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May 23, 2002 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–TERRORISTS, PROJECT BIKES AND SEX

I recently completed writing an editorial for Cruising Rider on The Code Of The West. At the top of the list for all man kind should be freedom of the road and sex. If the world learned the code we wouldn’t have all these hate and religious crimes to deal with.

There’s not much more I have to babble on about or needs to be said. I get an occasional complaint about the level of sex mentioned on the site. No, I’m not Hugh Hefner, nor do I want to be, but we have the freedom to have sex after breakfast, work on motorcycles whenever we feel the urge and can ride most anytime. Life couldn’t be much better. So, what’s there to complain about?

I just got a call that Hollister was canceled due to club wars. I’ll wait for Wino Joe to confirm. As you’ll see in the news there’s other reports on Hollister. Let’s get to it:

WHAT’S A CAMEL TOE?– Hell, I don’t have the slightest, but this question came with some fantastic images. I can’t imagine what a camel has to do with a woman’s body. Here’s a couple of the images:

bikinitoe

BIKERNET MEDICAL STUDY–A man goes to the optometrist. The doctor tells him, “You MUST stopmasturbating.”

“Why?” the man asks, “Will it make me go blind?”

“No,” the doctor replies, “but its upsetting the other patients in thewaiting room!”

–from Buckshot


BIKERNET DESERT REPORT– Well I finished my “Prison Term” in the desert last week. It was Africa hot in Phoenix, Arizona!! Buell school went well. Doug Fitzerald was the instructor from MMI. Doug is a Buell rider and racer. He was very helpful with all the latest info on the Buell Firebolt.

We had a really good group of people there for this class. All Buell enthusiasts. I think this is a key element in Buell’s success with the Firebolt. We the mechanics and the H-D/Buell dealers need to provide an added effort and support to the Buell customer. I feel this has been lacking at some dealerships.

The Firebolt like the V-Rod are pretty much a new type of motorcycle compared to the regular H-D models. They are also new to dealers and the H-D mechanics who work on them. Maintaining the V-rod and the new Firebolt is easier in some respects and more difficult than the standard models in other respects. For anybody who has had to work on foreign sport bikes will have a leg up.

Remember all that training and work you did on foreign bikes back in school at MMI. Remember wondering why are we doing this Jap shit?? Well for those who can remember that training, you will be glad you stuck it out at MMI. That background will serve you well while working on the Firebolt and the V-rod.

For the “Old School” people you will be frustrated at first. There will be “Why the fuck did they do this”, “What the hell is this”, and “You got to be kidding”!!! Repetition and patience will make the transition easier down the road.

Hey to me changing a belt or putting on a rear tire on a Firebolt is a hell of alot better than putting on chrome front disk rotor and caliper covers on a new “Bagger”!!! Many of the accessories in that H-D P & A catalog make me cringe every time someone orders them.

The good thing about working on the Firebolt for whatever the reason will be the test ride afterwards. They just handle so damn well.

–Paul

brenda banner
A shot of Brenda Fox in the new 1/2 page magazine ad for Bikernet.com!

BIKERNET INSIDER REPORT FROM QUEEN MARY SHOW–Are my services needed this year or will you be having BANDIT do it?

Brenda Fox

The following is a response from the founder of the LA Calendar Show, Jim Gianatsis.

Dear Brenda,

I certainly would like to continue with your help again at this year’s LA Calendar Bike Show as MC / Hostess / Stage coordinator for both days.

Bandit is our token “sexy male model / biker dude” for the event, and as such, he will need a strong and forceful female role model (aka dominatrix) to look after him and have him on stage just a couple times each day for things like the Calendar girl Introduction and a Celebrity Interview, Calendar Girl Contest and Sunday’s Bike Contest trophy presentation.

We’d also like to get Hot Bike editor Howard Kelly up on stage for an interview and to plug his magazine, possibly on Saturday at 5pm if he is at the Show then, and certainly on Sunday at 4 pm for the Bike Contest trophy presentation and photos with the Hot Bike Best of Show trophy presentation.

Everyone is invited to check out the Bike Show Event Schedule I’ve posted on our website at http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW2.HTM

Best regards.
Jim Gianatsis, Director
Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show
ph 818.223.8550
fx 818.223.8590

Yes sir, anything you say Captain–Bandit

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Back from Myrtle Beach, and here’s my report . It sucks. I mean, we had agreat time with our friends from Lynn, P.O.W Dave and Kevin da Leader,Crazy Horse and Edge from the HORSE mag, but we found MB to be a weirdplace for a rally. There is no hub, or heart if you prefer. When we visitDaytona we know that something is going on between Main and Beach St. or inSturgis, Main and Lazelle, but not here.

Besides having to roll for toomany miles to get from one place to another, and in boring tourist traproads, everything was spread apart. If you wanted to go visit some vendorsand say hi, there was not enough time on the day to drive the distance (ifyou could find them) Although it seems like a place to go party, dozens ofstrip joints and bars were all over the place, including the tourist traptheme stuff ala Hard Rock and House of Blues.

Anyway, who the hell wants toride 40 miles to get hammered and ride 40 more to get back, praying thatthe cops won’t pull you over, or worse, get in an accident.The police seemed to be in full force, even FBI special ops. Whilehanging out at the bars we could see dozens of cops with infra red binoculars (checking the blatant display of tits of course), but I reallydon’t know what they were so worried about. The fewpolice that we got to talk to were polite and helpful.Brownie points to the South Carolina police.

All in all we had a great time dissecting bikes and builders, paint jobsand breast sizes. Lucky for us we were in our Dually chopper, ’causesaturday it started raining and it got polar bear ass cold, (at least forour tropical skins).BTW here’s a photo of our trusty ride for the week, yep, black andlong,,,,It’s a Chevy Chopper….

jose truck

And let’s not even talk about the traffic jam getting out of there Sunday,that’s when we noticed the acclaimed 200,000 bikers in town.But it wasn’t all bad, we had fun hanging out with friends who we seldomsee. I loved the new signs though…..No Colors, No Weapons, NoSupport Shirts ??? What else ? No titties under C cup , no people namedAngel, no red bikes ? Paranoia will destroy ya’ like the song says.

Anyway, I would recommend the organizers (if they read this) to get theiract together and create a more compact headquarters location. If the riding was superb like in the Black Hillsyou can get away with that, but not on the boring Myrtle Beach roads.

Edge from the Horse was talking about the SMSO, that will be a cool assparty, many bands, mayhem and a Chopper will bebuilt at the three day event, plus a lot of your regular Bikernet and TheHorse staff will be there.

It’s from July 26 to 28th in Salisbury (yeap like the steak) NorthCarolina, or check the Horse web site for more info.

Our friend and fellow Bourget’s distributor Steve Zammit from Long Islandcalled us cause he got his trailer stolen and six Bourgets inside, thetruck and trailer were found in Queens, but no bikes. I will have thedescription and Vins on the bikes next week.If you happen to know anything, shoot an e-mail there might be a reward orknuckle sandwich galore….Jose@ChopperFreak.com Thanks.

Time to go , we have lots of work to catch up to, the price ofplay, and we are getting so near Sturgis it’s not even funny.

Thank God we love this shit,…..Choppers Rule !

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet comedy report.

jose bike

THE BIKERNET MARRIAGE COUNSELOR– One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner.Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrongand what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to thedrugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up andasks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot andwaits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixedsome tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples fromhis wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for goodmeasure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits theresults.

The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant…twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better

email joke

Continued On Page 2

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Flathead Indian Engines

 

Kiwi is proud to introduce the worlds first operationalproprietary Indian engine and transmission powerplant. The first new Indianengine since the factory closed its doors in 1953. We utilized our proprietarycomponents and built it larger than stock to 84 cubic inches (80 and 74-inchversions also available).

We call this the “Kiwi Integrated Engine” which means that all of thecomponents are manufactured by Kiwi. This characteristic guaranteesthe fit and operationalperformance of each and every part.

Since we have been manufacturing all of the internal components for sometime and been test riding the heck out of the stuff, this task was alreadywell proven.

The biggest benefit of taking an integrated approachis that the customer can feel confident of having absolutely thefinest quality engineavailable.

 

Price for complete engine less oil pump $7499.00 (unassembled $5999.00).Price with transmission and primary to follow. We will also offer the enginein short block form without cam parts. Sub assemblies will also beavailable including complete cylinders with valve covers etc, ready to bolt to an engine.

 

The central new part of our engine is of course the engine cases.These cases look outwardly identical to stock cases, but have been improvedconsiderably over stock. Cases are1948-53 style and are available now with matched cam cover for anintroductory price of $999.00.

We are not kidding when we say we test ride the heck out of our stuff.We put serious miles on every part we make before we release it for sale,and the new engine is no exception.

Even if the prototype powertrain has been assembled for some months,we wanted to make absolutely sure everything was perfect before releasingit.

Our slogan says “Quality Parts, Built to Ride” and we stand behind that!

 


Cases come stock to accept 84-inch strokes and are fully CNC machined.

Aluminum is a high end 356-T6. A 65% increase in structural strengthover original cases and that’s before our structural improvements.

Drive housing external boss increased from 2-5/8 to3-1/4-inch.

Drive housing inside boss increased from 2-5/16 to3-1/4-inch.

 

Drive side bearing oiling is aided by a windage trapto ensure a constant supply of oil.

Integral cast in dry sump pick up.

Case walls thickened and baffles have been strengthenedto suit 84-inch strokers.

 

Cam chest wall increased 1/16-inch.

2 sets of baffles to reduce oil splash and mist ontothe breather.

Case to cam cover gasket surface area increased up todouble in critical areas.

Both case and cover are matched and line bored.

Engine to primary mounting flange threaded for a cleanlook (no untidy nuts).

All housing and bushing bores are line bored and canbe enlarged to accept needle bearings.

Crankcase half sealing surface increased upto 75%.

Dowel pins for accurate case half locating. One ofthe benefits was to eliminate the radial locator groove so as to increasecase half sealing surface area.

