Photo from Bob T.
Let me start by wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and sincere hopes that 2005 will be a great year for you all.
It?s an ongoing effort to keep up with what?s new in the industry and get it to you in record time. A pleasurable effort I might add but an effort nonetheless. Which brings me to the changes we?ve made and the changes to come.
In order to exist, we?ve been soliciting advertisers on Bikernet from day one, which some people complain about. They don?t want to see ads. However, we got bills just like everyone else. Now that our numbers are so high, we?re shifting gears and reaching out to our readers. We want to keep the site generally free, and you can help.
In the past we?ve played with different prices for the Cantina, then finally settled on $24.95 per year, plus a free copy of Orwell. But now we’re lowering the price to a stinkin’ $5 bucks a year and hope everyone joins so that we can continue to behave in the ill-mannered fashion you?re accustom to.
So, our new campaign is ?Support Bikernet.com?. Join the Cantina for $5 bucks a year; it?s cheaper than a beer at Hard Rock, more enjoyable than a coffee from Starbucks (cheaper too) and more informative than a Borders Bookstore. Well, maybe not, but cheaper.
You get the picture? enjoy the news.
TOP GUN SMOKES MONSTER GARAGE– World?s fastest Street Harley goes Hollywood and 181 MPH!
If you weren?t fortunate enough to have caught the October 11, 2004 episode of the Discovery Channel?s hugely popular Monster Garage you really need to purchase a copy of the video. The Carl?s Speed Shop team of Carl Morrow, Doug Morrow and Serg Torres were among several industry celebrities enlisted for this entertaining and informative episode. But, what really made the show worth watching was when Doug rolled TOP GUN out of the trailer and lit the thing up.
This is the bike that has attained the title of World?s Fastest Street Harley-Davidson on no less than 14 occasions. Not only did he fire the bike but also after a short warm up, he rolled around the corner onto the city streets of Long Beach and dropped the hammer. Locals must have thought a 737 had missed the runway at Long Beach International Airport as buildings vibrated, animals ran for cover and the street went up in smoke. Viewers were treated to one hellacious, block long burnout. When the bike came to a standstill, the rear tire was completely shredded! It was enough to make your hair stand on end while painting a dramatic and vivid picture of just how potent this machine really is.
Doug?s Godzilla burnout was just a preview of things to come. Shortly after the Discovery Channel shoot, TOP GUN was strapped back into Carl?s race garage on wheels, and headed for the Maxton Mile in North Carolina. At Maxton the team swapped gears, changed the rubber and sent Doug on his way to setting an astounding 8 new records. Most noteworthy of the record passes was Doug?s official speed of 181.03188 MPH following a first half pass at 181.99455 MPH in PG-3000/4. That my friends is one awesome feat for a street legal Harley. How long will it stand? Probably not long.
With Serg and Carl tuning, Doug handling the throttle and major tech input and sponsorship from Rivera Engineering and Bassani Exhaust, TOP GUN is sure to make even this mind boggling record, old news in the near future.
Carl?s Speed Shop provides high performance products and services for all Harley-Davidson, and H-D clone powered machines. Located in Daytona Beach, Florida, Carl?s can be contacted at 388-258-3777 or visit them on the Web athttp://www.carlsspeedshop.com.
THE SANDS OF CHRISTMAS– I had no Christmas spirit when I breathed a weary sigh,
and looked across the table where the bills were piled too high.
The laundry wasn’t finished and the car I had to fix,
My stocks were down another point, the Dolphins lost by six.
And so with only minutes till my son got home from school,
I gave up on the drudgery and grabbed a wooden stool.
The burdens that I carried were about all I could take,
and so I flipped the TV on to catch a little break.
I came upon a desert scene in shades of tan and rust,
No snowflakes hung upon the wind, just clouds of swirling dust.
And where the reindeer should have stood before a laden sleigh,
eight hummers ran a column right behind an M1A.
A group of boys walked past the tank, not one was past his teens,
Their eyes were hard as polished flint, their faces drawn and lean.
They walked the street in armor with their rifles shouldered tight,
their dearest wish for Christmas, just to have a silent night.
Other soldiers gathered, hunkered down against the wind,
To share a scrap of mail and dreams of going home again.
There wasn’t much at all to put their lonely hearts at ease,
They had no Christmas turkey, just a pack of MRE’s.
They didn’t have a garland or a stocking I could see,
They didn’t need an ornament– they lacked a Christmas Tree.
They didn’t have a present even though it was tradition,
the only boxes I could see were labeled “ammunition”.
I felt a little tug and found my son now by my side,
He asked me what it was I feared, and why it was I cried.
