that she has fallen in love with him.

RUFFIANS PRODUCTIONS/RUFF RYDERS/ AMEN RA”WHEN THE RIDE IS RUFF”FEATURE FILM

Producer: Ruffians Productions/Ruff Ryders/Amen Ra

Director: Kirk Wong

Writer: Thomas N. Weber

Casting Director: Aisha Coley

Casting Assistant: Claribel Delgado

Dates: Approximately June 24 for 10-12 weeks

Location: NY and North Carolina

ALL PHOTOS & RESUMES TO: AISHA COLEY603 GREENWICH STREET – 1st FLOORNYC 10014

ATTN: WHEN THE RIDE IS RUFFPLEASE BE AWARE THAT MOTORCYCLE SKILLS ARE A PLUS BUT NOT A NECESSITY. ALLACTORS MUST BE ATHLETIC OR HAVE SOME ATHLETIC ABILITY.

[BEAR] Caucasian male, mid 40’s-60’s, an imposing man with a powerfulpresence and a commanding voice. A biker. His worn leather jacket reads:Biker Council, President. He’s an old, wise, weathered warrior, theundisputed boss. No one questions his decisions, he settles disputes, andeveryone, even rival gangs heed his advice. Additionally submit “name”actors…

[CHRISTINE] Caucasian, Latina (Jessica Alba type), Asian female, 20’s,strong-willed, beautiful and tough, possibly exotic. This actress needs tobevery athletic. She’s Bear’s daughter and very much the product of herfather…

[COBRA] Caucasian, late 20’s to mid 30’s, cunning and handsome, he’s anoutlaw, a tough-ass biker covered in bright tattoos. He’s served time in prison.This “Road Devil” is Sam’s main opposition, a vicious rival…[EVE] Open ethnicity, including Asian, African-American and Latinapreferred,20’s, Sam’s (Wesley Snipes) love interest. She’s a kick-ass biker whoteachesself defense for a living. She’s street, she’s gorgeous, she’s sexy with aconfident stride…

[SNAKE EYES] Open ethnicity (NOT African-American), 20’s, top lieutenant toLT, the leader of a rival motorcycle gang called The High Rollers. He’smean-ass looking….[X] African-American male, 20’s. This role is modeled after rapper DMX.Please submit accordingly. X must be street tough and athletic. X is also acomputer wiz who becomes Sam’s (Wesley Snipes) main ally…

[YOUNG BUCK] African-American, Latino, or Asian, teens to mid 20, a youngJohn Leguizamo or young Chris Tucker type. A comic…

Continued On Page 2

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET WEAPONS TRAINING– A man got a raise and decided to buy a scope for his hunting rifle. Hewent to a gun shop outside of town, and the clerk fitted a scope to his weapon.

“This scope is so good you can read the name on the mailbox of my houseway up on that hill,” the clerk said.

The man looked through the scope and a big grin spread over his face.

“What’s so funny?” the clerk asked.

“I see a naked woman and a naked man through the window.”

“That can’t be!” the clerk exclaimed. “My wife’s at work.” He grabbed the scope, took a look for himself, and to his chagrin, hefound the hunter was right.

Furious, he gave the rifle back to the hunter and said, “The scope isyours for nothing if you take these two bullets. Shoot my wife in the head, then shoot off that guy’s dick.”

“The hunter, looking through the scope, said, “I think I can do that inone shot

–from Chris T.

NEW GIRLS IN THE CANTINA

WHITEHORSE PRESS BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT–Big excitement! We’ve just gone back to press for a third printing ofour new book, PURPLE MOUNTAINS: AMERICA FROM A MOTORCYCLE by NotchMiyake, 224 pages, $19.95, order code PURM.http://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0204&ID=purm

Excellent reviews and word-of-mouth have made PURPLE MOUNTAINS ourcurrent #1 bestseller:”It’s a book that makes you think about the choices in your own life,good and bad.” –Classic Bike Rider magazine

“It may make you figure out how to take a few months off and do a reallylong trip. You might not end up writing such a good book, but it willhave cleared your mind and allowed you to focus on how you want to livethe rest of your life.” –Clement Salvadori, Rider magazine

“All of us possess the fantasy of seeing the USA by motorcycle, andhere’s a book by someone who has done it.” –Trail Rider magazine

“This is Notch Miyake’s first book and he’s off to a great start.” –BMWOwners News

Now! Order your copy of PURPLE MOUNTAINS online or with a quicktoll-free phone call to 800-531-1133. The Whitehorse Press MotorcyclingCatalog has the largest selection of motorcycling books and videosanywhere, plus tools, riding accessories, and novelties. See foryourself athttp://www.WhitehorsePress.com/Email.asp?CN=50245&EN=en0204&ID=home

BEACH RIDE UPDATE–The Beach Ride a Charity Ride for the Exceptional Children’s Foundation in Los Angeles is preparing for their 11th Anniversary Event on the Beach in Ventura on July 14th. The run is Sponsored by Bartels Harley-Davidson, the Uglys MC and Bikernet.com.The Uglys do a damn good job and band promotion and War will be on site, along with Ms. Beach Ride and a Bike Show. If you are interested in entering the show ahead of time fill out the following form and sent it to me at Bikernet, P.O. Box 1168, San Pedro, CA 90731. Make your check out to Exceptional Children’s Foundation. This fee covers your bike, you’ll still have to purchase a charity ticket for entrance.