Breather location can be changed from cam cover toback side of crankcase for a more visual appealing finish.

Front engine mounting bosses are sculptured for a matchedand finished look

Polished case option is available.Patterns were computer recreated utilizing CMM technology. The foundrywe use is one of the top within the aircraft, automotive, motorcycle andracing communities. The machine shop is a major manufacturer to the otherAmerican motorcycle company so fit and finish is a slam dunk deal. Caseand cam cover sealing surface improvements were consulted by James Gasketsand the other American motorcycle company.

SPECIFICATIONS:
42 degree V twin, air cooled.
Bore: 3-1/4″.
Strokes: 4-7/16″ (74-inch), 4-13/16″ (80-inch) and 5-inch (84-inch).
Kiwi forged pistons, three ring design with three piece oil ring.
Kiwi forged 4340, H-beam connecting rods.
Kiwi/Truett and Osborn flywheels.
Flathead design, hardened valve seats, stainless steel valves, hardchromed stems, 2-inch diameter heads.
Gear drive twin cam.
Billet Bonneville cams.
Billet Bonneville cam followers.
Positive Kiwi pinion shaft oil seal.
Black oxide push rod guides.
Chrome valve covers with silicon o-ring seals.
Chrome wide flange cylinder base nuts.
Stainless steel hardware.
James Gaskets.
Cam cover accepts cast iron or aluminum oil pumps.

Price for complete engine less oil pump $7499.00 (unassembled $5999.00).Prices with transmission and primary to follow. We will also offer theengine in short block form without cam parts. Sub assemblies will alsobe available: Complete cylinders with valve covers etc, ready to bolt toan engine.

Visit http://www.kiwi-indian.com for more details.

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Bikernet Interviews John Covington Of Surgical Steeds

John Covington has been in the custom manufactured motorcycle business since Don Bitman started the trend with the Illusion Motorcycle Line. He is a devoted performance minded builder from the Phoenix area. We caught up with him at closing time in a Scottsdale biker joint called the Billet Bar and quizzed him on the condition and future of the custom market.

KRB: What’s your perception of the clone market today? Is it strong? Is it wrong?

First off, don’t piss me off with that tired clone label. I just got the new “Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of American Motorcycles” (Tod Rafferty, Courage Books) and it doesn’t take much research to find out that Mr. Harley and those Davidson bros back in 1903 didn’t come out of the chute with their own engine or anything very unique or proprietary in their first decade of operation. At the turn of the last century, about 25 other contemporary manufacturers were building two-wheeled, motorized transportation using similar technology of the time. Those early motorcycle companies used the same engine and drive train from company to company. Were they all clones?

In our relatively short time as an American manufacturer, Surgical-Steeds has made it into the same encyclopedia, so I guess that’s proof that we definitely have our own identity.

I think some marketing guy at H-D came up with that clone word about 1996, when they obviously felt threatened by a few small companies improving on the status-quo machines that they were pumping out. Let’s give Harley credit for a lot of stuff, but breaking new ground in engineering, performance, reliability, fit and finish is not the reason people buy their bikes. Those marketing guys at H-D have done an excellent job of building a mystique around their brand.

KRB: OK, I give. Clone is a shitty word. It’s condescending. Do you prefer hybrid? What would you call them?

Motorcycles. That’s what I build. If you need to put a name to it, I would prefer alternative American motorcycles, while Surgical-Steeds builds “pedigreed custom motorcycles.” We’ve been in business since ’89 and I got into the business because I love to build custom bikes, and that is what we still do to this day. I plan on doing this for as long as I have fun walking, talking, breathing, dreaming and building motorcycles. I took my company through all the fed’s bullshit to become a legitimate American manufacturer of motorcycles for several reasons. We can call Surgical-Steeds a manufacturer because Steeds took the time and invested the cash to achieve EPA-, DOT- and California CARB-approved certifications of compliance to legitimize our niche in the market. That is why I believe that the pedigree status applies to the Steed brand. Our motorcycles have had federal VIN (vehicle identification numbers) since 1994.

I started building complete frame-up customs back in 1989. We decided to get our federal license because I was tired of being treated like a criminal when I went to the Arizona MVD to title our custom bikes. Donnie Bitman, who started Illusion Motorcycle Co., inspired me to get a federal manufacturers license. I figured if he could get one, Surgical-Steeds should too. About a year later in ’95, there was a handful of companies like Titan, Big Dog, Pure Steel, American Image, American Eagle, Castle, California Customs, et al, that also decided to build and legitimize their “alternative” motorcycle companies and got licensed. I think that each of these companies had a unique and genuine vision of how they could improve an American motorcycle.

KRB: What killed the companies that are going away?

GREED. I think a lot of companies started building bikes for all the wrong reasons. Once you’ve lost the passion for what you’re doing and are only out for the money, you are doomed to fail. Everybody has to make a living; I think that most of the companies that have died were out to make a killing. The whole ’90s rush to do an IPO and make a fortune building thousands of motorcycles was flawed. How custom is a bike if there are more than two that look exactly the same? Why would anyone want to pay thirty-five grand plus to have a bike that is exactly like somebody else’s?

I remember in 1997, during Daytona Bike Week, when everyone was buying a certain trail-blazing brand of American bike. One afternoon, on Highway A1A in front of our booth, two guys pulled up to a stoplight with the exact same white motorcycle with a purple scalloped paint job. Both of these guys thought they had the coolest custom bike on the planet, until they came face to face with the other coolest bike on the planet. How many more just like their `custom’ existed? Right then I decided that there was no other reason except for laziness and greed to manufacture identical bikes. “Volume produced customs” was one of the best oxymorons in the business. Look where it got them.

KRB: What’s the market? Who buys these bikes and why?

People who buy Steed bikes are looking for a unique bike that they intend to ride. Our bikes are all individually designed to be durable and attractive while each has its own curb appeal and personality. We don’t make “jewelry” show bikes. Our bikes appeal to the guy who has done his homework and wants a quality machine that fits his personality and riding style, as well as one that is designed to be physically and ergonomically comfortable and balanced to ride. That’s what a custom bike should be. Not just a few of those qualities, but all of them in one machine. That’s what we offer in our bikes. By becoming a licensed manufacturer of custom bikes, we also offer the consumer the security that we have done our part to maintain the value of the motorcycles we build. No excuses, no compromises.

KRB: People like yourself build bikes because you love it. What happens when you try to standardize your craft or try to make it mass market?

Standardization can lead to quality, but it also brings the risk of being complacent or boring. Certain quality issues may arise by being too custom, and using the latest and greatest parts. Relationships with quality vendors who are in the business for the right reasons are very important. There is a new company springing up selling a new product every week. A lot of these new products are great, but far too many of them have not had the proper amount of R&D and are prematurely placed the market. When you are leading the way with innovative parts, it is very important that you have a confident relationship with your suppliers. I can’t, in good conscience, put someone out on one of our bikes that has parts on it that may not be tested, safe and durable. That level of confidence only comes with good relationships with your suppliers, and that takes time.

Since we are a small volume manufacturer, we can see which components are holding up, which are failing and can make improvements to the components on the run. We don’t need board meetings to make design changes. If it doesn’t work consistently, that part won’t be a component on our motorcycles. We work closely with our suppliers to keep improving all the components on our machines.

KRB: Most of the guys in the clone industry must buy the majority of their components from another source. That means they’re paying an extra margin. How tough is it to build these bikes and make a profit?

Harley-Davidson has tons of suppliers that they source their products from, so does GM and every company that produces anything. I guess the guys who make steel or copper just make it directly from dirt, but all the stuff that it takes to build a Steed motorcycle comes from somewhere. A lot of it we design and test in-house and then have specialists build for us to our specifications, like our Monoglide chassis. Some of the components come from distributors, but as a manufacturer, we’re working closely with the people who directly create the components we select for our machines.

Now the person who is trying to build a bike in his garage has a much bigger challenge ahead for himself if he thinks he’s going to save money by building a bike at home. Too often it is too late for them to turn around after they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into. The prices of quality components really do add up. The level of expertise to build a reliable machine is rarely calculated into the equation, nor is the time it takes to assemble and paint the project. Usually the home scratch-built bikes don’t get finished, or when they do, their owners have difficulty insuring them for what they are worth. I have heard that in some states they are imposing limitations of registering homemade vehicles, and the insurance companies are getting more particular with the special construction titles.

KRB: Where are the most sales? Easyriders stores, bike shop/dealers or what? Do you have a dealer program?

Until this last year, all of our sales were directly through our shop in Scottsdale, Arizona. We’ve decided to take a cautious approach to establishing dealers. This season we have signed up a dealer in Southern California, V-Twin City, which has two stores, one in Pomona and a new location in Santa Ana, to sell our products. We are in negotiations with potential dealers in Colorado, Texas, New Jersey and Florida. This year we would like to sign up 10 authorized Steed dealers to rep our bikes who share the same commitment to quality and customer support that we provide in our Scottsdale store.If there are any dealers sharing these qualities and interested in joining our team, please contact me at dealer@surgicalsteeds.com .

KRB: For the guy on the street, is he better off buying a manufactured custom or would he be better off paying a little more and having a one-off custom built?

At Steeds we offer both of those qualities to the consumer with our pedigreed custom bikes. You asked, so I’ll tell you: He’s better off buying a Steed. That’s my one moment of shameless self-promotion. There’s a reason I organized this company like it is, and I’m glad that you are asking these questions to help spread the word about what a true manufactured custom is all about.

KRB: At one time the average manufactured custom was the full-blown custom on the street or at the shows. Some guys will spend a chunk of their lives hand building a custom in their garage that won’t come out as nice as one of these bikes. On the other hand, it’s forced the truly custom shop to take a giant step forward to be competitive, such as Cyril Huze, Paul Yaffe, Jesse James or Donnie Smith. What has that done to the market?