I swept him up into my arms and held him oh so near
and kissed him on the forehead as I whispered in his ear.
There’s nothing wrong, my little son, for safe we sleep tonight,
our heroes stand on foreign land to give us all the right,
to worry about the things in life that really mean nothing at all,
instead of wondering each day if we will be the next to fall.
He looked at me as children do and said it’s always right,
to thank the ones who help us and perhaps that we should write.
And so we pushed aside the bills and sat to draft a note,
to thank the many far from home, and this is what we wrote,
God bless you all and keep you safe, and speed your way back home.
Remember that we love you so, and that you’re not alone.
The gift you give, you share with all, a present every day,
You give the gift of liberty and that we can’t repay.
Author Unknown
Vern
Some one is going to have a bad Christmas
Details Sketchy on Drug Plane Crash — By JUSTIN D. ANDERSON
WHEELING – A news conference was expected to be held this afternoon in Wheeling in connection with the crash of a small airplane near the Wheeling-Ohio County Airport early Sunday that reportedly had an undisclosed amount of illegal drugs aboard.
Few details have been released about the crash since it was discovered by airport officials Sunday morning. According to James Peters, a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration, the Piper Aerostar twin-engine plane crashed Sunday morning. The plane is reportedly registered to James E. May of P.O. Box 685 Auburn, Ala. as well as two other registrants – Richard D. Starr and James L. Starr LLC, no addresses given.
Contact information for May or either Starr was not available today. Peters reported that the pilot was apparently injured in the crash, however the pilot has not been found. Officials believe the pilot managed to walk away from the crash. Also, there is no indication as to the origin of the flight. Peters further noted that since the aircraft was “destroyed” officials with the National Transportation Safety Board were expected to respond to the scene today.
The Aerostar is a “typical executive-type” aircraft, capable of hauling six passengers and two members of a flight crew.
Staff at the Wheeling-Ohio County Airport on Sunday discovered the small Piper Aerostar twin-engine aircraft in a ravine of a wooded area just west of the airport. Airport Manager Thomas S. Tominack said late Sunday that upon arrival at the scene of the crash, airport staff found there were no passengers or flight crew around the aircraft.
Detailed information about what type of drugs were found is expected to be released at the news conference today. Reports that cocaine was found on the plane could not be confirmed this morning.
“The aircraft sustained substantial damage,” Tominack said. However, there was “no fire involved.” A portion of one of the wings had been torn off, but the fuselage was “pretty much intact.”
“Because of the terrain and the amount of woods, it was not real easy to evaluate,” Tominack said.
The minimal damage to the fuselage “obviously” enabled “whomever was operating” the aircraft to escape from the wreckage, Tominack speculated.
An airport staff member early Sunday reported that a navigational aid at the approach end of the runway was damaged, prompting a search of the immediate area. A unit from the U.S. Air Force’s auxiliary Civil Air Patrol had reportedly picked up a signal at around 4:40 a.m. Sunday from the aircraft’s emergency transmitter. Tominack said the patrol was searching an area about three miles east of the airport near West Liberty. Police search dogs also were utilized in the search Sunday.
Tominack said not much is known about the flight due to “numerous unorthodox flight procedures” the aircraft was exhibiting. Tominack said it is “relatively simple” to track an aircraft if the crew is following normal flight plans, which the pilot of the aircraft found Sunday was reportedly not following.
“There are still some outstanding questions we are trying to determine,” Tominack said. “It’s not a typical crash scene. We’re trying to determine exactly what did occur.”
The scene of the crash and the road leading to the airport were blocked to the public and media. A fire truck from the Windsor Heights Volunteer Fire Department blocked off Girtys Point Road at the entrance of the airport. Another roadblock had reportedly been set up further east on the road.
Later, two vehicles from the West Virginia State Police took the fire engine’s place. A trooper at the scene would not allow anyone near the crash, nor would he provide any statements.
Rogue
DON?T ASK–Attorneys should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded: “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied: “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said: “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt.
Vern
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Last news before Christmas, so I guess it’s in order to wish everyone here, the staff, my family and all the faithful, and unfaithful readers Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
From me and everyone at Caribbean Custom Cycles.
So I guess instead of bitchin’ about something, we need to enjoy this time, although it does not feel like the Holidays at all. My dad is back from the hospital (the second time) and we are glad he is well, and can keep on rockin’. Also we want to wish Jay Hodge, our favorite foam sucker, board shaper a quick recovery from his accident, lucky he still around. Also well wishes go to Hugh King, prompt recoups to all….Be safe all you fuckers !!!!