Bike Show Entry Form

Participant’s Name: ________________________________________

Bike Info –
Year: ___________________________
Model: ___________________________
Class: ___________________________

Classes:First and Second Place Awarded For Each Of The Following:( Sportster ( radical ( Chopper ( Street Custom (( Performance Custom ( Nostalgic ( Strange & Unusual ( And ( Best of Show (

All Participants Receive An Event T-Shirt
Entry Fee: $25

BIKERNET MEDICAL STUDY–A man went into the proctologist’s office for his first exam.The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room andthat he wouldbewith him in just a few minutes.

When the man sat down and began observing the tools, he noticedthere were 3items on a stand next to the Dr.’s desk:
1. A tube of K-Y jelly
2. A rubber glove
3. A beer

When the doctor finally came in, the man said “Look Doc, I’m alittleconfused.This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for and I know whatthe gloveis for,but, can you tell me what the BEER is for?”

At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over tothe door.The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse……..”Dammit, Helen! I said A BUTT LIGHT”

–from Dr. Hamster

Continued On Page 3

Continued From Page 2

ZACHARY DESEASE REPORT–A woman was distraught because she had not had a date, or sex, in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang,so she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “Ok, take off aw you crose.” The woman did as she was told.

“Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of the room.” Again, the woman did as instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, “ok, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.” She did.

Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your problem vewy bad. You haf EdZachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”

Worried, the woman asked anxiously, “Oh My God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?”

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, “Ed Zachary Diseaseis when your face rook Ed Zachary like your butt.”

–from Chris T.

THE LAST BIKER–The old ones stand out now, their numbers dwindling down. They’re a sad loss to the American scene, these individualists with the worn down clothes and faces. You can still see them sometimes, the real ones, some in packs, not as large as a while ago, sometimes alone.

The alone one is the best.

One who’s been there a long time, staying in the life he loves, never giving into a system that sucks you up like a vortex if you slip just one foot into it. He’s got his connections – a few like him, that care for and protect each other. Hanging onto the only unique lifestyle left, like old dinosaurs, their faces are leathered and rough by forty, but their eyes still sharp and knowing.

Some are gray in the beards and braids, some are limp in the step and some pain in the kidneys. Still they know that no other life is life, but merely a dreary journey into everyone else’s monotony. He looks at the new ones, then turns away, knowing they will never know of life on the road and of the women who can take it. Wild, loving, women who’ll hang in with them, because they love it too. A woman with a wild heart and a loyal soul, that’s what’s needed here.

The new ones are shiny and young and a bit too clean. They’re born into a system that has an iron grip now. The new one’s will never know and couldn’t take “the life.”

I think it’s a mystery, even to the old ones, why this life is theirs, but it is, and it’s the only one.

When the last biker falls, like the dinosaurs, the sun will go down on a breed of heart-of-gold, tough as nails, free spirited men, who even at their worst, love what’s theirs and protect it. In a world wide system that is making all people as alike as manufactured dolls, the earth will be a duller place….When the last biker falls.

–Wildboomer

Bikernet Caribbean Report–

When I got my first motorcycle, more or less 30 years ago, it was thecoolest chopper mini bike, white with purple accents, ape hangers, and evena sissy bar. What a birthday gift for a 6 year old !!!! As soon as Imanaged to pull that yo-yo and start the Briggs motor, I was riding allover my grand parents back yard. I would come back when it was out of gas,just to fill her up again and keep on riding. That little bike took thebeating of it’s life. Even though it was painted sort of sissy, I lovedthat little chopper, it was used as motocross bike, cruiser and stylingdown my house’s sidewalk. Nope, I was not allowed to leave the property,that was the only rule.

I had two acres or so to ride so it was not that bad, but rules were meantto be broken and soon the streets on our neighborhood became ourinterstates. Other kids had similar bikes, some had z-50’s and C-70’s, weuse to ride in a bunch all over the place, and we had a grand time ,ALL ofthe time. I guess that’s the first time I felt actual freedom, just us,riding and hiding from the cops, sort of like today, only with much largerengines and bikes. We did not wear our helmets since laws were not asstrict, and if we got caught by a cop we were taken back to the house orhad to push the bikes back. I feared my grandma’s swift but lethal hand morethan we did the friendly cops.