I don’t think that anyone on your elite list has the federal manufacturing licenses and certificates that we do. We offer personal attention to our customers and we work closely with our clients and dealers to build each Steed with all the features and accessories that are important to them. All of the guys on your list are incredible builders and are very talented and innovative movers and shakers in our chosen profession. The challenge for all of us is to be innovative, consistent, ride-able and to maintain the value for the consumer.

KRB: Does the Twin Cam make manufactured customs passe if they continue to use the Evo platform?

The Twin Cam is the result of Harley-Davidson engineers catching up to the improvements made by the aftermarket and complying with government restrictions on valve train noise. The Twin Cam was basically derived and evolved from the need for Harley to compete with what S&S, Merch, T.P and all the other alternative motor and component companies were doing for many years — building reliable big-inch motors. Now Harley has definitely made the pricing more competitive with its motor program, but when you have the choice, the alternative manufactured drive trains are generally way ahead of the curve. The aftermarket is already offering improvements to upgrade the factory Twin Cam. You do the math.

KRB: What could happen next that would harm this market? In contrast, what could happen that would make it even stronger?

The worst thing that could happen to this market would be to see another manufacturer bite the dust, or see new companies spring up that haven’t done all of their homework and fail when they aren’t managed properly. I feel very strongly that the consumer confidence in the alternative American segment has suffered some enormous blows and a big negative hit with the financial failures of Big-X, Titan, Confederate and Quantum. I hope the other established alternative American companies can weather the storm and keep building quality machines. There are enough people out there who want what we all have to offer for us all to be successful at what we do, and each of these companies cater to a different consumer. That’s what America is all about, choices, and it sucks when our choices are limited by anything.

KRB: What is your perception of the metric cruiser market and its impact on ours?

A totally different guy is going to buy into the metric machine. I think that you are trying to compare apples to oranges. On the other hand, it exposes more people to riding who hopefully will want to trade up into a custom American machine someday.

KRB: Here’s an interesting one: Guys buy these bikes to be macho. At one time, a guy who built his own custom and rode it around the country was macho. He did it himself. He lived or died by his abilities and skills. Now a guy can just buy that machine. Is he macho?

Muy macho, yes indeed. Either way, these guys are on a bike because they want to ride and have the experience. You can appreciate what it takes to build one by doing it yourself, or understand your own limitations and have a professional build it for you. Here’s the whole “land of the free, home of the brave” concept coming into play again. Do you hear a song kicking in?

KRB: The reason I ask that question is that there’s a much smaller audience out there that rides 180 mph sport bikes. They consider cruisers of all forms as lightweights. They are the ones riding on the edge of the curve from a technology standpoint. What do you think?

Technology meets American traditions in our machines. These guys are muy macho in their riding and opinions, and there is plenty of room on the road for all of us as long as the cops aren’t watching.

KRB: I’m a big bore fan. What performance formula do you prefer for reliability in a variety of situations?

I’m riding a 98-inch motor in my personal bike. I like the torque. We also offer 107s and 120s for the guy who wants more. We’re doing a couple of bikes with Patrick Racing 113s that are supposed to be the best of all worlds. Just like blondes, brunettes and redheads, too many versions and not enough time in the day to ride them all.

KRB: What’s your perception of the future for Surgical-Steeds and the industry as a whole? Will we all ride sport bikes to hell?

I think that this will be a year of slow, sustainable growth for Surgical-Steeds. We’re looking for a few good dealers, and I know that they are out there. I think it may take until next spring to see how it washes out with all the other alternative manufacturers. I just hope that the industry as a whole does not suffer too much of a beating in the court of public opinion. When the dust settles, I know that I’ll still be building custom bikes for people who can appreciate them. It’s a pretty cool job to go to every day, and I’m not ready to retire quite yet.

Web site: www.surgicalsteeds.com

Online store at www.musclebikes.com

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Installing the Screamin’ Eagle Induction System

 

My life is usually peaceful. I tweak on the bikes at Bikernet, tweak on my own, drink a little beer and watch television. Ever since Bandit broke up with his last wife, I decided to avoid the pitfalls of life and stick to myself.

This particular day at the Bikernet headquarters was a perfect example of why my selfish decision was justified. Bandit volunteered to install the new Holly carburetor from Screamin’ Eagle on Brenda Fox’s new Deuce. Ms. Fox works at Bartels’ Harley-Davidson in Marina del Rey when she’s not modeling or performing promotional miracles for various companies. I’ve seen Bandit ride with her and there aren’t many people who care to keep up with the big bastard, but Brenda does. Anyway, she’s determined to make this sucker into the sleek chopper she’s always wanted. For those who think only rich cats can afford new H-D’s well, check this: She shares an apartment, pays a lot of doctor bills, has a junk car and is just a working chick in a dealership. This bike is her baby, her life. Sure, she scored a deal, but she’s still a workin’ chick who managed to afford a new scoot.

Now, back to my example of how downright distracting, disturbing and tumultuous Bandit’s life can be. It was slightly overcast in the San Pedro Harbor when Markus Cuff, the photog, rolled in to take these shots. Still early, this long-legged blond storms the gate looking for Bandit. She’s in her early 20s and dressed to kill. She latched on to the boss and pulled him toward the house. We had three operations to handle on Brenda’s bike in a day, plus take notes for each tech and photograph each process. We needed to move.

Marcus was fashioning an all-white miniature studio in the corner of our leaning garage so he could document each product. I began to loosen the Softail shocks, then was told to leave them alone. I got a cup of coffee and kicked back while Marcus shot each product. First there were lower shocks, then the Rip Saw Samson Exhaust system, then the Holly carburetor kit. Before kickin’ off the tear-down, Markus, the scrawny film master dressed in all black, set up his lights and took a before-shot of the bone stock Deuce. The sun was cresting high noon when Bandit stormed into the garage. “Is it done yet?” he asked sarcastically. “We’re burnin’ daylight.” Finally, the shots were taken and we went to work removing the shocks and replacing the exhaust system. But with each delicate task, another woman arrived and drug Bandit into the Bikernet headquarters. There was one striking, dark-haired girl who seemed to glide along the pavement. She was of medium height and didn’t have gigantic boobs, but she had a sense of poise about her which drew my attention and distracted the big guy. I finished with the shocks and was dismantling the exhaust system when Bandit returned. “Snap it up, damnit,” he said.

“Fuck off,” I returned and finished taking off the heavy stock system.

He was with me throughout the exhaust install, then just as we were about to tear into the stock carburetor, Brenda arrived. She’s a bundle of energy, seemingly bounding off the walls. She was on her way to Palm Springs Bike Week when she jammed into the headquarters to lasso Bandit for what I don’t know, and he disappeared again. When he returned, the CV carburetor had been removed along with the stock manifold. We carefully set these components aside and not in the shit can. We would need some of them before the operation was over. The factory instructions call for removing the negative lead to the battery. In this case, it’s not a big deal, but still advisable.

Here’s the disassembly deal:

Remove the stock air cleaner, carburetor and intake manifold. See Photo 1. Remove the stock choke assembly from the stock carb (you’ll need it) and set it aside. See

 

Take the MAP sensor off the original manifold and attach it to the new one.

Install new intake seals to the intake manifold.

Connect the vacuum hose to the fitting on the manifold and the electrical connector to the MAP sensor, if present.

 

Install the intake manifold to the heads, but just finger tight. We quickly discovered that a shortened allen wrench would be beneficial to the operation. So we cut one down for use on the left side of the bike. The other side was best handled with a long allen with a ball end and a small box end wrench for leverage.

 

Disassemble the stock enrichener cable assembly. Remove the enrichener valve, spring, plastic nut, 90 degree elbow, hex nut and star washer from the cable.

 

Pick up the new cable from the kit and install the star washer and hex nut just removed from the existing assembly (I already had this stuff on the new cable). Install the rubber boot over the straight steel cable guide. Install the original plastic nut and spring along with the new enrichener valve.

This is a simple operation, but be careful not to mix up the parts. The rubber elbow seems strange, but when you have the new cable guide in place it will straighten out the boot. It all slips into place.

Slip and screw in the new cable assembly into the back of the carb body.

Install the new gasket. There are two gaskets; match up the one you need and slip the carb into place with the three allen bolts. Don’t tighten them past snug at this point because ultimately the carb will come back off. Use a long allen wrench.

 

Now comes this convoluted plumbing and hardware system. It’s simple once you get the hang of it, so here’s the score: Place a large ID washer over each banjo bolt and slip it through the holes in the mounting bracket, then place a second large ID washer over each banjo blot to seal the plumbing. Place the breather manifold over the banjo bolts with the hose fitting on the manifold toward the rear of the bike. Place the remaining two washers over the breather bolts. On Twin Cam engines, the last washers will have small IDs.

While holding the assembly together, insert the banjo bolts into the tapped holes in the cylinder heads.

Tighten each bolt a little at a time until the assembly is loosely held in place.

 

Take a step back from the carb and marvel at your accomplishment, and wonder if you couldn’t just eliminate all that crap. You can’t, so keep moving.

Find the 90-degree nipple hose fitting and screw into the backside of the air cleaner backing plate. Be careful not to over tighten. The hose fitting should be pointing toward the back of the motorcycle after installation. If it’s loose when you get to that position or too tight to make another revolution, take it out and wrap it with Teflon tape.

Install the backing plate gasket to the front of the carburetor using three studs. Align the backing plate to the bracket by installing the two flat head screws to the mounting bracket. Again, don’t tighten that sucker. You are actually aligning the entire assembly before tightening it all down. Ultimately, the carb body will have to be removed to allow you to tighten the intake manifold.

 

Finger tighten the banjo bolts (installed into the heads) to align the carburetor back plate and intake manifold.

Making sure everything is aligned, tighten the left side of the intake manifold bolts to secure the manifold in position.

Now the dress rehearsal is over. Remove the backing plate, mounting bracket, manifold breather tube and carburetor assembly, then tighten the right-side intake manifold bolts.