The triple Crown of surfing, the Pipeline Masters and the Eddie Aikau contest already took place in the North Shore of Hawaii, all won by local Hawaiian bruthas. Cool, congrats to Sunny Garcia who won the triple Crown, too bad we missed him this year when we bailed out on the surf movie since Billy’s motor was toast. Congrats as well to all my friends from Hawaii. Speaking of Hawaii, I would really like to be able to spend the Holidays over there, although these are tough times and we must work. People buy toys and stuff, not motorcycle parts, so we hang on for the better times. Such is life. Maybe next time I will be able to plan accordingly and will be free of obligations so I can head over there, in the meantime, just work some more…….
Just in case, and this might be a super plug, all my personal bikes are for sale (except the purple bobber) so if anyone here is interested in one of them shoot me an e-mail at info@chopperfreak.com, please add the title ?bikes for sale?, since I receive enough cheap drug, grow the dick, slutty chicks dying to meet you, etc,etc, e-mails to last a lifetime.
Speaking of selling stuff, some of our parts are already out. Jockey shift levers, side brake/plate bases, point covers and a few others are available, thanks to Fabricator Kevin for making those for us. They will be available on my site soon. Also the roller will finally be done by the first couple months of the year. And last but not least, a couple new Chopper Freak(tm) designs are in the making. For sure most of that stuff will be posted here pretty soon.
I know you guys love it when I rant about stuff, I want you to know that none of this shit is personal, it’s just the way I see things and the way I feel about some of them. It’s very interesting that people follow this week after week, then again, I have a very powerful forum here on Bikernet, who, of course reaches millions of people. Sure there’s some shit that might be bothering me right now, but like I said, it’s Christmas so I will behave. Although, here goes a slight warning; I say what I say so people take notice of situations, maybe by this people will realize if they have been fucking up (again my word is not gospel) or if they have not been, or behaved like they should, life as it is, somebody someplace will relate to some of the venom I might be writing. Once more it’s not personal but if you feel you fit the bill, please do us all a favor and analyze yourself.
As a society, brotherhood, fellow humans or whatever the fuck we feel we fit into, we must treat each other with the utmost respect. Someone said a very long time ago, don’t do unto others what you don’t like being done to yourself. I guess that is the best Christmas present you can give to others and to yourself. We are pretty fucking lucky to be able to have a lifestyle as we do, to be able to have good friends who would and will give you their last buck, their help and anything else in times of need. It?s something that can’t be bought into; that no matter how hard you try can’t be gained by buying the newest stuff, wearing the latest cool rags or acting the part. We are not actors, we are real. This is life to us, not a game. Sadly as such some of us die, some of us struggle and some of us shine, but we are still who we are. No pretences, no smoke curtains. With this, watch out, we have radar for bogus shit, for those who don’t and will never belong. Greed, bullshit and pretence have no place here. The best gift for this Holidays is life, no matter how sucky or how great, enjoy it and be glad.!
I don’t want to sound like a fuckin’ bad omen here, but the list gets longer. Mark from West Coast Choppers had a close encounter with a running primary, get better soon dude, and Josh “Mr Cool” Mills needs a pinky re-stitched. To all, like the great intellectual Jerry Springer sez, take care of yourselves and each other……
See you guys next week…..and incase I did not say it enough…Merry Fucking Christmas !!!!
Jose ? Caribbean Reporter
LATS & ATTS TV– Latitudes & Attitudes will begin broadcasting a 1/2 hour weekly prime-time television show on March 29th on The Men’s Channel. It will be available to 27 million homes on it’s launch. Currently they are available on DISH and select Comcast Cable networks. It is being produced by Kewl Productions and Bob Bitchin is the Executive Producer of the show.
The show will try to convey the same feeling about cruising as the magazine. A light, fun and entertaining look at the cruising lifestyle.
Some of the magazine features we will be bringing to the screen will be cruising adventures shot on cruisers boats world-wide, an “Underway” section with cruisers photos set to music, an “Andy Rooney” style ending dialoge titled “Attitudes” by yours truly. As well as feature boats, new design boats and our popular “At The Boat Show” segment with new products for the cruising sailor.
Bob Bitchin
Founder & Publisher
Latitudes & Attitudes Magazine
Executive Producer
Kewl Productions
publisher@seafaring.com
http://www.seafaring.net
888-8-WE SAIL
(310) 798-3445
Bob Bitchin was the publisher/editor of Biker, FTW and Tattoo magazine before Paisano Publications bought the mag almost 20 years ago. He’s been sailing around the world ever since. His sailing mag is wild.–Bandit
Continued On Page 2