This brings me to this report, there’s somephotos from our friends in Cuba, the “harlistas” this group of people liveunder a communist regime and constant vigilance, but boy do they know themeaning of freedom ! They ride around without a helmet or speed limit.They keep their Harley’s running with their hands on approach, no catalogs,no part shops, no “master builders” they make what they need and they enjoyevery second of each ride.

Most use their bikes every single day, (pre 58 so they are allRigids !) it’s their only transportation. But still you meet thesepeople and they are so happy, so sincere, so giving (they will lend me anybike at any time and insisted on doing so) that’s it’s amazing. No worrieswhatsoever of getting their Harleys stolen or getting stranded. Alwaysanother “Harlista ” would help. They even ride together to the cemeteryonce a year to visit their fallen friends, their life is full of hardship,most of them will never leave the country or see a Bike Week, not even reada Harley magazine !

But boy do they enjoy their life , as “Harlistas” So the moral of thestory, even though we live in the “Land of the free, home of the brave” wehave lost some freedoms that we took for granted. We can’t choose not towear a helmet, nor ride in Sturgis without the worries of cops busting usto meet quotas, or sleep without bringing the bikes into the motels so theydon’t disappear. Sometimes I wish we were kids again and do what we wanted,within reason.

Due to the rains last weekend the Dia del motociclista was canceled, we arewaiting for a future date. Such is life in the tropics.

We are sad to report that one of the twins, The Horse maidens passed awaylast week end, we still have no details but will report as soon as we getthem. It’s so sad to loose a young life with such a bright future, ourcondolences go to the family and friends. I guess the lord really works inmysterious ways.

Everyone is getting ready for Laughlin this week, hope to get some reportsfrom there since I will not be there…..sucks !

Here are the photos of Cuba as promised last week, we have some more fromvarious places in the Caribbean and Latin America, will sort them out infuture reports.

I’ve noticed a few messages at “Your Shot” since my comments last weekabout the rigids, Cool ! Keep on sending them, since we like hearing ourreaders opinions and enjoy positive as well as negative remarks— thanksguys.

We are working on our 4th and 5th WCC choppers, hoping to have them donefor Sturgis, also my old skool rigid was kicked to life this Sunday andit’s on it’s way to hit the road (yeah, will post photos as soon as it’sdone). More so, I managed to get some time off to send the first 12 pack ofbikes over Se?or Bandidos way…… Also we are getting our ass in gearfor the Summer tour, The Horse SMSO and then Sturgis “home of really nicepolice who love PR choppers”, also the plans are there to visit Bandit inCalifornia and do the Love Ride….

Oh well see ya next week, have a good one.

Jose – Caribbean Bikernet reporter who’s a good friend of the overworkedand underpaid policeman from the beautiful Sturgis, Deadwood and Keystone, etc,etc,etc.

Continued On Page 4

Continued From Page 1

DAVIE ALLAN ROCKS–A show is brewing at “Mr. T’s” for May 24th. It’s with Sky Saxon & The Seeds. If it happens, more deja vu: we were on the same bill on a show during my 1967 nationwide tour.

HA LEATHER–BIKERNET TAKES GIANT STEP FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE–Buying clothes mail order is a risky pain in the ass. It’s convenient unless you don’t receive the size you need. Especially in the case of leather, when that UPS driver delivers your new best, the bastard should fit you like a glove. We here at Biker Net with the artistic assistance of Jon Towle have developed a comfortable process of taking measurements for more accurate, safe and comfortable ordering. Just take the measurements and include them in your order and you’re guaranteed that you’ll get what you need.

If HA is completely confused by your measurements and order, they will contact you to prevent shipping the wrong size. So not only are they carefully manufacturing the best leather line on the market, but they have the service to back it up and insure you get the piece you order the first time.

BIKERNET LITERARY DEPARTMENT–We currently have a short stack of books on the table to be reviewed for our readers. The first one will be Sonny’s news book of Road Tales. A book based on the archive of wild wanton tales of the old school biker.His last book hit the New York best sellers list and for all biker book writers I hope that this one does also. Watch for it at all book stores, bike shops and for Sonny to be signing books at upcoming events.Watch for a review of his book on Bikernet in the next couple of weeks.

FROM THE POLISH ARCHIVES–Did you hear about the Polish Navy’s tragic accident?A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start their new submarine.

If you like Submarine stories, I recently read a book about the development of Submarines before WWII. Did you know that before 1940 there was virtually no way to rescue men in downed subs. They either drowned or slowly died of carbon monoxide poisoning. The book was written about the man who developed the diving bell and saved the crew of a brand new sub that went down in over 100 feet of water. The book, The Terrible Hours, by Peter Maas is tribute to the man behind the greatest submarine rescue in history.