 

There is one more operation before bolting the sucker entirely back together. It may sound easy, but this was the toughest part for me. You have to route and connect the throttle cables to the carburetor throttle wheel. The trick is to make sure you have the right cable going to the correct side of the wheel. Remember the push/pull system, so operate the throttle on the handlebars to determine whether you are working with the proper cable. You will need to loosen the adjustment under the throttle housing on the bars for some slack. I had a hard time routing the pull cable end into the wheel. You need to open the butterfly to make this happen. The push cable fits easily.

Find the cable bracket and insert the cables. Then roll the pointed end of the bracket onto the top of the carb body and into place. Install the bracket onto the carb body and torque the allen screw to 3-5 foot pounds.

Now smear grease on either side of the carb gasket for a secure seal. Install the carb with the three allen bolts and tighten to 10-12 ft-lbs.

Readjust the throttle cables to factory specs. I may have caused the pull cable to bind under the tank, so be careful that the cables don’t catch. Check the throttle to make sure it’s operating properly. Look down the throat and make sure the carb butterflies are opening and closing, not sticking or binding.

Install the fuel line. You may want to take the protective sleeve off the old line and use it on the new one. Secure each end with a 3/8-inch hose clamp.

On either side of the carb body is a mid-range adjustment screw. Turn it in until it bottoms and back it out slowly two turns. It should be adjusted to go.

Loctite the banjo bolts and put them into place with the manifold breather tube, bracket and bolt assembly to the cylinder heads.

Reinstall the carb-to-backing plate gasket and backing plate to carburetor and mounting bracket using two flat-head screws and three 1/4 studs. Tighten all five fasteners 3-5 ft-lbs. You don’t need to seal this gasket with grease or any adhesive.

Tighten the manifold breather tube banjo bolts to 10-12 ft-lbs.

Attach the short end of the manifold breather hose to the 90-degree fitting on the backside of the backing plate and secure with 3/8-inch hose clamp.

Cut the long end of the manifold breather hose to correct length, connect it to the manifold breather and secure with clamp.

Install the air filter to the backing plate and secure with three Button-head screws. Tighten to 3-5 ft. lbs.

Apply Loctite (blue) to the threads of the cover screw removed from the original air cleaner and install cover using screw and washer.

 

Secure the choke knob, tighten and adjust to factory specs.

 

We cleaned the bike and made sure the pipes were free of fingerprints. Then we fired her to life. The fleet center guys told us that we could see gains of 60 to 72 horses and 70 to 82 pounds of torque. We called Walter from Bartels’, who watches out for Brenda. Bandit asked him to check over the installation and remove the EPA canister, which was no longer needed, to clean up the plumbing on the bike.

 

The bike seemed to run fine out of the gate. If you do have a problem, the idle mixture screws on the sides of the metering block can be adjusted. The correct adjustment should fall between half and three turns out from bottom. If it doesn’t perform well there, you may need a new slow jet. The main metering jets can also be swapped from the standard #58 to #62 to richen the mixture. So that’s the story. It wasn’t until we were taking the final shot that Bandit returned to the garage. He seemed drawn and tired, his hair a mess. Brenda slapped him on his ass and dashed out the gate. He looked over the bike and nodded a quiet approval, then pulled a pewter flask from his back pocket and downed a healthy swig. He sat hard on the shop stool and took a deep breath. “Helluva day men,” he said. “Nice work. I’m buying tacos and tequila for dinner.” Just then, a tall Oriental bombshell in short shorts stepped into the garage. Her plump tits tried to escape her top as she tapped Bandit on the shoulder. “I need to see you inside,” she said in a voice that would melt chrome off the new Samson exhaust system.

Out of nowhere, Bandit seemed to snap out of his earlier doldrums. “You guys go to the harbor and order for me. I’ll be right down,” he said as he turned and followed the legs that have made good men bad, and pure men, sin. That’s the last we saw of him.

–Wrench

Back to theGarage….
 

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May 19, 2002

NCOM COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS

Compiled and Edited by Bill Bish, National Coalition of Motorcyclists

NCOM CONVENTION…A TESTAMENT TO UNITY

Tensions were running high within the motorcycle community in the waning weeks prior tothe 17th annual NCOM Convention, May 9-11, but despite the cancellations orover-patrolling of numerous biker events around the country in the wake of recentbloodshed, patch holders and motorcycle rights activists descended on the Radisson Hotelin New Orleans in near-record numbers for a weekend of learning, sharing, networking andunity.

seminar

“This shit has got to stop,” exclaimed one Confederation of Clubs chairman about theoutbreak of violence, drawing a standing ovation from the crowded Patch Holders Meeting.

patch

J.W. Rock of the Bandidos M/C and chairman of the Confederation of Clubs of Central Texasread a prepared statement during the meeting:

“We the Confederations of Clubs, now organized for patch holders in 39 States and twoCanadian Provinces, do hereby reaffirm our support for the principles of NCOM and themotorcyclists’ rights movement. As members of the National Coalition of Motorcyclists,the many autonomous Confederations of Clubs support NCOM’s efforts to have allmotorcyclists become more involved in our government, more active in the preservation ofour Liberties, and more dedicated to the Unity of all motorcycle organizations.”

Although law enforcement was abundant, it was not oppressive, and the only violencereported was about 10,000 crawdads that got their tails shucked and their heads sucked ina local park at the Freedom Fighters’ Crawfish Boil hosted by ABATE of Louisiana onFriday night.

Many problems are solved and friendships forged during the social activities at the NCOMConvention, but the weekend is structured around Seminars such as Computer Privacy & theInternet, Women in Motorcycling, Is Your Bike Headed to the Scrap Heap?, and theever-popular Mock Legislative Session; and Meetings like the NCOM Board of DirectorsMeeting, the NCOM Legislative Task Force Meeting, the A.I.M. Attorneys Conference andother Regional and special interest meetings; where centuries of combined knowledge arefreely accessible.

at table

This year’s Convention was dedicated to the memory of Bruce Johnson, long time lobbyistfor ABATE of Pennsylvania, who died of cancer earlier this year. In a moving tribute toBrothers & Sisters Lost, “Doc” Reichenbach, Chairman of the NCOM Board and President ofABATE of Florida, Inc., read a list of names of recently deceased Freedom Fighterssubmitted by motorcycle clubs and organizations for this special dedication. ABATE ofFlorida donated a brass bell to NCOM which was rung once for each name on the 18-pagelist, which took eight minutes to read.

But that somber note aside, the Convention seminars were thought-provoking, the meetingsstimulating and the enthusiasm electrifying!

guys

The Silver Spoke Awards Banquet topped off the weekend’s festivities by honoring thoseamongst us who have distinguished themselves within the motorcycling community. Thisyear’s honorees were:

West Virginia State Delegate Greg Butcher – Government; Ohio A.I.M.Attorney Ralph C. Buss – Legal;

John Paliwoda, Director of the California MotorcycleDealers’ Association – Commerce;

Keith Ball, former editor of Easyriders and founder ofBikerNet.com – Media;

Special Awards were presented to “Gunny,” Oregon A.I.M. Chiefof Staff;

Curtis Clements of the Christian Motorcycle Association;

And posthumously toJohn Randolph, A.I.M. Chief of Staff with the Law Offices of Richard M. Lester.

The Ron Roloff Lifetime Achievement Award was awarded to Bill Bish, former NCOM ExecutiveDirector,

Fred Hill International Award was given to Lloyd “Animal” Rector,founder of the Organization of Responsible Bikers of Nova Scotia.

group shot

The local Louisiana newspaper, the Times-Picayune, wrapped up the weekend under theheadline, “Convention Puts Police on Alert – But Bikers In New Orleans to Learn TheirRights,” and had this to say about the conference; “While police and federal authoritiesstepped up patrols for a gathering of motorcyclists in New Orleans this weekend, thebikers themselves spent much of their time attending workshops such as ‘How a BillBecomes Law.’ Legal talk was in high gear at the convention, where seminars included’The New Terrorists Laws and Their Effect on Your Group’ and ‘How to Form a PoliticalAction Committee.’…By late Saturday, authorities said the weekend was runningsmoothly.”

Next year’s NCOM Convention will be held May 8-10, 2003, at the Four Points Sheraton inMilwaukee, Wisconsin. Call the NCOM office at (800) 525-5355 for further details.

“JAPANESE BAN BIKER GANGS” screamed the headline in the May 4th issue of The DailyTelegraph, which went on to report that the larger Japanese cities are passing laws tooutlaw motorcycle “gang” membership, even to the extent of calling for jail time formotorcyclists who wear clothes identifying “biker gang membership.” Read on for thecomplete story, by Colin Joyce in Tokyo…

Japan is cracking down on biker gangs in the latest sign of growing national impatiencewith youth crime.

Some of the country’s biggest cities have introduced laws allowing officials to ban bikergatherings or face fines but Hiroshima has now taken the extraordinary step ofintroducing jail sentences of up to six months on gang members “spreading fear” in thecity.

Hiroshima Mayor Tadatoshi Akiba hit the streets Saturday night to tell biker gangs whythe city has outlawed them.

Akiba visits biker gangs in parks and entertainment districts throughout the “Peace City”to talk to bikers about a Hiroshima ordinance that targets them.

“I want you to realize that you?re causing problems for everybody,” Akiba said to onebiker, explaining that it is already illegal to wear clothes identifying biker gangmembership in the city.

Hiroshima outlawed biker gangs and biker gang membership in an ordinance that came intoeffect on April 1 following violent clashes between motorcycle enthusiasts and police inrecent years. Punishments for those who violate the ordinance will not be handed outuntil May. Offenders of the draconian ordinance – simply wearing the uniform of amotorcycle gang is illegal – face a prison sentence of up to six months or maximum fineof 100,000 yen.

Bosozoku, or “violent running tribes” as the gangs are called in Japanese, are a havenfor disaffected young men. They are a common sight in Japan, ignoring red lights as theyroar through cities or blocking major roads by driving very slowly en masse.

Their powerful bikes are adapted to make the maximum amount of noise. Anyone protestingis likely to have his vehicle attacked with baseball bats or be assaulted himself.

The bosozoku, perhaps best known outside Japan from the famous animated film Akira, werebelieved to be dying out in the early 1990s. Japanese tended to view them as little morethan a noisy nuisance and gangs were allowed to run regularly along the same routesunchallenged by police.

However, tolerance has worn thin in recent years as a result of a series of violentcrimes involving the gangs.In Tokyo last year a teenager was beaten to death after being mistaken for a member of arival gang. In Nagano, central Japan, eight gang members were imprisoned last week forabducting and battering a rival to death.

Lepera Banner

BIKERS “DOWN UNDER” FACE BANS ON CLUBHOUSES

Australia is bracing to prohibit bikerclubhouses in suburbs under a State Government plan to insert a “character clause” inplanning laws, says Political Reporter Susie O’Brien in the April 23 issue of “TheAdvertiser”:

The bikie gang laws – an Australian first – would empower councils to refuse bikie clubspermission to build headquarters in suburban areas, Attorney-General Michael Atkinsonsaid yesterday.

Under the legislation, any outlaw gang involved in illegal activities would come under alegal definition of bad character.

A special clause banning building approval to those of bad character would enablecouncils to reject applications. Councils at present must accept all valid buildingapplications, irrespective of the applicants’ character.

At least four bikie gang clubrooms have been established in Adelaide. “Under planninglaws we can’t make a distinction between social clubs or outlaw bikie fortresses,” Mr.Atkinson said.

“We want to take into account the fact they are bikie gangs operating outside the law,”he said. “The laws will allow us to demolish headquarters erected unlawfully.”

The new laws will be introduced this year, but will not apply retrospectively.

Monash University criminologist Arthur Veno said a more collaborative approach wasrequired between police and gangs rather than more laws.

John Bennett, president of the Australian Civil Liberties Union, said any character-basedlaws would be discriminatory unless they applied to all people, not just bikie gangs.

DIVERSE GROUP DECRIES “SPY FILES” KEPT BY POLICE “Political activists, bikers andmasked demonstrators converged outside the state Capitol on Sunday to protest the DenverPolice Department’s collection of secret intelligence files on more than 3,400protesters,” wrote Nick Groke in a Special Report to The Denver Post on Monday, April 22,2002.

The rally, organized by the Tyranny Response Team, a pro gun-rights group, drew about 100participants, including members of the Colorado Libertarian Party, the Colorado GreenParty and several local motorcycle clubs.

“The whole idea behind the files is to intimidate,” said Robert Teesdale of the TyrannyResponse Team. “This issue affects all of us the same way.”

Denver police are allowed under law to keep intelligence files on groups and peopleinvolved in violent crime or property destruction, but they also have been maintainingdocuments on peaceful protesters.

“This isn’t a resurgence of what they did in the ’60s and ’70s – it’s a continuation,”said Latino activist Ernesto Vigil of the police files. “They never stopped.”

The American Civil Liberties Union filed suit last month against the Police Departmentover the so-called secret spy files. The ACLU is seeking access to the files for peoplewhose names are in the documents. They also want the files destroyed.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure even a successful lawsuit will solve the problem,” saidRalph Shnelvar, who spoke at the rally.

Organizers sent invitations to more than 40 local activist groups to attend the rally. Many of the motorcycle club members left after organizers warned them that two policeofficers were writing down the license plate numbers of nearby motorcycles.

“I support the Denver Police Department, but we know we’ve been targets, and it’s juststupid,” said Bill Jones, a member of a local motorcycle club.

MISSOURI BIKERS DEMAND RETURN OF PROPERTY>– A.I.M. Attorneys around the country not onlyprovide legal assistance to injured motorcyclists, but they also contribute “pro bono”legal work for the motorcycle community, and often serve as Legal Counsel for their localMotorcycle Rights Organization and for all the Confederations of Clubs. Missouri A.I.M.attorney Jeffrey Lang recently represented two motorcycle clubs in lawsuits against lawenforcement to return property seized in a raid on their clubhouse.

The Jackson County Drug Enforcement Task Force executed two search warrants. The firstwas at the club house shared by the Galloping Goose MC and El Forastero MC. While nodrugs, drug precursors, drug making apparatus or paraphernalia was located, the TaskForce assisted by the FBI and ATF confiscated club property including, but not limitedto, club pictures, plaques, flags, anything with the club colors or 1% information on it,antique slot machines and the clubs’ minute books.

Another search warrant was executed at the residence of a Galloping Goose club member. While no drugs or drug making apparatus was found, various personal items of the memberwas confiscated including but not limited to, pictures, club jackets, motorcycle partsand other pictures or clothing containing club colors or 1% information.

The club and member fought for years trying to regain possession of their property. About a year ago, out of frustration, they asked if Missouri A.I.M. attorney Jeff Langcould do anything to help. Jeff filed two lawsuits against the Task Force. One in thename of the two clubs and the other in the name of the member.

“Both suits sounded in Tort and asserted causes of action in Replevin,” explains Jeff inlegalese. “Later, after additional discovery, both Petitions were amended to include acount for Conversion, which, in addition to actual damages prayed for punitive damages.”

Early in the litigation, the Task Force returned most of the member’s property.

“We were able to serve the Task Force detective who was in charge of executing bothsearch warrants, with a subpoena duces tecum to appear for his deposition. Just prior tothe taking of his deposition, the Task Force agreed to return the bulk of property takenfrom the club house of the Gooses and El Forasteros,” according to attorney Lang.

“We proceeded with the deposition of the detective to determine the reliability of theConfidential Informants who provided information for the search warrants and any otherfacts the detective relied upon in requesting the search warrant,” Lang said.

“As of yet, we do not have a trial date, but my clients are ecstatic to get theirproperty back. There are still issues to resolve regarding firearms, ammunition and theslot machines that are still being held.”

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”Helen Keller

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May 16, 2002 Part 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH ? INTERESTING TIMES ROCK BIKER NATION

Continued From Page 3

Harley Davidson Banner

HARLEY-DAVIDSON 100TH ANNIVERSARY OPEN ROAD TOUR IS A TREAT FOR EVERY SENSE: SIGHT, SOUND AND THE SENSE-SATIONAL–

One Hundred Years of Fun and Excitement Roars Across the Country.

It was a hundred years in the making and we’ll never see anything like it in our lifetime again. It’s huge (more than 25 acres), it’s truly an entertainment extravaganza (more than 12 bands on two stages) and it has something for everyone.

On the weekend of July 20-21, at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, Harley-Davidson Motor Company will officially kick-start its 100th Anniversary with the Open Road Tour: a series of gigantic weekend festivals roaring into 10 cities worldwide celebrating motorcycles, music, history and more. Once the Open Road Tour rolls to a stop in the Summer of 2003, enthusiasts can join the Ride Home, organized rides throughout North America heading to Milwaukee, for three days of celebrations and special events. The official birthday party will take place in Milwaukee on August 31, 2003 and launch Harley-Davidson into the next 100 years.

For the complete report see Special Reports on Bikernet.

chocking

BIKERNET NEW PRODUCTS–The sweatshirt was actually a gift from Helen Wolfe. The goddamn thing was so comfortable we decided to produce and sell them on the site. Check it out in the Bikernet Originals Area.

The shorts are perfect for the summer, light and comfortable. They’re available in the Crime Inc. area. Don’t miss ’em.

shorts

OFFICIAL VAGOS MC PRESS RELEASE–In response to the many news media reports linking the Vagos MotorcycleClub to the incident that occurred in Harrah’s Casino in Laughlin,Nevada, and to claims it is joining in a gang war with other motorcycleclubs, the Vagos M/C wishes to submit the following statement:

As a result of events that occurred at Harrah’s Casino in Laughlin,Nevada, during the River Run on April 26 – 28, 2002, allegedly involvingmembers of the Hells Angels and Mongols motorcycle clubs, there havebeen numerous statements published in the press attributing claims tolaw enforcement agencies that the Vagos Motorcycle Club is part of analliance formed by the Mongols and other motorcycle clubs to sideagainst the Hells Angels. If there are sides to be taken in any allegeddispute between the Mongols and Hells Angels (and the Vagos M/C does notmean to imply by this statement that any dispute exists), the VagosMotorcycle Club is not taking any side and emphatically denies being aparty to any coalition or agreement with any motorcycle organization(s)against the Hells Angels or any other motorcycle club. The VagosMotorcycle Club is an independent organization and is not affiliatedwith or a part of any alliances with any other clubs.

The Vagos M/C did not know about and was not involved in the events thattranspired in Laughlin during the River Run. Members of the Vagos M/Cwere not even in Laughlin that weekend, but were in Jean, Nevada, nearLas Vegas, approximately 80 miles away. Without intending to placeblame for the incident, the Vagos M/C feels it was tragic enough,without law enforcement agencies and so-called “motorcycle gang experts”embellishing or fabricating facts to release to the news media for thepurpose of angering or scaring the public.

For the full report see Bikernet Special Reports.

BIKERNET ENVIRONMENTAL SURVEY–A lady from California purchased a piece of timberland in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and gotmany splinters in her private parts.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened toher story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry lady demanded, “What took you so long?”

The unperturbed doctor replied, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau ofLand Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.”

–Emma

2002 Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride Across America Set to Take Northern Route–Sprint returns as presenting partner of this year’s event.

The 2002 Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride Across America featuring NASCAR celebrities, sponsors and fans will kick off on June 23, following the Winston Cup event at Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma, Calif. This year the riders will break with tradition and head northeast making stops in Jackpot, Nev.; Jackson Hole and Cheyenne, Wyo.; Omaha, Neb.; Chicago, Ill.; Cleveland, Ohio and Hot Springs, Va. The ride will conclude at the Petty Farm in Trinity, North Carolina on June 30.

“I can’t believe how much the ride has grown over the past seven years,” said Petty. “When we first started this event in 1995, it was just a few of us on our bikes. Last year 250 riders participated and we were able to raise $500,000 for various charities. This year we’re planning to take the Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride farther north than we’ve gone in the past. It will be a great opportunity to reach hospitalized children in cities beginning in California, with visits in Chicago and North Carolina along the way.”