CYRIL HUZE SPIKE LIGHT–What says more chopper than a spike shape? The style will take you back, but the 2-function bulb or strong L.E.D. these small lights are housing is hardly yesterday’s news. These lights will turn heads well before you even make turns. Red or Amber lens. Show polished billet aluminum.

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com

RUN TO THE WALL REPORT–The Run To The Wall, on Memorial Day is a great run. Everyone starts arriving from out oftown on Friday. All the shops in the area have parties and Open Houses onSaturday. Sunday morning the run organizes at the Pentagon parking lot. Thenumber of bikes that gather there is huge.

The parade usually starts at noonat it last close to three hours. The streets of Wash. D.C. are lined with peopleon both sides waving and cheering. The wall itself is what the run is allabout, rather the names on the wall, you can not imagine the number of nameson that wall until you see it. It really numbs you for a few seconds.

I havebeen to this event probably at least 10 times and everytime I go I come awaywith a new appreciation for all those who gave all they had for our freedom.

–Mike Pullin

There is a new biker tradition beginning this summer in the USA!!!!! TheMid Summer THUNDER Rally ( http://www.midsummerthunder.com )is destined tobecome a regional annual rally ( possibly 2 to 3 times a year) in themid-south USA.

Pat Savage ( http://www.patsavage.net )contacted me and we are currently innegotiations to get them there to play as well as, the band Southern Cross( http://www.southerncrossrocks.com ) from Houston, TX (who contacted usalso).

This event began its life in Mid-January 2002 and the website went upFebruary 9, 2002. As of 02:30 April 22,2002 the site had over 62,600 hits.

People are confirmed to come from as far away as Belgium, and in the statesfrom Arizona, Illinois, Ohio, Virginia, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas,Missouri, Kansas and Louisiana (With More to come).

We already have request for press-passes and/or coverage from Tulsa Today,Thunder Roads, Skunk Dots, Biker Life as well as several radio andtelevision stations.

It has also entered into the picture of doing either a sponsored orpay-per-view webcast of the Rally… (charge what we charge for entry of asingle person.)

Please contact me as soon as possible to discuss these possibilities.

If you would like additional Posting as a Rally supporter as well asannouncement of that at the Rally send us a ladies tank top and Man’sT-shirt to give as a door prize.

Live Long & Ride Free!

Regards,

Michael E. Weaver
http://www.midsummerthunder.com
okiegent56@cox.net
+1 (405) 520 4664 (Global Mobile/Msg)
+1 (603) 963 7799 (Fax)

BIKERNET JAMAICAN REPORT–Hey, I just returned from Jamaica, beautiful island, but some really shit roads, and not an H-D in sight, nothing even close.Although the Jamaicans do see a marketing opportunity did see tons of H-D shirts with “Jamaica” under the bar and shield. Sure there is “bikers” all on them damn crotch rockets(I really hate that term).

–Jef

BIKERNET ONE LINERS–4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in thebathroom.6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, thedrinkspilled and that ice, well it really chilled the mood.

CALENDAR SHOW PRESENTED BY BIKERNET.COM UPDATE–

The 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show set for July 20-21st , is presented by Bikernet.com at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA. It’s really coming together with 130 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, and featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets.

Exciting features at this year’s Show include an added celebrity host, legendary biker journalist Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by the exciting new performance show band Powder with lead singer Ninette. If you like the well known band No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani, then the talents of Powder will blow you away even further with their even more electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

And of course, The Calendar bike Show Show features the most competitive bike contest on the West Coast with it’s prestigious Hot Bike magazine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance.

With all the additional attractions that Long Beach has to offers including the ferry boat to Catalina Island with a day?s activities there, the Aquarium, the downtown restaurants and clubs, plus what greater Los Angeles has to offer, the LA Calendar Motorcycle Show is a must do attraction for across-the-country visitors and it will continue to grow as a major motorcycle week destination like Laughlin, Daytona and Sturgis.?

Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.

Continued On Page 3

Continued From Page 3

BIKERNET ANIMAL CARE DEPARTMENT–A lady approaches her priest and tells him, “Father, I havea problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they onlyknow how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired.

“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want tohave some fun?'”

“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have asolution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots overto my house and I will put them with my two male talkingparrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrotswill teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phraseand your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.”

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to thepriest’s house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beadsand praying in their cage. The lady puts her two femaleparrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say,”Hi, we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot andexclaims, “Put the beads away. Our prayers have beenanswered!”

–from Chris T.

BIKERNET BABES HEADING SOUTH–along the coast for the headquarters from rain soaked Washington state. We’ll have all the reports next week of their tour. Here are two shots of one of the sex hungry bitches trying to drown their overwhelming desires with a bottle of Quervo. Hope it helped.

NEW BIKERNET UPS DRIVER–Just found out about our new UPS driver in the neighborhood.

Gee…. I think I need to order more stuff.

LET’S SPLIT–