In addition, Coca-Cola, Victory Motorcycles, High Tech Performance Trailers Inc., Daytona Harley-Davidson and others will join this year’s ride as corporate partners.

“Its great to have partners like Sprint, Victory, Coca-Cola and Daytona Harley-Davidson,” said Petty. “They truly understand the meaning of giving back to the community, and they realize how important it is to put a smile on a child’s face. It will be great to have them along for the ride again this year.”

The 2002 event marks the eighth year that Petty, father Richard, wife Pattie and other friends in and out of the racing community will take to the open road to visit children’s hospitals. Since its formation in 1995, the ride has raised approximately $2.5 million dollars for children’s hospitals, the Winston Cup Wives Racing Auxiliary Trust, the STARBRIGHT Foundation and the Victory Junction Gang Camp. The national charity of the 2002 Sprint/Kyle Petty Charity Ride is the Victory Junction Gang Camp. Kyle and Pattie Petty founded the camp in 2000 in honor of their son Adam.

The racing-themed camp is a planned extension of the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp founded by Paul Newman. The camp’s purpose is to enrich the lives of children with chronic or life-threatening illnesses.

For more information on making contributions to the Kyle Petty Charity Ride and many other programs that it supports, contact Kyle Petty Charity Ride, Inc. at 5700 Concord Parkway South, Concord, NC, 28027, by email at info@kylepettycharityride.org or by phone 704-455-9299.

BIKERNET MARRIAGE COUNSELING–“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as hestepped out of the shower, “honey, what do you thinkthe neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

Samson Truck

SAMSON SEEKS RIG RIDER–The president of Samson Exhaust and the chairman of the board, Mr. Samson, himself called and told us in no uncertain terms to supply him with a new big rig driver for their brand new, high dollar, luxury (from chromed exhaust pipes) Samson Rig. You’ll have to attend every major motorcycle event in the country. I know, it’s tough duty, just report in goddamnit and make it snappy. Drop me a resume and I’ll pass it on, if it’s worth a shit: Bandit@bikernet.com.

Samson

BIKERNET INVESTIGATES BIKE MAGAZINES– There’s a lot of talk on the streets about various bike magazines, but when push comes to shove, there’s a source that audits magazine circulation–ABC, the Audit Bureau of Circulation. While speaking to an industry insider, we discovered that Hot Bike and HORSE are neck and neck in the circulation game and Hot Rod Bikes is head and shoulders above both. Rumor has it that since Hot Rod Bikes was purchased by the Hot Bike Publisher that they may kill the Hot Rod to take out a competitor of Hot Bike and hope that their circulation grows. It’s been about the same for the last decade. We’ll see what happens next.

Lepera Banner

Frank Kaisler the ex-editor of Hot Rod bikes is working with several magazines including HORSE and Bikernet to bring his 30 years of technical expertise to the community. He is currently working on an article about one of the premier seat makers in the industry Le Pera for Bikernet. Watch for it.

NEW BIKERNET STICKERS–We recently took shipment of a 50-gallon drum full of a new batch of our famous Jon Towle – Bikernet stickers in various colors. No, that’s not me on the goddamn sticker. Now get this. We’ll send you a free sticker the color of your choice: Traditional red to orange flame, vibrant yellow to pink flame, or blue to purple flame. Just send us a self addressed stamped envelope to Bikernet, P.O.Box 1168, San Pedro, CA 90733, and we’ll send you the sticker of your choice for absolutely nothin, free, cheapo. The stickers are cool. First come, first served, until there ain’t no mo’.

stickers

GRAB THE KEYS AND HIT THE ROAD–People have asked why we don’t cover the club disputes more with every bullshit report that comes from a paper. They call themselves journalists who play by the rules, yet they are as slanted as a midnight drunk in a downtown bar. I was recently interviewed by 20/20 and the reporter said that they seek the truth. As he said it you could see the ultimate desire to draw scandalous bullshit out of me at any cost glisten in the saliva forming in the corners of his mouth.

I found out in New Orleans this weekend that the motorcyclists rights movement are the strongest grassroots freedom fighters in the country. We’re stronger than the NRA and more respected by legislators. So who are the enemies? It looks as though the real bad guys are the authorities, the straight media and car people who still believe that running a biker down is cool. Well bullshit, and we have people working with every capital in the country to maintain our freedoms and stand tall for us. We need to support their daily efforts.

Yep, it’s interesting times. Let’s ride while we still can.–Bandit

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May 16, 2002 Part 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH ? INTERESTING TIMES ROCK BIKER NATION

Continued From Page 2

BIKERNET POLITICAL HISTORY–What’s the Cuban national anthem?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

BIKERNET BIKERS RIGHTS REPORT–We are hoping to bring you more local, national and international bikers rights information in the future. You’ll discover that this is the last movement for freedom in the country and the only reason we can still ride free. Here’s a bit from South Carolina:

I manage ABATE of South Carolina’s web site and another called FastFred’s Motorcycle E-zine… both focus on Motorcycle rights… the E-zine is also an attempt to be fun to view like a biker rag.

I have an email list too that may be joined… the number of mailings vary form one per day to a couple per week: most issues are South Carolina biker related but some are national. http://www.abatesc.com/mail-list/join-list.htm.

–FastFred, fred@fastfreds.com

cyril flow pipes

CYRIL HUZE FLOW PIPES–A custom exhaust is a radical way to change the look of your bike. Cyril Huze Flow Pipes will give flowing lines to your motorcycle and make it look fast even when standing still. Made out of 304 mild steel, these awesome pipes are CNC mandrel bent from 1.75″ tubing (wall thickness is 0.065″). Available for Evo & Twin Cam models. They attach the transmission side cover (bracket included). Tuned to perform. Beautifully chrome plated.

Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923

Website: http://www.cyrilhuze.com

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–As you read this we will already be in Myrtle Beach, it’s our first timethere so we will be in recon mission, Crazy Horse will join us later in theweek for some in depth reporting for The Horse, and of course, here inBikernet.

Whatever happens we will try to report as soon as possible. Wehad plans to go visit Choppers Inc, but seems like time won’t be on ourside, maybe later on before we head for the Black Hills, so we expect a 6hour trip or so up to South Carolina and as reports are showing the rallyis already a bit crowded, maybe a bit much, but hell ! We will see.

sonny barger

Thanks to those who are sending messages thru Your Shot, we will try toanswer all of them, and do our best.I just read the new Sonny Barger book last night, it’s a pretty quick readbut with some interesting and funny stories, it?s definitely one to buy,although I found some of the stories left you wanting to know more, maybehe left some stuff for the next one (like my story)

I know Bandit is reading it and will report on it so we might compare noteslater on.

Caribbean Bike

For those who asked about my bike here are some specs:

Bourget’s Python frame, 51 degree rake, 10 inches over in downtubes, 7″overin backbone.

S&S cases and internals with STD dual plug stage 4 heads, 96 inches, pantops and shovel cases (built by me).

STD 5 spd trans with andrews close ratio, backcut gears and Primo openprimary.

52 inch Spyke inverted front end, PM 6 piston front and dual 4 pistoncalipers rear, 21 and 17 by 200 wheels and tires.

SU carb, shotgun pipes, hydraulic clutch and the seat is only 18″from theground thanks to the patented BBW oil in the frame.And some other stuff…….

Have a good week , see ya when we get back……

–Jose, Caribbean (in Myrtle Beach) Bikernet report.

PARTS DIRECT–Rumor has it this group has the best prices on the web. Check it out and let me know.

BIKERNET UPDATE ON MILWAUKEE EVENT–Veteran’s Park is on the lakefront in Milwaukee and a HUGE place for eventsand get-togethers of all sorts. If they’re having it there they expectseveral thousand people to show up.

It’s the first-annual four-day free-admission all bike national motorcyclerally starting Thursday June 6th. They’re planning a bike show/contest, atattoo contest, a Harley fashion show, a rally beauty pageant, and a fewHarley-sponsored expos. I’m sure there will be a huge HOG turnout and I’mjust as sure it’ll be a fairly tame four days.

They have some pretty good sounding talent lined up. Thursday evening isMountain, Friday night is Foghat, Saturday they have Little Feat playing,and all through those afternoons and on Sunday they have various localtalent on stage.

— “The Professor”
www.milwaukeerally.com

BIKERNET RUN FOR BREATH ACCOUNT–Here’s a brief note about a kid’s charity event sponsored by Bikernet and Harley-Davidson of Charlotte. The one-day ride and event is scheduled for July 28th in Charlotte, North Carolina.

“Mike wanted me to send you an e-mail to update you on this year’s Run For Breath. Everything is falling into place. We have a small group of dedicated volunteers who are working hard to organize the run. We have over 40 sponsors this year, the most ever. I’m sure we will surpass last year’s donation to the American Lung Association of $8,000.”

“We’re looking forward to seeing you!”For more information on the one-day Charity Ride for the American Lung Association in Charlotte, N.C., and Edge?s weekend party nearby, stay tuned. We?ll have weekly reports.

Mike Pullin proudly announces:
4th ANNUAL RUN FOR
BREATH

In Memory of his son Justin
Sunday, July 28, 2002

Poker Run Registration — 10 a.m. ? 1 p.m.
Ben?s V-Twins
2429 South Tryon St.
$10 per hand; three hands for $20

POKER RUN—————————————————-T-SHIRTS
BIKE SHOW—————-BIKER GAMES—————LIVE MUSIC
DOOR PRIZES————–VENDORS—————FOOD & DRINKS

SPECIAL GUEST STAR ? Keith ?Bandit? Ball
President, bikernet.com

Bike Show Registration ? 11 a.m. ? 2:30 p.m.
Carolina Country Barbecue
2522 Sardis Road North
$10 Per Bike

Pre-Run Party July 27
RJ?s Sports Bar & Grill
2500 Crown Point Executive Dr., Charlotte
8 p.m.
$10 donation

DON?T MISS THE BIGGEST MOTORCYCLE EVENT
IN THE CAROLINAS!

ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT:
Camp Air Care – American Lung Association of NC
This camp is for children with asthma. Justin Pullin lost his life from an
acute asthma attack in 1998 at the age of 16.

For more information call Mike Pullin at (704) 847-4647 or (704) 573-9396

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNERS FOR APRIL–Bikernet bike show is a free, enter your own bike Web only bike monthly bike show. Check it out and enter your bike.

In The “Buell” Category
“BigMatt” Holt
Dearborn Heights , MI

In The “Competition” Category
Bean
Hartsville , Tenn

In The “Factory Custom” Category
Elliot Forseter
Chesterfield , MO

In The “Open Class” Category
Charlie Guss
Prudenville , MI

In The “Pro-Street” Category
Karl Bartling
Cape Coral , FL

In The “Radical Custom” Category
Felix (Bud) Saucedo Jr.
Lytle , Texas

In The “Rat” Category
Pettie Wheatstraw
Hartsville , TennIn The “Ridden” Categoryhacksawhamden , ct

In The “Sportster” Category
Mike Mattessich
Baldwinsville , NY

In The “Street Custom-Stock” Category
Evo
Lewisville , Texas

In The “Vintage” Category
Carl Best
Eugene , OR

In The “Vintage Chopper” Category
Tom
Selkirk , NY

2001 Custom Pro Street Motorcycle
New ? Registered ? Clean Title ? 500 Trouble Free Miles
Built By Rogue Using Top Of The Line Parts

This Motorcycle has Style and Class with Performance and Reliability built in.

left side bike

The Engine is a Single Cam Evolution, Built by Accurate Engineering and comes with a 12 Month/12,000 Mile Warranty. It has Wiseco pistons 10.1:1 Compression, Andrews EV47 cam, S&S carb, Dyna 2000I single fire ignition and is black wrinkle with polished fins, chrome rocker boxes and nose cone.

The Transmission is a black and chrome 5 speed from Custom Chrome and covered under their warranty.

The black powder coated Kraftech, FXR, rubber mount Pro Street Frame sports a stainless steel oil tank and lines, chrome swingarm with chrome adjustable shocks. Front End is American Suspension Inverted with Billet Triple Trees, Halogen headlight, 16? 3 spoke mag wheel with Avon Venom X MT90B16 tire. The rear wheel is 16? 3 spoke mag wheel with Avon Venom X 160/80/16 tire.

Stainless Steel Rotors front and rear with Billet Calipers and Stainless Steel lines. Stretched Fat Bob gas tanks with Aircraft Type locking gas caps and Accel Hi-Flow petcock, full length fenders, custom paint and Aurora taillight.

Polished inner and outer primary covers with automatic chain adjuster, Rivera Pro-Street clutch and chrome Hi-Torque Starter. Wiring harness and controller by Thunder Heart with protected circuits and weatherproof connectors.

High End custom seat, chrome forward and handlebar controls,Stainless Steel hardware and much more.

right side
Be the Proud Owner of this Fine Motorcycle for only $19,995.00. Phone 321-725-3816 or e-mail rogue@bikerrogue.com.

HOLLISTER REQUEST–We would like to bring the very best most complete information to our readers regarding the upcoming Holister event. If you know something, send it on down.

Continued On Page 4

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May 16, 2002 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH ? INTERESTING TIMES ROCK BIKER NATION

Continued From Page 1

BIKERNET/CCI PROJECT BIKE FOR NUTTBOY–Turn to the side and cough.

We threw the potentially radical chopper that Bandit and I have banged together up to this point, into the back of my pickup and jammed over to see the Doctor. Dr. John, the frame specialist took one look at the bike in the back of my truck and shook his head. Behind that scraggly beard and those beady blue eyes there is a wealth of experience. He’s seen a lot of biker hopes and dreams, sometimes nightmares, come through his Anaheim Hills shop. He’s managed to salvage most of them.

For more on the project see the garage or the Custom Chrome department.

Custom Chrome Banner

MAXIM ON ALCOHOL–The mag for boys the pointed out how ridiculous it is to have “Proof” double what the actual alcohol percentage of a drink is. How’s that for lame? If your booze is 25 percent alcohol, then it’s 50 Proof.

It seems that back in the 18th century when moonshine making was state-of-the-art booze bakin’ they had to figure out a measuring system. They had no way of knowin’. To test it, they mixed gunpowder with an equal amount of that powerful liquid, the color of clear water, then struck a match to it. If it exploded, it was proof that the shit was a puissant mixture. Ultimately scientist discovered that if it popped that it had at least 50 percent alcohol which became known as 100 proof. According to their connection at the Jack Daniel’s factory, “This all happened out in the woods.”

BIKERNET DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE– Attention Southern CA Riders – Mark your calendar for May 25th… Be at the Anaheim Convention Center from 4PM-11PM to help the SRA with an all-new Sportbike Challenge Bike Show. Enter your bike or just come to see some of the best sportbikes. Awards will be given to best in show. See the SRA site for details and free passes!! Don’t miss this show… In addition to the bikes, there will be an Import Car contest and of course there will be the Super-Models.

What about the rest of the country… stay tuned… the SRA is planning to travel with this show across the country. We will keep you posted.

We released some fun and games at SportbikeS.com. Stop by and see how well you can do!

four carbs

You said you could adjust a carb?

freedom film chop

So what’s the problem officer?

freedom film girl

When they said she was hot, they weren’t kidding.

BIKERNET FREEDOM FILM EXPLODES–with new images. If you want to see images from home or across the country the Freedom Film area is the place to go. From wild bikes to untamed women, it’s the joint to check out. Besides you can submit shots whenever you choose.

BIKERNET BIKE SHOW WINNER–Hey! Got a trophy and your book in the mail last night! Thanks, man!Started reading the book… I see a screenplay in there somewhere… Hey Iwant to pick your brain (or if you could direct me to other unbiased brainsto pick) about a motor choice.-Pete

Pete is looking for recommendations for engine choices: S&S, TP, RevTech, Merch. Let’s take a poll. Let me know what you’re running and how you like it?–Bandit

BROTHEL TRIP– An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

“I’m 90 years old,” he says.

“90!” replies the woman.

“Don’t you realize you’ve had it?”

“Oh, sorry,” says the old man, “How much do I owe you?”

java

BIKERNET HANGOUTS AND SHOPS–We’re searching high and low for shops and hangouts to share with our traveling readers. We’re about to launch all the shops in the free area of the site for your easy access.

Hell, here’s a new hangout called JAVA JUNGLE, coffee shop and surf shack, 602 Pacific Coast Highway, Huntington Beach. It’s only one block north of the pier. One warning. The cops in that coastal berg have a bad anti-bike reputation. I’ve heard of shops that moved out of the city. Watch your ass.

THE SIDECAR CONNECTION–Are you into sidecars, looking to start, bought a family and need one. There’s a publication devoted to sidecar enthusiasts called Hack’d. They are located at P.O. Box 813, Buckhannon. WV 26201, hackd@sunlitsurf.com.

They’re motto is the Magazine For And About Sidecarists and their other omen is “Remember to RIDE OFTEN and then some more”. They cover the heart of riding a sidecar, the people, the events and tech advice.

It’s just a black and white newsletter type publication, but it’s full of heart, check it out.

ARLEN NESS’S NEW SITE Yes, the man who is blamed for every expensive, high-dollar, RUB, billet part on the planet has a new web site. I always find that class bullshit to be out of whack, especially when it comes to Arlen. He started as a mailman working in his garage building bikes and fighting with Bev, his wife about joinin’ a club, like the rest of us.

He’s good people, always has been, always will be. I don’t have to like all the parts he designs, but I still respect a man who works hard every day for what he built. So check out his site, goddamnit.

CONDOR CUSTOMS RETURNS–If you love choppers, art, manufacturing talent and live in the northwest, check Condors Customs. Tim drew the original touring chopper concept illustration for my red ride. He builds bikes with a unique twist. He’s the only builder on the planet to create the ultimate flame job. He set himself on fire in downtown Seattle traffic.

“Now lately I’ve made some decisions to do with ATF that have confused andpissed off a few people. It’s also gonna make what I’m doin’ a hell of a lotbetter…. This whole gig of mine is going to be built by art.” Tim said, “

My painting and design skills have benefited a hell of a lot from this”vacation” (?) I’ve been on. Fundamental truths have been revealed to me.”Conder Customs is alive once again. Drop him a line and go check out his place. You won’t be disappointed–

theConderosa@Hotmail.com

Continued On Page 3

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May 16, 2002 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH ? INTERESTING TIMES ROCK BIKER NATION
These are strange times indeed. First the attack on the US, Sept. 11 and forever we think about our lives, our country and our neighbors differently. For the first time in a decade, US clubs begin to battle. More and more reports indicate that the general media coverage is slanted by authorities who would just as soon jail all club members. Finally, the class disputes between the middle-class and the RUB I have always found out of whack.

So how are the teams broken up? Religious terrorists against the Franchise world. Full savings against low checking account balances and club brothers against club brothers. Ten years ago someone with a high degree of intellectual property told me that the next dispute in this country would be a class struggle. Is this it?

I personally find it strange. As Americans we have always celebrated the American way. A man of little means could become the President, if he so desired. A man who has the balls to invent a better mousetrap would be celebrated for his desire and drive.

Perhaps the terrorist attacks relit the warrior flame in clubs, but on the other hand street gangs have been at it ever since bike clubs wised up. Who the fuck knows?

I like the notion of men standing up for ourselves and having our own movement. On Sonny Barger’s site there’s a poll on prostitution. Some 86 percent of the people who filed out the questionnaire called for legalized prostitution.

It’s time men admitted that sex is different to us than it is to many women and for women to think they can control us and force us to be monogamous is against the make-up of man, so legalize prostitution, deal with it and Jerry Springer won’t have a job. We better get to the news before all hell breaks loose:

Can you believe that crap? Here?s a man with no less that three women in the headquarters at all times and he wants a prostitute. Hold up, three of us and only one of him? Shit, he needs to get us one; we?re the ones waiting for a turn! ~ Sin

Tattoos Are Back!–

rick tat
Here?s one from our very own, OldWolv. Thank you for not sending any shots with cracks or dangling parts.

BIKERNET RELIGIOUS MOMENT–Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe intheir car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of thecar and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Catherine. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” saysSister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he hangs onand continues hissing at the nuns. “What shall I do now?” she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at theVatican,” says Sister Helen. Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer.Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he still hangs on andcontinues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Catherine?

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Catherine.

She opens the window and shouts, “Get the fuck off the car!”

–from Nuttboy

BANDIT’S CANTINA UPDATE–The Cantina is coming alive with new episodes of the first Chance book, more Soap Opera segments, another Life And Times and we’re working on something else. I swear to God. It’s on the list.

We’re also in contact with a New York agent on the Chance Hogan series, but you and HORSE readers get to see the Chapters first. Ball also wrote a book initially called “Tides” while on his trip around the world. It’s made up of 32 chapters and 156,000 words and he says it’s his best effort yet. It is based on the Chance Hogan character series.

We are editing five chapters of “Tides” for the agent and will let Cantina members get a sneak preview in the next couple of weeks.

Great Escape Rally 2002 — The Desert Road Riders are gettinggeared up for their 2002 Rally, which they hope this year to be bigger andbetter. One of the many benefit runs they have throughout the year, theGreat Escape Rally being the major fundraiser for their end of year Toy Run.Last year the club was able to give toys and food to some 400+ children andtheir families during the toy run.

NEW MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE CARRIER–This Friday, May 17th, 21st Century Insurance will introduce their motorcycleinsurance by throwing a big bash and MC parade. They are located in theWarner Center in Woodland Hills – 6301 Owensmouth, just east of Topanga. Theevent begins at 11:00 am, and they would like the riders to arrive between11:05 – 11:10.

Joyce Prager, the event coordinator, would like to cue thegroup prior to arrival via her cell phone (I have her number). They arelooking for 21 riders, and if we’re successful, ECF, the Exceptional Childrens’ Foundation, will receive a $2,100donation. The Beach Ride also sponsors the ECF.

Let’s meet at Starbucks at 10:30 a.m. – it’s on the corner ofVentura and Topanga – on the north east corner in a shopping center facingTopanga. Please let me know if you will be able to join us – either by e-mailor here at my office 310 845-8062. My cell number is 310 251-5631 just incase. Thank you all!

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June 13, 2002 Part 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–THE SEAS SEEM CALM, BUT WHAT’S AROUND THE BEND

Continued From Page 2

Lepera Banner

THE SEAT SEARCH–I received a request from a reader about an FLH seat upolstery job:— genosurf wrote: Hi. I am looking for an outfit that re-upholsters leather FLH seats. Maybe someone can refer me to them. I want to add the gel pads as well for those long hauls on the shovel. I am located in Downey, near Los Angeles, but ride frequently to Ornage and San Diego Counties.

I suggest that the reader see the Le Pera site on Bikernet, since Le Pera does it all and features gel padded seats. Since then I received the following:

CORBIN 1-800-538-7035 The #1
Bob Lapera 818-7675110 The #2
Saddle Man 1-800-397-7709
Bar Enterprisers, Andy Amador 818-353-3888
Danny Gray Does all Arlen Ness and Jesse James seats mega bucks

Think about taking it down to Tijuana. The craftsmenthere are excellent and they’ll do it for a fractionof the price. Make sure you shop around and look atthe shops work first. They usually have samples infront of their shops. They also have great leather.MP>–Andy Anderson

MADE MY DAY–I’ve been following your reads for years. Started readin Easyrider when I was 17, sad to see it runnin into troubles. (I bought stock thinking it would be safe, wrong again.) Anyway I’m glad your still deliverin’ for us bros. I bought and read Prize Possession and Outlaw Justice way back when. Now it’s time to buy Orwell, so I can keep up with you.

I have a request though. I’d like you to autograph my copy. Is that possible? If so how do I include my request with my order? I’d like you to address it to my son. He’s 3 and a half now but he’s definately a biker. Let me know and I’ll order it right away.

Ah fuck, I’ll order it even if you won’t sign it.

Glad your back from the world crusie and even more greatful that you bounced back from the deer encounter.

Thanks for keepin the faith and deliverin the goods.

Ride free – Rascal

I wrote Rascal back and told him that I would be glad to sign the book to his kid. I’ll sign any book, just request it when ordering.–Bandit

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Another week has gone by, we are even closer to the Black Hills and therush is hitting hard, we need to get shit done by the 12th next month so wecan ship the whole thing over to the Ol ‘ USA. To top it off we are tryingto get something new for the Horse SMSO and it’s still on the drawingboard, so, we will have to super man it to be able to do it, yeap so what’snew ? I’m guessing that the bike will be a rigid and black, based on a Bourget’sframe, that’s all the info I am letting out, Bikernet will be the first tofeature the bike, that’s a promise.

Borget
Maybe we should convert to Harleyism and ride one of those gay V-Rods intothe Horse event, and even in Sturgis….Don’t think so… I’m sure Bandit is pacing around also, trying to figureout what his ride will be this year. I know what you might be thinking,(this guy’s got it easy) but nope, it takes the same money and effort as anyof you and sometimes even more, it’s not that easy having several bikes andhaving to sell one to build one, just because you have to do it. I’m surethat Bandit and a lot of other people would be very happy, and richer, ifthey took the same bike to Sturgis every year, but it’s like a bug, onceyou do a new bike for an event, you will try to do a new one every year,even if you have to steal, beg or pawn. It’s like a ritual , being rushed,work late nights, swear at the UPS guy and stuff like that. It’s evenworst when all the stuff is done on time, ’cause we have idle time to thinkof other stuff that can be cramed in such short time. Yea, it is insanity.But that’s the easy part, add friends and customers that need their bikesdone for the same event and regular guys who also need their stuff doneand it becomes a major clusterfuck. Yeap, we could have started earlier inthe year, but like the old saying goes ” nothing would get done if therewas no last minute ” that’s the way it is. Let’s see what we can reportthat first week in July, only three weeks till they bang the golden gong.

caribbean

By the time you read this the Desertores should be reaching Laconia intheir comfy, cd playing, full dress bikes (whimps)I wish them a safe trip and to have a hell of a time, maybe we will manageto get the true story from one of them upon their return.

I’ve heard a few more things about the Motorcycle Mania 3 show, but willwait for confirmation (unlike the Enquirer) before posting it here,remember you will get those news before anyone else. Unlike magazines weare able to report ASAP.

The Rolling Stones are on tour and we managed to score a couple tickets forMiami, Oct 23rd. It’s the week after Biketoberfest, uhmm, we might ride tothe concert, that would be fun. Would not mind riding aorund South Beacheither…..

Bourget’s Bike Works has a new web site address, it’sBourgetsbikeworks.biz, check those cool bikes out.

That’s about it for this week, anyway since there’s so many jokesaround …..This guy goes to the grocery store and gives the cashier a bag of potatochips a six pack and dip

The cute clerk looks at him and says “You must be single”

The guy says “Why, are youa genius? “

The girl goes, “Nope, because you’re fucking ugly”.

–Jose, Caribbean Bikernet.

BARTENDER– A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

“Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.”

“ONE CENT!” exclaims the guy.

The barman replies, “Yes.”

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?”

“Certainly, sir,” replies the bartender, “But all that comes to real money.”

“How much money?” inquires the guy.

“4 cents”, he replies.

“FOUR cents!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”

The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”

The bartender replies, “Same as I’m doing to his business.

powder

That’s Powder from the Calendar Show Band–look out.?

HOT BIKE PRESENTS THE WHITE BROTHERS LOS ANGELES CALENDAR MOTORCYCLE SHOW SPONSORED BY BIKERNET.COM– Exciting 2-Day Weekend Streetbike Extravaganza set forJuly 20 -21st at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach

The 2002 edition of the Hot Bike magazine sponsored White Brothers Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show set for July 20-21st at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, is really coming together with 130 major manufacturers and the leading custom bike builders from across America. Sponsored by Hot Bike, White Brothers, Performance Machine, Bikernet.com and The Recycler/Cycle Buys, and featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets.

Exciting features at this year’s Show include an added celebrity host, legendary biker journalist Keith Ball, a.k.a. Bandit of Bikernet.com, together with our returning hostess, the lovely Brenda Fox.

Bikernet.com will also again be hosting the blowout Bikernet.com Party on Saturday night aboard the Queen Mary with a huge fireworks display. Last year’s party was a huge success with standing room only, lots of free Bikernet.com giveaways, and running until the wee hours of the morning.

And just to get things heated up beforehand, in the Event Park there will be a 6pm concert performance by LA’s hottest new performance show band Powder with lead singer Ninette. If you like the well known band No Doubt with lead singer Gwen Stefani, then the talents of Powder will blow you away even further with their electrifying stage performance and vocals focused on the beautiful Ninette in her Madonna-esque bikini costumes. Returning again this year by popular demand as the day-time band both days is the pop / jazz /salsa band Soto.

And of course, the Calendar Bike Show Show features the most competitive Bike Contest on the West Coast with it?s prestigious new Performance Machine Best of Show Trophy. Other activities include The White Brothers West Coast Horsepower Dyno Shootout, a FastDates.com Calendar Girl Pageant, and of course the premier of the 2003 FastDates.com Calendars with the beautiful calendar models in attendance. And one of the models will be Miss Great Britain Nicki Lane, who the weekend before will be one of our official SBK FastDates.com Girls at Laguna Seca World Superbike. (Nicki’s picture: http://www.FastDates.com/PLN.Images2002/PLN.Nicki250.jpg )

Spectators and Exhibitors can find out more about The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show, the Bike Contest and all the available weekend activities online at www.FastDates.com.

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